But most of you have already been doing this for years (you pigs.)
Hey Kids, It's the Feast of St. Clare
St Clare is the patron saint of television.
But I'm not sure if you pray to her for quality TV or to deliver you from all the bad TV out there. Perhaps, Paula Abdul should pray to her.
Here's your today in History:
August 11 1772 -
The summit of Papandayan volcano in West Java suddenly implodes, unleashing a catastrophic debris avalanche which blankets an area of 250 square km. Tumbling boulders flatten 40 villages and their 2,957 inhabitants.
People, this is what happens when you do not make the proper virgin sacrifices to the volcano gods. You can't throw just any old skank into a volcano.
August 11 1937 -
On this day, expatriate Edith Wharton died in France, and ex-expatriate Ernest Hemingway didn't, in New York. Edith Wharton died in France, in the quiet, Old World style she liked to live and describe; also on this day, and in New World contrast, ex-expatriate Ernest Hemingway bared his hairy chest to Max Eastman's unhairy one, demanded "What do you mean accusing me of impotence?" and then wrestled Eastman to the floor.
I'm not accusing Hemingway of anything, it's just Hemingway liked to strip to the waist, grease his body and wrestle smaller, slender men to the ground - sweating and grunting, stiffening, then becoming quite still.
That's perfectly normal.
August 11 1956 -
Jackson Pollock famous abstract artist and public urinator, dies in an alcohol-related, single car crash in 1956 at the age of only 44, killing one of his passengers, Edith Metzger.
The other passenger, his girlfriend Ruth Kligman, survived.
August 11 1984 -
Not realizing that his weekly radio address is already on the air, President Ronald Reagan quips into his live microphone: "My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
Oh that rascally dead President, such a kidder.
And so it goes.
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