Today in History -
On February 24, 1582, Pope Gregory XIII issued a proclamation that made everyone change their calendars from the Julian calendar to his own new and improved "Gregorian" calendar. (Obviously he was in cahoots with the calendar printing people, or he would have done it in November or December.) It was this shameless act of self-promotion that led to subsequent Vatican proclamations being called "Papal Bull."
Feb 24 1868 -
President Andrew Johnson impeached for High Crimes and Misdemeanors, which is fancy talk for removing Secretary of War Stanton. This remains an honor not bestowed again until the blowjob years of the Clinton Administration.
On February 24, 1920, the spokesman of a radical political group in Germany announced that it would change its name to the National Socialist German Workers' Party.
The group had previously been called the East Munich Crips.
Rejected names had included "The Genocidal Maniacs Party," "The World Conquest Party," and "The Party of Smiley People Who'll Make Life a Happy Little Picnic for Everyone." This name change made all the difference in the world, and eventually led to Evil Nazi Bastards, who later teamed up with the Evil Fascist Bastards of Italy and became a Significant Problem. They did not kill quite as many people as the Evil Communist Bastards of the Soviet Union, however, and were therefore unable to scare posterity into producing apologists.
(The party spokesman who had announced the change was of course Adolf Hitler, who did not change his own name and is therefore known to history as... you guessed it... Adolf Hitler.)
Feb 24 1921 -
Abe Vigoda's birthday. Not dead yet!
Feb 24 1988 -
Jerry Falwell loses his appeal to the Supreme Court, regarding an outrageous parody published by Hustler magazine. Falwell was shown as an incestuous drunk. As long as the material is not presented as factual, public figures may be sniped upon.
You're going to have to find the photo on your own folks.
Feb 24 1990 -
Businessman Malcolm Forbes dead. Call boys all over New York, mourn his death.
Feb 24 1992 -
In a very special episode of Geraldo, daytime talk show host Geraldo Rivera has fat cells removed from from his ass and injected into his forehead. I believe no other comments are necessary.
Feb 24 1998 -
A man "on a mission from God" hijacks a Turkish Airlines jet with 68 on board, claiming to have a bomb in his teddy bear, and attempts to divert it to Iran. Passengers put an end to his plans.
And so it goes.
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