Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The world DID not stop spinning: unity has been achieved

Hillary Clinton fully endorsed Barack Obama last night in a rousing speech. If you read some of the dailies though, she apparently did not promise not to lead her centurions into DC and burn down the Capital or go home, draw a warm bath and slit her wrists. I'm guessing you can't please all news editors.

Among today's birthdays are -

August 27, 1882,
Schmuel Gelbfisz, (Samuel Goldwyn), glove maker, sales man and pioneer filmmaker was born in Warsaw, Poland.



August 27, 1916 -
Martha Raye, singer, actor, denture wearer was born in Butte, Montana.



August 27, 1952 -
Paul Reubens (Pee-wee Herman) American actor, writer, comedian and public masturbator was born on this date.



I know you are but what am I.

Most people have learned to watch their cholesterol and blood pressure, but how many Americans really know how to protect themselves against assassination? Not many. And yet, each year, millions of people are killed by assassins.

It’s tragic because these are needless deaths, almost all of which could have been prevented. I have found on the internet, a few simple precautions can help ensure that no assassin’s bullet will ever have your name on it:

First, get plenty of exercise, eat plenty of vegetables, and avoid being born into royalty.

Don’t be president, prime minister, or other Top Person.

Don’t create a military junta or mastermind a coup.

Don’t say or write anything that might be considered disparaging by anyone with

their own military junta.

Do not found a religion.

Do not oppose a religion.

If your parents are gods, dismember them.

If your children are gods, devour them.

Excel at nothing.

Stay indoors.

Always call shotgun when driving with suicide car-bombers.

Here's your Today in History -

Political Philosophy has caused more human death and suffering than any other disease. No inoculations exist. Outbreaks are sudden and almost always fatal. Political Philosophy strikes young and old alike, healthy and sickly, nimble and clumsy, lefty and righty. By the time its symptoms are visible, you have very little time to protect yourself. Popular referendums will only exacerbate the problem. Emigrate at once.

Case studies:

On August 27, 1793, the Committee of Public Safety in Paris, France, accepted its newest member, Maximilien Robespierre. Robespierre soon rose to prominence on the basis of his Political Philosophy, the Guillotine, which was quicker than Inalienable Rights and more readily understood than Separation of Powers.



On August 27, 1770, George William Hegel was born. Hegel was also a kind of political philosopher. He believed in theses and antitheses and that sooner or later everyone ended up in Synthetics. Unfortunately there was no way to test his theory, as this was well before the invention of polyester.



And so it goes.

No comments: