Hey kids, here's a chart on how to avoid the swine flu
So let's review, the best way to avoid getting sick - Air kisses, 'The Reverse Cowgirl' (with condom. please), a light arm squeeze & then fist bumping your date good night. Remember, there will be a test.
Christmas video countdown - early Christmas videos -
Today in History:
December 3, 1890 -
Isaac Jordan, the U.S. Congressional Representative from the great state of Ohio, dies after taking a drunken stumble down an open elevator shaft in his law offices.
This is a special safety message to all our elected officials - remember to check if the elevator is there when entering, especially if you are drunk.
December 3, 1948 -
John Michael Osbourne, rock star, 'Prince Of Darkness', drug use casualty and animal vivisectionist is born on this date.
Rock on Ozzy!
December 3, 1968 -
St. Elvis appears to his devoted acolytes. The leather clad Elvis - not the sweaty holy Elvis. This is the "Elvis has left the building" Elvis.
Touch the screen and feel his healing powers upon your pelvis.
December 3, 1974 -
During a shoot for the cover of Pink Floyds the Animals album, one of the props, an inflatable pig broke free due to a strong gust of wind (gaining a lot of press coverage). The pig, named Algie, floated above Battersea Power Station, then disappeared from sight within five minutes, and was spotted by airline pilots at forty thousand feet in the air. Flights at Heathrow Airport were cancelled as the huge inflatable pig flew through the path of aircraft, eastwards from Britain and out over the English Channel, finally landing on a rural farm in Kent that night.
There is nothing worse that a free flying porcine roaming the English countryside.
December 3, 1979 -
At Riverfront Coliseum in Cincinnati, eleven concertgoers are trampled several dozen others injured in the rush for seating at the opening of a sold-out concert by The Who.
Only a few doors were in operation that night, and there are reports that management did not open more doors due to the concern of people sneaking past the ticket turnstiles.
Festival seating anyone.
December 3, 1984 -
Methyl Isocyanate leaks from a Union Carbide pesticide plant located at a slum in Bhopal, India. The gas kills 4,000 people and injures 200,000 others, many of whom were permanently blinded or disabled.
The event set a standard for industrial accidents that has yet to be equaled.
What else can one say.
9 more shopping days until Hanukkah, 22 more shopping days until Christmas.
And so it goes.