Monday, March 1, 2010

Did you get your Pig a card today?

Today is National Pig Day honoring the porcine fellow. According to one of the holiday's creators, the purpose of National Pig Day is "to accord the pig its rightful, though generally unrecognized, place as one of man's most intellectual and domesticated animals."

Everybody should go wallow in the mud and kiss a pig (or not.)

Happy March folks.

I can't remember the old saying, March comes in like a killer whale and goes out like an accident victim.

The name of March comes from ancient Rome, when March was the first month of the year and called Martius after Mars, the Roman god of war. In Rome, where the climate is Mediterranean, March is the first month of spring, a logical point for the beginning of the year as well as the start of the military campaign season. The numbered year began on March 1 in Russia until the end of the fifteenth century. Great Britain and her colonies continued to use March 25 until 1752, the same year they finally adopted the Gregorian calendar. Many other cultures and religions still celebrate the beginning of the New Year in March.

Among the things we celebrate this month are:
* Cataract Awareness Month
* Hemophilia Month
* Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Month
* Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month (Please stay out of Katie Couric's butt!)
* Mental Retardation and Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month (Please no joke or I'll have Sarah Palin up my butt.)
* Rosacea Awareness Month
* Deaf History Month
* Feminine Empowerment Month
* Foot Health Month
* Frozen Food Month
* Humorists Are Artists Month
* International Hamburger & Pickle Month
* Irish-American Heritage Month (Please don't let the Catholic High Schools know that St. Patrick's Day can be celebrated all month long.)
* Professional Social Work Month
* Red Cross Month (Hopefully they'll catch a break and there'll be fewer disasters this month.)
* Talk with Your Teen about Sex Month

* Social Worker's Month (If you don't talk to your kids about sex.)

Today in History:
March 1, 1810 -
Frédéric François Chopin, one of the best-known and best-loved composers of the Romantic period, was born on this date.

Chopin’s entire musical output was devoted to his favorite instrument, the piano.

March 1, 1932 -
A man, most likely not the convicted and executed Bruno Hauptmann, climbs a makeshift ladder to the 2nd floor of Charles Lindbergh's New Jersey home and snatches his twenty-month-old son, Charles Jr. Whoever took the baby left behind a poorly-written ransom note demanding $50,000 in small bills.

Interesting aside, leading the investigation for the New Jersey state police was Col. H. Norman Schwarzkopf, father of the Gulf War hero, “Stormin Norman,” who shares his name.

March 1, 1954 -
The first hydrogen bomb is detonated at Bikini. Even though the bomb was hundreds of times more powerful than the atomic bomb exploded there in 1946, no islanders were evacuated this time. Almost 300 people suffered radiation exposure. The test was so successful that it blew the once happy island into tiny bits that came to be known collectively as the Bikini Atoll.

Shrewd fashion moguls in France put two and two together and invented bell bottoms.

About four hundred years earlier--on March 1, 1562--Jason and his thousand Huguenots were at prayer in Vassy, France, when they were suddenly massacred by Catholics. Huguenots and Catholics subsequently fought The Wars of Religion for over three decades to settle the question of Best Religion Ever. Unfortunately the Edict of Nantes granted religious tolerance in 1598 and the question was never settled to anyone's satisfaction.

As a result, billions of human beings continue to honor the wrong religion to this very day. I truly hopes God is grading on a curve. . .

March 1, 1969 -
While performing with the Doors at The Dinner Key Auditorium in Miami, the formerly svelte, now tubby alcoholic Jim Morrison asks the audience Do you wanna see my cock? then exposes himself briefly on a Miami stage.

For thus showing his peepee, Morrison received a sentence of six months hard labor.

Mr. Mojo Rising indeed.

March 1, 1971 -
You may not need a weatherman to tell which way the wind blows but... The radical group Weather Underground explodes a bomb in a restroom of the U.S. Capitol building, causing significant damage. The bomb exploded after an intensive search of the building yielded no results.

Nobody is ever convicted of the attack.

March 1, 1978 -
The body of Charlie Chaplin is stolen for ransom by Galtcho Ganav (Bulgaria) and Romnan Wardas (Poland) from a cemetery in Corsier, Switzerland. The actor's corpse is recovered two months later.

One can only hope the little tramp was properly embalmed.

And so it goes.


Matt S. said...

Commenting here because I'm not sure that if I leave a comment on your post for October 2008 it may never be seen again. There you repeat the urban legend that the Ferguson boys who murdered Ramon Navarro were Mormons. They were not. At the trial, Paul Ferguson blamed his violence on his Catholic upbringing.

At the trial, he testified:

"When [Novarro] kissed me, I reacted like a Catholic, what they call homosexual panic. Some old guy in the desert says, ‘Kill homosexuals.’ It’s inbred. . . . I was too drunk to be civilized. Whatever my most primitive moral standings were, I reacted. It had nothing to do with Novarro, nothing to do with his being homosexual. It all had to do with how I saw myself. And the fact that my brother was there. And that he could see me in that homosexual act. It all had to do with my Catholic upbringing, with my five thousand years of Moses. And that’s the only reason why this whole thing happened. Because that’s what society teaches you. . . . I think after I hit Mr. Novarro . . . I turned around and sat down on the sofa. I got up and went to find [Novarro] in the bedroom. ‘This guy’s dead.’ . . . We didn’t go there to rob him."


Please correct your post on the Navarro murder to eliminate the libel on Mormons. Thanks.

Matt Streher

Kevin said...

Upon some further research, Mssrs. Tom and Paul Ferguson did confess to being 'Mackerel Snappers' and I stand corrected. I have made the changes to my postings.