February 15, 339 BC -
The permanently pissed philosopher Socrates found guilty of corrupting the minds of the youth of Athens and sentenced to death, on this date. While awaiting death rather than exile, he berates his students:
"All the time, it's 'Socrates, what is beauty?', 'Socrates, what is Truth?' but never once did any of you say, 'Socrates, Hemlock is poison!'
Galileo Galilei was born on February 15, 1564. He invented a telescope with which he later discovered craters on the moon, the satellites of Jupiter, and every luscious detail of the girl next door's nubile young form. Galileo's astronomical observations seemed to confirm Copernicus's theory that the Earth went around the sun rather than the other way around. Unfortunately, Copernicus's theory was heresy and therefore not supposed to be confirmed.
The church was in a tough spot. Galileo was every bit as Bad and Heretical as Copernicus had been, but they didn't want to inspire a bunch of angry Germans to start another church, as Martin Luther's followers had not long after the church's previous brush with Astronomy.
High-ranking church officials pleaded with the astronomer: "Come on, Galileo." "Please, Galileo." "Knock it off, Galileo."
But he wouldn't stop talking about the earth spinning around the sun. He couldn't even be persuaded to talk about something else, such as sports, the weather, or the girl next door's nubile young form. So they threatened to kill him.
At this point Galileo remembered that the sun actually did revolve around the earth, and the church rewarded his improved memory by giving him free room and board for the rest of his life (a level of hospitality sometimes referred to as "house arrest").
On February 15, 1763, Austria and Prussia signed the Treaty of Hubertusburg. This ended the Seven Years War, and just in time: the war had lasted almost exactly seven years!
February 15, 1898 -
The battleship U.S.S. Maine blows up in Havana Harbor, commencing a splendid little war against Spain that ends with the United States owning a colonial empire and Cuba under martial law. The situation is immortalized in the film "Citizen Kane" with the lines, "You supply the prose poetry. We'll supply the war."
February 15, 1933 -
An unsuccessful attempt on FDR's life by Joseph Zangara in Miami leaves Chicago mayor Anton Czermak dead. Zangara is electrocuted the following month.
February 15, 1936 -
At a speech in Berlin, Hitler confronts German industry with the challenge of creating the Volkswagen. Thus Ferdinand Porsche designs the Beetle which is now widely seen as the final solution to fahrvergnugen. But neither Hitler nor Porsche would have the foresight to realize how groovy the Beetle would be, man.
February 15, 1954 -
Ronald Reagan opens his stand-up act at the Las Vegas Ramona Room with the "Honey Brothers", a wacky slapstick troupe. His show was a smashing success.
February 15, 1961 -
The U.S. figure skating team is obliterated when their Sabena Airlines 707 crashes in Belgium. The crash was the first fatal accident involving a Boeing 707 in regular passenger service.
February 15, 1992 -
Jeffrey Dahmer sentenced to fifteen consecutive life terms for the murder of fifteen young and mostly ethnic boys. He completed his sentence when he was beaten to death in the shower by other inmates. Another reason to remain popular in prison.
February 15, 1995 -
The most wanted computer hacker in history, Kevin Mitnick, is arrested in Raleigh North Carolina for various offenses, one of which was breaking into security specialist Tsutomu Shimomura's computer. Mitnick now runs Mitnick Security Consulting, a computer security consultancy. Sometimes, crimes does pay.
And so it goes.
No comments:
Post a Comment