Read the ramblings of Dr. Caligari. Hopefully you will find that Time does wound all heels.
You no longer need to be sad that nowadays there is so little useless information.
Macbeth is killed in the Battle of Lumphanan in Aberdeenshire. He had been king of Scotland for 17 years.
August 15 1935 - Will Rogers, the most famous man in America, dies near Barrow, Alaska when his sea plane plunges into a lagoon. At the time, he and one-eyed aviator Wiley Post were surveying possible flight paths between Seattle and the Soviet Union.
Remember kids, let this be a lesson to you - don't take a flight with a drunken, one eyed pilot.
August 15,1945 - Though Harry Truman, still getting over the drunken bender he was on, still not quite believing that he was President and got to drop not one but two atomic bombs, had announced the Japanese surrender the day before, it was on this day in 1945 that the Allies officially declared V-J Day.
August 15, 1961 - Two days after sealing off free passage between East and West Berlin with barbed wire, East German authorities begin taking Robert Frost a little to literally and built a wall--the Berlin Wall--to permanently close off access to the West. For the next 28 years, the heavily fortified Berlin Wall stood as the most tangible symbol of the Cold War--a literal "iron curtain" dividing Europe.
August 15, 1965 - The Beatles play to nearly 60,000 fans at Shea Stadium in New York City, marking the birth of stadium rock.
August 15 1969 - The Woodstock Music and Arts Fair began on this date in 1969, on Max Yasger's farm in upstate New York. The greatest gathering of marketing and advertising professionals in American history, the festival featured the musical artists behind some of today's hottest commercial jingles.
August 15 1994 -
International terrorist Carlos the Jackal is jailed in France. The assassin was turned over by the Sudanese government after he checked into a Khartoum hospital for varicose vein surgery on one of his testicles. Sometimes this stuff just writes itself.
Today is the birthday of Napoleon Bonaparte (1769), Jim Webb (1946), Rose Marie (1925), Oscar Peterson (1925), Phyllis Schlafly (1924), Edna Ferber (1887), Sir Walter Scott (1771) and for my money, one to the greatest Americans,
Julia Child, American Spy and Chef (1912).
Oh, and Liz (but it would be impolite to say which year)
"Sblood, go out and buy a creamiscle or the terrorists have surely won.
Here's your Today in History:
August 14, 410 -
Barbarians at the Gate, indeed. Visigoths under King Alaric sack Rome after slave co-conspirators open the city gates for them. Looting lasts for six days. Now that must have been some party.
August 14, 1900 108 years ago today the western powers quelled the Boxer Rebellion in China. In the clearing stood the Boxers, fighters by their trade, and they carried the reminders of every glove that laid them down or cut them til they cried out, in their anger and their pain, they were leaving, they were leaving, but the fighter still remained.
Unless that was Simon and Garfunkel, in which case the Boxers were bitter, out-of-work Chinese boxers who didn't think the western powers should be allowed to control China's ports, despite the fact that everyone knew China was a poor backward country without any modern conveniences.
Emboldened by the belief that their magical boxing powers made them invulnerable to bullets, they demanded that westerners get out of China or die.
Westerners refused to get out. They crushed the rebellion, and boxing remains a neglected sport in China to this day.
August 14, 1945 - Over the radio, Hirohito announces his unconditional surrender to Allied forces, thus bringing an end to World War II. The Allied forces were so concerned that the emperor would kill himself before the broadcast that they had him pre-record his message. This broadcast is the first chance the Japanese people have had to hear their god-emperor's speaking voice. Because of the Japanese anathema to surrender and the formal, somewhat archaic Japanese used by the old Imperial Court the emperor spoke, most Japanese didn't really that they had actually surrendered until about a day later.
August 14, 1951 -
"...As it must to all men, death came to Charles Foster Kane."
10 years after the fictionalized version of his life premiered, Newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst dies at home in Beverly Hills, California.
August 14, 1965 -
Salvatore Bono and Cherilyn Sarkisian La Pierre capture #1 on the American pop charts with their song "I Got You Babe," launching the careers of Sonny & Cher.
August 14, 2126 - The next scheduled perihelion for the "Doomsday Rock," also known as the Swift-Tuttle Comet. The six-mile-diameter mass is thought to be roughly the same size as the asteroid which wiped out the dinosaurs and will probably come within 15 million miles of planet Earth.
No need to worry, according to the Mayan calendar, we will have already all died back in 2012. Have a good day.
Something escapes me here - I've never felt the need to bathe at the local Burger King on my birthday (or any day for that matter.) But hey, that's what's great about Burger King, you CAN have it your way.
I do love though that he is sanitized for our safety.
Here's your Today in History:
August 13, 1521 - After a seventy-five day siege, Hernando Cortes captured and destroyed the capital of the Aztec Empire, Tenochtitlan (Aztec for "Mexico City"). When the Spaniards fail to discover Montezuma's treasure, they torture Cuauhtemoc by pouring hot oil over his feet. The emperor responds by asking, "Am I on a bed of roses?" (Who knew the Aztecs were such comedians.)
It was important to defeat the Aztecs, because they were an Evil Empire that practiced Human Sacrifice and Difficult Spelling.
August 13, 1926 -
Minor league Evil Bastard (depending on your point of view) Fidel Castro is born on his father's 23,000-acre sugar cane plantation near Biran, Cuba. Would life as we know it have been much different if Castro had gotten that chance to play ball in the Major Leagues.
August 13, 1942 - Walt Disney's Bambi premieres in New York City. Most kids dreams, after seeing the movie, are never the same again.
August 13, 1961 - The city of Berlin split itself right down the middle forty-seven years ago today.
The Cold War was running pretty Hot back then. The Russians were Evil Soviet Bastards. They were so evil they convinced East Germany to shut West Germany out. East Germany locked the Brandenburg gate and threw away the key. Then, just to be absolutely safe, they built the Great Wall of Berlin, and assigned evil socialist soldiers to shoot any West Germans who tried to sneak into East Germany.
Oddly enough, no West Germans tried to sneak in.
The soldiers, being evil socialist bastards with guns and therefore needing desperately to shoot at someone, therefore shot at East Germans.
About a year later, for example, on August 17, 1962, 18-year-old Peter Fechter was shot by evil East German bastards as he tried to cross the Berlin Wall into West Germany. He bled to death in public view.
The guards who shot him were tracked down and convicted of manslaughter thirty-four years later.
Moral: you might think you can get away with shooting people just because you're a heavily-armed socialist bastard living in an evil socialist regime propped up by an evil socialist empire, but you can't.
Not really.
It may seem like you can, but just wait.
Eventually John F. Kennedy announced that he was a jelly-filled donut, Ronald Reagan asked Mr. Gorbachev to tear down this wall, Boris Yeltsin rode on a tank, and there didn't seem to be any real point in having a Wall any more. So they tore it down.
Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, former wife to Julius Caesar and mistress of Marc Anthony, commits suicide by means of venomous snakebite to the mammary gland.
August 12 1676 -
Wampanoag chieftain Metacom (or "Philip") is killed in a swamp near Mount Hope. Thus ends King Philip's War, the first war between Indians and European settlers. Unfortunately, the Indians (or Native American, for the PC of you in the crowd) have been on the losing side, for the most part, ever since.
August 12, 1813 - Austria declared war against Napoleon. An outraged England rushed to France's defense by declaring war against Austria exactly 101 years later.
August 12, 1898 -
The Spanish-American war ended. Spain released Cuba and gave Puerto Rico to the United States. Americans rushed to Puerto Rico in gleeful droves, only to discover that everyone spoke Spanish and there were no luaus or volcanoes. Their disappointment was profound. They took Hawaii later that same day.
August 12 1948 - Russian schoolteacher Oksana Kosenkina is injured when she jumps out the window of the Soviet Consulate in New York City. Soviet officials claim they had rescued her from "White Russian" kidnappers, but Kosenkina says she was trying to escape from the Soviets. The US later expels the consul general, and the Soviets close their consulate.
August 12 1953 -
In Siberia, the Soviet Union successfully tests its first thermonuclear device, based on Andrei Sakharov's fission-fusion "Layer Cake" design: alternating layers of uranium and hydrogen fuel sandwiched together and wrapped around a conventional Atomic Bomb. The fission explosion compresses the hydrogen, causing a fusion reaction. Hopefully this is no longer a state secret or boy am I in deep trouble.
August 12 1869 - In San Francisco, Emperor Norton I issues a stern edict outlawing both the Republican and Democratic political parties. Violators face a prison term of five-to-ten years. Not familiar with Norton I ? Consider, the true story of Emperor Joshua Norton.
Joshua Norton was a businessman in San Francisco in the 1800's. In the 1840's, just before the Gold Rush, he tried to corner the market on rice and failed. He went from being very wealthy to being destitute overnight and the experience completely shattered his reason. A couple of months after this event, he put on a formal admiral's uniform, complete with gold braid and epaulets and strode in to the office of the newspaper. He handed the editor a large, official looking proclamation which stated in quite formal language that, due to popular demand, he hereby declared himself Emperor Norton I of San Francisco, California, and Mexico. He bade all his subjects show him loyalty and the other courtesies due a person of such eminent stature.
From the pictures of Emperor Norton, it is immediately apparent that this guy has gone around the bend and ain't coming back. His eyes pointed in different directions, and neither one quite caught straight ahead. His uniform was formal to the point of almost gaudy and, at the same time, it was quite apparent that he and soap were not of regular acquaintance.
The editor, with a rich sense of humor, decided to publish the proclamation on the front page of the newspaper, in all seriousness. The citizens of San Francisco, being what they are, immediately decided that this sounded like a good idea and, by unanimous acclamation, accepted Norton as their Emperor. It is undoubtedly the only time in history they ever had an unanimous vote on anything.
He reigned for about forty years. During that time he ate in all of the finest restaurants and slept in the finest hotels for free -- because he was the Emperor. He had three seats permanently reserved in the front row of the San Francisco opera house -- one for him, and one each for his two dogs. Twice a year he would review the police and fire departments as they paraded by, and then he would make a grand speech to the assembled crowds. He printed his own money, which was accepted in business establishments around San Francisco as legal tender. When bicycles first came out, they got him a bicycle, too, and he looked all the more daft because of it. When one of his dogs died, 10,000 people turned out for the funeral to console their grief-stricken emperor. When the Civil War rolled around, he graciously offered his alliance and military support to Abraham Lincoln, who politely declined.
Make no mistake about it, the Emperor Norton was as good a loony as you have ever run across and I can't help feeling that a man who was that intelligent must have had some idea of just how completely nuts he really was.
Now here's the problem. During his reign as Emperor, Norton came up with three major ideas:
1) He called upon the other leaders of the world to join him in forming a League of Nations where disputes between nations could be resolved peacefully.
2) He suggested that parts of San Francisco Bay be filled in to make more room to build.
3) He proposed that a suspension-span bridge be built across the spot where the Golden Gate stands now. He even laid out a complete design that looks remarkably close to the bridge that was built sixty years after he died. He correctly predicted that only a suspension span bridge would have the strength to span such a large stretch, and the flexibility to stand up under the extreme stress which would be placed on such a structure. He did this at a time when the only suspension bridges ever built were rope bridges in remote parts of Africa.
Of course, when he proposed these ideas, the response was long and uproarious laughter -- the Emperor was up to his old tricks again. In time, all of his ideas became reality. At the time, no one believed him.
St Clare is the patron saint of television. But I'm not sure if you pray to her for quality tv or to deliver you from all the bad tv out there.
Here's your today in History:
August 11 1772 -
The summit of Papandayan volcano in West Java suddenly implodes, unleashing a catastrophic debris avalanche which blankets an area of 250 square km. Tumbling boulders flatten 40 villages and their 2,957 inhabitants. People, this is what happens when you do not make the proper virgin sacrifices to the volcano gods. You can't throw just any old skank into a volcano.
August 11 1937 -
On this day, expatriate Edith Wharton died in France, and ex-expatriate Ernest Hemingway didn't in New York. Edith Wharton died in France, in the quiet, Old World style she liked to live and describe; also on this day, and in New World contrast, ex-expatriate Ernest Hemingway bared his hairy chest to Max Eastman's unhairy one, demanded "What do you mean accusing me of impotence?" and then wrestled Eastman to the floor. I'm not accusing Hemingway of anything, it's just Hemingway liked to strip to the waist, grease his body and wrestle smaller, slender men to the ground - sweating and grunting, stiffening then becoming quite still. That's perfectly normal.
August 11 1956 -
Jackson Pollock famous abstract artist and public urinator, dies in an alcohol-related, single car crash in 1956 at the age of only 44, killing one of his passengers, Edith Metzger. The other passenger, his girlfriend Ruth Kligman, survived.
August 11 1984 - Not realizing that his weekly radio address is already on the air, President Ronald Reagan quips into his live microphone: "My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes." Oh that rascally dead President, such a kidder.
August 11 1997 - Responding to reports of a domestic disturbance at the L'Elysee condominiums in West Los Angeles, LAPD officers encounter Christian Slater "swinging his arms and yelling incoherently" in the building stairwell. The movie actor reveals to police that "the Germans are coming and they will kill us." He also mentions that he has been awake for most of two days, and the last thing he remembers is "snorting a couple of lines of cocaine this morning." When officers attempt to put him in handcuffs, Slater knocks one of them to the floor and makes an unsuccessful grab for the cop's weapon. His punishment? 59 days in jail.
(Yes, I know these are mugs shots from an earlier arrest)
So kids, remember limit your drug intake and stay inside your own home.
St. Lawrence was said to have been martyred on an iron outdoor stove on this date in 258 AD. During his torture Lawrence cried out "I' m already done on this side and it is time to turn me over."
He is, of course, the patron saint of comedians and chefs.
August 10 1628 - To assist in the war with Poland, Swedish King Gustavus Adolphus builds a magnificent warship, the Vasa, with 64 bronze cannon on two tiers. But on its maiden voyage, the lower gunports are accidentally left open, and the ship immediately sinks to the bottom of Stockholm harbor. The ship remains submerged until it is raised in 1961 to become a tourist attraction.
If you think I'm going to make a joke about the Polish Navy here,
the joke's on you : )
August 10 1966 - Last words of James French, sent to the Electric Chair by the state of Oklahoma: "How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? FRENCH FRIES." There is nothing quite like a dying man who gives good copy.
August 10 1969 - Leno and Rosemary LaBianca are brutally murdered in their Los Feliz, California home by followers of Charles Manson. They take some of their victims' blood and smear HELTER SKELTER on the refrigerator door.
August 10, 1977 - Postal employee and avid dog listener David Berkowitz was arrested in Yonkers, N.Y., accused of being the "Son of Sam" gunman responsible for six random slayings and seven woundings. Berkowitz is serving six consecutive terms of 25 years to life in state prison. So much for the rantings of the neighbor's dog.
August 10 1989 - Disgruntled postal worker John Merlin Taylor blows his wife's brains out with a .22 Ruger, then drives to his job at the Orange Glen post office in Escondido, California. There he kills two coworkers on the back loading dock, then wounds another inside before blowing his own brains out. He was having a bad day.
August 10 1996 - Heated by the sun, power lines begin to sag in Oregon. Somehow this triggers a series of failures which cascades throughout the Western states. Four million people lose electrical service in Oregon, Washington, California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Montana, and Texas. It is probably the worst power outage in US history.
August 9 378 (Or what ever the hell the date was on the calendar they were using at the time) - Valens, the Roman Emperor of the East, led an army of 30,000 men against a horde of Visigoths outside Adrianople, on this date.
The Romans got off to a good start, but soon the Visigoth cavalry returned from its foraging mission. The Roman infantry was no match for the Visigoths on horseback and two-thirds of the Romans, incuding the Emperor, were slaughtered.
Military strategists were at last compelled to acknowledge that guys on horses were stronger than guys who weren't on horses. This was the most significant development in western warfare since the discovery of the big stick, and European warfare was permanently and irreversibly altered in favor of guys on horses. This also set the stage for the Fall of the Roman Empire and a serious movie role for actor and thug Russell Crowe.
August 9, 1492 - Rodrigo Borgia allowed the Cardinals of Rome to inspect his genitals (a practice subsequently bequeathed to Bishops). Only after he had proved to the Cardinals' satisfaction that he was, indeed, a man, was Mr Borgia permitted to be Pope Alexander VI.
As the historian Orson Welles observed in The Third Man (1949): "In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love -- they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."
Rodrigo Borgia had earned the papacy the old-fashioned way: through nepotism and bribery. Once he had it, he turned it into a family institution. His two legitimate children, Cesare and Lucrezia, were alternately married off to cement alliances, divorced or widowed to initiate hostilities, or dispatched with poison to conduct diplomacy.
When out of town on business, he left in Lucrezia in charge of the Papacy. In gratitude, she bore him a son.
(Many scholars repudiate this charge, insisting that the Pope could not possibly have fathered his own daughter's child. They assign paternity to Lucrezia's brother Cesare.)
By 1503 Alexander VI had expanded Rome's powers considerably and was therefore poisoned. Three years later Cesare died while fighting as a mercenary in Spain. Lucrezia died in 1514 from complications of pregnancy. That was more or less the end of the Borgias, and the Papacy has become less and less interesting with the passing of every year since.
August 9 1945 - Because of the dense cloudcover over Kokura, USAF Maj. Charles Sweeney diverts his B-29 Bock's Car to the designated secondary target, 95 miles to the south. There he drops "Fat Man" -- a 22 kiloton Atomic Bomb -- over the city of Nagasaki, population 270,000. The blast kills 24,000 immediately, but another 46,000 perish from radiation-related illnesses over the next four months. Interesting sidenote that has just come up. The government secretly paid New York Times Science Reporter William Laurence to cover the story from the gov't side.
Laurence refered to the bomb as, "A thing of beauty to behold, this 'gadget'." Laurance was the only journalist that the US gov't permitted to witness the bombing of Nagasaki. He is also credited with coming up with the term "Atomic Age".
Soon after the bombing in Japan, new began to leak out concening a strange sickness, "Disease X" that was killing the Japanese civilians after the bomb dropped. To counter the growing horror over these accounts, the gov't invited a group of reporters to visit the government's atomic test site in New Mexico.
On Sept. 9th, Laurence dutifully reported from New Mexico that the U.S. government 'gave the most effective answer today to Japanese propaganda that radiations were responsible for deaths even after the day of explosion..."
Laurence went on to receive the Pulitzer Prize in 1946 for his reports on the bombing. A formal request has gone to the th Pulitzer committee to strip William L. Laurence and the New York Times of their prize.
August 9 1960 - Harvard professor Timothy Leary consumes seven Psilocybe caerulescens mushrooms in Cuernavaca, Mexico. Five hours later, the self-described atheist experiences a "fullblown conversion experience" next to a swimming pool. It is Leary's first drug trip.
August 9 1969 -
Charles Manson and his band of "children" committed the first in a series of grisly murders high in the Hollywood Hills today. The unfortunate victims, including Sharon Tate were probably not the intended target of this crime. Rumors have it that Charlie was looking for record producer Terry Melchar (Doris Day's son) who turned him down for a record contract. Melchar was away and rented the house to Tate at the time.
August 9 1974 - After President Richard M. Nixon resigns from office, his successor, Gerald Ford, assures the American people that their "long national nightmare is over." As they did not drive a wooden stake through his heart, Nixon did not die and was left to roam the earth for several more decades.
August 9 1995 - Jerry Garcia dies of a heart attack at Serenity Knolls near Novato, California. He had checked himself into the drug rehab center a few days prior, in hopes of kicking his longstanding heroin habit.
The XXIX Olympiad begins Today - hopefully you can see them through the smog. ANd remember most of the pomp and spectacle that you enjoy during the opening ceremonies were invented by the Nazis.
August 8 1925 - 40,000 robed Klansmen march down Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, D.C. -- a bit less than 1% of total Klan membership (and the Klan membership included about 15% of the nation's eligible voting population.) Very scary, boys and girls, very scary.
August 8 1945 - Wanting to help their allies, USSR declares war against Japan in WW II after confirming the situation in Hiroshima. A large nuclear explosion is a great way to clear one's mind.
August 8 1960 - Brian Hyland's song "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini" reaches number one on the pop charts.
August 8 1963 - The Kingsmen release the song, "Louie, Louie." inexplicably radio stations around the county label it obscene, even though no foul or suggestive language can be found in the song.
Here are (purportedly) the lyrics -
Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go. Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go.
A fine girl, who waited for me. I catch a ship across the sea. I sailed the ship all alone. I wondered when I'm gonna make it home.
Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go. Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go.
Three nights and days I sailed the sea. I think of the girl constantly. On the ship, I dream she there. I smell the rose that's in her hair.
Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go. Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go.
I see Jamaican moon above. See the girl I'm thinking of. I take her in my arms and then Say I'll never leave again.
Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go. Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go.
Oh, I gotta go now. Uh-huh I gotta go.
August 8 1963 - By tampering with railway signals, a 15 man team halts the Glasgow-to-Euston Royal Mail train in Buckinghamshire. The criminals make off with 120 sacks containing £2.6 million in cash. The incident goes down in history as "The Great Train Robbery." For some bizarre reason, Phil Collins stars in a movie based on one of the men involved in the robbery.
August 8 1973 - VP Spiro T Agnew branded as "damned lies" reports he took kickbacks from govt contracts in Maryland. He vowed not to resign (Right!)
August 8 1974 - Richard M. Nixon resigned the office of the presidency on this date, the first American president in history to do so (actually Millard Fillmore had resigned from office several times but as no one in the country took any notice of him, he had no one to turn his resignation in to, so he remained in office). His policies as president had been rather liberal. He began arms control agreements with the Soviet Union. He eased relations with China. He established the Environmental Protection Agency, expanded Social Security and state welfare programs and tried to create a national health insurance system. He was also a chronic alcoholic, suffered from a raging persecution complex and had overly active sweat glands
He won re-election in 1972 in a landslide, but in that same year a group of men broke into the Democratic Party headquarters at the Watergate Hotel, and in that break-in were the seeds of his downfall.
August 8, 1988 - Believe it or not, NYC hits a record high of 88 on 8/8/88.
I guess it was a bit of bad timing for Greyhound when that started their new campaign of 'No Bus Rage" in Canada when a crazed man stabs, beheads and begins to consume a carnival worker on the the Winnipeg bound bus. Oops.
I don't care how many Dramamines you take, you're going to get bus sick over something like this.
Here's your Today in History:
August 7, 1876 The German spy Mata Hari, a Dutchwoman named Margaretha Geertruida Zelle, was born on this day in 1876. She was executed by the French on October 14, 1917. There was not much actual evidence of espionage, but she had been seen naked with German officers and the French found this distasteful enough to kill her.
August 7, 1882 - Ellison Hatfield is stabbed 26 times and shot in the back by Tolbert McCoy and two of his brothers. Two days later, the Hatfield clan captures the three McCoys and executes them by firing squad. Thus begins generations of bloodshed between the families, ultimately causing about 100 casualties.
Louis Leakey was also born on this day, in 1903. Mr Leakey was a prominent British archeologist who discovered that either mankind was much older than had previously been supposed or that mankind had not actually been mankind but some other kind instead. The archeological world was convulsed for decades by arguments over what to name this strange new species and the struggle drove Mr Leakey to become a spy for the British government and cheat on his wife (though seldom simultaneously).
August 7, 1953 - Eisenhower signs legislation retroactively granting Ohio official statehood for the previous 150 years. In 1803, apparently everyone just assumed that Ohio was a state, even though Congress had never passed legislation to that effect. The nation remained blissfully unaware of this fact until nosy historians began snooping around in preparation for Ohio's sesquicentennial. Yes I know, if Eisenhower had minded his own damn business, the 2004 election might have been different.
August 7, 1960 - Film and television actor David Duchovny (another member of the Milton Berle club) is born in New York City. Two of his most popular TV roles include Special Agent Fox Mulder from The X-Files, and transvestite DEA agent Dennis Bryson in three episodes of Twin Peaks (second season, though). Remember, the truth is out there. But then again, What is truth, what is beauty and remember hemlock is poison.
August 7, 1974 Philippe Petit the French high wire artist walked between the Twin Towers in New York City on this date. Yes kids, that was another time, another place.
The atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima on August 6, 1945.
August 6 is also noted historically as the official end of the Holy Roman Empire, which collapsed on that date in 1806. As always, please note, the Holy Roman Empire was not holy, roman or an empire (per se), discuss amongst yourselves.
In the face of the a growing threat to American health, however, I have chosen to instead provide the following public service.
How to Avoid West Nile Virus
West Nile virus can cause encephalitis, which causes swelling of the brain, which can in turn cause enlargement of the head. Contrary to the examples of encephalitis you see in the newspaper every day—such as Charlie Brown and Calvin—encephalitis is a deadly condition whose victims would be less likely to play with frisky beagles or stuffed tigers than to vomit blood and die.
West Nile virus is easy to avoid: like most viruses, it's very small, very slow, and not especially bright. Unfortunately, it's often carried by mosquitoes that are bigger, faster, and fiendishly clever.
It's not always easy to discern whether or not a given mosquito is carrying West Nile virus, so the prudent move is to avoid all mosquitoes.
This may be unfair to innocent mosquitoes who mean you no harm--the so-called "moderate" mosquitoes--but political niceties must be subordinated to threats to your survival.
It's important to remember that mosquitoes are masters of disguise. With a little makeup or a fancy hat, any mosquito can take on the appearance of several other species. They cannot, however, conceal their stingers.
Avoid all insects with stingers. If you encounter one that claims its stinger is merely a golf-club wedged into its rectum, do not believe it: insects don't golf.
Do not open your doors or windows to strangers before ascertaining whether or not they're mosquitoes. If they acknowledge being mosquitoes but deny carrying the West Nile virus, do not trust them. Some mosquitoes may even offer to show you a doctor's certificate, but such evidence is meaningless: they may have picked up West Nile virus in the time elapsed since their doctor tested them.
Be wary of delivery men, plumbers, electricians, and cable guys with stingers trailing from their jumpsuits.
Norma J. Mortenson was born on June 1, 1926, in Los Angeles. Her mother was insane, her father unknown. After her mother's institutionalization, Norma lived in foster homes and orphanages until 1937, when she was taken in by one of her crazy mother's friends. Five years later that woman's husband was transferred to the east coast (there was a war on), and the couple couldn't afford to bring the girl with them. To avoid returning to the orphanage, the now 18-year-old Norma married a boy named Jimmy Dougherty. He joined the Merchant Marines and was shipped out to the Pacific in 1944.
While he was away Norma got a job on the assembly line of a Burbank munitions factory. One day a photographer from "Yank" magazine came to the factory to take pictures for a piece on beautiful young factory workers with insane mothers. When the magazine was published, Norma's pictures were extremely well received. This quickly led to a successful career of letting people take pictures of her.
Returning from the war in 1946, Jimmy asked Norma what the hell kind of woman served meatloaf without mashed potatoes. She divorced him and signed a contract with Twentieth Century Fox.
She earned $125 per week, which was not bad for the divorced, factory-working daughter of a madwoman. It wasn't quite enough for Norma, however, so she dyed her hair blonde and changed her name to Marilyn Monroe.
Marilyn Monroe didn't do much better than Norma Jeane Baker until 1950, when she was given the role of Claudia Caswell in All About Eve. This led to bigger and bigger film roles and enabled her to begin dating baseball legend Joe DiMaggio in 1952. Upon the release of Niagara in 1953 she became an actual star, enabling her to marry him in 1954.
They divorced nine months later, in part because Marilyn was always lifting her weary eyes and asking Joe where he'd gone.
From this point forward she appeared only in famous movies. Two years later she married playwright Arthur Miller. She divorced him in 1961 and spent the rest of her short life Artlessly.
46 years ago today she died of natural causes, aggravated by sleeping pills, in her Brentwood home. Unless she was murdered.
Christopher Columbus famously set out to cross the ocean blue in a fleet of three ships: the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula.
August 3 1950 - The U.S. Army knowingly kills hundreds of civilian refugees when Maj. General Hobart R. Gay gives the order to demolish the bridge, including refugees, over the Naktong River at Waegwan, Korea. Oops.
August 3 1963 - Almost a year after the world barely averted World War III during the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Hotline between the Pentagon and the Kremlin goes live. The system consists of two teletype machines, with a full-time communications link routed through London, Copenhagen, Stockholm, and Helsinki.
August 3 1966 - Comedian and social critic Lenny Bruce dies of a morphine overdose in his Hollywood Hills home, two years after his original obituary was published in The Realist. At the time of his death, Bruce was being maliciously harassed by police and districts attorney in various states for his groundbreaking standup performances, causing great difficulty in finding venues at which to perform.
August 3 1996 - An angry God makes "Macarena" by Los Del Rio #1 on the pop charts. The accompanying dancing disease afflicts millions before final eradication.
(I have to figure out what happen to Sunday's posting)
Saint Sithney is the patron saint of mad dogs.
A Breton folk story, states that God asked Sithney to be the patron saint of girls seeking husbands, but Sithney said he would rather be the patron saint of mad dogs and get some rest. Make of this what you wish.
August 4 1693 - Oh, great day in the morning (this day should be a great religious and national holiday), Blind Benedictine Dom Perignon invents champagne. He has been quoted as saying, ""Come quickly, brothers, I'm drinking stars!" upon tasting his accidental brew
August 4 1792 -
Percy Bysshe Shelley was born on this date. He died in a tragic boating accident before the age of 30, but he gave us many masterpieces, including "The Cloud," "To a Skylark," and "Prometheus Unbound." The fisheaten bodies were washed ashore at Viareggio, where, in the presence of his friend Lord Byron, he was burned on the beach - his heart was given to his wife, Mary Shelley, who carried it with her in a silken shroud everywhere she went for the rest of her life. All I can say is that I'm glad it was just his heart.
August 4 1892 -
Someone takes an axe and kills Lizzie Borden's millionaire parents. Andrew receives 10 whacks, and Abby 14. Lizzie is later tried for the murders, but acquitted.
August 4 1964 - Vietcong torpedo boats launch an unprovoked attack against the U.S.S. Maddox, while the destroyer is patrolling the Gulf of Tonkin. Except that it's only a hoax. Regardless, the Congress responds by passing the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution, authorizing President Johnson "to take all necessary measures to repel any armed attack against the forces of the United States and to prevent further aggression."
National Ice Cream Sandwich Day is a time to enjoy a cold sandwich.......an ice cream sandwich. Hey, every day can't be a red letter day.
Here's your Today in History:
August 2, 1100
Act of God,
You may often wonder when this phrase came into being. You've all seen it long enough and you may unfortunately experienced it when you went to collect on you home insurance policy. As with most things, the English can pinpoint the first popular usage of the phrase.
William II (William Rufus), the second surviving son of William I the Conqueror, was King of England from 1087 until 1100, with powers also over Normandy, and influence in Scotland. He was not well liked for his unusual practice of buggering men every morning of his reign.
William started out as King of England on September 26, 1087 and liked to start his day with a vigorous bout of forced sodomy. While he enjoyed sodomy with many of his 'special friends', he really enjoyed a good round of sodomy with some new, mostly unwilling courtier every morning. And why not - It's good to be the king.
It was drawing upon the 1000th new morning wake up call and William wanted to go on his usual after sodomizing the new guy hunt. So off the royal entourage went and before you knew it, they all raced home, including William's brother, Henry (soon to be Henry I) and William II lay (or lie, I'm never really quite sure) dead with an arrow shot through his lung, on this date.
Henry, after hurriedly crowning himself the First, called for an inquest into how his brother happened to find himself with an arrow through the lung. Not that Henry was that interested in the answer (literally, no one would pick up William's corpse. A peasant had to bring it round to the back of the Winchester Cathedral on a dung cart - I kid you not.) A Royal commission was held and decided that it was a just end - an 'Act of God' played out on a wicked king. So there you go - blame the fact you can't get a payment from your insurance company on an English monarch with a penchant for buggery.
August 2 1876 - Drinking at a saloon in Deadwood, Dakota Territory, Jack McCall notices Wild Bill Hickok playing poker at a corner table. Then he calmly walks over to the table and blows a wide hole in the back of Hickok's head with a .45 revolver. The professional gambler and onetime lawman was holding a pair of Aces and a pair of eights, now known as the "Dead Man's Hand." So kids, please remember to split those aces and eights when you are dealt them.
August 2 1923 -
President Warren G. Harding dies suddenly at the Palace Hotel in San Francisco. His wife Florence forbids an autopsy, and the President's body is embalmed shortly after death. It is speculated by many that the cause of death, initially reported as "a stroke of apoplexy," was in fact poison administered by the First Lady. Mrs. Harding was rather annoyed that her husband was taking dictation from his secretary in the broom closet. You have to love this asshole - he actually lost the White House china in a poker game. And despite the fact that Prohibition made it illegal, Harding served his friends alcohol.
Harding had the largest feet of any U.S. President. He wore size 14 shoes. I'll just leave you all with that. Make of it what you will.
August 2 1990 - After Kuwait refuses to waive Iraq's war debts, 100,000 Iraqi soldiers stream across the border and seize control of Kuwait City. Their troops outnumbered 5-to-1, the Kuwaitis mount no resistance whatsoever. In so doing, Saddam Hussein precipitates the first Gulf War. So this is the reason we are in this mess.
It's August, which means it's National Catfish Month. It's also National Golf Month, National Eye Exam Month, National Water Quality Month, Romance Awareness Month, Peach Month, and Foot Health Month.
How did a single month become so important? Like almost everything else that's difficult to understand, the history of August begins in Ancient Rome.
The Roman calendar was a mess. Not just because there were VII days in a week and XXVIII days in a month, but also because the calendar was being managed by a high priest. In 46 BC, for example, autumn began in January. This irritated Julius Caesar, who demanded that the calendar be reformed to make sense—and that the priests assigned to manage it stop getting high.
Caesar's new calendar went into effect on January 1, 45 BC. The fifth month of the year, Quintilis, which was actually been the seventh month of the year, was renamed July—short for Julius—in honor of his work on the calendar. (Calendar professionals still refer to July as the "Caesarian section.")
Years later, after Caesar's grand-nephew defeated Mark Anthony and Cleopatra and became emperor of Rome, the Senate decided to name a month after him. They chose the month of Sextillus, the sixth month (and therefore eighth), and renamed it Gaius Octavianus. Fortunately the Emperor renamed himself Augustus before any calendars had been printed.
The Emperor was not entirely pleased. His month had only 30 days, whereas his grand-uncle's had 31. The Senate immediately added another day to August, removing it from February in the hope of losing one day of winter to gain one of summer.
August 1 1589 - King Henri III of France is assassinated by a crazy Jacobin monk. Among his crimes are opposing the Catholic League, and his love of...handsome young men.
August 1 1769 - Spain sent an exploratory expedition from San Diego to Monterey to survey the area and identify places worth sending more people. The expedition was led by Gaspar de Portola, nephew of the celebrated Spanish comedian Uncle Porky, and included a number of religious missionaries assigned to impose afternoon naps upon the heathens.
Camping on some fertile ground beside a river on August 2, Father Juan Crespi suggested they name the river El Rio de Padre Juan Crespi. As the laughter subsided, he suggested El Rio de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula, "The River of Our Lady the Queen of the Angels of Uncle Porky." It was agreed, and the merry band continued on their way.
Twelve years later Mexico's Spanish Governor, Felipe de Neve, began dispatching settlers to establish pueblos in the name of the Spanish King. These settlers were called "Los Pobladores" on account of their penchant for Poblas. One such group, led by Captain Rivera y Moncada, settled in the area by the previously mentioned river. They named their new community "Our Pueblo by the River of Our Lady of the Angels of Uncle Porky."
The settlement grew, and came to be known as "The City by the Pueblo by the River of Our Lady of the Angels of Uncle Porky."
In 1822, Mexico took California from Spain. In 1846, following two years of hostilities, the United States took it from Mexico. Many Americans were injured attempting to pronounce the name of El Ciudad del Pueblo del Rio de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula, which they therefore renamed Los Angeles in 1850.
California was admitted to the Union later that year.
Los Angeles retained that name until the middle of the last century, when even that became too difficult for most American tongues, at which point it finally became L.A.
August 1, 1793 - The kilogram first appeared in France. Developed by priests and scientists, the kilogram flourished as soon as it was released into the wild and can now be found thriving throughout the world. The kilogram can be found in parts of the United States, but has encountered too many indigineous predators to establish dominance.
August 1 1936 -
Adolf Hitler presides over the opening ceremony of the Olympics. The Chancellor of Germany announces: "I proclaim the games of Berlin, celebrating the eleventh Olympiad of the modern era, to be open." The whole thing makes for a great film by Leni Riefenstahl.
August 1 1954 - The middle and lower reaches of the Yangtze River overflow, submerging 8 million acres. The floodwaters kill more than 30,000 Chinese and displace 18.9 million others.
August 1 1966 - Former Eagle Scout and United States Marine Charles Whitman carries a sniper rifle onto university of Texas at Austin. There he climbs to the top of UT tower and begins firing indiscriminately at dozens of people, killing 13. Whitman is finally taken out 96 minutes later by three Austin PD officers. The whole thing makes for a good first film by Peter Bogdanovich.
August 1 1971 - The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour debuts on CBS television as a summer replacement show.
And the beat goes on
August 1 1981 - Cable music network MTV launches, by airing "Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Buggles, followed by Pat Benatar's "You Better Run."
That's right, kids: once upon a time, MTV actually played music videos.
August 1 1994 - Trading on the NASDAQ stock market is halted for 34 minutes after a squirrel commits suicide by gnawing through a power line near the organization's computer center in Trumbull, Connecticut. Systems in place to perform automatic switchover to standby generators didn't exactly, uh, work.
Hey, New York State isn't just broke, it's really broke. Soon state workers will be collecting empty soda cans for the state.
Here's your Today in History:
July 31, 1945 - Wearing a stolen army uniform, prisoner John Giles attempts to escape from Alcatraz island by boarding an outbound cargo boat. But instead of San Francisco, the vessel heads for Angel Island, where Giles is promptly captured. Always check your schedules before boarding your escape craft.
It was on this day in 1954 that human feet first stood upon the summit of Pakistan's K2 mountain, the second-tallest mountain in the world.
K2 was known to the Chinese as "Great Mountain" and to Indian and Pakistani locals as "That Big Thing Over There." It was not until 1856, when T.G. Montgomerie of Britain's Survey of India was logging the mountains of the Karakorum range, that it was dubbed K2. This helped distinguish it from K1, to its left, and K3, to its right.
(K1 was later named Mount Masherbrum. K3 moved to New Mexico, where it is believed to be running a New Age bookstore under an assumed name.)
It was an Italian expedition led by Ardito Desio that first succeeded in ascending to the peak of K2. Team members Lino Lacedelli and Achille Compagnoni achieved that distinction on July 31, 1954.
The summit wasn't reached again until 1977, when a Japanese team with more than 1500 porters found their way to the top.
The first American expedition reached the top in 1978 without the aid of any stinking porters.
July 31, 1966 - Beatles records are burned in Birmingham, Alabama -- only because John Lennon innocently declared that the band happens to be "more popular than Jesus." The record burning of course has the opposite effect, as sales of Beatles records dramatically increase (in part to burn them.)
July 31, 1971 - One of the most expensive car rides occured on this date, when James B. Irwin and David R. Scott took the Lunar Roving Vehicle or "Moon Buggy" on it's premiere jaunt on the surface of the moon.
July 31, 1998 - Diminutive actor Gary Coleman, former child star of the ABC television sitcom Diff'rent Strokes, is arrested in Hawthorne, California for allegedly battering an autograph seeker in a uniform shop. Coleman, then a security guard at Fox Hills Mall, was shopping for a bulletproof vest. Who knew they made bulletproof vest in children's sizes.
July 31, 1999 - Police arrest James Donald Ray for 'violent intimate relations' with two sheep at El Capitan High School in Lakeside, California. A previous sexual attack against one of the sheep prompted the police stakeout, which nabs the 38-year-old in flagrante delicto cum ewe. What were the sheep doing at school - did Mary's little lambs matriculate?
A new AOL survey has shown that 53% of Americans are checking there e-mails while they are in the bathroom. Remind me never to borrow anyone's Blackberry again.
Here's your Today in History:
Prague has always been a tough town for elected officials. On July 30, 1419. Jan Želivský, a Hussite priest at the church of the Virgin Mary of the Snows, led his congregation on a procession through the streets of Prague to the Town Hall. The town council members had refused to exchange their Hussite prisoners, and an anti-Hussite threw a rock at one of the protesters. Enraged, the crowd stormed the town hall and threw seven of the council members from the windows onto the spears of the armed congregation below. Thus, the First Defenestration of Prague occurred.
Less you think that was the only defenestration in that tough old town, at Prague Castle on May 23, 1618, an assembly of Protestants tried two Imperial governors, Wilhelm Grav Slavata (1572–1652) and Jaroslav Borzita Graf Von Martinicz (1582–1649), for violating the Letter of Majesty (Right of Freedom of Religion), found them guilty, and threw them, together with their scribe Philip Fabricius, out of the high windows of the Bohemian Chancellery. They landed on a large pile of manure and all survived unharmed. Philip Fabricius was later ennobled by the emperor and granted the title "von Hohenfall" (lit. translating to "of Highfall"). Apparently, the streets of Prague were literally full of crap.
But what there were more, a defenestration (chronologically the second defenestration of Prague) happened on September 24, 1483, when a violent overthrow of the municipal governments of the Old and New Towns ended with throwing the Old-Town portreeve and the bodies of seven killed aldermen out of the windows of the respective townhalls.
Sometimes, the name the third defenestration of Prague is used, although it has no standard meaning. For example, it has been used to describe the death of Jan Masaryk, who was found under the bathroom window of the building of the Czechoslovakian Ministry of Foreign Affairs on March 10, 1948, allegedly murdered by Communists, though the official Communist line claimed this to be a suicide. It's tough to be an elected official in Prague. Again, it's a tough town for politicians but it's the gravy train for glazers.
It's Emily Brontë's birthday.
The Brontës were three hideous sisters who dwelt in a cave and had to share a single eyeball between them. They were eventually outwitted and slain by wily Odysseus. (Unless that was the Gorgons, in which case the Brontës were three Englishwomen who wrote poetry and novels in the middle nineteenth century.)
Women were not allowed to write books at the time because novels were still being written in the formal style, and it was feared that women would corrupt that classic form with their penchant for multiple climaxes. The Brontës therefore wrote under the pseudonyms Currer, Ellis, and Acton Bell. Charlotte got to be Currer and this made the other girls jealous: Currer was the handsome and swarthy sailor, while Ellis was the stuttering librarian and Acton was the simpleminded shepherd.
As authors, the Brontës were heavily influenced by the Romantics ("That's What I Like About You"), but most scholars contend that Emily's Wuthering Heights owes more to the Meteorologists.
She is perhaps best known for her invention of Heathcliff, most recently popularized by American cartoonist George Gately.
Flowers and Trees is a 1932 Silly Symphonies cartoon produced by Walt Disney, directed by Burt Gillett, and released to theatres by United Artists on July 30, 1932. It was the first commercially released film to be produced in the full-color three-strip Technicolor process, after several years of two-color Technicolor films. The Flowers and Trees was a commercial and critical success, winning the first Academy Award for Best Short Subjects: Cartoons.
July 30, 1938 - In his Dearborn, Michigan office Henry Ford proudly accepts a Nazi medal on his 75th birthday. The Grand Cross of the Order of the German Eagle is the highest award the Reich can bestow on foreigners. The medal arrives with a note of personal greetings from Adolf Hitler. A rabid anti-semite, Ford paid for copies of the racist hoax Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion to be deposited in major U.S. libraries.
Hopefully, there isn't a Ford in your future.
July 30, 1975 - Where have you gone Jimmy Hoffa, the nature turns it jaundice eyes to you? Jimmy Hoffa is or isn't dead. Jimmy is or isn't buried somewhere in the Meadowlands or a horse farm or was made into ground meat and consumed at some very unfortunate barbecue.
Ryan Seacrest apparently was bitten by a shark this weekend. While in some pain, Seacrest was alright. The Shark immediately went into convulsions and had to be euthanized. In lieu of chum, the family of the shark asks that donations be made to the World Oceanographic Society.
July 29, 1588 -
Phillip II of Spain sent his armadillo to invade England. This Spanish armadillo was defeated by the belly-buttons of Lord Howard and Sir Francis Drake in one of the greatest navel engagements of all time. The defeat altered the balance of power in Europe irreversibly and marked the last use of armadillos in navel warfare.
July 29 1921 - The Council on Foreign Relations is incorporated in New York City by a group of bankers and other influentials, including John D Rockefeller. The CFR remains a vital component of the New World Order, and is surpassed in importance only by the Trilateral Commission. Now that you have this information, you know too much and you'll probably have to be killed.
July 29 1921 - Adolf Hitler is selected as leader of the National Socialist Party. I'm guessing there have been some regrets concerning this election.
July 29 1941 - The Grigglestone Colliery explodes, leaving 20 dead. I have no idea who or where or what this was -- but it did happen, and it bears repeating.
July 29 1968 - Pope Paul VI issues encyclical Humanae Vitae, prohibiting all unnatural forms of birth control. He thereby answers the age-old question, "Does the Pope spurt in a condom?"
July 29 1974 - Mama Cass Elliot, a very large part of The Mamas and the Papas, dies in London. Although initial reports ascribe the cause of death to choking on a ham sandwich, in actuality it was a heart attack.
For those of you still seeking your Masters in European History -
July 28 1914 - It was a sweltering July in most of Europe and the world as most people knew it was about to end. That was the day on which, still reeling from the recent assassination of their Archduck Franz Ferdinand in Sarajevo, Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia.
Because Russia was a Slavic nation, like Serbia, Czar Nicholas II sent a few troops toward Vienna the very next day, hoping either that Austria-Hungary would become nervous and back off or that the Russian troops would loot someone else for a change.
But it was hot, people were angry, and Austria wasn't in any mood to back off. If anything, they were feeling a little pissy: a day later, they sent some troops of their own toward Russia.
The Russian Czar was unaccustomed to this kind of confrontational behavior. His self-esteem in tatters, he mobilized the entire Imperial Army against Austria and began calling himself Tsar.
Emperor Wilhelm II of Germany observed the Russian mobilization with unease. The Slavs of Russia considered the Slavs of Serbia their blood cousins, but the Germans and Austrians were closer still. Like brothers. Like twin brothers. (Fraternal, not identical). The Emperor dashed off a note to his friend (and cousin) the Tsar (formerly the Czar), asking if maybe Russia wouldn't mind calling her troops back within, say, the next twenty-four hours or else. He sent another little note to France, asking if they wouldn't mind promising to keep their noses out of certain other peoples' business, if certain other people should happen to go to war within the next, say, eighteen hours.
Neither Russia nor France offered any reply to the Emperor's little notes (possibly because he wrote it in German. Now if he wrote it in French, that might have been different - they all spoke French at home), and his feelings were understandably hurt. He mobilized his own army, declared war against Russia on August 1, against France on August 3, and started calling himself Kaiser.
To reach France, the Germans had to cross through Belgium. Belgium expressed its sincere desire not to be crossed. This was unreasonable and forced the Germans to start killing Belgians on the night of August 3.
Britain, meanwhile, didn't care about Serbia. Britain didn't care about Russia. And Britain certainly didn't care who attacked France — it had been their own national sport for centuries. But they had foolishly pledged their support to unreasonable little Belgium, and had no choice but to declare war on Germany on August 4. This was extremely vexing to the British monarchy, as they themselves were mostly German and Kaiser Willie was King Georgie cousin.
On the same day, the United States declared its reluctance to become involved in the European conflict until it had a better idea who'd win.
Austria, meanwhile, had been touched by the fervor with which Germany had come to her defense—and by the rapidity with which Russian troops were advancing toward both of them. Emperor Franz Josef declared war against Russia on August 5.
Serbia, already being pounded by Austria, declared war against Germany on August 6. Montenegro considered this bold and dashing, and wanted a piece of the action: she declared war against Austria on August 7, and, ebullient at finding herself intact a whole five days later, went so far as to declare war against Germany on Aug 12.
Already at war with Germany, an irritated France declared war against Austria on August 10. Caught up in the excitement, Britain declared war against Austria on August 12. By now it seemed like everyone was getting involved. There was a mad rush to war. Japan declared war against Germany on August 23.
Japan's hostilities toward Germany offended Austria, who declared war against Japan on August 25. Fastidiously egalitarian in their foreign policy, they declared war against Belgium three days later. Things were now spinning wildly out of control. On August 29, France declared war against Mongolia, Ireland declared war against Lichtenstein, and dogs declared war against cats.
World War One was underway. In just four years, it would claim 8.5 million lives and leave 21.2 million wounded, and lay the groundwork for an eventual rematch. Sometimes family feuds just get out of hand.
July 28 1794 - Maximilien "The Incorruptible" Robespierre was guillotined for having ravaged the French meteorological cycle with his nefarious Rain of Terror.
July 28 1841 - James Boulard and Henry Mallin pull the decomposed body of a young woman from the Hudson River near Hoboken, New Jersey. Mary Cecilia Rogers, who worked at a popular cigar store, is initially thought to have been killed in the course of a brutal gang rape, but ultimately it seems more likely that she died from a botched abortion. Years later, novelist Edgar Allen Poe adapts the sensational news story about "The Beautiful Cigar Girl" into the short story "The Mystery of Marie Roget."
July 28 1870 - Andrew Carr is hanged at Richmond Prison, Dublin. He is dropped from too high, causing his head to separate from the rest of his body -- the greater portion of which twitches for several minutes.
July 28 1945 - A US Army B-25 bomber crashes into the Empire State Building between the 78th and 79th floors. An engine plunges down an elevator shaft, sparking a fire in the basement. Eleven people in the building are killed, in addition to the three man bomber crew. Elevator operator Betty Lou Oliver survived a plunge of 75 stories inside an elevator, which still stands as the Guinness World Record for the longest survived elevator fall recorded.
And if I step outside my apartment and look up Fifth Avenue, it's still standing.
July 28 1957 - A C-124 transport plane carrying three nuclear weapons jettisons its precious cargo into the Atlantic, somewhere east of Delaware and New Jersey. The bombs are never recovered.
Remember every time you go to a beach off the Jersey Shore, a 200 foot radioactive mutant Blue Crab is lurking.
