Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Is it me ...

HAMPTON, Va. – Some Phish fans are leaving Hampton a little lighter than when they arrived for the band's weekend reunion.

Police said Monday they confiscated about $1.2 million in illegal drugs and more than $68,000 in cash from concertgoers. Authorities also arrested 194 Phish fans during the three-night celebration of the band's return to the stage after a nearly five-year absence.

Most of the arrests were for drug possession, use and distribution, police said.

Tourism officials had estimated 75,000 fans would be coming to the coastal Virginia city. Nearly 200 law enforcement officers worked the weekend event, with the Vermont-based band picking up the tab.

... or is that a lot of drugs to enjoy listening to a band?
March 10, 1940 -
Carlos Ray Norris, the world's greatest living human being was born on this date.



* When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

* When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

* Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

* Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

* For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

* Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

* When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.

* When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

* Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

* Today, on his birthday, Chuck Norris will randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.


Today in History -
March 10, 1876 -
It was on this date in 1876 that Alexander Graham Bell conducted the first successful experiment on a radical new technology.

He put a "transmitter" in one room of his home and a "receiver" in another. He connected them with wire.

He then shouted into the mouthpiece of the transmitter, "Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you."

A moment later, his assistant, who had been waiting in the room with the receiver, came into Bell's room and said he had heard and understood everything.



The experiment was a success, and just a few days later Bell received the patent for the worlds first Long-Distance Watson Summonsing Device.

The invention didn't enjoy much commercial success because the market for persons with out-of-earshot assistants named Watson was not as large as Bell had hoped, but it did serve as a major stepping-stone to one of Bell's most significant inventions, the Watson Detonator


March 10, 1948 -
The State owned Communist Newpaper reports that the Czech foreign minister Jan Masaryk was thrown from a window at his apartment in Prague under mysterious circumstances.


Police seize more than $1 million from Phish fans

Authorities rule his death was a "suicide" and then decide to rule the death as accidentally because he seems to have "fallen while sitting in a yoga position on a window sill to combat insomnia". But most likely he was suffocated first, judging from the fact that he had lost control of his bowels.



I hate when that happens.


March 10, 1974 -
Second Lt. Hiroo Onoda of the Imperial Japanese Army surrenders to Philippine authorities. He believed World War II was still underway and continued a 30 year guerrila battle with other islanders. His final capitulation came when his senior officer, Maj. Taniguchi, ordered his surrender.



Upon return to the Japanese homeland, Onoda was treated as a hero, but had difficulty coping with his "postwar" life.


March 10, 1977 -
Roman Polanski gives a thirteen-year old girl Quaaludes and has sex with her during a photo shoot at Jack Nicholson's home. He later flees the country to avoid statutory rape charges.




It would have gone a lot easier for him (and probably more fun) if he just went into the bathroom and masturbated alone.


March 10, 1977 -
Astronomers James L. Elliot, Edward W. Dunham, and Douglas J. Mink discover rings around Uranus.



Allow yourself to laugh like a teenager.


March 10, 1988 -
Highly insipid rock vocalist Andy Gibb dies of heart trouble at age 30. He put a lot of drugs into his body, primarily cocaine.



Remember kids, just say no to insipid rock.


And so it goes.

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