Tuesday, May 5, 2020

We're all born bald

Other things to occupy your mind with other than COVID-19 - an up side to hair loss:



You don't have to worry much about the fungus Candida, which is carried on hair brushes and can cause yeast infections.


Please take a moment from cutting those limes and getting that sea salt ready for the massive margarita you all have to make to celebrate this day.  For those of you who don't know - it's not Mexican Independence Day (that's September 16th) - it's the celebration of Mexican General Ignacio Zaragoza victory over the French General Charles Latrille de Lorencez .



If you need another reason to celebrate the day - A US patent was issued for the first bottle with a screw cap and a pour lip to Edward A. Ravenscroft, of Glencoe, Illinois (No 2,039,345,) on this date.  Abbott Laboratories of North Chicago manufactured the bottles.

And remember, the Mexican government will never pay for that wall and there is no truth to the rumor that you can get the Coronavirus from drinking the beer!



Hopefully, someday, the company will get past the stupidity of some of the American population.


We should work to guarantee that there is a midwife or health worker by every woman's side during childbirth.



But I know many of you could care less that it's International Midwivery Day; the idea of having a day to recognize and honor midwives came out of the 1987 International Confederation of Midwives conference in the Netherlands.


Today is National Teacher DayNational Teacher Appreciation Day is observed on the Tuesday of the first full week in May. Today day is part of Teacher Appreciation Week, which is the first full week in May of each year.



In 1944, an Arkansas teacher named Mattie Whyte Woodridge began a campaign to establish a national day that would honor teachers.

Woodridge wrote letters to politicians, education leaders, and eventually the first lady, Eleanor Roosevelt. In 1953, Mrs. Roosevelt convinced Congress to proclaim the first National Teacher Day.  National Education Association describes National Teacher Day “as a day for honoring teachers and recognizing the lasting contributions they make to our lives.


May 5, 1934 -
Columbia Pictures
released their first Three Stooges short, Woman Haters, starring  Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Curly Howard, on this date.



Out of the 190+ shorts The Three Stooges made, this is one of the few in which their characters aren't called by the Stooges' real names (or variations of their real names).


May 5, 2002 –
Sam Raimi's
offering from the Marvel universe, Spider-Man, starring Tobey Maguire, Willem Dafoe, Kristen Dunst, and James Franco, went into general release on this date. It became the fastest movie ever to earn more than $100 million at the box office, raking in $114.8 million that weekend.



One of the chief difficulties that Tobey Maguire experienced in the now-famous upside-down kissing scene was that his sinuses kept filling up with water as it was performed in driving rain.


May 5, 2018 -
Childish Gambino
aka Donald Glover releases the music video to his latest single This is America on this date.



The video was directed by Hiro Murai, who previously worked with Glover on his Atlanta show. A statement on gun control, it starts with a shirtless Gambino dancing in a warehouse, and then 53 seconds into the visual, he suddenly shoots an anonymous man in the head. Later on, Gambino mows down the gospel choir while they're singing the refrain. Amidst all the carnage, Gambino continues to perform several viral dance moves with an entourage of young dancers. R&B singer SZA makes a cameo appearance in the aftermath of the massacre.


Today's moment of Zen


Today in History:
May 5, 2349 BC -
Noah's Ark
landed on Mount Ararat on this date, according to calculations by James Ussher, Archbishop of the Church of Ireland.



According to the good bishop, Noah heard about the two for one Margaritas at Senor Swanky's.


May 5, 1821 -
Napoleon
died on the island of St. Helena on this date. Some suspect from arsenic poisoning.



More likely, he died from stomach cancer as did his father.

But then who knows, I wasn't there, were you?


May 5, 1891
-
The Music Hall (Carnegie Hall) opened in NYC on this date with Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, noted Russian composer and secret sodomite, as guest conductor.



It was quite a celebration. Andrew Carnegie’s new Music Hall opened with a five-day music festival on this date.


May 5, 1921
-
French designer Coco Chanel introduced her iconic Chanel Number 5 perfume to some of her friends on this date. Initially, it was given to preferred clients for free at her boutique. The fitting rooms in her boutique were also scented with No. 5.



Coco Chanel commissions renowned perfumer Ernest Beaux to create the most expensive perfume in the world, Jasmine was the most expensive perfume oil and Chanel No. 5 relies heavily on Jasmine.


May 5, 1925
-
High school teacher John T. Scopes was arrested on this date for teaching evolution by authorities in Dayton, Tennessee, as part of a publicity stunt to make the town famous.



Since Scopes admitted teaching the theory, he was found guilty, and the law remained on the books in the backward state until 1967.


May 5, 1943 -
Contrary to what the politicians and religious leaders would like us to believe, the world won't be made safer by creating barriers between people.



Michael Palin, actor, screenwriter and (thankfully for humanity) a very silly person was born on this date.


May 5, 1945 -
Mrs Elsie Mitchell and five neighborhood children were killed while attempting to drag a Japanese balloon out the woods in Lakeview, Oregon on this date. Unbeknownst to Mitchell and the children, the balloon was armed, and it exploded soon after they began tampering with it.



They were the only people killed in action on the US mainland during World War II.


May 5th, 1955
-
On this bright and sunny spring day, the United States decided to blow an American city into oblivion in order to test a new cooking method. At 5:10 am on this date, a nuclear bomb assigned to Operation Cue (a.k.a. ‘Apple-2’ or Operation Teapot) was detonated at Area 1 of the Nevada Test Site. A collection of structures, buildings (one containing a freezer full of Birds Eye frozen cod fillets, along with frozen chicken pot pie, frozen french fried potatoes, and other chilled foods) even mannequins were designed to measure the effects of an atomic weapon used against urban centers.



According to officials, “Frozen food samples from the stations at 1270 and 2750ft were found to be definitely radioactive, particularly the cod fillets.”  Shockingly, the food samples were eaten; no surprise, they didn't take good.  Developers of microwaves felt this was not a practical method for quick and efficient cooking.

No word on the survival rate of the taste testers.


May 5, 1961 -
Alan B. Shepard was the first American in space, with a fifteen minute suborbital flight. He was forced to piss himself in his suit prior to launch, as it lacked an evacuation system.



He and his soiled space suit were launched in the 2,000-lb. capsule Freedom 7 from Cape Canaveral, Florida, by a Mercury-Redstone 3 rocket. The flight traveled 302 miles at a speed relative to the ground of of 4,500 mph.

This will be on the test.


May 5, 1994 -
Michael Fay
, an American teenager, was charged along with others for vandalism in Singapore. Fay’s original sentence was four months in jail, a large fine and six caning strokes. With the enormous amount of media coverage in the United States and the intervention of U.S. President Bill Clinton, this was reduced to approximately three months in jail, and four strokes.



Although, in the U.S., this is considered unusual and harsh punishment for vandalism, U.S. public support for the whacking was overwhelming (running 90% in Fay’s home town of Dayton, Ohio).  Mr. Fay was obviously a popular kid back home.

It should be notes that many a buff hairless youth from the West Village would have gladly assume the position, spread their firm, waxed buttock, exposing their freshly bleached anus, and manly taken four and twenty lashes with barely a whimper and eagerly have asked for more.



Before you go - You've been waiting for it with bated breath - The second episode of Nebula 75!



Hopefully more episodes will be coming soon


And so it goes.


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