Tuesday, March 15, 2011

So many questions, it makes my brain hurt

A Marathon (Fla.) man was arrested for burglary after his ex-girlfriend turned over a box of stolen sex toys to Sheriff’s detectives. Pshantel Scott said her ex-boyfriend, 39 year old Mitchell Tice, a breakfast cook, had recently brought home a box of sex toys which he said he’d gotten from a trailer behind Banana Bay resort. She turned the box of sex toys over to authorities.

The owner of the trailer identified the sex toys as his, and said they were in the trailer at the time of the burglary. A warrant was issued for Tice and he was arrested. He was charged with criminal mischief, burglary and theft. He was booked into jail. The toys were returned to their owner.

I have to stop thinking about this story, there's just too much for me to deal with.

Tip of the day:
It's a bad day for Italian men in short dresses who are going to the Senate today.

So please, all you paisans, wear something sensible, perhaps a midcalf skirt or a pants suit.

March 15, 1941 -
Another early Tex Avery - Bugs Bunny outing, Tortoise Beats Hare, premiered on this date.

This is the first of Cecil Turtle's three races with Bugs.

March 15, 1956 -
It's Shakespeare in Outer Space (loosely based on The Tempest) Forbidden Planet, premiered on this date.

It the film debut of Robby the Robot.

March 15,1972 -
The greatest film ever about corporate management and pasta sauce making, The Godfather, premiered in New York City on this date.

Never question a business decision you have to make - watch this film

Today in History:
March 15, 44 BC -
Julius Caesar, already warned to be wary on this the Ides of March by the astrologer Spurinna, was assassinated with pointy knives by a group of Senators, including Brutus and Cassius, at the Pompey theater. They were angry at him because he had crossed the Rubicon. Later Marc Antony borrowed everyone's ears and told them that Brutus was an honorable man, which upset them so much they had a Civil War.

Sixteen centuries later, more or less, William Shakespeare immortalized the story and eventually Marlon Brando got to play Marc Antony, so everyone was happy in the end.

Caesar is also celebrated because he wrote a famous book called The Garlic Wars, which begins with the famous line, All garlic is divided into three cloves. It also includes the line - veni, vidi, vinci, the exact meaning of which is still a matter of debate but, if my own Latin studies are worth anything, probably involves Druids and hollandaise sauce.

March 15, 1812 -
Luddites attack Frank Vickerman's wool processing factory at Taylor Hill in West Yorkshire, resulting in general destruction and attempted arson.

The rampaging Luddites were incensed because his machines replaced workers, but Vickerman was primarily targeted because of involvement in an Anti-Luddite committee.

So now you know more about luddites than you thought you ever would (remember, smash the IPhones.)

Today's episode of Oh, that Wacky Russian Revolution:
At two o'clock in the morning on March 15, 1917 the Tsar sent word to Petrograd that he was awfully sorry about the war and starvation and everything, but that he had some really good ideas about what they could do now, was looking forward to working with them, believed that healthy debate was a symptom of good government, and so on.

The new government told him to blow it out his ass.

And so at three o'clock in the afternoon, Nicholas abdicated in favor of his son (who had measles).

The new government told him and his son to blow it out their asses.

At 11:15 pm, Nicholas signed a proclamation that both he and his son (who had measles) would abdicate in favor of his brother, the Grand Duke Mikhail.

The next day, the new government told Nicholas, his son (who had measles), and the Grand Duke Mikhail to blow it out their asses.

A brief note to Gilbert Gottfried - YES, it was too soon.

And so it goes.

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