Look for these highlights tonight

Tonight's the last debate in the seemingly endless presidential campaign. Watch for the moment when John McCain tries to hold Barack Obama while Sarah Palin jumps on the stage and slaps him upside the head with a hockey stick.

It's Global Handwashing Day



Global Handwashing Day is a campaign to motivate and mobilize millions around the world to wash their hands with soap, the campaign is dedicated to raising awareness of handwashing with soap as a key approach to disease prevention. Remember, recent studies have found up to 60% of the people leaving public restrooms have not washed their hands. Remind me not to shake hands with anyone this afternoon.

Here's Today in History -

Today is St Teresa of Avila Day in Spain and Evacuation Day in Tunisia, I felt I had to know more. It turns out that Evacuation Day recognizes the important contributions made to the world of science by Tunisian proctologists. The less said about the gastroenterological rituals performed on this holiday the better.



Saint Teresa of Avila (one of my favorite saints, as this is the second metion of her this year) is also known as the Roving Nun (but should not be confused with the Wandering Nun, the Meandering Nun, or the Hopelessly Disoriented Nun). In case you still don't know who this Saint is - she's the one who was repeatedly pierced by God's golden shaft of light, again and again. She is the patron saint not only of Spain, but also bodily ills, headaches, laceworkers, opposition to Church Authorities, and people ridiculed for their piety.

She died in the arms of her close friend Anne of Saint Bartholomew, allegedly from Transverberation ("the crossing of verbs"). Her pierced heart is on display at Alba de Tormes, so if you're the kind of person that's interested in 400-year-old pierced human hearts you'll probably want to pay a visit. (You'll probably find it in the "Pierced Human Hearts Room" of the "Three-to-Five Hundred Year Old Internal Organ Wing.")

Saint Teresa famously said , "There are more tears shed over answered prayers than over unanswered prayers", (Truman Capote took this quote very seriously.) "God," she famously prayed, "deliver me from sullen saints!" Friedrich Nietzsche, who was born on this day in 1844, apparently shared her sentiments if not her tactics.



October 15, 1582 -
Finally, with the formal implementation of the Gregorian calendar by Pope Gregory XIII, this day actually exists in Italy, Poland, Portugal, and Spain. The calendar jumped from October 4 directly by October 15. People are generally relieved but never quite get over the feeling that they missed something during those 11 days.

October 15, 1940 -
Two of the most famous men in the world, not only had superficially similar looks, most famously their mustaches, but were born only four days apart in April of 1889 and both grew up in relative poverty. One of them decides to take a hugh risk and release a film taking advantage of this freakish similarity.



The Great Dictator, directed by and starring Charlie Chaplin, released on this date, bitterly satirizes Nazism and Adolf Hitler, culminating in an overt political plea to defy fascism. The film is exceptional in its period, in the days prior to American entry into World War II, as the United States was still formally at peace with Nazi Germany. Well before the full extent of the horrors of Nazism had been uncovered, Chaplin's film advanced a stirring, controversial condemnation of Hitler, fascism, and the Nazis, the latter of whom he excoriates in the film as "machine men, with machine minds and machine hearts".


October 15, 1951 -
A former starlet convinced the alcoholic, womanizing head of a television network to run the TV version of her somewhat successful radio program. I Love Lucy, the television situation comedy, starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, also featuring Vivian Vance and William Frawley, goes on to run on CBS for 181 episodes (including the "lost" Christmas episode and original pilot). Then, the show introduced three more seasons, running from 1957 to 1960, known as The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour (while Ball and Arnez go through an acrimonious divorce). I Love Lucy won five Emmy Awards and received numerous nominations. In 2002, it was ranked #2 on TV Guide's top 50 greatest shows of all time, behind Seinfeld and ahead of The Honeymooners. In 2007, it was placed on Time Magazine's (unranked) list of "100 Best TV Shows of All-TIME".



I Love Lucy was the most-watched show in the United States in four of its six seasons, and was the first to end its run at the top of the ratings (to be matched only by The Andy Griffith Show and Seinfeld), although it did not have a formal series finale episode. Episodes of I Love Lucy are still syndicated in dozens of languages across the world.

October 15, 1964 -


Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev was too busy pounding his shoe at every official meeting to realize that he was ousted and replaced by Alexei Kosygin and Leonid Brezhnev.

October 15, 1990 -


Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev gives up the practice of shoe banging practices of the Soviet Premier all together and was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

October 15, 1991 -


The Senate confirmed Judge Clarence Thomas as an associate justice of the U.S. Supreme Court by a vote of 52-48, the closest confirmation vote in court history. Sorry but there's nothing funny I can say about this as we're stuck with this guy until heart disease or stroke carry him away.

October 15, 2002 -


Former ImClone Chief Executive Officer Samuel Waksal pleaded guilty to insider trading as part of an ongoing investigation into the trading of shares from his biotech company, which also involved home decor diva and Waksal friend Martha Stewart. And that wasn't a good thing for her.


And so it goes

Keep it up

Whoever slipped Wall St. the Viagra - Thanks.

Today in History:

October 14, 1651 -
Massachusetts passed laws prohibiting the poor from dressing excessively, on this date. It was felt that persons of limited means should save their money and learn to get by with simple vinaigrettes.

October 14, 1893-
Lillian Diana Gish, American stage, screen and television actress whose film acting career spanned 75 years, from 1912 to 1987, was born on this date. She was a prominent film star of the 1910s and 1920s, particularly associated with the films of director D.W. Griffith, including her leading role in Griffith's seminal Birth of a Nation (1915). Her sound-era film included a memorable role in the 1955 cult thriller Night of the Hunter. She closed her career in the 1987 film The Whales of August.



It would be difficult to brief sum up this brilliant actress' career, but the always cantankerous Bette Davis may have paid her the ultimate back-handed compliment. Complaining about her co-star in the "Whales of August", Miss Davis was reported to have said, "How can I compete with her in a scene, she invented the goddamn close-up."

October 14, 1912 -
Former U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt, campaigning for a return to office, was shot in Milwaukee by a saloonkeeper named John Schrank. What saves Teddy was the bullet lodged in Roosevelt's chest only after hitting both his steel eyeglass case and a copy of his speech he was carrying in his jacket. Roosevelt declined suggestions that he go to the hospital, and delivered his scheduled speech. He spoke vigorously for ninety minutes. His opening comments to the gathered crowd were, "I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose." Afterwards, doctors determined that he was not seriously wounded and that it would be more dangerous to attempt to remove the bullet than to leave it in his chest. Roosevelt carried it with him until he died.



Teddy Roosevelt, superhero.

October 14, 1917 -


The German spy Mata Hari, a Dutchwoman named Margaretha Geertruida Zelle, was executed by the French on this date. There wasn't much actual evidence of espionage, but she had been seen naked with German officers and the French considered this distasteful enough to kill her.

(I think I may have killed her off early this year. Sorry about that Margaretha.)

October 14, 1944 -
Field Marshal Rommel (James Mason) of Germany was visited by two of Hitler's personal staff. They informed him that he was suspected of involvement in the July 20th plot to assassinate the Fuhrer and that he would therefore be required either to (a) stand trial and die, or (b) just die. They brought some poison along to facilitate his decision.



Hitler always liked him.

October 14, 1947 -
American pilot Chuck Yeager broke the sound barrier in a rocket-powered airplane, on this date. Yeager insisted it was already broken and consequently refused to repair it despite repeated admonitions by his mother. It remains broken to this day.

(The sound barrier should not be confused with the Long Island Sound barrier, sometimes referred to as the Throg's Neck Bridge.)

October 14, 1959 -
Actor and Nazi sympathizer Errol Flynn, dubbed "the most despicable human being yet born" (and that was by a friend), dies of a heart attack in Vancouver. Flynn reported slept anything with a pulse including (but not limited to) Truman Capote, Howard Hughes, as well as countless Hollywood starlets.



Presumably, not at the same time.

And so it goes

Happy Arbitrary Columbus Day

Here's your Today in History -

October 13, 54 -
Roman Emperor Claudius I (Derek Jacobi) consumes a favorite mushroom dish prepared by his fourth wife, Agrippina. What he does not know is that the meal is laced with the toxin of the Amanita phalloides mushroom. Feeling ill the next morning, Claudius summons his personal physician. Unfortunately, the doctor happens to be a co-conspirator in the scheme, administering a colocynth enema which kills Claudius instantly.

So remember kids, avoid all doctor prescribed poisoned enemas.

October 13, 1792-


It was on this day in Washington D.C. that the cornerstone was laid for the presidential residence, now known as the White House. The Frenchman, Pierre L'Enfant, who designed Washington, D.C. wanted the residence to look like the palace of Versailles. George Washington thought that was a little too fancy, so he got an Irish architect named James Hoban to reduce the design to one-fifth of its original size. Washington laid the cornerstone and supervised the construction. John Adams was the first president to call it home.



People nicknamed it the White House from the very beginning. There was a coat of whitewash brushed on the sandstone to protect it against winter. Thomas Jefferson was the one who installed flushing toilets. Andrew Jackson got the first shower. Martin Van Buren brought in central heating. Rutherford B. Hayes introduced the telephone. Benjamin Harrison had it wired for electricity. President Truman brought in the first TV set.

October 13, 1972 -


Due to poor visibility, a Uruguayan Air Force plane carrying the Montevideo Old Christians Rugby Club crashes high in the Chilean Andes. Of the 45 people aboard the flight, only 27 survive the crash, and just 16 make it to their rescue 72 days later.



How did they do it? Cannibalism. According to one survivor, "the slight browning of the flesh gave it an immeasurably better flavor, softer than beef but with much the same taste." So there you go, it doesn't taste just like chicken.

October 13, 1988 -


A report published in the journal Nature declares the Turin shroud to be a 13th century fake. Although carbon-14 testing places the shroud's fabrication somewhere between 1260 and 1390 AD, true believers spend much of the next several years attempting to explain away the radiocarbon test results.

And so it goes.

Happy 'Real' Columbus Day.

October 12, 1492 -


Christopher Columbus, not the brightest bulb in the explorers club, reached America, making his first landing in the New World on one of the Bahamas Islands. Columbus believed he had reached India.




Here's your Today in History -

October 12, 1915 -


British nurse Edith Cavell, 49, was executed by a German firing squad in Brussels for helping Allied soldiers escape from German-occupied Belgium during World War I. The night before her execution she told the Anglican chaplain, Rev. Gahan, who had been allowed to see her, "Patriotism is not enough, I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone." These words are inscribed on her statue in St. Martin's Place, near Trafalgar Square in London.

Her final words to the German pastor, Le Saur were recorded as 'Ask Mr. Gahan to tell my loved ones later on that my soul, as I believe, is safe, and that I am glad to die for my country.' Pretty tough cookie.

October 12, 1960 -


At a U.N. general assembly, Soviet Premier Nikita Khruschev pounded his desk with his shoe, on this date. This resulted in the popular stereotype of the Soviet Dictator who pounds his desk with his shoe.

In fact, many Soviet Dictators did not pound their desks with their shoes. They had their deputies do it for them.

October 12, 1966 -
This was a particularly busy date in history. Sammy Davis, Jr. makes a cameo appearance on the ABC television series Batman, during one of their legendary Batclimbs.



Rumors began in earnest, on this date, that Paul is dead. However, the Beatle somehow persists in making several public appearances for years. Today, Vegas odds makers are making it even money that John and George, though, are definitely dead and not just holding their breath.




October 12, 1970 -
During his court martial for the My Lai Massacre, Lt. William Calley testifies that Cpt. Ernest Medina had ordered that anybody they couldn't move would be "wasted." Which is why Calley said he and his men killed 350 Vietnamese, including more than 100 civilian men, women, and children.

October 12, 1973 -


U.S. President Richard Nixon nominated House Minority Leader Gerald Ford for the vice presidency to replace Spiro Agnew, who had resigned two days earlier. Interestingly, Ford was on the Warren Commission investigating the Kennedy assassination. I'm not saying that there is a connection but it gives you pause.


October 12, 1997 -
Folk singer John Denver dies when the small plane he was piloting crashed into Monterey Bay on the California coast.



Divers later recover most of the body, but not the head. Denver is ultimately identified by his fingerprints. I guess you really didn't want to know that part.


And so it goes

Take this quick test.

Are you better off now than you were eight days ago?


Here's your Today in History -

October 11, 1899 -


The Bores of South Africa declared war on Great Britain in the hopes of generating interest, on this date. (The war should not be confused with the Boar War, which had been cancelled on account of tusks.)

October 11, 1910 -
Ex-president Theodore Roosevelt becomes the first U.S. president to fly in an airplane. He flew for four minutes with Arch Hoxsey in a plane built by the Wright Brothers at Kinloch Field (Lambert-St. Louis International Airport), St. Louis, Missouri. He was having such a good time, they had to club him like a baby seal to get him out of the plane. Bully.

October 11, 1952 -
Referee Francis DeReus halts the college football match between Wesleyan and Dubuque because of the profanity spewing from Dubuque's coach, Maco Mercer. History does not record which vulgarities were involved. Wanna guess?

October 11, 1961 -
Leonard Marx, Chico, one of the Marx Brothers, died on this date. Chico Marx was a compulsive womanizer, and had a lifelong gambling habit. His addiction cost him millions of dollars by his own account. When an interviewer asked him how much money he'd lost from gambling, he answered, "Find out how much money Groucho's got. That's how much I've lost." Gummo Marx, in an interview years after Chico's death, said, "Chico's favorite people were actors who gambled, producers who gambled, and women who screwed." Chico's lifelong gambling addiction compelled him to continue in show business long after his brothers had retired in comfort from their Hollywood income, and in the early 40s he found himself playing in the same small, cheap halls he had begun his career in 30 years previously.

For a while in the 1930s and 1940s Chico led a big band. Singer Mel Tormé began his professional career singing with the Chico Marx Orchestra.







October 11, 1975 -
Cold open of a new TV program:



And so began the long running (some say too long running) comedy variety show, with George Carlin as its host, it was called NBC's Saturday Night, because ABC featured a program at the same time titled Saturday Night Live with Howard Cosell. After ABC canceled the Cosell program in 1976, the NBC program changed its name to Saturday Night Live on March 26, 1977. The first episode featured two musical guests Billy Preston (Nothing From Nothing & Fancy Lady ) and Janis Ian (At Seventeen & In The Winter).


October 11, 1976 -


The Gang of Four were arrested in Peking, on this date. Their first album, "Entertainment!" is released two years later. After re-education, eventually, so are they.



October 11, 1978 -
Former Sex Pistols bassist Sid Vicious (Gary Oldman) stabs girlfriend Nancy Spungeon (Chloe Webb) to death in room 100 of New York's Chelsea Hotel. Because Sid remembers nothing about the crime, theories include robbery and an abortive suicide pact. Vicious dies of an ugly heroin overdose shortly before his trial.



Folks, there are no pretty heroin overdoses.

October 11, 1981 -
Andy Kaufman successfully defends his World Intergender Wrestling Champion title in Atlantic City, by defeating Playboy magazine's Miss September, pinning her at the 18-minute mark.



And so it goes

I don't think they quite meant it that way.

This morning's Metro newspaper's headline announcing the world declining stock markets blared - :World left asking: When will it end?" I'm hoping that the world hasn't become suicidal and someone can talk it off the ledge.

I just realized this morning that W. can add another failed business to his sterling resume - the US economy.

Today in History:

October 10, 1780 -


Over 48 hours, a slow-moving hurricane decimates Barbados, killing 4,326 (however according to the island's governor, "fortunately few people of consequence were among the number"). Over the next week, the catastrophic storm system moves on to Martinique (9,000 dead) and St. Eustatius (4-5,000). The unprecedented Great Hurricane of 1780 remains the deadliest Atlantic hurricane on record.


October 10, 1910 -
Tau Epsilon Phi (TEF, commonly pronounced "TEP") is a predominantly American fraternity with approximately 40 active chapters, chiefly located at universities and colleges in the Northeastern United States. The organization was founded on October 10, 1910, by ten Jewish men at Columbia University, as a response to the existence of similar organizations who would not admit Jewish members. The national headquarters is currently located in Voorhees, New Jersey and the official colors of the organization are lavender and white (although most chapters use purple instead of lavender).



Why is is important. Several of the readers and I (and well as George Stephanopoulos) are members of this fraternity. And you thought "The Skull and Bones" Society rules this country.


October 10, 1911 -
The Chinese revolution began in Hankow, on this date. The revolution spread rapidly, resulting in the abdication of six-year-old Henry Pu-Yi, the Academy Award-winning "Last Emperor" of China. On the same day, the Panama Canal was officially opened, resulting in a popular palindrome. No palindrome was developed for the Chinese revolution, and this would later result in civil war.



October 10, 1962 -
The British Broadcasting Company bans "Monster Mash" -- the Halloween-themed novelty tune by Bobby "Boris" Pickett -- for being "offensive." The BBC never specifies precisely what it is about the song that's problematic.



October 10, 1969 -
King Crimson releases their debut album, In the Court of the Crimson King, considered by many to be the first progressive rock album. Turn it up loud, spark it up and don't bogart that joint.



October 10, 1973 -


Bribe-happy Vice President Spiro T. Agnew finally resigns, after pleading guilty to federal income tax evasion. In addition to his venality, Agnew is chiefly remembered for this offhand remark during the 1968 campaign: "What's the matter with the fat Jap?" It should be noted that humorist Dave Barry points out that one can rearrange the letters in "Spiro Agnew" to spell "Grow A Penis."



October 10, 1985 -


Cheap wine hawker, voice-over whore and movie legend Orson Welles, whose remarkably innovative Citizen Kane of 1941 was named the best American-made picture of all time in a 1998 American Film Institute poll, died of a heart attack at the age of 70.



Yul Brynner, Russian-born, Academy Award-winning Broadway and Hollywood actor died on October 10, 1985 (the same day as Orson Welles, his co star in The Battle of Neretva) in New York City. The cause of death was lung cancer brought on by smoking. Throughout his life, Brynner was always seen with a cigarette in his hand. In January 1985, nine months before his death, he gave an interview on Good Morning America, expressing his desire to make an anti-smoking commercial. A clip from that interview was made into just such a public service announcement by the American Cancer Society, and released after his death; it includes the warning "Now that I'm gone, I tell you, don't smoke." If only he listened to himself.



October 10, 1991 -
Disgruntled postal worker Joseph Harris kills four people in Ridgewood, New Jersey armed with an Uzi, pipe bomb, and a samurai sword. When he finally surrenders to police, the gunman is wearing a ninja costume and a gas mask.

I believe this IS the definition of "disgruntled".

And so it goes

You know it's getting bad,

when the entire country of Iceland is on the brink of bankruptcy and is begging Russia for a bail out. Wow, what would Uncle Joe think?




Today in History -

October 9, 1000 -


Leif Ericson discovers Vinland and becomes the first known European to walk in North America, on this date (or not). In 1964, the United States Congress authorized and requested the President to proclaim October 9 of each year as "Leif Erikson Day". The day after Leif Ericson Day in 1965, Yale University astonished the world with its Vinland Map, a 1440 transcription of a map believed to have been originally drawn by Ericson himself (or possibly Eriksson, but certainly not Eiriksson) around 1000 A.D., and which appeared to depict parts of Canada. Just a few years ago, more evidence supporting the authenticity of the map was revealed, lending further support to the conclusion that there were Vikings in North America five centuries before Columbus soiled his first diaper.



This is an exciting development, because it will almost certainly necessitate the development of Viking reservations and the establishment of Viking-run casinos.

Still more exciting are recent scientific findings that suggest caucasians may have existed in North America prior to being displaced by the so-called native-Americans who were later visited by Vikings prior to being utterly displaced by still more caucasians.

But this is also deeply troubling, because there was probably someone here before those original caucasians.

In the interests of fairness, I enthusiastically endorses the endowment of every American with their own casino.

On this date in 1776 a group of Spanish Missionaries, led by Father Francisco Palou founds Mission San Francisco de Asis in what is today San Francisco. Their arrival displaced a small Native American population and therefore came to be known as the "missionary imposition."



October 9, 1582 -
It's true, tomorrow never comes. Once again, because of the implementation of the Gregorian calendar this day does not exist in this year in Italy, Poland, Portugal and Spain. This leads to more mass confusion and most of the populous just go back to bed and give up belief in calendars.

October 9, 1934 -


While the Boomtown Rats don't like Monday. King Alexander I of of Yugoslavia doesn't like Tuesdays. On account of the deaths of three members of his family on a Tuesday, Alexander refused to undertake any public functions on that day. On Tuesday 9 October 1934, however, he had no choice, as he was arriving in Marseille to start a state visit to the Third French Republic, to strengthen the two countries' alliance in the Little Entente. While being driven in a car through the streets along with French Foreign Minister Louis Barthou, a gunman, Vlado Chernozemski, stepped from the street and shot the King and the chauffeur. The Minister was accidentally shot by a French policeman and died later.

It was one of the first assassinations captured on film; the shooting occurred straight in front of the cameraman, who was only feet away at the time. The cameraman captured not merely the assassination but the immediate aftermath; the body of the chauffeur (who had been killed instantly) became jammed against the brakes of the car, allowing the cameraman to continue filming from within inches of the King for a number of minutes afterwards.

The assassin, Vlado Chernozemski — driver of the leader of the Internal Macedonian Revolutionary Organization Ivan Mihailov and an experienced marksman — was cut down by the sword of a mounted French policeman, then beaten by the crowd. By the time he was removed from the scene, he was already dead.

The film record of Alexander I's assassination remains one of the most historic pieces of newsreel in existence (film footage), alongside the film of Tsar Nicholas II of Russia's coronation, the funerals of Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom and Emperor Franz Josef of Austria, and the assassination of John F. Kennedy.



October 9, 1958 -
Pope Pius XII suffered a most 'unfortunate' accident after his demise. The Pope died during an exceptionally hot summer.



When Pius died, Professor Riccardo Galeazzi-Lisi who was treating the ill pontiff (Galeazzi-Lisi was not a doctor but an optometrist) turned embalmer, trying to hide his crimes. Rather than slow the process of decay, the doctor-mortician's self-made technique sped it up, leading the Holy Father's corpse to disintegrate rapidly, turning purple, with the corpse's nose falling off. The stench caused by the decay was such that guards had to be rotated every 15 minutes, otherwise they would collapse. The condition of the body became so bad that the remains were secretly removed at one point for further treatments before being returned in the morning.



Very messy indeed.


October 9, 1967 -


On 8 October, Che Guevara was captured while leading a detachment with Simeón Cuba Sarabia in Bolivia. According to some soldiers present at the capture, during the skirmish as they approached Guevara, he allegedly shouted, "Do not shoot! I am Che Guevara and worth more to you alive than dead." Upon hearing of Guevara's capture, new was relayed to CIA headquarters at Langley, Virginia, via CIA stations in various South American nations.

The President of Bolivia, René Barrientos promptly ordered his execution upon being informed of his capture. Guevara was taken to a dilapidated schoolhouse in the nearby village of La Higuera where he was held overnight. Early the next afternoon he was executed. The executioner was Mario Terán, a Sergeant in the Bolivian army who had drawn a short straw after arguments over who got the honor of killing Guevara broke out among the soldiers. To make the bullet wounds appear consistent with the official story sold to the public, Felix Rodriguez, the CIA asset, ordered the soldier who pulled the trigger to aim carefully to make it appear that Che had been killed in action during a clash with the Bolivian army, and thus to help cover up the official secret assassination. Guevara received multiple shots to the legs, so as to avoid maiming his face for identification purposes and simulate combat wounds in an attempt to conceal his ex judicial execution.

Che Guevara had some last words before his death; he allegedly said to his executioner, "I know you are here to kill me. Shoot, coward, you are only going to kill a man." His body was lashed to the landing skids of a helicopter and flown to neighboring Vallegrande where it was laid out on a laundry tub in the local hospital and displayed to the press.



After the execution, Rodríguez took several personal items of Guevara's including a Rolex watch, often proudly showing them to reporters during the ensuing years. Today, some of these belongings, including his flashlight, are on display at the CIA. After a military doctor surgically amputated his hands, Bolivian army officers transferred Guevara's cadaver to an undisclosed location and refused to reveal whether his remains had been buried or cremated. And that boys and girls, was your US dollars at work in 1967.

October 9, 1985 -


Central Park's Strawberry Fields is dedicated on John Lennon's birthday, by Yoko Ono, who had underwritten the project..




And so it goes

Two down, one more to go

Well, the debate last night did not seem to have a clear winner but we can be thankful that Sen. McCain did not snap and try to throttle Sen. Obama. These guys are not going to be appearing at any National Brotherhood Week stops anytime soon.



Here's your Today in History:

October 8, 1871-
Mrs O'Leary's cow starts The Great Chicago Fire destroying more than 17,000 buildings, killed more than 300 people and left 90,000 homeless. That same day, a forest fire broke out at Peshtigo, Wis., eventually killing about 2,500 people while burning some 850 square miles (making it the largest lost of life by fire in the United States), Holland, Michigan, and Manistee, Michigan. Bad cow.

Catherine O'Leary seemed the perfect scapegoat: she was a woman, immigrant, and Catholic-–a combination which did not fare well in the political c limate of the time in Chicago. This story was circulating in Chicago even before the flames had died out and was noted in the Chicago Tribune's first post-fire issue. Michael Ahern, the reporter that came with the story would retract it in 1893, admitting that it was fabricated.



More recently, amateur historian Richard Bales has come to believe it was actually started when Daniel "Pegleg" Sullivan, who first reported the fire, ignited some hay in the barn while trying to steal some milk. However, evidence recently reported in the Chicago Tribune by Anthony DeBartolo suggests Louis M. Cohn may have started the fire during a craps game. Cohn may also have admitted to starting the fire in a lost will, according to Alan Wykes in his 1964 book The Complete Illustrated Guide to Gambling.

October 8, 1582 -


Because of the implementation of the Gregorian calendar this day does not exist in this year in Italy, Poland, Portugal and Spain. This leads to mass confusion and most of the populous just go back to bed and wait for tomorrow.

October 8, 1869 -
Franklin Pierce, an American politician and the fourteenth President of the United States, serving from 1853 to 1857 is to date the only president from New Hampshire and was the first president born in the nineteenth century. His good looks and inoffensive personality caused him to make many friends, but he suffered tragedy in his personal life (all three of his children died in childhood) and as p resident subsequently made decisions which were widely criticized and divisive in their effects, thus giving him the reputation as one of the worst presidents in U.S. history.



After losing the Democratic nomination for a second term, Pierce reportedly quipped "there's nothing left to do but get drunk" (quoted also as "after the White House what is there to do but drink?") which he apparently did frequently. He once ran over an elderly woman while driving a carriage drunk. Franklin Pierce died in Concord, New Hampshire on this date at 64 years old, from cirrhosis of the liver, thus ending his miserable life

October 8, 1918 -
Sgt. Alvin York (Gary Cooper) of Tennessee became a World War I hero by single-handedly capturing a hill in the Argonne Forest of France, killing 20 enemy soldiers and capturing 132 others.



October 8, 1919-
The first U.S. transcontinental air race began with 63 planes competing in the round-trip aerial derby between California and New York. Each way took about three days.

October 8, 1928 -
Police raid 20 speakeasies in New York City in an effort to crack down on illegal liquor sales. Police remain blind drunk in New York for three days afterwards.

October 8, 1956-


New York Yankees pitcher Donald James Larson pitches the first perfect game in a World Series--no walks, no hits, no runs. His perfect game remains the only no-hitter of any type ever pitched in postseason play.

October 8, 1993 -


Ted Danson appears in blackface at a Friars Club roast. His offensive comments amuse Whoopi Goldberg but the incident becomes a great embarrassment.

And so it goes

Fuld Blames Lehman's Fall on Rumors, `Storm of Fear'

(Bloomberg News)
Richard Fuld, the chief executive officer of Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc., said the investment bank was felled by rumors, out-of-date rules and slow reactions by regulators that fueled a ``storm of fear'' on Wall Street.

Fuld, 62, blamed ``a litany of destabilizing factors'' for Lehman's failure, including widening costs to borrow, accounting rules that forced it to write down the value of its assets to fire-sale prices, short selling without having to borrow the shares of a company, and imminent credit downgrades by rating companies. He said he took ``full responsibility'' for the decisions he made, and said Lehman ``did not mislead investors.''

Let's dedicate the Lewis Carroll classics to Mr. Fuld's 'heartfelt' weeping and gnashing of teeth.



Today in History-

October 7, 1849 -


On this date, Edgar Allen Poe was found in a delirious state (Maryland) outside a Baltimore voting place (saloon). Mr. Poe was often found delirious, especially outside voting places, but this time his delirium was serious and he died.



October 7, 1952-
American Bandstand premieres. It premiered locally as a live show, Bandstand, on Philadelphia television station WFIL-TV (Channel 6, now WPVI-TV) on this date in "Studio 'B'", which was located in their just-completed addition to the original 1947 building (4548 Market Street) and was hosted by Bob Horn, with Lee Stewart as co-host. Dick Clark did not become associated with the show until 1956.

October 7, 1855 -


It was on this day in San Francisco at the Six Gallery, the poet Allen Ginsberg read his poem "Howl" for the first time. The poem begins, "I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness." His friend Jack Kerouac sat on the edge of the stage and when Ginsberg was done, the audience exploded in applause.



When Lawrence Ferlinghetti published the poem "Howl" out of his City Lights bookstore in San Francisco, he was arrested and tried for obscenity, but he was found not guilty.



October 7, 1917 -
June Allyson, Golden Globe-winning American film and television actress and Depends spokesperson was born on this date.

October 7, 1952 -
It's Vladimir Putin's birthday. Do you think Sarah Palin is going to open the kitchen window and shout out 'Happy Birthday' to him?



October 7, 1960 "Route 66" premieres



October 7, 1964 -
Walter W. Jenkins, chief White House aide and longtime friend of President Lyndon B. Johnson, is arrested for disorderly conduct two blocks from the White House. Jenkins was discovered in a YMCA pay toilet with another man. Ultimately, Jenkins is forced to resign, so as not to jeopardize Johnson's re-election campaign. Jenkins stated that during his arrest, his mind had been "befuddled by fatigue, alcohol, physical illness, and lack of food."



Yeah, that's it, befuddled by fatigue... Nothing is new under the sun, or in a men's public restroom.


And so it goes

It's getting nasty now.

There are 30 days until the election and I suspect that we will be wallowing in the mud so vile, that comments like, "he pals around with terrorists" will seem like compliments. Remember to get all of your shots.

Today is Armed Forces Day in Egypt and Ivy Day in Ireland. (Ivy Day is not a horticultural celebration. The date marks the anniversary of the 1891 death of Irish nationalist Charles Stewart Parnell; Irish favoring home rule traditionally pin a bit of ivy to their lapels in his honor. Ivy Day should not be confused with I.V. Day, celebrated only by drips.)

Here's your Today in History -

October 6, 1014 -


Czar Samuil of Bulgaria dies of a heart attach after an army of 15,000 of his men is returned, blinded by his enemy Emperor Basil of the Byzantine Empire. One out of every hundred of his men was permitted to keep one eye, such that they were able to return home. For this victory Basil earned the title Bulgaroctonus, slayer of Bulgars. I guess we shouldn't complain.

October 6 is the anniversary of one of the greatest moments in the history of literary criticism. It was on that date in 1536 that William Tyndale was recognized for his important contribution to world literature—the first translation of the New Testament into English—by being tied to the stake, strangled, and his dead body then burnt.



Ah, when men were men, women were women, and critics were murderous, torch-wielding fanatics!

October 6, 1976 -
During a televised debate, President and candidate Gerald Ford asserts that there is no Soviet domination of Eastern Europe. Ford loses the election. (I wonder if He and Dan Quayle ever had lunch.)



October 6, 1980 -
John Lydon, of band PiL and formerly the Sex Pistols, arrested for disorderly conduct in a Dublin bar. What a shock!!!



October 6, 1981 -
During a commemoration of the Yom Kippur War, armed gunmen leap from a truck and begin shooting into the reviewing stand at Egyptian President Anwar Sadat. Along with Sadat, the assassins kill eight others.



And so it goes

Mavericky mavericks

Once again, Tina Fey hit it out of the ball park. But watch Queen Latifah's reactions - priceless:



October 5, 1974 -
Endless Summer, a compilation album by The Beach Boys of hits from the pre-Pet Sounds period, was yhe number 1 album in the U.S. The album spent 155 weeks on the Billboard album chart and sold over three million copies.









Today in History (very abbreviated) -

On October 5, 1877, Chief Joseph, exhausted and disheartened, surrendered in the Bears Paw Mountains of Montana, forty miles south of Canada ending the Nez Percé war. Thunder Rolling Down the Mountain was born in 1840 in the Wallowa Valley of what is now northeastern Oregon. He took the name of his father, (Old) Chief Joseph, or Joseph the Elder. When his father died in 1871, Joseph, or Joseph the Younger, was elected his father's successor. He continued his father's efforts to secure the Nez Percé claim to their land while remaining peaceful towards the whites.



" I am tired of fighting. Our chiefs are killed; Looking-glass is dead. Too-hul-hul-suit is dead. The old men are all dead. It is the young men, now, who say ’yes’ or ’no’[that is, vote in council]. He who led on the young men [Joseph’s brother, Ollicut] is dead. It is cold, and we have no blankets. The little children are freezing to death. My people--some of them--have run away to the hills, and have no blankets, no food. No one knows where they are---perhaps freezing to death. I want to have time to look for my children, and see how many of them I can find;maybe I shall find them among the dead. Hear me, my chiefs; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands, I will fight no more forever!"


Ray Kroc was born on October 5, 1902. Mr Kroc invented McDonalds, which caused the collapse of the Soviet Union and made us all fat, allowing us to sue them, which will therefore someday make us all rich.



October 5, 1989 -
Tibet's exiled spiritual leader, the 14th Dalai Lama (Tenzin Gyatso), was named the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize for nonviolent efforts to free his homeland from China.



The Committee’s citation read, “The Committee wants to emphasize the fact that the Dalai Lama in his struggle for the liberation of Tibet consistently has opposed the use of violence. He has instead advocated peaceful solutions based upon tolerance and mutual respect in order to preserve the historical and cultural heritage of his people.”

And so it goes.

O.J. Simpson found Guilty

Now that O.J. is probably going to prison, he can spend more time searching for the real killer(s) of this wife and Ron Goldman.

Today in History -

October 4, 1822-
Rutherford Hayes was born on this date , in Delaware, Ohio. That's not especially interesting in itself. Presidents, after all, must be born somewhere - and President Hayes was not the only one to have chosen Ohio. But consider: Jimmy Carter was born on October 1, 1924, in Plains, Georgia, and Chester Arthur was born on October 5, 1830, in Fairfield, Vermont. That's three presidential birthdays in a four-day period, a glut of presidential timber not to be found anywhere else on the calendar.



Hayes came into office by one electoral vote, accomplished nothing, and did not run for a second term.



Arthur came into office as James Garfield's vice-president and was promoted eight months later, upon Garfield's assassination. He accomplished nothing, and wasn't even nominated for a second term (although he does look a lot like Captain Kangaroo.)



Through no fault of his own, Carter was elected president in 1976 (and must therefore bear his share of responsibility for my own difficult misspent youth). He sought but was denied a second term.

Significance? Zero.


October 4, 1957 -


Sputnik 1, the first man-made satellite, was launched on this date, beginning the "space race." The satellite, built by Valentin Glushko, weighed 184 pounds and was launched by a converted Intercontinental Ballistic Missile (ICBM). Sputnik orbited the earth every 96 minutes at a maximum height of 584 miles. In 1958, it reentered the earth's atmosphere and burned up




October 4, 1969 -
A despondent Diane Linkletter jumps out the kitchen window of her tenth-story apartment in West Hollywood, California. Even before an autopsy can be performed, television personality Art Linkletter blames his daughter's death on a bad LSD trip. Even though the toxicology report disputes Art's assertion, the LSD story persists. If you have never seen the "Diane Linkletter Story" starring Divine, you haven't lived.




October 4, 1970 -
Janis Joplin accidentally overdoses on an unusually-pure dose of heroin at the Landmark Motor Hotel in Los Angeles.




October 4, 1976 -


Earl Butz, President Ford's Secretary of Agriculture, is forced to resign after newspapers print a comment he made regarding race relations (and I will paraphrase for those with weak constitutions) : "I'll tell you what the coloreds want. It's three things: first, a tight female reproductive organ; second, loose shoes; and third, a warm place to go to the bathroom."


October 4, 1978 -
Tammy Wynette is kidnapped at gunpoint in a Nashville shopping center. The masked gunman drives the country music star 80 miles away, releasing her only after inflicting a savage beating. The assailant is never caught.



October 4, 1986 -
Network news anchorman Dan Rather is mugged in New York City. The attacker, one William Tager, shouts the question "What's the frequency, Kenneth?" during the beating. While the "frequency" refers to the wavelength of the transmissions that CBS was beaming into Tager's head, history is still unclear on exactly who "Kenneth" is or why R.E.M. would record a song about it. It is rumored that the attack occurred because of Rather's uncanny resemblance to underground filmmaker Kenneth Anger.




October 4, 1989 -


Secretariat, 1973 triple crown winner and one of the greatest athletes of all time, is euthanized in Paris, Kentucky. He was 19. Not surprisingly, horse appeared on the menu of several Parisian Bistros that night.

And so it goes.