Zissen Pesach

Passover starts tonight - please bone up on those four questions.







Remember you will not be graded on a curve!



While it's not as bad as not finding the missing easter egg, by all means, please find the Afikoman, (no one wants to accidentally eat a piece of exceptionally stale cracker.)


When you woke up this morning, one of your first thoughts probably was probably, Will there be a new tax on tacks?. Don't worry, you'll know soon enough. But anyway, it's April (again.)

April is National Poetry Month

It is a cruel month - usually mixing memory with tax payments (hopefully you've heard that you have to file your taxes by Wednesday, April 15, this year.) April was the second month in an early Roman calendar, but became the fourth when the ancient Romans started using January as the first month. The Romans called the month Aprilis. It may come from a word meaning 'to open', or it may come from Aphrodite, the Greek name for the goddess of love or it may come from the word meaning 'month that used to be second but now is fourth



Please opine upon this as you think about Vice PresidentJ.D. Vance and his beard

Small animals that hibernate are usually coming out of their burrows in April. The birds fly back northward or they settle down to have their families. Small Jewish people usually fly northwards from Miami to spend the holidays with their mishpocha. The bees and butterflies begin to gather nectar from the first flowers of the season.



In some parts of the world, it's planting time. In other parts, it's the harvest season. And yet in other places, it's the sanity that follows March Madness. Professional baseball begins in April. Then the amateur athletes begin to go outside in the warm weather. Spring cleaning starts and people start mowing their yards again.



Unlike most other non-foolish holidays, the history of April Fool's Day, sometimes called All Fool's Day, is not entirely clear. There isn't a specific "first April Fool's Day" that can be pinpointed on the calendar. Some believe it evolved simultaneously in several cultures from celebrations involving the first day of spring.



The closest point in time that can be identified as the beginning of this tradition dates back to 1582 in France. Before that year, the new year was celebrated for eight days, starting on March 25, with the celebrations culminating on April 1. However, with the reform of the calendar under Charles IX, the Gregorian Calendar was introduced, moving New Year's Day to January 1.



Communications being what they were in the days when news traveled by foot, many people did not receive the news for several years. Others, the more obstinate crowd, refused to accept the new calendar and continued to celebrate New Year's Day on April 1. These "backward" folk were labeled as "fools" by the general populace. They were subject to ridicule and often sent on "fool's errands" or became the butt of other practical jokes.



Over time, this harassment evolved into a tradition of prank-playing on the first day of April. The custom eventually spread to England and Scotland in the eighteenth century and was later introduced to the American colonies by both the English and the French. Thus, April Fool's Day developed into an international fun fest, with different nationalities specializing in their own brand of humor at the expense of their friends and families.



In Scotland, for example, April Fool's Day is actually celebrated for two days. The second day is devoted to pranks involving the posterior region of the body and is called Taily Day. The origin of the "kick me" sign can be traced back to this observance.

Mexico's counterpart to April Fool's Day is observed on December 28. Originally, this day was a solemn remembrance of the slaughter of the innocent children by King Herod, but it eventually evolved into a lighter commemoration involving pranks and trickery.

Pranks performed on April Fool's Day range from the simple (such as saying, "Your shoe's untied!") to the elaborate. Setting a roommate's alarm clock back an hour is a common gag. Whatever the prank, the trickster usually finishes by yelling to their victim, "April Fool!" In Scotland, it usually ends with sodomy.



Practical jokes are a common practice on April Fool's Day, with some elaborate ones played on friends or relatives that last the entire day. Even the news media gets involved. For instance, a British short film once shown on April Fool's Day was a fairly detailed documentary about "spaghetti farmers" and how they harvest their crop from spaghetti trees.



Happy April Fools, everybody!


Today is also the non-denominational the Feast of St. Stupid's day.

here is the history of St. Stupid, directly from the font of all knowledge - Wikipedia:

... According to legend, St. Stupid was the son of a codpiece. It is also told that he had not one mother, but thousands. Wherever a country lass was deceived by a traveling player, wherever a child of questionable parentage was born, St. Stupid was there. He was a clever child who played the fool from an early age. He did not speak until he was in puberty, although he was able from the time he was two. He delighted in confounding and confusing his fellow beings. He did rock imitations. He slept with the chickens and crowed with the roosters. He traveled over most of the known world and much of the unknown world, creating mischief wherever he went. At times he attracted others and together they put on dumb shows where they confounded and swindled their audiences....



The annual parade celebrating the venerable saint, held in San Francisco, will be held this afternoon.


Today is also Take Down Tobacco National Day of Action. What used to be known as as Kick Butts Day, is a day of activism that empowers young people to speak out against the tobacco industry.



It has been organized by the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids since 1996.


April 1, 1930 -
Josef von Sternberg's Der Blaue Engel (The Blue Angel), starring unknown German actress, Marlene Dietrich, premiered in Berlin on this date.



Marlene Dietrich's screen test for this film survives. In it, she upbraids an unidentified piano player for his bad playing and sings two songs, the first of which is "You're the Cream In My Coffee."


April 1, 1949 -
The film noir drama Impact, directed by Arthur Lubin, and starring Brian Donlevy, Ella Raines, Charles Coburn, Helen Walker, Anna May Wong, Tony Barrett, and William Wright, went into general release in the U.S. on this date.



Helen Walker and Ella Raines, who were born less than a month apart, were 19 years younger than Brian Donlevy. Walker was only four years younger than Tony Barrett. In a case of life mirroring art, Donlevy, though older than Barrett, outlived him. Barrett died in 1974 at age 58 from cancer, while Donlevy died in 1972 at age 71 from throat cancer. Walker also died from cancer at a young age, 47, in 1968. Raines lived to age 68, passing away in 1988. Like Donlevy, she died from throat cancer.


April 1, 1950 -
The fourth and final cartoon to feature Beaky Buzzard, Strife with Father, directed by Robert McKimson, debuted on this date.



When Beaky's father says "If I were King...", Beaky responds "That's no King...that's Monty". This was also meant as a reference to then British Viscount Sir Bernard Law Montgomery (commonly called Monty).


April 1, 1960 -
The Merrie Melodies short Person to Bunny directed by Friz Freleng and starring Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd, debuted on this date.



This is the final cartoon to have Arthur Q. Bryan as the voice of Elmer Fudd, as well as his final role in acting (not counting archival footage) before his death in November of 1959.


April 1, 1976 -
Five years after the infamous trial, CBS premiered a made-for-television movie Helter Skelter, about the Charles Manson Family murders, on this date.



Steve Railsback received so much critical acclaim for his portrayal of Charles Manson that major movie studios later offered him several roles as villains and killers in theatrically-released movies. Fearing typecasting, Railsback turned most of the offers down. The only villainous character on which Railsback regrets passing was that of Joshua in Lethal Weapon , a role that ultimately went to Gary Busey.


April 1, 1978 -
Tonight was the last time you could play the original version of the game, 'Hi Bob' because the final episode of The Bob Newhart Show aired on this date.



Over the course of the series, the phrase, "Hi, Bob" was said 256 times. Howard Borden (Bill Daily) said it a total of 118 times. Dr. Jerry Robinson (Peter Bonerz) logged 43. Carol Kester (Marcia Wallace): 36 times and Emily Hartley (Suzanne Pleshette): 17 times. Minor characters or guest stars said it 43 times, and Bob Hartley (Bob Newhart) even said it once himself.


April 1, 1989 -
The Bangles hit single Eternal Flame, riose to the top of the Billboard Charts on this date. Less than six months later, the band broke up. (Such is life.)



The Bangles announced their breakup on September 21, 1989, less than six months after Eternal Flame topped the US charts. The group was filled with creative tension and feeling generally overwhelmed. When Hoffs and bass player Michael Steele didn't attend Debbi Peterson's wedding in the summer of 1989, it was clear their relationship was beyond repair. The split came when Hoffs told her bandmates she was leaving to pursue a solo career, which she did.


April 1, 2007 -
Showing her very acute sense of irony, Alanis Morissette transforms the Black Eyed Peas' song My Humps into a mournful piano ballad for an April Fools' Day prank.



The accompanying music video debuts on YouTube on this date and became a viral sensation, garnering millions of views.


Another episode of ACME's Little Known Animal Facts


Today in History:
April 1, 78 -
Roman scientist Gaius Brutus Caellus produced the first alkaline battery on this date. No practical use could be discovered for his invention, as it would be nineteen full centuries before the advent of cordless vibrator, it became a mere academic curiosity.

It was gradually forgotten until Alessandro Volta used writings about Caellus's novelty to invent the first "wet cell" battery in 1800.


April 1, 1865 –
Ordered to hold Five Forks, Confederate General George Pickett instead fought the "Waterloo of the Confederacy," and lost almost 3,000 troops on this date.



Oops


April 1, 1895 -
Alberta Hunter, blues singer, songwriter and nurse, was born on this date.



After the death of her mother in 1954, Ms. Hunter retired from the music industry and 'reinvented' herself', becoming a nurse working until the late 70s (my grand-aunt worked with her at the time.)



Coming out of her second retirement, Ms. Hunter accepted a 'two-week' engagement in a downtown NYC nightclub, The Cookery, that lasted almost six years (until shortly before her death.)


April 1, 1960 -
The world's first experimental weather satellite, TIROS-1, was launched on this date.



TIROS-I was operational for only 78 days, but proved extremely successful, providing the first accurate weather forecasts based on data gathered from space.


April 1, 1970 -
President Richard Nixon signs legislation officially banning cigarette ads on television and radio.



This act required cigarette manufacturers to place warning labels on their products that stated “Cigarette Smoking May be Hazardous to Your Health.”


On April 1, 1976, Max Ernst died. On April 2, he was born. This sort of contradictory behavior was typical of Ernst, one of the founders of the Dada movement.



The Dada movement’s central philosophy was haddock, and its importance has been pocketbook.


April 1, 1984 -
Legendary Motown singer Marvin Gaye, who had recently moved back in with his parents, physically battered his own father.



Minutes later Dad returns with a gun, shooting Marvin twice in the chest and killing him instantly (sorry but there's no funny jokes to make about this.)


April 1, 2004 -
Google launches Gmail, a free webmail and POP3 email service, as an invitation-only beta. The launch is initially met with wide-spread skepticism due to Google’s long-standing tradition of April Fool’s jokes.



Gmail differs from other services in that it ran as smoothly as any desktop application, largely thanks to the use of Ajax in its interface.



And so it goes.

Broken crayons still color

March 31 marks National Crayon Day. Crayola Crayons have been around for 123 years. The Crayola brand was born in 1903 when cousins Edwin Binney and C. Harold Smith released the their first crayon box with its eight-count box that was sold for only a nickel.



The average child will go through hundreds of crayons in a decade. Apparently, according to the intraweb, the unique smell of crayolas is created in large part by stearic acid, which is a derivative of beef tallow—more commonly known as beef fat. The ingredient is used to deliver a waxy consistency.

Who knew?


March 31, 1930 -
The Motion Pictures Production Code (popularly known as the Hays Code after its creator Will H.Hays) is instituted, imposing strict guidelines on the treatment of sex, crime, religion and violence in film for the next 38 years



While the Code to Govern the Making of Talking, Synchronized and Silent Motion Pictures was published in 1930, it was not rigidly enforced until 1934 following more threats of censorship by the Federal Government and the widespread threats of Catholic boycotts of immoral movies. The studios granted MPPDA full authority to enforce the Production Code on all studios.


March 31, 1943 -
Ronald Walken, possibly the most imitated actor in America, was born on this date.



In his almost 40 years career in film, he has acted in well over 90 films. He rarely turns down a part, under the belief that making movies (whether they turn out good or bad) is always a rewarding experience.


March 31, 1953 -
Stanley Kubrick's first feature film, a war drama titled Fear and Desire, premiered in New York on this date.



Stanley Kubrick disowned the film soon after it's release and wanted to make sure it was never seen again by not re-releasing the print. What he didn't know was that Kodak when making the print had a policy of making an extra print for their archives


March 31, 1957 -
The original version of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella, starring Julie Andrews, aired live in color on CBS on this date (only black-and-white kinescopes exist today.)



The only production of the Rodgers and Hammerstein version to be telecast while Oscar Hammerstein was still alive. He died in 1960, five years before the second television production of the musical was telecast.


March 31, 1960 -
The family comedy Please Don't Eat the Daisies, directed by Charles Walters, and starring Doris Day, David Niven, Janis Paige, Spring Byington, Richard Haydn, Patsy Kelly, and Jack Weston, debuted on this date.



Based on the best-selling autobiographical book of the same name, written by Jean Kerr, wife of powerful New York theatre critic Walter Kerr. For this film adaptation, characters' names were changed, but the bulk of the comic incidents seen here are from Kerr's memoir.


March 31, 1975 -
The TV show Gunsmoke, which premiered in 1955, aired its last original episode on this date.



The show was canceled in September of the previous year. According to James Arness, the cancellation caught them by surprise. The cast and crew were expecting the series to go at least three more years.


March 31, 1983 -
All good things must come to an end: the sixth and final Monty Python film featuring all six member of the troupe before Graham Chapman's death in 1989, Monty Python's The Meaning of Life premiered in the US on this date.



Sensitive to the young actors in the Every Sperm is Sacred scene, Michael Palin actually says "those little rubber things on the end of my sock." The word "cock" was dubbed in later. The kids who sang in the sketch later said they had no idea what they were singing about.


March 31, 1987 –
20 minutes into the future, US network television’s very first cyberpunk series, Max Headroom premiered on ABC-TV, on this date.



According to the first episode, the name "Max Headroom" came about when Edison Carter was fleeing from security guards on a motorcycle, and he ran into a parking garage exit gate labeled MAX HEADROOM. While he was in a coma his memory was downloaded into a computer by Bryce Lynch and the computer-generated personality chose this to be its new name.


March 31, 1989 -
The black comedy Heathers directed by Michael Lehmann, and starring Winona Ryder, Christian Slater, Shannen Doherty, Lisanne Falk, Kim Walker and Penelope Milford, opened in the U.S. on this date.



Originally, the book that suicidal students supposedly underline "meaningful" passages from was The Catcher in the Rye. The producers could not get permission from J.D. Salinger to use the book. It was changed to Moby Dick because Herman Melville's works are in the public domain.


March 31, 1994 -
Madonna appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman on this date. She dropped the f-bomb more than a dozen times, exchanged less- than-friendly barbs with Dave and then stubbornly refused to leave the set.



This made the episode the most censored in American network television talk-show history; it also resulted in some of the highest ratings of Letterman's late-night career.



The extra credit question, who was the musical guest that evening? - Counting Crows.


March 31, 2000 -
Stephen Frears' adaptation of Nick Hornsby novel, High Fidelity, starring John Cusack, Jack Black, Lisa Bonet, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Joan Cusack, and Tim Robbins and featuring a cameo by Bruce Springsteen, went into general release in the US on this date.



John Cusack and the screenwriters wrote the script with Jack Black in mind for the role of Barry. He nearly turned the role down, but reconsidered.


Today's moment of Zen.


Today in History:
March 31 1492 - (This tidbit is brought to you by Cerveza Alhambra -

the Irony of Bottled Beer!)
With the issuance of the Alhambra Decree on this date, King Ferdinand and Queen Isabel expel all of the Jews from Spain, except those willing to convert to Christianity. Even with the infusions of gold and silver arriving during the 16th century from the Americas, this is an act from which Spain never recovered.



By expelling their merchant and banking class, Jews and Muslims, the country was left ill-equipped to process the new wealth, which ultimately winds up in the coffers of other countries and squandered on disastrous military campaigns.

I guess that didn't quite go the way they had planned.


March 31, 1811 -
Robert Bunsen, whose name we associate with the burner, was a 19th-century German chemist of some renown, was born on this date. He worked on explosive organic arsenic compounds--leading to the loss of one eye--and, later, on gases from volcanoes, geysers and blast furnaces.



With Gustav Kirchhoff, he contributed to our understanding of the meaning of spectra lines. (He also gained note for not bathing--one woman of polite society remarked that Bunsen was so charming that she would like to kiss him, but she would have to wash him first.)


March 31, 1889 –
French engineer Gustave Eiffel unfurled the French tricolor from atop the Eiffel Tower, officially marking its completion on this date - but its history, as we all know, dates back to Gallic times.



Documents that have been carbon-dated to roughly 200 B.C. indicate that King Catatonix of the Hellatians decreed, for no apparent reason, the construction of a big tower on the very site where the Eiffel Tower stands today.

In Caesar’s Reflections on the Garlic Wars, the Roman general Julius Caesar reminisces about having found “a curious wooden tower, tall and strange.” Baffled by this peculiar cultural monolith—and never happy to be baffled—he burned it to the ground.

Some four centuries later, with the Western Roman Empire in collapse, wild-eyed Gallic nationalists rebuilt the tower using cheese instead of wood. They called it La Grande Fromage, from which we get the expression “The Big Cheese.”

During subsequent invasions by and entanglements with Normans, Saxons, Angles, Ostrogoths, Visigoths, and Lolligoths, the tower was repeatedly destroyed and rebuilt, always for no apparent reason. It had become, by now, a sort of habit—a national obsessive-compulsive disorder.

René Descartes was born on March 31, 1596. Descartes said that he existed because he thought, and although he said it in Latin, everyone still had to admit that it looked as though Reason had finally entered the world.



Therefore, the Franks (who now called themselves the French, primarily to irritate Germany) lost interest in the tower and, at last, abandoned the effort.

Unfortunately, in 1870 German chancellor Otto von Bismarck defeated the French army in a Sedan and laid siege to Paris. This made the French lose their heads (see also the French Revolution). They forgot all about Reason and made Gustave Eiffel build a Tower, this time using steel, which was stronger than cheese and not quite as flammable as wood. It stands to this day, a proud monument French culture, without which we would not have Champagne, Brie, Brigitte Bardot, or Marcel Proust.


March 31, 1948 -
The US Congress passed the Marshall Plan to rebuild war-torn Europe after World War II, on this date.



Recognizing the need for economic stability on the continent, former Army Chief of Staff George Marshall responded to the high unemployment and food shortages with an initiative that provided $13 billion in aid to 18 European countries, and gave each country a role in creating its own plans for recovery.


March 31, 1959 -
The Dalai Lama was forced to leave Tibet, after the Red Communists (Evil Bastards) make it very unpleasant for him to stay, on this date.



He accuses the Chinese of making genocide against the Tibetan people, by systematic destruction of Tibetan culture and execution of thousands of prominent citizens (At the rate I'm going, I'll be lucky to get takeout delivered to my house.)


March 31, 1967 -
At the Finsbury Park Astoria Theatre in London, Jimi Hendrix sets fire to his guitar for the first time, and goes to the hospital after the show with minor burns.



Hendrix didn't set any more guitars literally on fire on that tour, although he would repeat the stunt during his band's legendary performance at the Monterey International Pop Music Festival a few months later.


March 31, 1968 -
In a televised speech to the nation on this date, President Lyndon B. Johnson announced a partial halt of bombing missions over North Vietnam and proposed peace talks.



Citing national divisions over the war in Vietnam, President Johnson also announced that he would not run for re-election. The stock market soared the next day.


March 31, 1995 -
The president of the Selena Fan Club, Yolanda Saldivar, killed the Tejano music popstar Selena in Corpus Christi, TX. "It just went off, I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to kill anybody".



That might be true, but the jury did not believe her.

Remember folks, never let a crazy fan with a gun license and bad credit be the head of your fan club.



And so it goes.

And you wonder why you're tired alll the time

We travel 2.5 million km a day around the Sun without realizing it.



The Earth’s orbit travels around 2.5 million kilometres with respect to the Sun’s center, and around 19 million km with respect to the center of the Milky Way.


March 29, 1941 -
A very rarely seen Merrie Melodies cartoon (due it it's racial stereotypes), Confederate Honey, directed by Friz Freleng, and starring Elmer Fudd, debuted on this date.



This cartoon was originally planned to be an Egghead cartoon directed by Ben Hardaway and Cal Dalton. However, when Friz Freleng returned after leaving from MGM, the cartoon was taken over by him, who decided to use the Elmer Fudd character instead.


March 30, 1964 -
This game show is celebrating its' 61th anniversary on this date? Pens down.



Merv Griffin's game show Jeopardy! made its debut on television. He sold the rights for the show to Coca-Cola for $250 million in 1986. The show was hosted by Art Fleming until 1975. It resurfaced in syndication in 1984 with Alex Trebek as host.



(Imagine the contestants fighting to play Celestical Jeopardy with Alex Trebek now.)


March 30, 1966 -
Barbra Streisand's second television special, Color Me Barbra aired on CBS-TV, on this date.



The concert was one of the first to be filmed in color. The technology was so new that when two of the three cameras broke immediately prior to the show, there were no parts available to repair them.


March 30, 1967 -
The Beatles visited Michael Cooper's London photographic studio on this date and shot the most iconic album cover ever created.



The cover of Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band was designed by Peter Blake and put together by Peter Blake and Jann Haworth, who painstakingly combed through hundreds of photos for months before the photo shoot. (Kids, remember, this was all done before Photoshop.)


March 30, 1974
The pilot movie for the long-running series Little House on the Prairie, starring Michael Landon, Karen Grassle, Melissa Gilbert, Melissa Sue Anderson, and Lindsay and Sidney Greenbush, first aired on NBC, on this date.



Adapted for television by screenwriter Blanche Hanalis. She would continue to receive a front line "Developed For Television" credit in every episode of the series, although she had no further involvement with the show beyond her pilot script. Michael Landon was dissatisfied with Hanalis' script and wanted to do a re-write but was prevented from doing so by NBC.


March 30, 1981 -
Hugh Hudson's historical drama about the 1924 Olympics, Chariots of Fire, starring Ben Cross and Ian Charleson premiered in London on this date.



When Colin Welland completed his first draft, the only title he could think of was Runners. Then, one Sunday evening he turned on BBC's religious music series Songs of Praise, featuring the hymn Jerusalem, with lyrics from a poem by William Blake. The chorus including the words "Bring me my chariot of fire". The writer leapt up to his feet and shouted to his wife, "I've got it, Pat! 'Chariots of Fire'!"


March 30, 1985 -
Phil Collins scores his second #1 hit as a solo artist with One More Night on this date. The track was taken from his third album, No Jacket Required.



Being a drummer at heart, it's not surprising that Collins started this song on a drum machine. He explained to Playboy that he was playing around with the machine when inspiration hit: "I had a tempo in mind. I was thinking of one of the Jacksons' songs actually when I strung a chorus on it. The line 'one more night' just fit what I was playing. The rest of the song was written very quickly."


Word of the Day.


Today in History:
March 30, 315 -
The Donation of Constantine grants to the See of Rome dominion over all earthly thrones of Europe, a document made by the Roman Emperor Constantine I after his conversion to Christianity in return for being cured from leprosy (it was the least he could do after avoiding his nose falling off his face).



But in 1440, anachronisms in the document prove that it was really a fraud written around 752 AD, during the reign of and under orders of Pope Stephen II and the Frankish king Charlemagne (more about him later).


March 30 1282 -
After vespers on Easter Monday, a French sergeant named Drouet touched the breast of a young Sicilian bride, causing an outrage that precipitated the slaughter of perhaps 2,000 Frenchmen living and ruling over Sicily.

Lesson here: don't cop a feel of someone else wife after church, especially if they're Sicilian.



One of Giuseppe Verdi's (Joe Green) most musically acclaimed operas, Les Vêpres Siciliennes is based on this conflict.


March 30, 1840 -
Fashions come and go; Bad taste is timeless.



George Bryan Beau Brummell, English dandy and former favorite of the prince regent, died of syphilis in a French lunatic asylum for paupers.

(I hate when that happens.)


March 30, 1853 -
Vincent Van Gogh was born on this date. Exactly 134 years later to the very day, his painting Sunflowers sold for $39.7 million.



Van Gogh’s life was full of such eary coincidences.


March 30, 1856 -
(In case this comes up) Russia signed the Treaty of Paris ending the Crimean War on this date. It guaranteed the integrity of Ottoman Turkey and obliged Russia to surrender southern Bessarabia, at the mouth of the Danube.



The Black Sea was neutralized, and the Danube River was opened to the shipping of all nations.


March 30, 1858 -
Hymen Lipman was granted a patent (U.S. patent No. 19,783) for creating the first wood-cased pencil with an attached rubber eraser, revolutionizing classrooms and art studios alike.



Unfortunately, the patent was later revoked by the Supreme Court when it was challenged by a German firm, Faber-Castell, that attached the eraser using a metal ferrule. Lipman invented neither the pencil nor the eraser, he simply combined the two so the invention was considered invalid.

So now you know.


March 30, 1863 -
OK bunkies, it's your favorite topic - life among the those wacky inbred royals.

Danish prince Wilhelm Georg was chosen as King George of Greece on this date.

King George I is the great-grandfather of the late Prince Philip, yes that gadabout Greek sailor who lived in London. Kids, now follow this: Philip and his lovely wife Elizabeth are second cousins once removed: they are both descended from Christian IX of Denmark - Elizabeth II is a great-granddaughter through her paternal great-grandmother Alexandra of Denmark, and the Duke is a great-grandson through his paternal grandfather George I of Greece.

As well as second cousins once removed, the couple are also third cousins: they share Queen Victoria as a great-great-grandmother. Elizabeth's great-grandfather was Edward VII, while Edward's sister Alice, Grand Duchess of Hesse and by Rhine was the Duke's great-grandmother. All of this was probably painfully obvious to them on their wedding day as everyone assembled to witness their wedding was related to one another and could only be seated with a convoluted flow chart.



Queen Elizabeth, mother of Queen Elizabeth, (The Queen Mother) finally realized how closely related her daughter and son-in-law actually were, promptly died on this date, in 2002.

So goes love amongst the royals and hillbillies.


On March 30, 1870, the U.S. Congress readmitted Texas to the Union. Texas is the only state in the Union whose name is an anagram for taxes. Texas had been naughty and seceded in 1861, but they said they were sorry and promised never to do it again.



Congress didn’t think they really meant it, but let them back in anyway, after making Texas write "I will not secede from the union" 500 times".

Conclude this paragraph with the Texaphobic slur or Texaphiliac slogan of your choice.


March 30, 1909 -

The Queensboro Bridge (originally known as Blackwell's Island Bridge, affectionately known as the 59th St. Bridge, now known as the Edward I. Koch Bridge,) the first double-decker bridge, opened and linked the New York boroughs of Manhattan and Queens on this date.



The Simon and Garfunkel song Feelin' Groovy uses the bridge as its namesake.


March 30, 1954 -
Canada's first subway line, Toronto's Yonge line opened on date.



Built by the publicly owned TTC (Toronto Transportation Commission, now Toronto Transit Commission) between 1949 and 1954, it was the beginning of postwar Toronto's effort to accommodate the demands of the city's prosperity and its future.


March 30, 1968 -
Two children playing in a deserted East Village tenement at 371 East 10th St come across the body of a homeless drug addict later identified as Bobby Driscoll (the patron saint of child actors gone wrong), 31, the first actor Walt Disney put under contract and the voice of Disney's Peter Pan, on this date.



So I guess he really wouldn't grow up.


March 30, 1972 -
Royal Canadian Navy sailors were issued their very last daily rum ration on this date, (the Britain's Royal Navy stopped issuing rum rations on July 31, 1970.)



This left them with merely the lash and sodomy. There are no reports on how that's working out for them, although rumors abound that this was the sticking point on Brexit.


March 30, 1979 -
Norah Jones (nee Geetali Norah Shankar) was born in New York City, on this date. Her father is the Indian sitar player Ravi Shankar, but Norah never lives with him.



Raised by her mom, the concert promoter Sue Jones, she grows up in Texas before venturing back to New York to pursue music in 1999.


March 30, 1981 -
President Ronald Reagan was shot and wounded by John W. Hinckley Jr. outside the Washington Hilton Hotel on this date. Press Sec. James Brady was also shot as was Secret Service agent Tim McCarthy and District of Columbia police officer Thomas Delahanty.



While President Reagan underwent surgery for a life-threatening gunshot wound, Secretary of State Alexander Haig announced to the press: "As of now, I am in control here, in the White House, pending return of the Vice President."



As bloodless coups go, it was a brilliant though short-lived one.


March 30, 1993 -
Charlie Brown (very uncharacteristically) hit a game winning home run on this date.

The pitcher on the opposing team - Royetta Hobbs.



And so it goes.