Hey, Turkey day is a day away. Begin thinking about all the creative ways to consume 3 or 4 types of pies. Here's today's tip for all cooks - continue drinking today but pace yourselves - you want to make it to Thursday without a trip to the emergency room.
Here's another holiday tip: Don't let your pet dog and his pet bird set your holiday table. They have not washed their hands after using the facilities.
Also please note: Woodstock is willing to eat other birds.
Today in History:
November 24, 1740 -
William Duell was hanged for rape and murder. A few hours later, whilst being prepared for dissection by medical students, he awakens .
The authorities took pity on him and commuted his sentence to one of transportation to Australia.
Wow that must have freaked him out.
November 24, 1859 -
Charles Darwin publishes On the Origin of Species 151 years ago today.
And depending on your point of view, either this is a seminal work in scientific literature and arguably the pivotal work in evolutionary biology or
you're a monkey's uncle.
November 24, 1871 -
National Rifle Association was established (in New York City) on this date. It's original goal was to teach its members to shoot accurately.
November 24, 1963 -
Extra-terrestrials used mass-hypnosis to persuade the world that someone resembling Jack Ruby had fatally shot someone resembling the person alleged to have been Lee Harvey Oswald. This also becomes the first actual murder captured on live TV.
The next day, November 25, a coffin containing the purported remains of the man, many Americans believed to have been John F. Kennedy was buried at Arlington National Cemetery. And on November 29, President Lyndon Baines Johnson appointed Chief Justice Earl Warren the head of a commission to investigate the alleged assassination of the person believed to have been John F. Kennedy.
Be grateful the CIA, the Knights Templar, the Rosicrucians, extraterrestrials, and the Children's Television Workshop don't give a damn about you.
November 24, 1971 -
On Thanksgiving eve, DB Cooper boarded Flight 305 in Portland, Or., and demanded $200,000 with the threat of a bomb. He parachuted from a Northwest Airlines 727 with the money over the Cascade Mountains near Ariel, Wash., and was never seen again.
A packet containing $5,880 of the ransom money was found in 1980 on the north shore of the Columbia River, just west of the Washington city of Vancouver, but he's still is missing.
31 more shopping days until Christmas, 7 more shopping days until Hanukkah. (Black Friday is just 2 days away.)
You will never have to watch SNL again - here is Cookie Monster's' audition tape:
This clip is funnier than most shows
And so it goes.