Please refer to your handy church bulletin

Saint Vitalis of Assisi (not to be confused with St. Vitalis of Milan, patron saint of grey haired Lotharios) was an Italian hermit and monk who died in 1370. He became a saint despite an early life marked by licentiousness and immorality. However, in an attempt to atone he went on pilgrimages to various sanctuaries.

On his return to Umbria, he became a Benedictine monk at Subiaco and later lived as a hermit. He spent the rest of his life in the hermitage of Santa Maria di Viole, near Assisi, in utter poverty. His reputation for holiness soon spread after his death. He was known as a patron against sicknesses and diseases affecting the genitals.



The severed head alleged to belong to the patron saint of genital diseases was sold in 2011 at auction. If the reliquary ever comes up for sale again, snap it up - Bunkies, nothing says love like the rotting skull of the saint of the burning loins.

There are at least five other Saints who glommed onto the name St. Vitalis:

Saint Vitalis of Ravenna
Saint Vitalis of Bologna
Saint Vitalis of Gaza
Saint Vitalis of Savigny
Saint Vitalis of Milan, martyred in 250 under the persecution of Decius

So try to keep this all straight in your mind when you're praying to a saint to cure your STDs.


May 26, 1937 -
The Michael Curtiz boxing drama, Kid Galahad, starring Edward G. Robinson, Bette Davis, and Humphrey Bogart premiered in the US on this date.



The film was renamed The Battling Bellhop for TV distribution so as not to be confused with the Elvis Presley version in 1962.


May 26, 1970 -
The final episodes of I Dream of Jeannie, My Master The Chili King aired on this date.



Barbara Eden personally selected the pink/maroon color combination of Jeannie's harem outfit. Pink symbolizes the playful, girlish aspects of her personality, while maroon symbolizes the fiery, headstrong aspects of her personality. Eden also selected the purple trim of her bottle.


May 26, 1972 -
Mott The Hoople, on the verge of breaking up, are offered help from David Bowie, who allows them to record two songs he wrote. They pass on Suffragette City but cut All The Young Dudes, which becomes their biggest hit and revives their career.



When Bowie first offered this song to Mott The Hoople, they recognized its potential straight away. The band's drummer Dale Griffin is quoted in Rolling Stone magazines Top 500 Songs: "I'm thinking, 'He wants to give us that?' He must be crazy!"


May 26, 1979 -
Blondie's song Sunday Girl off the album Parallel Lines became the group's second UK No.1 hit single on this date.



Though never released as a single in the United States, the song became a #1 hit in the United Kingdom and in Australia. In Britain the sales were boosted by another previously unavailable track on the B-side: a French language version of "Sunday Girl."


May 26, 1988 -
Frank Sinatra appeared in a commercial for Michelob singing The Way You Look Tonight, as part of the brewery's "The Night Belongs to Michelob" ad campaign.



At the time, Anheuser-Busch marketing explained Sinatra's presence in the ad, "We're trying to show the length and breadth of 'the night.'" That and the brewing giant wanted its name attached to The Ultimate Event, a national tour featuring Sinatra, Liza Minnelli and Sammy Davis Jr. Sinatra was also a longtime collaborator with the company's flagship brand, Budweiser. The label sponsored several of his TV specials and he bought a lucrative distributorship in 1967.


Another ACME Safety Film


Today in History:
May 26, 1232 -
Pope Gregory IX issued the bull Declinante jam mundi, bringing the Papal Inquisition to Spain. Gregory IX was a prominent opponent of Judaism during his life, condemning it as "containing every kind of vileness and blasphemy".

Apparently he was a little bit of a douche.


May 26, 1647 -
Alse Young, a widow, was hanged for witchcraft in Windsor, Connecticut on this date. (She may have been hanged at the Meeting House Square in Hartford, Connecticut. I don't know, I wasn't there.) She was the first person in America executed for the crime of witchcraft.



Her daughter Alice was accused of the same offense 30 years later, in Massachusetts.

It was something in the genes.


May 26, 1868 -
In England's last public execution, Michael Barrett was hanged at Newgate on this date. All subsequent hangings are held behind prison walls.

Presiding over the event is executioner William Calcraft, who frequently supplements his income by selling the clothes and noose worn by the condemned.

Hey, a man's got to earn a living.


May 26, 1913 –
Peter Wilton Cushing, OBE, English actor, known for his many appearances in Hammer Films, was born on this date.



Peter Cushing was the guest of honor at the Famous Monsters of Filmland Convention in New York City in 1975. After receiving a thunderous ovation from those in attendance, he looked at everyone and said, "Have you ever felt unloved?"


May 26, 1923 -
Le Mans France held its first Grand Prix D'endurance - the 24 Hours of Le Mans, as an endurance test for touring cars.



The first winning drivers, Amdre Lagache and Rene Leonard, averaged 57.2 miles per hour.


There were a lot of notable music birthdays on this date:

May 26, 1920 -
Norma Deloris Egstrom, Grammy award winning singer, songwriter, composer and actress, was born on this date.





And yes Peggy, that's all there is.


May 26, 1926 –
Miles Dewey Davis III born on this date in Alton, Illinois, was a trumpeter, bandleader, composer and widely considered one of the most influential musicians of the 20th Century.





Duke Ellington called him "the Picasso of Jazz, the invisible art".


May 26, 1948 -
It was my 16th birthday - my mom and dad gave me my Goya classical guitar that day. I sat down, wrote this song, and I just knew that that was the only thing I could ever really do - write songs and sing them to people.





Stephanie Lynn Nicks, singer-songwriter and acclaimed goat singer, was born on this date.


May 26, 1964 -
People see my photos and think I labor over my image and I'm this cool, brooding artist. But I'm just having fun with it.





Leonard Albert "Lenny" Kravitz, musician and actor was born on this date.


May 26, 1960 -
America's UN Ambassador Henry Cabot Lodge Jr. charged at a speech at the UN on this date that the Soviets with having bugged the Moscow embassy. He shows off a large wooden carving of the United States seal which had been hollowed out to conceal a sophisticated resonant cavity transmitter.



Less than 30 years later a newly-rebuilt Moscow embassy was determined to be "structurally riddled with eavesdropping devices."


May 26, 1977 -
Police arrested George Willig, after he had successfully scaled the World Trade Center's south tower in NYC on this date.



He was fined $110 -- a dollar per floor climbed. The stunt paved the way for appearances on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, Good Morning America, The Merv Griffin Show and ABC's Wide World of Sports.


May 26, 1994 -
Michael Jackson wed Lisa Marie Presley in the Dominican Republic on this date. The couple keeps their love match secret for six weeks, then files for divorce 18 months after that.

Lisa Marie has confirmed on the Oprah show that she had enjoyed marital relations with Jackson -



Stop thinking about it, it's the road to madness!!


May 26, 1998 -
Another in a series of cases that you didn't think needed to be settled -



The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Ellis Island was mainly in New Jersey, not New York. When the states made the boundary final, New York ended up with 4.68 acres, or about 17 percent, of the island.



And so it goes.