Today is the Thursday of Mysteries

Also known as Maundy Thursday. It's also known as Holy Thursday, Sheer Thursday (as in to cleanse or "sheer off" sin), Covenant Thursday, and Great and Holy Thursday, A day with many names, each pointing to something sacred, ancient, and deeply human.

This day commemorates the Last Supper - Jesus' final meal with his disciples before his arrest. It’s the origin of the Eucharist and the commandment to love one another as He has loved us ("mandatum," the Latin root of Maundy, means command).

Among the other things going on remember: don't go to a dinner party with 12 other people -



This evening begins the Easter Triduum, (aka Holy Triduum, Paschal Triduum, or The Three Days,) the period of three days that begins with the liturgy on the evening of Holy Thursday and ends with Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday.

Today is a big confessional day - If you are so intent on reading about my misspent youth as an altar boy, read here.


According to the Nation Peanut Board, Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwiches are good for the planet.



A 2002 survey showed the average American will have eaten 2,500 of these sandwiches before graduating from high school.

Today is Peanut Butter and Jelly Day. Peanut Butter and Jelly Day celebrates the most popular sandwich in America! Studies show that there is a 75% chance that if you drop a slice of peanut buttered bread, it will fall face down.



Enjoy every sandwich bunkies.


On this day, April 2, 1902, Tally's Electric Theatre was established in downtown Los Angeles as the first theater built only for motion pictures.



Moving pictures had been seen in France and other parts of the U.S., but the Electric Theatre was the only theatre dedicated to showing moving pictures exclusively.


April 2, 1942 -
One of the (in)famous 'censored' Looney Tunes, Any Bonds Today?, was released on this date.



This movie stands as a testament to the rapid rise in popularity of Bugs Bunny. Only a year and a half earlier, Bugs had been introduced to the public in A Wild Hare and already the Treasury Department had commissioned a special Bugs film to sell war bonds.


April 2, 1948 -
I Taw a Putty Tat, another classic Sylvester and Tweety cartoon, premiered on this date.



Look for the first appearance of Hector the Bulldog.


April 2, 1966 -
The film based on Sister Luc-Gabrielle, a Belgian nun who had a #1 US hit with the French language song Dominique, The Singing Nun, starring Debbie Reynolds, opens in theaters.



Unfortunately, the lovable nun was a one-hit wonder whose life did not continue happily after her brief blush of chart success. After leaving the church for a full-time music career, she ran into heavy financial problems and eventually took her own life.


April 2, 1968 -
Stanley Kubrick's influential science-fiction film 2001: A Space Odyssey, premiered in Washington D.C. on this date.



The movie was not a financial success at first. MGM was planning to pull it back from theaters, but several theater owners persuaded them to keep showing the film. Many owners noticed increasing numbers of young adults attending the film. They were especially enthusiastic about watching the "Star Gate" sequence under the influence of psychedelic drugs. This helped the film to become a financial success.



Pink Floyd was at one point approached to perform music for the film. However they turned it down due to other commitments. Yet they retain a connection with the film: much like The Wizard of Oz and Dark Side of the Moon, it is said that Pink Floyd's song Echoes from the album Meddle can be perfectly synchronized with the Jupiter & Beyond the Infinite section of the film.

You figure out how much dope you have to smoke in order to make that work out.


April 2, 1971 -
The last episode of the Gothic soap opera Dark Shadows, which aired on ABC-TV, was shown on this date.



Due to the grueling five-shows-a-week schedule, the expense and the difficulty of video editing in those days, most scenes were shot in a single take. Actors and actresses routinely flubbed their lines and searched for the teleprompter, set pieces collapsed, props malfunctioned, crew members walked into shots, microphones and secondary cameras got in the way, and it all wound up being preserved, because the production team figured each episode would only be seen one time. Joan Bennett and Louis Edmonds are the only actors to appear in both the first and the last episodes of the series.


April 2, 1976 -
The war drama The Eagle Has Landed, directed by John Sturges, and starring Michael Caine, Donald Sutherland, Robert Duvall, Jenny Agutter, Donald Pleasence, Anthony Quayle, and Jean Marsh went into general release on this date.



In his autobiography, Michael Caine confessed to being somewhat disappointed with the end product: "The picture was being directed by the Hollywood old-timer John Sturges, and we were all very pleased that this illustrious veteran had agreed to direct our film. That is, until one day when I was talking to him between set-ups and he informed me that, now that he was older, he only ever worked to get the money to go fishing, which was his passion. Deep-sea fishing off Baja California, he added, which was very expensive. The moment the picture finished, he took the money and went. Producer Jack S. Wiener later told me that he never came back for the editing nor for any of the other post-production sessions that are where a director does some of his most important work. The picture wasn't bad, but I still get angry when I think of what it could have been with the right director. We had committed the old European sin of being impressed by someone - just because he came from Hollywood."


April 2, 1978 -
The popular series Dallas premiered on CBS-TV as a five week mini-series, on this date.



Most of the cast wore their own clothes during the pilot episode and subsequent installments of the first season instead of clothing from the studio wardrobe department.


April 2, 2006 -
Gnarls Barkley's Crazy makes history by becoming the UK's first-ever #1 single to top the chart solely on download sales.



Gnarls Barkley is producer Danger Mouse (Brian Burton) and vocalist Cee-Lo Green (Thomas Callaway). Danger Mouse produced The Gorillaz album Demon Days; Cee-Lo was in Goodie Mob. The name "Gnarls Barkley" is a play on "Charles Barkley," who is a Hall Of Fame basketball player and an outspoken commentator. The moniker came up in a conversation between Danger Mouse and some of his friends when they were throwing out weird ideas for band names.


Another little known Monopoly card


Today in History -
Back in the eighth century, countries had not yet been formally invented. That part of western Europe known today as France was simply called Frankland. This helped distinguish it from neighboring areas, such as Georgeland to the north and Hansland to the east. The Franks had allowed themselves to be ruled for several generations by the Merovingians. The Franks hoped that the Merovingians would someday make them a country - preferably France.

Unfortunately, the Merovingians had names like Merowig, Dagobert, and Childeric, and were therefore unlikely to produce a serious nation such as France, but more likely Luxembourg or Liechtenstein.

Working directly beneath the kings of the Merovingian line, however, was a family that had been increasing its power and influence in the Frankish court for several generations. These were the descendants of Arnulf, and they were much more serious than the flaky Merovingians.

The Arnulfians were all named either Pepin or Charles, and they all served as Mayors of the Palace. It wasn't much of a title, but it allowed them to siphon power from the Merovingians until the kings had no power left at all.

The last Merovingian king was Childeric III. When he realized he was finally powerless - that the office of the Mayor of the Palace had usurped all the power of the monarchy - he became upset and refused to trim his whiskers.

He was shaved and sent off to live in a monastery.

The first Arnulfian king was Pepin the Short, son of Charles "the Hammer" Martel, son of Pepin the Easily Confused. Pepin the Short had two sons, Charles and Carloman. The boys were too young to have acquired official nicknames, but were almost certainly referred to affectionately as Chuckie and Carlo—possibly in that order.

King Pepin got the Pope's approval to be king and immediately afterward began exterminating Saracens. This was a favorite recreation of European royalty at the time. History is ambiguous about these so-called Saracens, who afflicted southern and eastern Europe during this period. They may have been an aggressive species of deer, fierce carnivorous birds, or even swarms of disease-carrying rodents. Some historians call them "Mussel-men" - presumably half-mussel, half-man. Such a monster is too terrible to imagine, especially if you like seafood. We know only that it was necessary to kill them, and that Pepin did this admirably.

Finally, he died.

Chuckie and Carlo divided Frankland between them until Carlo died, at which point Chuckie became king of everything.

It seemed inappropriate to call him Chuckie from that point forward, and so he came to be known as Big Chuck. As he got older, he became Charles the Great, and eventually, of course, he turned out to be Charlemagne.



He conquered a lot of territory, killed a lot of Saracens, and is often credited with the invention of France—or at least something that closely resembled it.

He was born on April 2. I forgot to mention that.


April 2, 1513 -
Spanish explorer Ponce de Leon landed on the coast of Florida on this day looking for the fabled "Fountain of Youth," (Fountains of Wayne hadn't formed as a group yet, so tickets would not have been on sale.)



The Captain exclaimed that he had discovered a new land and claimed it for Spain. This annoyed the native population almost immediately and Leon and his explorers made a hasty retreat to Cuba, though the territory remained officially the property of Spain until the 1800s.


April 2, 1917 -
The world must be made safe for democracy

108 years ago today, President Woodrow Wilson, delivered a speech before a joint session of Congress and recommended that a state of war be declared between the United States and the imperial German government.



Congress granted the request four days later, and the US entered World War I. Luckily, Mr. Wilson hadn't had his debilitating stroke yet - Mrs. Wilson was still working on throwing her voice.


April 2, 1992 -
The head of the Gambino crime family, John Gotti (known as the "Teflon Don" for his ability to avoid conviction,) was finally convicted on 13 counts that included murder and racketeering on this date.



Gotti was found guilty on all counts, and served out the rest of his life in jail.

Remember kids - For the wages of sin is death.



And so it goes.

Zissen Pesach

Passover starts tonight - please bone up on those four questions.







Remember you will not be graded on a curve!



While it's not as bad as not finding the missing easter egg, by all means, please find the Afikoman, (no one wants to accidentally eat a piece of exceptionally stale cracker.)


When you woke up this morning, one of your first thoughts probably was probably, Will there be a new tax on tacks?. Don't worry, you'll know soon enough. But anyway, it's April (again.)

April is National Poetry Month

It is a cruel month - usually mixing memory with tax payments (hopefully you've heard that you have to file your taxes by Wednesday, April 15, this year.) April was the second month in an early Roman calendar, but became the fourth when the ancient Romans started using January as the first month. The Romans called the month Aprilis. It may come from a word meaning 'to open', or it may come from Aphrodite, the Greek name for the goddess of love or it may come from the word meaning 'month that used to be second but now is fourth



Please opine upon this as you think about Vice PresidentJ.D. Vance and his beard

Small animals that hibernate are usually coming out of their burrows in April. The birds fly back northward or they settle down to have their families. Small Jewish people usually fly northwards from Miami to spend the holidays with their mishpocha. The bees and butterflies begin to gather nectar from the first flowers of the season.



In some parts of the world, it's planting time. In other parts, it's the harvest season. And yet in other places, it's the sanity that follows March Madness. Professional baseball begins in April. Then the amateur athletes begin to go outside in the warm weather. Spring cleaning starts and people start mowing their yards again.



Unlike most other non-foolish holidays, the history of April Fool's Day, sometimes called All Fool's Day, is not entirely clear. There isn't a specific "first April Fool's Day" that can be pinpointed on the calendar. Some believe it evolved simultaneously in several cultures from celebrations involving the first day of spring.



The closest point in time that can be identified as the beginning of this tradition dates back to 1582 in France. Before that year, the new year was celebrated for eight days, starting on March 25, with the celebrations culminating on April 1. However, with the reform of the calendar under Charles IX, the Gregorian Calendar was introduced, moving New Year's Day to January 1.



Communications being what they were in the days when news traveled by foot, many people did not receive the news for several years. Others, the more obstinate crowd, refused to accept the new calendar and continued to celebrate New Year's Day on April 1. These "backward" folk were labeled as "fools" by the general populace. They were subject to ridicule and often sent on "fool's errands" or became the butt of other practical jokes.



Over time, this harassment evolved into a tradition of prank-playing on the first day of April. The custom eventually spread to England and Scotland in the eighteenth century and was later introduced to the American colonies by both the English and the French. Thus, April Fool's Day developed into an international fun fest, with different nationalities specializing in their own brand of humor at the expense of their friends and families.



In Scotland, for example, April Fool's Day is actually celebrated for two days. The second day is devoted to pranks involving the posterior region of the body and is called Taily Day. The origin of the "kick me" sign can be traced back to this observance.

Mexico's counterpart to April Fool's Day is observed on December 28. Originally, this day was a solemn remembrance of the slaughter of the innocent children by King Herod, but it eventually evolved into a lighter commemoration involving pranks and trickery.

Pranks performed on April Fool's Day range from the simple (such as saying, "Your shoe's untied!") to the elaborate. Setting a roommate's alarm clock back an hour is a common gag. Whatever the prank, the trickster usually finishes by yelling to their victim, "April Fool!" In Scotland, it usually ends with sodomy.



Practical jokes are a common practice on April Fool's Day, with some elaborate ones played on friends or relatives that last the entire day. Even the news media gets involved. For instance, a British short film once shown on April Fool's Day was a fairly detailed documentary about "spaghetti farmers" and how they harvest their crop from spaghetti trees.



Happy April Fools, everybody!


Today is also the non-denominational the Feast of St. Stupid's day.

here is the history of St. Stupid, directly from the font of all knowledge - Wikipedia:

... According to legend, St. Stupid was the son of a codpiece. It is also told that he had not one mother, but thousands. Wherever a country lass was deceived by a traveling player, wherever a child of questionable parentage was born, St. Stupid was there. He was a clever child who played the fool from an early age. He did not speak until he was in puberty, although he was able from the time he was two. He delighted in confounding and confusing his fellow beings. He did rock imitations. He slept with the chickens and crowed with the roosters. He traveled over most of the known world and much of the unknown world, creating mischief wherever he went. At times he attracted others and together they put on dumb shows where they confounded and swindled their audiences....



The annual parade celebrating the venerable saint, held in San Francisco, will be held this afternoon.


Today is also Take Down Tobacco National Day of Action. What used to be known as as Kick Butts Day, is a day of activism that empowers young people to speak out against the tobacco industry.



It has been organized by the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids since 1996.


April 1, 1930 -
Josef von Sternberg's Der Blaue Engel (The Blue Angel), starring unknown German actress, Marlene Dietrich, premiered in Berlin on this date.



Marlene Dietrich's screen test for this film survives. In it, she upbraids an unidentified piano player for his bad playing and sings two songs, the first of which is "You're the Cream In My Coffee."


April 1, 1949 -
The film noir drama Impact, directed by Arthur Lubin, and starring Brian Donlevy, Ella Raines, Charles Coburn, Helen Walker, Anna May Wong, Tony Barrett, and William Wright, went into general release in the U.S. on this date.



Helen Walker and Ella Raines, who were born less than a month apart, were 19 years younger than Brian Donlevy. Walker was only four years younger than Tony Barrett. In a case of life mirroring art, Donlevy, though older than Barrett, outlived him. Barrett died in 1974 at age 58 from cancer, while Donlevy died in 1972 at age 71 from throat cancer. Walker also died from cancer at a young age, 47, in 1968. Raines lived to age 68, passing away in 1988. Like Donlevy, she died from throat cancer.


April 1, 1950 -
The fourth and final cartoon to feature Beaky Buzzard, Strife with Father, directed by Robert McKimson, debuted on this date.



When Beaky's father says "If I were King...", Beaky responds "That's no King...that's Monty". This was also meant as a reference to then British Viscount Sir Bernard Law Montgomery (commonly called Monty).


April 1, 1960 -
The Merrie Melodies short Person to Bunny directed by Friz Freleng and starring Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd, debuted on this date.



This is the final cartoon to have Arthur Q. Bryan as the voice of Elmer Fudd, as well as his final role in acting (not counting archival footage) before his death in November of 1959.


April 1, 1976 -
Five years after the infamous trial, CBS premiered a made-for-television movie Helter Skelter, about the Charles Manson Family murders, on this date.



Steve Railsback received so much critical acclaim for his portrayal of Charles Manson that major movie studios later offered him several roles as villains and killers in theatrically-released movies. Fearing typecasting, Railsback turned most of the offers down. The only villainous character on which Railsback regrets passing was that of Joshua in Lethal Weapon , a role that ultimately went to Gary Busey.


April 1, 1978 -
Tonight was the last time you could play the original version of the game, 'Hi Bob' because the final episode of The Bob Newhart Show aired on this date.



Over the course of the series, the phrase, "Hi, Bob" was said 256 times. Howard Borden (Bill Daily) said it a total of 118 times. Dr. Jerry Robinson (Peter Bonerz) logged 43. Carol Kester (Marcia Wallace): 36 times and Emily Hartley (Suzanne Pleshette): 17 times. Minor characters or guest stars said it 43 times, and Bob Hartley (Bob Newhart) even said it once himself.


April 1, 1989 -
The Bangles hit single Eternal Flame, riose to the top of the Billboard Charts on this date. Less than six months later, the band broke up. (Such is life.)



The Bangles announced their breakup on September 21, 1989, less than six months after Eternal Flame topped the US charts. The group was filled with creative tension and feeling generally overwhelmed. When Hoffs and bass player Michael Steele didn't attend Debbi Peterson's wedding in the summer of 1989, it was clear their relationship was beyond repair. The split came when Hoffs told her bandmates she was leaving to pursue a solo career, which she did.


April 1, 2007 -
Showing her very acute sense of irony, Alanis Morissette transforms the Black Eyed Peas' song My Humps into a mournful piano ballad for an April Fools' Day prank.



The accompanying music video debuts on YouTube on this date and became a viral sensation, garnering millions of views.


Another episode of ACME's Little Known Animal Facts


Today in History:
April 1, 78 -
Roman scientist Gaius Brutus Caellus produced the first alkaline battery on this date. No practical use could be discovered for his invention, as it would be nineteen full centuries before the advent of cordless vibrator, it became a mere academic curiosity.

It was gradually forgotten until Alessandro Volta used writings about Caellus's novelty to invent the first "wet cell" battery in 1800.


April 1, 1865 –
Ordered to hold Five Forks, Confederate General George Pickett instead fought the "Waterloo of the Confederacy," and lost almost 3,000 troops on this date.



Oops


April 1, 1895 -
Alberta Hunter, blues singer, songwriter and nurse, was born on this date.



After the death of her mother in 1954, Ms. Hunter retired from the music industry and 'reinvented' herself', becoming a nurse working until the late 70s (my grand-aunt worked with her at the time.)



Coming out of her second retirement, Ms. Hunter accepted a 'two-week' engagement in a downtown NYC nightclub, The Cookery, that lasted almost six years (until shortly before her death.)


April 1, 1960 -
The world's first experimental weather satellite, TIROS-1, was launched on this date.



TIROS-I was operational for only 78 days, but proved extremely successful, providing the first accurate weather forecasts based on data gathered from space.


April 1, 1970 -
President Richard Nixon signs legislation officially banning cigarette ads on television and radio.



This act required cigarette manufacturers to place warning labels on their products that stated “Cigarette Smoking May be Hazardous to Your Health.”


On April 1, 1976, Max Ernst died. On April 2, he was born. This sort of contradictory behavior was typical of Ernst, one of the founders of the Dada movement.



The Dada movement’s central philosophy was haddock, and its importance has been pocketbook.


April 1, 1984 -
Legendary Motown singer Marvin Gaye, who had recently moved back in with his parents, physically battered his own father.



Minutes later Dad returns with a gun, shooting Marvin twice in the chest and killing him instantly (sorry but there's no funny jokes to make about this.)


April 1, 2004 -
Google launches Gmail, a free webmail and POP3 email service, as an invitation-only beta. The launch is initially met with wide-spread skepticism due to Google’s long-standing tradition of April Fool’s jokes.



Gmail differs from other services in that it ran as smoothly as any desktop application, largely thanks to the use of Ajax in its interface.



And so it goes.

Broken crayons still color

March 31 marks National Crayon Day. Crayola Crayons have been around for 123 years. The Crayola brand was born in 1903 when cousins Edwin Binney and C. Harold Smith released the their first crayon box with its eight-count box that was sold for only a nickel.



The average child will go through hundreds of crayons in a decade. Apparently, according to the intraweb, the unique smell of crayolas is created in large part by stearic acid, which is a derivative of beef tallow—more commonly known as beef fat. The ingredient is used to deliver a waxy consistency.

Who knew?


March 31, 1930 -
The Motion Pictures Production Code (popularly known as the Hays Code after its creator Will H.Hays) is instituted, imposing strict guidelines on the treatment of sex, crime, religion and violence in film for the next 38 years



While the Code to Govern the Making of Talking, Synchronized and Silent Motion Pictures was published in 1930, it was not rigidly enforced until 1934 following more threats of censorship by the Federal Government and the widespread threats of Catholic boycotts of immoral movies. The studios granted MPPDA full authority to enforce the Production Code on all studios.


March 31, 1943 -
Ronald Walken, possibly the most imitated actor in America, was born on this date.



In his almost 40 years career in film, he has acted in well over 90 films. He rarely turns down a part, under the belief that making movies (whether they turn out good or bad) is always a rewarding experience.


March 31, 1953 -
Stanley Kubrick's first feature film, a war drama titled Fear and Desire, premiered in New York on this date.



Stanley Kubrick disowned the film soon after it's release and wanted to make sure it was never seen again by not re-releasing the print. What he didn't know was that Kodak when making the print had a policy of making an extra print for their archives


March 31, 1957 -
The original version of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella, starring Julie Andrews, aired live in color on CBS on this date (only black-and-white kinescopes exist today.)



The only production of the Rodgers and Hammerstein version to be telecast while Oscar Hammerstein was still alive. He died in 1960, five years before the second television production of the musical was telecast.


March 31, 1960 -
The family comedy Please Don't Eat the Daisies, directed by Charles Walters, and starring Doris Day, David Niven, Janis Paige, Spring Byington, Richard Haydn, Patsy Kelly, and Jack Weston, debuted on this date.



Based on the best-selling autobiographical book of the same name, written by Jean Kerr, wife of powerful New York theatre critic Walter Kerr. For this film adaptation, characters' names were changed, but the bulk of the comic incidents seen here are from Kerr's memoir.


March 31, 1975 -
The TV show Gunsmoke, which premiered in 1955, aired its last original episode on this date.



The show was canceled in September of the previous year. According to James Arness, the cancellation caught them by surprise. The cast and crew were expecting the series to go at least three more years.


March 31, 1983 -
All good things must come to an end: the sixth and final Monty Python film featuring all six member of the troupe before Graham Chapman's death in 1989, Monty Python's The Meaning of Life premiered in the US on this date.



Sensitive to the young actors in the Every Sperm is Sacred scene, Michael Palin actually says "those little rubber things on the end of my sock." The word "cock" was dubbed in later. The kids who sang in the sketch later said they had no idea what they were singing about.


March 31, 1987 –
20 minutes into the future, US network television’s very first cyberpunk series, Max Headroom premiered on ABC-TV, on this date.



According to the first episode, the name "Max Headroom" came about when Edison Carter was fleeing from security guards on a motorcycle, and he ran into a parking garage exit gate labeled MAX HEADROOM. While he was in a coma his memory was downloaded into a computer by Bryce Lynch and the computer-generated personality chose this to be its new name.


March 31, 1989 -
The black comedy Heathers directed by Michael Lehmann, and starring Winona Ryder, Christian Slater, Shannen Doherty, Lisanne Falk, Kim Walker and Penelope Milford, opened in the U.S. on this date.



Originally, the book that suicidal students supposedly underline "meaningful" passages from was The Catcher in the Rye. The producers could not get permission from J.D. Salinger to use the book. It was changed to Moby Dick because Herman Melville's works are in the public domain.


March 31, 1994 -
Madonna appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman on this date. She dropped the f-bomb more than a dozen times, exchanged less- than-friendly barbs with Dave and then stubbornly refused to leave the set.



This made the episode the most censored in American network television talk-show history; it also resulted in some of the highest ratings of Letterman's late-night career.



The extra credit question, who was the musical guest that evening? - Counting Crows.


March 31, 2000 -
Stephen Frears' adaptation of Nick Hornsby novel, High Fidelity, starring John Cusack, Jack Black, Lisa Bonet, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Joan Cusack, and Tim Robbins and featuring a cameo by Bruce Springsteen, went into general release in the US on this date.



John Cusack and the screenwriters wrote the script with Jack Black in mind for the role of Barry. He nearly turned the role down, but reconsidered.


Today's moment of Zen.


Today in History:
March 31 1492 - (This tidbit is brought to you by Cerveza Alhambra -

the Irony of Bottled Beer!)
With the issuance of the Alhambra Decree on this date, King Ferdinand and Queen Isabel expel all of the Jews from Spain, except those willing to convert to Christianity. Even with the infusions of gold and silver arriving during the 16th century from the Americas, this is an act from which Spain never recovered.



By expelling their merchant and banking class, Jews and Muslims, the country was left ill-equipped to process the new wealth, which ultimately winds up in the coffers of other countries and squandered on disastrous military campaigns.

I guess that didn't quite go the way they had planned.


March 31, 1811 -
Robert Bunsen, whose name we associate with the burner, was a 19th-century German chemist of some renown, was born on this date. He worked on explosive organic arsenic compounds--leading to the loss of one eye--and, later, on gases from volcanoes, geysers and blast furnaces.



With Gustav Kirchhoff, he contributed to our understanding of the meaning of spectra lines. (He also gained note for not bathing--one woman of polite society remarked that Bunsen was so charming that she would like to kiss him, but she would have to wash him first.)


March 31, 1889 –
French engineer Gustave Eiffel unfurled the French tricolor from atop the Eiffel Tower, officially marking its completion on this date - but its history, as we all know, dates back to Gallic times.



Documents that have been carbon-dated to roughly 200 B.C. indicate that King Catatonix of the Hellatians decreed, for no apparent reason, the construction of a big tower on the very site where the Eiffel Tower stands today.

In Caesar’s Reflections on the Garlic Wars, the Roman general Julius Caesar reminisces about having found “a curious wooden tower, tall and strange.” Baffled by this peculiar cultural monolith—and never happy to be baffled—he burned it to the ground.

Some four centuries later, with the Western Roman Empire in collapse, wild-eyed Gallic nationalists rebuilt the tower using cheese instead of wood. They called it La Grande Fromage, from which we get the expression “The Big Cheese.”

During subsequent invasions by and entanglements with Normans, Saxons, Angles, Ostrogoths, Visigoths, and Lolligoths, the tower was repeatedly destroyed and rebuilt, always for no apparent reason. It had become, by now, a sort of habit—a national obsessive-compulsive disorder.

René Descartes was born on March 31, 1596. Descartes said that he existed because he thought, and although he said it in Latin, everyone still had to admit that it looked as though Reason had finally entered the world.



Therefore, the Franks (who now called themselves the French, primarily to irritate Germany) lost interest in the tower and, at last, abandoned the effort.

Unfortunately, in 1870 German chancellor Otto von Bismarck defeated the French army in a Sedan and laid siege to Paris. This made the French lose their heads (see also the French Revolution). They forgot all about Reason and made Gustave Eiffel build a Tower, this time using steel, which was stronger than cheese and not quite as flammable as wood. It stands to this day, a proud monument French culture, without which we would not have Champagne, Brie, Brigitte Bardot, or Marcel Proust.


March 31, 1948 -
The US Congress passed the Marshall Plan to rebuild war-torn Europe after World War II, on this date.



Recognizing the need for economic stability on the continent, former Army Chief of Staff George Marshall responded to the high unemployment and food shortages with an initiative that provided $13 billion in aid to 18 European countries, and gave each country a role in creating its own plans for recovery.


March 31, 1959 -
The Dalai Lama was forced to leave Tibet, after the Red Communists (Evil Bastards) make it very unpleasant for him to stay, on this date.



He accuses the Chinese of making genocide against the Tibetan people, by systematic destruction of Tibetan culture and execution of thousands of prominent citizens (At the rate I'm going, I'll be lucky to get takeout delivered to my house.)


March 31, 1967 -
At the Finsbury Park Astoria Theatre in London, Jimi Hendrix sets fire to his guitar for the first time, and goes to the hospital after the show with minor burns.



Hendrix didn't set any more guitars literally on fire on that tour, although he would repeat the stunt during his band's legendary performance at the Monterey International Pop Music Festival a few months later.


March 31, 1968 -
In a televised speech to the nation on this date, President Lyndon B. Johnson announced a partial halt of bombing missions over North Vietnam and proposed peace talks.



Citing national divisions over the war in Vietnam, President Johnson also announced that he would not run for re-election. The stock market soared the next day.


March 31, 1995 -
The president of the Selena Fan Club, Yolanda Saldivar, killed the Tejano music popstar Selena in Corpus Christi, TX. "It just went off, I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to kill anybody".



That might be true, but the jury did not believe her.

Remember folks, never let a crazy fan with a gun license and bad credit be the head of your fan club.



And so it goes.