Wednesday, June 15, 2022

Feeling a little shellfish tonight.

Today is National lobster Day. I'm not sure if the holiday is celebrating this crustacean for its' longevity or its' delicious taste. Yes I know that if you are celebrating National Lobster Day today, you are celebrating the consumption of Canadian lobsters and not our own national variety. I don't care, I love lobsters, especially in my tummy, floating in a sea of gin, especially Bombay Sapphire. (What alcohol you like your pre-digested crustaceans to float in, is between you and your god.)

If you feel you must, celebrate National Lobster Day on the 25th of September, when you clearly will be honoring the Maine variety. Once again, need I remind the gentle reader that, National Martini Day is June 19th, and Father's Day is also June 20th; I know I have lobster in my future.



Here's a tip from your old friend, the doctor: Look for a lobster that seems active and alive, and the more active, the better. If you are not squeamish, remove the rubber bands before dispatching your lobsters.

If you have the time please take a tip from one of our bunkies, consider reading David Foster Wallace's classic essay, "Consider the Lobster."


June 15, 1960 -
The Apartment, starring Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine, opened in New York on this date. This is the film Billy Wilder completed after his smash hit Some Like It Hot.



Billy Wilder originally thought of the idea for the film after seeing Brief Encounter and wondering about the plight of a character unseen in that film -- the person who lends his apartment for an extramarital tryst. Shirley MacLaine was only given forty pages of the script because Wilder didn't want her to know how the story would turn out. She thought it was because the script wasn't finished.


June 15, 1967 -
The Robert Aldrich WWII adventure film, The Dirty Dozen, starring Lee Marvin, Ernest Borgnine, Charles Bronson, Jim Brown, John Cassavetes, Richard Jaeckel, George Kennedy, Ralph Meeker, Robert Ryan, Telly Savalas, Donald Sutherland, Clint Walker and Robert Webber, premiered on this date.



At a cocktail function in London, Lee Marvin got drunk and propositioned an older woman in the most vulgar manner possible. So slurred was his speech that she asked him to repeat it and he obliged. The woman turned out to be Sean Connery's aunt, and Connery was on his way to Marvin's general direction when producer Kenneth Hyman intervened. "Don't hit him in the face, Sean", he begged, "He's got his close-ups tomorrow". Fortunately, Connery saw the funny side and roared with laughter. "You fucking producers", he said as he left.


June 15, 1973 -
Motown Records released Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On, on this date.



Co-written by Ed Townsend (he had a big hit in 1958, For Your Love), the song originally addressed the author's desire to get on with life after beating alcoholism. Marvin Gaye completely changed the lyrics (and meaning) to the song after meeting Janis Hunter, the woman who would become his second wife.
 
 
June 15, 1973 -
20th Century Fox releases the fifth and final entry in the Planet of the Apes series, Battle for the Planet of the Apes, directed by J. Lee Thompson and starring Roddy McDowall, Claude Akins, Natalie Trundy, John Huston, and Paul Williams, was released on this date.



Roddy McDowall and Natalie Trundy are the only cast members to appear in four of the five original Planet of the Apes movies. McDowall appeared in all except the first sequel Beneath the Planet of the Apes, unless you include the flashback at the beginning for which he received an uncredited appearance. Natalie Trundy did not appear in the Planet of the Apes, but appeared in all four sequels. McDowall also starred in the television series Planet of the Apes. William Beckley (the British newscaster on Escape From the Planet of the Apes) and Woodrow Parfrey (Dr. Maximus on Planet of the Apes) both appeared as chimpanzees on the series' pilot, and Bobby Porter (Cornelius on this film) appeared as a young chimp on two episodes (the pilot being one of them).


June 14, 1983 -
The BBC comedy series The Black Adder starring Rowan Atkinson and Tony Robinson premiered on this date.



Rowan Atkinson has a stutter, which causes him to struggle with the letter 'B.' He has to visualise the letter before he says it - which is why he puts extra emphasis on words containing that letter. Eg Bob. Later he created the character Mr. Bean for this reason.


June 15, 1989 -
Nirvana's debut album, Bleach, was released, on this date.



The album Bleach initially sold about 35,000 copies, which was pretty good for an Indie band and got them signed to a major label. The album eventually sold over 1 million copies, as many Nirvana fans bought it after Cobain died. The album cost about $600 to produce. They got the title from a public service campaign in San Francisco that urged intravenous drug users to "Bleach Your Works," meaning to clean their needles with bleach so they would not spread the AIDS virus.


June 15, 1990 -
Warren Beatty's take on the comic strip detective, Dick Tracy, opened on this date.



Warren Beatty originally wanted Bob Fosse to direct, but Fosse turned him down. Martin Scorsese was also a fan of the comic strip and considered directing at one point, but he lost interest and chose to make Goodfellas.


June 15, 1994 -
Disney's 32nd animated feature, The Lion King, opened in limited release in the US on this date.



A few weeks before the film opened, Elton John was given a special screening. Noticing that the film's love song had been left out, he successfully lobbied Jeffrey Katzenberg to have the song put back in. Later, "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" won him an Academy Award for Best Original Song.


June 15, 2007 -
Bob Barker's final episode as the host of The Price is Right airs on this date.



Barker himself took it all in stride. He mentioned less about the occasion than he did for his 6,000th show. His final sign off at the close of the show: “Folks, I want to thank you very, very much for inviting me into your homes for the last fifty years. I am deeply grateful.” Then, with his signature touch, he added “Please remember: help control the pet population, have your pet spayed or neutered. Goodbye!


Another job posting from the ACME Employment Agency


Today in History:
June 15, 1215 -
King John was forced by all the English Barons to sign the Magna Carta, which asserted the supremacy of the law over the king, at Runnymede, England on this date.



The Magna Carta (the Great Charter) was adopted and sealed by the King at Runnymede, England, granting his barons more liberty.


June 15, 1330 -
So much history over unsupported hosiery:

King Edward III was a famous English king, celebrated for his invention of manners and discovery of the economy. He played tennis, and once famously rebuked the King of France for having sent him his balls in a box.



King Edward established the Order of the Garter because he was what English nobles referred to as a "leg man." (It was he who also famously remarked, Honi soit qui mal y pense, or Honey, show us some cheesecake.)

King Edward had many sons, one of whom was born on June 15, 1330. This son he named Prince Edward. Though white at birth, he eventually became England's first Black Prince.

Prince Edward eventually married Joan of Kent. In her youth, Joan had been known as the Fairly Made because she was so fat; in later years she was referred to as Chubster and Lardass, though seldom to her face.



At the age of sixteen, Prince Edward and his father the king led the English against the French at Crecy, in order to start the 100 Years War. There were many more French than English, but the English had the advantage of the Long Boa. The French were powerless against this innovation. Ten years later, the English and French took the field again, this time at Poitiers. The French had learned from experience, and tried to counter the English Long Boa with their own Very Large Scarf. They failed. The English took France's King John prisoner and ransomed him for half a million pounds (250 tons). Prince Edward was kind to the French king, however, and prayed with him, which proved that the apple had not fallen far from the tree. (Edward was also a legman.)

By now he had become the Black Prince.



In recognition of his prowess, the Black Prince was made the ruler of Aquitaine in 1362. When some of the French rebelled at Limoges in 1370, he had all 3000 inhabitants killed. This resulted in peace. The Black Prince died before he could succeed to the throne, thereby losing the opportunity to become England's first Black King.



Edward and Joan had two children. One was Edward, who died in infancy and was therefore ineligible to be king. The other was Richard, also known as Richard II, who succeeded to the throne only to abdicate in favor of Henry IV, Part 1. Following Henry IV Parts 1 and 2 came Henry V, then Henry VI parts 1, 2 and 3, and then finally Richard III.

This kept William Shakespeare busy for many years.

(Hopefully you've taken notes, this will be on the test.)


June 15, 1409 -
Petros Philargos was elected Pope Alexander V by the Council of Pisa on this date in 1409. This poses a certain amount of difficulty and increased the amount of Papal Bull, as there already was a Pope in Rome, Gregory XII, and another in Avignon, Benedict XII. Ultimately, none of the three was willing to step down, leading the Chuch into a double schism.



This made papal dispensations a drug on the market.


June 15, 1520 -
Pope Leo X (no relation to Malcolm or Generation) threatened to excommunicate Martin Luther with a papal bull, on this date. (Luther was officially excommunicated on January 3rd, 1521.)

Pope Leo X is famous for his use of papal bulls although not quite as famous (and we know it's not true) as Catherine the Great was for her use of horses (I'm really sorry that I made that joke.)


June 15,1667 -
Dr. Jean-Baptiste Denys, the personal physician to Louis XIV, performed the first blood transfusion in history on this date. He performed the transfusion on a fifteen year old boy, using blood drawn from the severed neck of a sheep.

While the experiment was considered a success (the boy died?), it was clearly a disappointment if you were rooting for the sheep.


June 15, 1752 -
Benjamin Franklin and his son tested the relationship between electricity and lightning by flying a kite in a thunder storm on this date (or some other date, don't forget Mr. Franklin was a member of the notorious Hellfire Club.) There is no record on how much the Franklins drank earlier that day.

This now proved the famous theory that lightning is some powerful sh*t.


June 15, 1785 -
Jean-François Pilâtre de Rozier died during an attempted crossing of the English Channel when his balloon, a combination hydrogen and hot air balloon, exploded on this date.

Thus, he and his companion, Pierre Romain, became the first known victims of an air crash. The term "pilot" is sometimes erroneously thought to derive from his first name, Pilatre.


June 15, 1859
-
The Great Pig War (aka the San Juan Boundary Dispute) between the US and UK/Canada begun in June of 1859, lasted 12 whole years and was started over a very hungry pig. At maximum belligerence, the order of battle included 2,600 ground troops, five powerful ships of the line, and nearly a hundred cannon.



But fortunately, the combatants never actually got around to doing much combatting. In fact, the only recorded injury was a Royal Marine who got hit in the eye by a rock thrown from the American trenches. He was shipped to a nearby military hospital, recuperated, and eventually rejoined his unit. Most of the opposing troops' energies were spent sneaking across the lines to each other's outposts - to play cards, swap stories, and to trade American tobacco and fresh food for navy rum swiped from the British quartermaster's stores. The Americans invited the British to celebrate 4th of July with them, while the yanks would visit the British for Victoria’s birthday celebrations. The biggest threat to peace at this time was the enormous amount of alcohol, as well as shady suppliers, that appeared on the island.



The two forces waited until finally, in 1872, all of the two nations’ remaining squabbles were brought out into the open. One by one all the border grievances remaining were addressed and (mostly) resolved, until eventually the focus fell on San Juan Island. It was decided that because the two nations both insisted on stubbornly claiming the land, the fate of the island would be decided by international arbitration, with no other than Kaiser Wilhem I of Germany to act as arbitrator.

All wars should be fought like this.


June 15, 1904 -
The General Slocum worked as a passenger ship, taking people on excursions around New York City. On this date, the ship had been chartered for $350 by the St. Mark's Evangelical Lutheran Church in the German district Little Germany, Manhattan. This was an annual rite for the group, which had made the trip for 17 consecutive years. Over 1,300 passengers, mostly women and children, boarded the General Slocum. It was to sail up the East River and then eastward across Long Island Sound to Locust Grove, a picnic site in Eatons Neck, Long Island. It caught fire and burned to the water line in New York's East River.



More than 1,000 people died in the accident, making it New York City's worst loss-of-life disaster until the September 11, 2001 attacks.


June 15, 1921 -
Bessie Coleman was the first woman of African-American and Native-American descent to hold a pilot license. She earned her license from France's Caudron Brother's School of Aviation in just several months after starting at the school, on this date.



Coleman became a high profile pilot in notoriously dangerous air shows in the United States. Popularly known as Queen Bess and Brave Bessie, she died in a plane crash in 1926 while testing a new aircraft.


June 15, 1955 -
Duck and cover, people.



The Eisenhower administration stages the first annual OPAL exercise. In the Operation Alert drill, air raid sirens blare across America to assess our preparations for a nuclear attack.


June 15, 1992 -
What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. - Dan Quayle



Vice President Dan Quayle, relying on a faulty flash card, erroneously instructed a Trenton, N.J., elementary school student to spell "potato" as "potatoe" during a spelling bee.

Clearly, how true that is.



And so it goes.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You fucking producers, indeed