Thursday, August 18, 2011

It's getting crazy out there

Wascally Jihadists called for the death of David Letterman for his continual ribbing of al Qaeda.

Psst FBI, check Jay Leno's home computer.

Today is National Bad Poetry Day in the United States. (The Latvian city of Riga was founded on this date in 1201 as well - but you don't care.)

For those of you who live in Nantucket - You've been warned.

August 18, 1957 -
Denis Colin Leary, actor, comedian, writer, and director was born on this date.

I'm not sure but I've heard he's a bit of an asshole.

Today in History:
August 18, 1227 -
Genghis Khan dies in his sleep, after a fall from his horse. His old age and drinking probably contributed to his death

(or perhap a Tangut princess, to avenge her people and prevent her rape, castrated him with a knife hidden inside her - ouch) , which the Mongols manage to keep secret for some time. Apparently, it was only just announced.

August 18, 1503 -
... In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed — they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock....

Pope Alexander VI (a Borgia) died on this date. He was the father of seven illegitimate children, and during his reign chose as his lover the lovely sixteen year old Guilia Farnese. He is said to have uttered the last words "Wait a minute" before expiring.

August 18, 1590 -
Sent to England to get supplies three years prior, John White finally returns to Roanoke Island and discovers his colony "strongly enclosed with a high palisade of great trees, with [curtain walls] and [bastions] -- very fort-like."

There is no sign of the settlers or where they may have gone, but carved in the bark of one of the trees is the word CROATOAN.

Luckily, REDRUM wasn't carved in the trees, because that would have been scary.

August 18, 1958 -
... Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul....

Lolita, a novel by Vladimir Nabokov, first written in English and published in 1955 in Paris, later translated by the author into Russian, is finally published on this date in New York. The novel is both internationally famous for its innovative style and infamous for its controversial subject: the book's narrator and protagonist, Humbert Humbert, becoming sexually obsessed with a 12-year-old girl named Dolores Haze.

August 18, 1999 -
A giant black rainbow encircles the Earth, sucking all oxygen from the atmosphere. The air returns shortly thereafter, but only after millions die from asphyxiation. On the bright side, the survivors go on to build a Utopian civilization.

It all happens precisely as predicted in the 1950s by Criswell, the TV psychic immortalized in the movie Plan 9 from Outer Space. If you don't remember this happening, fear not, the government deemed you too stupid to handle this terrifying information and had you anally probed to erase your memory.

It's much too complicated to explain to the likes of most of you.

And so it goes.

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