Sunday, March 1, 2009

It's National Pig Day

Everybody should go wallow in the mud and kiss a pig (or not.)



I can't remember the old saying, March comes in like a vole and goes out like a wombat.

The name of March comes from ancient Rome, when March was the first month of the year and called Martius after Mars, the Roman god of war. In Rome, where the climate is Mediterranean, March is the first month of spring, a logical point for the beginning of the year as well as the start of the military campaign season. The numbered year began on March 1 in Russia until the end of the fifteenth century. Great Britain and her colonies continued to use March 25 until 1752, the same year they finally adopted the Gregorian calendar. Many other cultures and religions still celebrate the beginning of the New Year in March.



March 1, 1815 -
Jesse Sharpless started a little business by charging admission to see one of his prized, secret possessions: "a certain lewd, wicked, scandalous, infamous, and obscene painting, representing a man in an obscene, impudent, and indecent posture with a woman." He was convicted on obscenity charges on this date. According to the ruling, he displayed the booty "to the manifest corruption and subversion of youth, and other citizens of this commonwealth, to the evil example of all others in like case offending, and against the peace and dignity of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania." (The painting has been lost to the dustbins of history - dammit!)

As I always say, give the people what they want and they will come.


March 1, 1932 -
A man, most likely not the convicted and executed Bruno Hauptmann, climbs a makeshift ladder to the 2nd floor of Charles Lindbergh's New Jersey home and snatches his twenty-month-old son, Charles Jr. Whoever took the baby left behind a poorly-written ransom note demanding $50,000 in small bills.



Interesting aside, leading the investigation for the New Jersey state police was Col. H. Norman Schwarzkopf, father of the Gulf War hero, “Stormin Norman,” who shares his name.


March 1, 1954 -
The first hydrogen bomb is detonated at Bikini. Even though the bomb was hundreds of times more powerful than the atomic bomb exploded there in 1946, no islanders were evacuated this time. Almost 300 people suffered radiation exposure. The test was so successful that it blew the once happy island into tiny bits that came to be known collectively as the Bikini Atoll.



Shrewd fashion moguls in France put two and two together and invented bell bottoms.


About four hundred years earlier--on March 1, 1562--Jason and his thousand Huguenots were at prayer in Vassy, France, when they were suddenly massacred by Catholics. Huguenots and Catholics subsequently fought "The Wars of Religion" for over three decades to settle the question of Best Religion Ever. Unfortunately the Edict of Nantes granted religious tolerance in 1598 and the question was never settled to anyone's satisfaction.

As a result, billions of human beings continue to honor the wrong religion to this very day. I truly hopes God is grading on a curve. . .


March 1, 1969 -
While performing with the Doors at The Dinner Key Auditorium in Miami,, the formerly svelte, now tubby alcoholic Jim Morrison asks the audience "Do you wanna see my cock?" then exposes himself briefly on a Miami stage.



For thus showing his peepee Morrison received a sentence of six months hard labor. Mr. Mojo Rising indeed.


March 1, 1971 -
You may not need a weatherman to tell which way the wind blows but... The radical group Weather Underground explodes a bomb in a restroom of the U.S. Capitol building, causing significant damage. The bomb exploded after an intensive search of the building yielded no results.



Nobody is ever convicted of the attack.

March 1, 1978 -
The body of Charlie Chaplin is stolen for ransom by Galtcho Ganav (Bulgaria) and Romnan Wardas (Poland) from a cemetery in Corsier, Switzerland. The actor's corpse is recovered two months later.



One can only hope the little tramp was properly embalmed.


And so it goes.

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