I have to murder and dismember a crustacean.

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you.



Nora Ephron, writer, director, cook and New Yorker, lost her battle with leukemia yesterday.


Kids, I know it's the last day of school but here's one more educational film for you -



Remember, this will be on the test.  Oh, never mind ....Have a good summer.


Happy Birthday to You, the four-line ditty was written as a classroom greeting in 1893 by two Louisville teachers, Mildred J. Hill (born in Louisville, KY, on June 27, 1859) an authority on Negro spirituals and Dr. Patty Smith Hill, professor emeritus of education at Columbia University.

So remember you can start to sing 'Happy Birthday' but don't finish it, the rights to the song are incredibly expensive. You may substitute any of the following for our purposes under "Fair Use":

* Happy birthday to you, cha cha cha, happy birthday to you, cha cha cha
* Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, you look like a monkey, and belong in a zoo!
* Happy birthday to you, you belong in a zoo, cause you look like a monkey and you smell like one too!
* Happy birthday to you, squashed tomatoes and stew, bread and butter in the gutter, happy birthday to you.
* Happy birthday to you, you're one hundred and two, you smell like a monkey, and you eat like one too!
* Happy birthday to you, you were born in a loo, and since it's your birthday, I'll flush it for you!
* Happy Birthday to you, stick your head down the loo, don't waste it, just taste it, happy birthday to you.
* Happy birthday to you, I went to the zoo, I saw a fat monkey, and it looked just like you!
* Happy birthday to you, you live in the zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too.
* Happy birthday to you, you're one hundred and two, you smell like a monkey, and you look like one too!

Today in History:
June 27, 363 -
The Roman Emperor Julian died on this date from grievous wounds he sustained in battle.

With his death, so ended the revival of Paganism (and state sanctioned sodomy) in Rome.  I believe this is the third day in a row I got to reference sodomy.


June 27 1844 -
Mormon leader Joseph Smith, along with his brother Hyrum, were shot and killed by a mob while in jail at Carthage, Illinois.

According to church legend, after Smith is shot a man raises a knife to decapitate him, but is thwarted by a thunderbolt from heaven. God was having an off day and the thunderbolt was meant to fry Smith's body to a crisp.


June 27, 1905 -
Sailors from the Battleship Potemkin start a mutiny aboard the Battleship Potemkin, denouncing the crimes of autocracy, demanding liberty and an end to war. Sergei Eisenstein, wacky Russian film director, thought he could make a summer comedy from the subject matter.



He unfortunately had no sense of humor and went on to create the classic silent film, The Battleship Potemkin, in spite of himself.


It's Bob Keeshan's birthday.



If you're of a certain age, you remember him very well.


June 27, 1928 -
On this day in 1928, Sylvia Beach invited James Joyce and Scott Fitzgerald to dinner at her apartment over her Paris Bookstore Shakespeare & Company. Fitzgerald became drunk (which is like stating, the sun rose this morning):. He said he was such a fan of Joyce's that he would throw himself out the window to prove it.

Neither writer was having much success. Fitzgerald had just published The Great Gatsby and it had not been selling well. Joyce's Ulysses wouldn't be published outside of Paris for another five years. Both men died 13 years later, less than a month apart, with no money and very few readers.

Such is life.


June 27, 1949 -
"Guardian of the Safety of the World", private citizen-scientist Captain Video, premiered on the Dumont Network on this date.



Captain Video was an agent of, and worked for, the Solar Council of the Interplanetary Alliance.



June 27, 1957 -
... I'd hate to take a bite outta you. You're a cookie full of arsenic.

The brilliant film-noir, Sweet Smell of Success, partially based on columnist Walter Winchell starring Burt Lancaster and Tony Curtis was released on this date.



This film's shoot was filled with macho tensions and at one point, the temperamental Burt Lancaster threatened to punch the film's writer, Ernest Lehman. The witty scribe replied, "Go ahead, I need the money."


June 27, 1966 -
The first broadcast of Dark Shadows aired on ABC-TV on this date.



For more than a year and a half the characters of Dark Shadows used almost every possible phrase to refer to Barnabas Collins ("He's not alive!" "He's one of the undead." "He walks at night but he ain't alive.") It wasn't until the 410th episode that the word "vampire" was actually used on the show.


Before I let you go - View the existential angst of a French Cat



Perhap it is all just a rouse.



And so it goes.