I also did a quick study of getting the back of my hospital gown closed. NO ONE, probably not even Mrs. Dr. Caligari wants to see my bony old ass. So I pushed my rolling IV and portable machines in from of me live a proud old Romand general and marched on.
(More later.)
Please take a brief pause from getting ready for the massive margarita you all have to make to celebrate this day. For those of you who don't know - it's not Mexican Independence Day (that's September 16th) - it's the celebration of Mexican General Ignacio Zaragoza victory over the French General Charles Latrille de Lorencez.
If you need another reason to celebrate the day - A US patent was issued for the first bottle with a screw cap and a pour lip to Edward A. Ravenscroft, of Glencoe, Illinois (No 2,039,345,) on this date. Abbott Laboratories of North Chicago manufactured the bottles.
Hopefully, someday, the company will get past the stupidity of some of the American population.
We should work to guarantee that there is a midwife or health worker by every woman's side during childbirth.
But I know many of you could care less that it's International Midwivery Day; the idea of having a day to recognize and honor midwives came out of the 1987 International Confederation of Midwives conference in the Netherlands.
May 5, 1934 -
Columbia Pictures released their first Three Stooges short, Woman Haters, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Curly Howard, on this date.
Out of the 190+ shorts The Three Stooges made, this is one of the few in which their characters aren't called by the Stooges' real names (or variations of their real names).
May 5, 2000 -
Steely Dan kicked off the fifth year of The Today Show's Summer Concert series with a rare live performance on this date.
The band found it very nerve-racking to appear on a totally live broadcast for fear of any technical glitches out of their control.
May 5, 2002 –
Sam Raimi's offering from the Marvel universe, Spider-Man, starring Tobey Maguire, Willem Dafoe, Kristen Dunst, and James Franco, went into general release on this date. It became the fastest movie ever to earn more than $100 million at the box office, raking in $114.8 million that weekend.
To acquire his bumped-up physique, Tobey Maguire went through a strict five-month regimen of exercise, weight training and martial arts six times a week, as well as eating a high protein meal four to six times a day.
May 5, 2018 -
Childish Gambino aka Donald Glover releases the music video to his latest single This is America on this date.
Childish Gambino was accused on social media of ripping off New York rapper Jase Harley's 2016 track American Pharaoh for this song. While both tunes do indeed feature dark lyrics about being black in America over a menacing beat, Harley seemed to be relaxed about the alleged musical theft, saying, "I feel extremely humbled to be recognized and labeled as one of, or the original inspiration, for one of the most important pieces of music and visual art of our time."
Another ACME Safety Film
Today in History:
May 5, 2349 BC -
Noah's Ark landed on Mount Ararat on this date, according to calculations by James Ussher, Archbishop of the Church of Ireland.
According to the good bishop, Noah heard about the two for one Margaritas at Senor Swanky's.
May 5, 1821 -
Napoleon died on the island of St. Helena on this date. After confession, Extreme Unction and Viaticum in the presence of Father Ange Vignali, Napoleon's last words were, "France, l'armée, tête d'armée, Joséphine" ("France, army, head of the army, Joséphine"). Some suspect Napoleon died from arsenic poisoning.
More likely, he died from stomach cancer as did his father. But then who knows, I wasn't there, were you?
Beethoven's 3rd Symphony was originally called Bonaparte as tribute to Napoleon, the First Consul. When Napoleon proclaimed himself Emperor in 1804, the disillusioned Beethoven tore up the pages of his score in a rage, stamped on it and changed it to Eroica (meaning heroic). When informed of the death of Napoleon on May 5, 1821, Beethoven said, "I wrote the music for this sad event seventeen years ago", referring to the funereal second movement.
But wait, there's more - Urban legend has it, post-death, Napoléon Bonaparte’s penis was removed from body during his autopsy, smuggled to Cosica by Father Ange Vignali, displayed in a Philadelphia museum (during the early 20th century), and ended up under the bed of John Kingsley Lattimer, a prominent urologist, ballistics expert and collector of historical relics who treated top-ranking Nazis during the Nuremberg war crimes trials and was the first nongovernmental medical specialist allowed to examine the evidence in President John F. Kennedy’s assassination. (You just can't make this stuff up.)
May 5, 1891 -
The Music Hall (Carnegie Hall) opened in NYC on this date with Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, noted Russian composer and secret sodomite, as guest conductor.
It was quite a celebration. Andrew Carnegie’s new Music Hall opened with a five-day music festival on this date.
May 5, 1921 -
French designer Coco Chanel introduced her iconic Chanel Number 5 perfume to some of her friends on this date. Initially, it was given to preferred clients for free at her boutique. The fitting rooms in her boutique were also scented with No. 5.
Coco Chanel commissions renowned perfumer Ernest Beaux to create the most expensive perfume in the world, Jasmine was the most expensive perfume oil and Chanel No. 5 relies heavily on Jasmine.
May 5, 1925 -
High school teacher John T. Scopes was arrested on this date for teaching evolution by authorities in Dayton, Tennessee, as part of a publicity stunt to make the town famous.
Since Scopes admitted teaching the theory, he was found guilty, and the law remained on the books in the backward state until 1967.
May 5, 1943 -
I am not a great cook, I am not a great artist, but I love art, and I love food, so I am the perfect traveller..
Michael Palin, actor, screenwriter and (thankfully for humanity) a very silly person was born on this date.
May 5, 1945 -
Mrs Elsie Mitchell and five neighborhood children were killed while attempting to drag a Japanese balloon out the woods in Lakeview, Oregon on this date. Unbeknownst to Mitchell and the children, the balloon was armed, and it exploded soon after they began tampering with it.
They were the only people killed in action on the US mainland during World War II.
May 5th, 1955 -
On this bright and sunny spring day, the United States decided to blow an American city into oblivion in order to test a new cooking method. At 5:10 am on this date, a nuclear bomb assigned to Operation Cue (a.k.a. ‘Apple-2’ or Operation Teapot) was detonated at Area 1 of the Nevada Test Site. A collection of structures, buildings (one containing a freezer full of Birds Eye frozen cod fillets, along with frozen chicken pot pie, frozen french fried potatoes, and other chilled foods) even mannequins were designed to measure the effects of an atomic weapon used against urban centers.
According to officials, “Frozen food samples from the stations at 1270 and 2750ft were found to be definitely radioactive, particularly the cod fillets.” Shockingly, the food samples were eaten; no surprise, they didn't take good. Developers of microwaves felt this was not a practical method for quick and efficient cooking.
No word on the survival rate of the taste testers.
May 5, 1961 -
Alan B. Shepard was the first American in space, with a fifteen minute suborbital flight. He was forced to piss himself in his suit prior to launch, as it lacked an evacuation system.
He and his soiled space suit were launched in the 2,000-lb. capsule Freedom 7 from Cape Canaveral, Florida, by a Mercury-Redstone 3 rocket. The flight traveled 302 miles at a speed relative to the ground of of 4,500 mph.
This will be on the test.
May 5, 1994 -
Michael Fay, an American teenager, was charged along with others for vandalism in Singapore. Fay’s original sentence was four months in jail, a large fine and six caning strokes. With the enormous amount of media coverage in the United States and the intervention of U.S. President Bill Clinton, this was reduced to approximately three months in jail, and four strokes.
Although, in the U.S., this is considered unusual and harsh punishment for vandalism, U.S. public support for the whacking was overwhelming (running 90% in Fay’s home town of Dayton, Ohio). Mr. Fay was obviously a popular kid back home.
As I've noted before, there are many a buff hairless youth from the West Village would have gladly assume the position, spread their firm, waxed buttock, exposing their freshly bleached anus, and manly taken four and twenty lashes with barely a whimper and eagerly have asked for more.
And so it goes.
No comments:
Post a Comment