Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The smell of Pine in the air

Major Gridlock Alert - Gridlock Sam Schwartz has issue the "biggest gridlock alert day of [the] decade," - Avoid, like the H1N1 flu or your neighbor's vacation photos, midtown today!

Thousands will gather at Rockefeller Center in New York City for the 79th Annual Christmas tree lighting ceremonies tonight. Do you really want to be stuck in the middle of potential Darwin Award winners and children who should be forced to play in traffic? So once again, I'm giving native New Yorkers a gentle reminder - watch last year's lighting here.

Somehow, Justin Bieber and the impregnation of a Virgin are involved this year. Exert extreme caution!

November 30, 1971 -
The TV movie Brian's Song, debuted on ABC-TV on this date.

Louis Gossett Jr. was originally cast as Gale Sayers. Just days before shooting began, Gossett tore his Achilles' tendon while working out for the film. The studio execs scrambled, and quickly hired Billy Dee Williams as a replacement. Gossett, depressed over missing his "shot," was promised by producer David L. Wolper the first great role that came along. About six years later, Wolper called Gossett to play "Fiddler" in Roots, the Emmy-winning role that made him a star.

November 30, 1990 -
Rob Reiner's adaptation of Stephen King's thriller, Misery, premiered on this date.

The "guy who went mad in a hotel nearby" is a reference to The Shining, also based on a novel written by Stephen King.

Dear readers, as you rifle through the 'Cabinet' today, we hope that you will find today's posting a useful tool to help you count the blessing in your lives. Those who remain cynical and ungrateful, perhaps you might find cause for gratitude for at least one of the following historical events.

On November 30, 1935, the German government proclaimed a failure to accept the tenets of Nazism as grounds for divorce.

Be grateful you never married a Nazi.

Jonathan Swift was born on November 30, 1667,

and Mark Twain was born exactly 170 years later, in 1835.

Be grateful that not everyone is taking everything so goddamn seriously.

Winston Churchill (one of my favorite American who became British Prime Minister) was also born on November 30, in 1874, in a coat closet of his family home (really).

Be grateful that not everyone was so grateful for Peace In Our Time.

Otherwise, here are some other events that occurred on this date

November 30, 1900 -
Celebrated Irish author and noted sodomite Oscar Wilde, died in Paris of meningitis on this date. Wilde had been charged three times with indecency, specifically "the seduction and corruption of young men." Evidence admitted against him included testimony about fecal stains on his sheets.

Be thankful that we obviously have better cleaning detergents than the French did in 1900.

And remember, "I don't think that Wilde was a homosexual or bisexual, I think he just got carried away at those orgies".

November 30, 1929 -
Dick Clark, the American Bandstander, was born on this date. We heard a rumor about extensive facial plasticizing treatments in the early 1970's. While this rumor remains unverified, we must note that before his unfortunate stroke, the man seemed to no longer age and may not even be human.

Be thankful the few of us are faced with bargaining with Satan for our careers.

November 30, 1936 -
The Crystal Palace, originally built by Sir Joseph Paxton in London's Hyde Park for the 1851 Great Exhibition, burns to the ground on this date.

It was said that over 75,000 people came to watch the blaze, among them Winston Churchill, who said, "This is the end of an age". The glow was visible across eight counties.

Be thankful that you weren't down wind from this one.

November 30, 1954 -
At 1 pm, an 8.5 pound stone meteorite fell from the sky and struck Ann Elizabeth Hodges from Sylacauga, Alabama.

The housewife was seriously bruised but survived, although the meteorite destroyed her radio.

Oh the humanity!

20 more shopping days until Hanukkah, 25 more shopping days until Christmas.

And so it goes

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