The 2012 word of the year

According to the American Dialect Society the WORD OF THE YEAR is:
#hashtag –  a word or phrase preceded by a hash symbol (#), used on Twitter to mark a topic or make a commentary.

MOST USEFUL -
-(po)calypse, -(ma)geddon: hyperbolic combining forms for various catastrophes

MOST CREATIVE -
gate lice: airline passengers who crowd around a gate waiting to board (never heard this one.)

MOST UNNECESSARY -
legitimate rape: type of rape that Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin claimed rarely results in pregnancy.

MOST OUTRAGEOUS -
legitimate rape: type of rape that Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin claimed rarely results in pregnancy.

MOST EUPHEMISTIC -
self-deportation: policy of encouraging illegal immigrants to return voluntarily to their home countries.

MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED -
marriage equality: legal recognition of same-sex marriage.

LEAST LIKELY TO SUCCEED -
YOLO: acronym for “You Only Live Once,” often used sarcastically or self-deprecatingly.

Of Special Note -
binders (full of women): term used by Romney in the second presidential debate to describe the resumes of female job candidates that he consulted as governor of Massachusetts


Kids, don't be a goofus

Be a gallant (although I sure, gallant grew up to be a sexual deviant.)


January 12, 1934 -
George Cukor's star-studded extravaganza Dinner at Eight, went into general release in the US on this date.



As originally filmed, Carlotta's dog was named Mussolini. However, due to the changing world political climate of the 1930's, the dog's name was post-dubbed as "Tarzan", even though Marie Dressler's lips are clearly saying "Mussolini".


Today in History -
If you were ever an altar boy or ever took Latin, I don't need to tell you what jacta alea est means. But if you're like most Americans, to whom Latin is about as familiar as Urdu, let me translate: it means the die is cast. At least that's how it's usually translated. Back in the early days of English, when the phrase was first translated, that's how they would have said "the dice are thrown."

This Latin snippet is important for a couple of reasons. Firstly because it demonstrates the popularity of gambling with dice in the ancient world, which is an important bit of trivia for keeping wayward adolescents interested in the classics; secondly because it's a short little Latin phrase you can drop into conversation to impress snobs; thirdly because the event of its utterance changed the course of western civilization for ever.

The line was uttered by Julius Caesar on this very date in 49 BC (There is some disagreement on this date - this is clearly one of those dates that most of historians, around at the time, were too busy at the local orgy to clearly denote when a short bald Italian soldier crossed a rivulet.) Caesar and his army had just crossed the Rubicon, a little stream in northern Italy. The Roman Senate had long ago established a rule that Roman citizens should be forbidden from crossing the the Rubicon with their armies, since they figured anyone coming south toward Rome with an entire army probably wasn't up to any good (this should be enacted immediately in the USA - no short bald men on horse should ever cross the Potomac with their own army.)

(If the Roman Senate had really wanted to play it safe, maybe they should have designed the infrastructure of their empire so that all roads didn't lead to Rome - but that's beside the point.)

You may be wondering why Caesar would set out to break the law this way. He had, after all, been a popular and successful general and had been governor of Gaul for some time. But that's exactly why he decided to cross the Rubicon: he had become so popular and so powerful that the Roman Senate ordered him to disband his army and give up Gaul. Which has always made me wonder why the Roman Senate didn't say jacta alea est after issuing their demands. Maybe they were just too eager to get back to their dice.



Anyway, by crossing the Rubicon, Caesar had officially committed treason and launched the Roman Civil War. I've also saved you several hours of watching DVD's of the series Rome. Except for the naked parts.

The rest is history.


January 12, 1928 -
Ruth Snyder became the first woman to die in the electric chair on this date.

She was electrocuted by “state electrician” Robert G. Elliott at Sing Sing Prison in Ossining, New York, along with Judd Gray, her lover and co-conspirator, for the murder of her husband, Albert on March 20, 1927. This was billed in the press as “The Dumb-Bell Murder.”

The case was the inspiration for the novel Double Indemnity by James M. Cain, which was later adapted for the screen by Billy Wilder and Raymond Chandler. Cain also mentioned that his book The Postman Always Rings Twice took inspiration from the crime.


January 12, 1944 -
Probably Alfred Hitchcock's most underrated film, Lifeboat, opened in NYC on this date.



Seasickness hit the entire cast at various times during production, and many of them caught pneumonia after constant exposure to cold water, Tallulah Bankhead having suffered twice from it. Hume Cronyn almost drowned in a storm scene when he got caught under a large metal water-activator, used for making waves. Joe Peterson, a lifeguard hired especially for the production, saved him in the nick of time.


January 12, 1966 -
Holy homoeroticism!!!

ABC-TV premiered the tightly colored underwear wearing, perfectly genitally arranged comedy Batman on this date.



I'm not sure if it's still on the same bat channel though.


January 12, 1971 -
Oh Geez, stifle yourself.

The first episode of All In The Family made television history by broadcasting the sound of a toilet flushing on this date.



This is not, however, the first time a toilet tank is seen on television. That honor goes to Leave It to Beaver premiere episode, Captain Jack back in 1957.


January 12, 2010 -
A powerful 7.0 earthquake hit Haiti and crushed thousands of structures, from schools and shacks to the National Palace on this date. Thousands of people were believed dead and untold numbers were trapped. An estimated 3 million people were in need of emergency aid.



The quake left over 200,000 people dead. Some 4,500 prison inmates escaped during the earthquake. By April they were terrorizing neighborhoods and fighting turf battles.



And so it goes.

Some people should not bathe on TV

Don't ask why but Conan and Ricky Gervais take a bubble bath together on his show -



They should have seen if the William Howard Taft tub was available.


January 11, 1958 -
Lloyd Bridges starred as Mike Nelson, not the janitor trapped on a satellite, forced to watch cheesy movies (and mad scientists probed his mind) but a trouble shooting ex-Navy frogman on Sea Hunt on CBS-TV. The show ran for four years.



When the producer wanted Mike Nelson to wear a grey wetsuit, he had to have one specially ordered. Objecting to the high price, he bought a can of spray paint, sprayed it himself and had two of the crew hold Lloyd Bridges arms up while the paint dried. When it dried, Bridges couldn't put his arms down.

January 11, 1966 -
The children's adventure-series Daktari, debuted on CBS-TV on this date.



Erin Moran's (you remember Joanie from Happy Days) first major role was as "Jenny Jones" on Daktari. She played a seven-year-old orphan (although Erin was actually only five-years-old at the time) who was given a home by Dr. Tracy.


January 11, 1971 -
Mary Jane Blige, eight-time Grammy Award-winning and Golden Globe-nominated American R&B singer-songwriter rapper, record producer, and actress, was born on this date.




January 11, 1972 -
The TV movie, Kolchak, The Night Stalker, starring Darren McGavin premiered on ABC-TV on this date.



At the time of its original airing, it was the most widely viewed TV movie, with a 33.2 rating and a 54 share.


Today in History -
Harry Gordon Selfridge was born on January 11, 1864. Though American-born, he is best known as the founder of the British store Selfridge and Co., Ltd (think Macy's, for those of you unfamiliar with the store). He receives little or no attention here in the United States. His name does not appear in any textbooks, he is not honored with any holidays, his image does not appear on any currency, and his biography has never aired on A&E (It's airing on ITV in England). And yet Mr. Selfridge's philosophy has had more impact on western civilization than a dozen Aristotles.

His great maxim is uttered carelessly by a million voices every day, is enshrined in the halls of commerce and government alike, and has permeated our culture to the point where it has become a cliche. Like most successful ideas, we can hardly imagine that his concept was ever new or controversial; we must strain our imaginations to conceive a world unilluminated by his wisdom.

It was Mr. Selfridge's philosophy that "the customer is always right."



Mr. Selfridge's birthday should be celebrated throughout western civilization as a holiday of emancipation, no less significant than the signing of the Magna Carta, the drafting of the U.S. Constitution, or the invention of microwave popcorn.


January 11, 1878 -
Milk was first delivered in bottles by milkman Alexander Campbell, in New York on this date.

Previously, one had to keep a cow in a spare room of their apartment, making taking out the trash a mandatory daily occurrence.


January 11, 1922 -
The first insulin injection was given to Leonard Thompson, a teenager in Canada, on this date. He weighed only 65 pounds and was about to slip into a coma and die. Drs. Frederick Banting and Charles Best worked on the insulin, then called Isletin. Unfortunately, the injection was so impure that Thompson had a severe allergic reaction.



Researchers worked around-the-clock for the next 12 days to refine the process, and with the help of Dr. James Collip, the next injection went off without a hitch. The availability of insulin turned diabetes from a fatal condition into a treatable one.


January 11, 1928 -
Thomas Hardy, English novelist and all around curmudgeon, died near Dorchester, England on this date. In his will, Mr. Hardy specifically requested to be buried with his beloved first wife. His friends, however, didn’t think this was good enough for the author and lobbied to have him buried in Poet’s Corner at Westminster Abbey instead.

An ugly fight between Hardy fans and family ensued, until they reached a compromise. The author’s heart was removed and buried with his wife; his ashes were preserved in a bronze urn inside the Abbey. There’s also a long-running (but unsubstantiated) rumor that Hardy’s sister’s cat snatched the heart of a table, and that a pig’s heart had to be substituted for the burial ceremony.


January 11, 1940 -
The classic newspaper comedy, His Girl Friday, starring Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell, premiered in New York on this date.



Rosalind Russell thought, while shooting, that she didn't have as many good lines as Cary Grant had, so she hired an advertisement writer through her brother-in-law and had him write more clever lines for the dialog. Since Howard Hawks allowed for spontaneity and ad-libbing, he, and many of the cast and crew didn't notice it, but Grant knew she was up to something, leading him to greet her every morning: "What have you got today?"


January 11, 1943 -
President Franklin D. Roosevelt flew to Morocco for a top-secret meeting with British Prime Minister Winston Churchill. He had not flown since 1932, when he traveled from Albany, New York, to Chicago to accept his nomination at the Democratic national convention.



No U.S. president had previously flown while in office because the Secret Service regarded flying as a dangerous mode of transport.



And so it goes

You can hear the sound of the Underground trains

January 10, 1863 -
The London Underground (the Tube) opened to the public on this date. The Underground, a symbol of British culture, was the world's first underground railroad.



Passengers can still ride the original line, which ran between the London Paddington station and the Farringdon station.


January 10, 1949
45 RPM's - the term for the record format introduced by RCA on this date. This soon became the standard format used for vinyl “singles” for several decades. (Kids, RPM stands for “revolutions per minute.”)



Just think, all that pleasure with 7".


January 10, 1952 -
Cecil B. DeMille's circus extravaganza, The Greatest Show on Earth, opened on this date.



Charlton Heston was driving through Paramount Studios when he spotted Cecil B. DeMille, who he had never met. Heston waved. DeMille was so impressed by Heston's wave he made inquiries that ultimately led to Heston being cast as Brad in this film. This was only Heston's third film and skyrocketed him to fame.


January 10, 1964 -
The American version of the British program That Was The Week That Was (TW3), a weekly show of topical political satire, premiered on NBC-TV on this date.



Singer Nancy Ames, Buck Henry, Pat Englund and Alan Alda were among the regulars. The show proved equally groundbreaking in the United States and, like the British version, was no stranger to controversy.


Today in History:
Common Sense was a pamphlet written by Thomas Paine. It was first published anonymously (not that Tom didn't know his name - it was theoretically punishable by death to denounce the crown and Tom wasn't quick looking for death at that time) on January 10, 1776, before the American Revolution. Paine wrote it with editorial feedback from Benjamin Rush, who came up with the title.



The document denounced British rule, and through its immense popularity contributed to fomenting the American Revolution. The second edition was published soon thereafter. A third edition, with an accounting of the worth of the British navy, an expanded appendix, and a response to criticism by the Quakers, was published on February 14, 1776.


January 10, 1870 -
Victor Noir, French journalist, was killed by Prince Pierre Bonaparte. Noir had called on him with a companion to present his editor's challenge to a duel because of a journalistic dispute concerning Corsican politics. Bonaparte was so insulted to have been approached by mere "menials" (his phrase, apparently) that he slapped the hapless 22-year-old in the face, pulled out a pistol and shot him on the spot.

Over 10,000 people attended his funeral and public sentiment over Noir's death forces Napoleon III to abdicate. A statue of Noir s prostrate figure became a magnet for infertile women rubbing themselves against him as a sexual charm.



Once again, the french they are a funny race.


January 10 1883 -
A fire at the six-story Newhall Hotel in Milwaukee kills more than 71 people on this date. For years this was considered one of the worst single structure fires in the United States.

Two famous midgets residing there, General Tom Thumb (Charles Sherwood Stratton) and his brother-in-law Commodore Nut, are rescued by firefighters.


January 10 1927 -
The film Metropolis premiered in Berlin on this date. It was the most expensive silent film of the time, costing approximately 7 million Reichsmark to make.



While that seems like a very large sum of money due to the incredibly crushing inflation running rampant in Germany at the time, you could also just about buy a decent loaf of marble rye with that amount of money.


January 10 1948 -
Donald Fagen, singer and front man of the rock band Steely Dan, was born on this date.







In spite of themselves, Steely Dan was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in March 2001.


January 10 1982 -
You could no longer go to Paul Lynde to block on this date. Mr. Lynde was found dead of a heart attack, naked and holding a bottle of poppers in his West Hollywood home.



Mr. Lynde's bed companion, it appears, neglected to call 911 to report the emergency.

Kids, remember - don't count on that hustler to call the paramedics for you (that's always extra.)


January 10 1984 -
Cynthia Ann Stephanie Lauper became the first female recording artist since Bobbie Gentry (1967) to be nominated for five Grammy Awards: Album of the Year, Best New Artist, Best Pop Vocal Performance (Female), Record of the Year and Song of the Year on this date.



She may be unusual but Cyndi is still going strong more than 25 years later.



And so it goes.

Good News for Congress

While only 9% of Americans have a favorable opinion of Congress, according to Public Policy Polling, Congress did manage to beat out telemarketers, John Edwards, the Kardashians, lobbyists, North Korea, the ebola virus, Lindsay Lohan, Fidel Castro, playground bullies, meth labs, communism, and gonorrhea.

Bravo elected officials


January 9, 1959 -
It was the first crack of the whip and those doggie kept rolling when Rawhide premiered on CBS-TV on this date.



Your memory is probably playing tricks on you, Clint Eastwood was strictly a supporting player on the show, and not the star.


January 9, 1968 -
It Takes A Thief, starring Robert Wagner, premiered on ABC-TV on this date.



In the first season, Alexander Mundy was a cat burglar hired by American spy agency: The SIA. In the second season, he became a freelance operative.


Today in History:
January 9, 1768 -
The first modern circus opened in London. English cavalry sergeant Philip Astley staged the first modern circus, performing elaborate feats on the backs of horses racing around a ring.

And people paid good money to smell horse manure in a theatre.


January 9, 1913 -
Whether we shape the future in the image of our hopes, is ours to determine by our actions and our choices.



Richard Milhous Nixon, the 37th president of the United States, was born on this date.


Also born on this date -
January 9, 1913 (or 1911) -
Sing out Louise!!!



Rose Louise Hovick, actress, ecdysiast and writer, was born on this date.


January 9, 1915 -
When a person has an accent, it means he can speak one more language than you.



Fernando Álvaro Lamas y de Santos, actor and director, was born on this date.


January 9, 1981 -
Jesus saves and (insert your favorite sports figure here.)



Hockey Hall of Famer, Phil Esposito, said he would call it quits as a hockey player after the New York Rangers-Buffalo Sabres hockey game. It was a game that seemed like it might never end - both teams skated to a 3-3 tie. Esposito quit the New York Rangers and went on to become General Manager and coach of the Rangers. Phil Esposito played for the Boston Bruins when he won the Hart Memorial Trophy for Most Valuable Player in the NHL in 1969 and 1974 and helped lead the Bruins to two Stanley Cup Championships in 1970 and 1972 .



And so it goes.

A Gentle Reminder

If you didn't have the chance to hear Terry Gross' very moving interview with the late Maurice Sendak, just before his death, the NYT has created a wonderful encapsulation (with beautiful illustrations) of the piece.





The light kept shining in the east. Both Elvis the King (who was born on this date in 1935,)



(As I always say - lay your hand upon the screen and feel his power emanate from your loins.)

And Davy Jones (who was born on this date in 1947 - I hope where I'm over 65, people can touch the screen and feel me heal them with my loins)



were both born on this date.


January 8, 1973 -
Carly Simon received a gold record for the single, You're So Vain on this date.



It's pretty much agreed upon that she is singing about David Geffen. Unless, of course, it's about Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger, Kris Kristofferson or Cat Stevens or ...


January 8, 1968 -
Welcome to zee exotic world of undersea explorer...



The first episode of the documentary series, The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau: Sharks premiered on this date.


Today in History -
The Battle of New Orleans took place on January 8, 1815 and was the final major battle of the War of 1812. American forces, with General Andrew Jackson in command, defeated an invading British Army intent on seizing New Orleans and America's vast western lands.



Unfortunately the war ended with the signing of The Treaty of Ghent on December 24, 1814. News of the peace would not reach New Orleans until February.

Oops


The only 'recognized' monarchy to reign in the United States died on this date.

Joshua Norton was a businessman in San Francisco in the 1800's. In the 1840's, just before the Gold Rush, he tried to corner the market on rice and failed. He went from being very wealthy to being destitute overnight and the experience completely shattered his reason. A couple of months after this event, he put on a formal admiral's uniform, complete with gold braid and epaulets and strode in to the office of the newspaper. He handed the editor a large, official looking proclamation which stated in quite formal language that, due to popular demand, he hereby declared himself Emperor Norton I of San Francisco, California, and Mexico. He bade all his subjects show him loyalty and the other courtesies due a person of such eminent stature.



On the evening of January 8, 1880, Joshua Norton collapsed on the corner of California Street and Dupont Street (now Grant Avenue) while on his way to a lecture at the Academy of Sciences. His collapse was immediately noticed by another citizen who raised the alarm, and "the police officer on the beat hastened for a carriage to convey him to the City Receiving Hospital." Norton died before the carriage could arrive.

Norton's funeral was a solemn, mournful and large affair. Some accounts report that as many as 30,000 people lined the streets to pay homage, and that the funeral cortege was two miles long. He was buried at the Masonic Cemetery, at the expense of the City of San Francisco.

The day after his funeral, January 11, 1880, the San Francisco skies were blackened with a solar eclipse.


January 8, 1964 -
Lyndon B. Johnson declares his War on Poverty during his State of the Union address on this date.



Unfortunately, poverty continues to win.


January 8, 1992 -
Sushi, anyone?



George Bush, sick with the stomach flu, decided to revenge the US for the raid of Pearl Harbor at a Tokyo state dinner. He vomited in the lap of the Japanese Prime Minister while cameras are rolling, to the great amusement of everyone except the Prime Minister.



And so it goes.


Before you go - This is the new definition of TMI

In case it comes up

January 7, 1325 -
King Alfonso IV ascended the Portuguese throne on this date.

So now you know.

(Sorry for the late start today but I'm as sick as a dog - when did dogs become the measure of health)
Please start putting your Christmas trees curbside (remember that most of a pine tree is actually edible.)



And yet, do you really want wood chips stuck in your colon for most of the year?

This year, MulchFest will take place on January 12 and 13, 2013 (in NYC.) Parks will host 35 chipping sites and 35 additional drop-off locations: 70 sites in all!



Today in History:
January 7, 1800 -

Millard Fillmore, 13th President of the United States, was born on this date. (Often cited as one of the 10 worse Presidents because he backed the Compromise of 1850 that delayed the Southern secession by allowing slavery to spread.



And no, he didn't install the first bathtub in the White House, that was a hoax by Henry Louis Mencken.


January 7, 1894 -
William Kennedy Dickson receives a patent for the first practical celluloid film and decided on 35 mm for the size, a standard still used.



The earliest surviving copyrighted motion picture, the Edison Kinetoscopic Record of a Sneeze is a short film made by W. K. L. Dickson in January 1894 for advertising purposes. Often referred to as Fred Ott's Sneeze, this is is one of the world's earliest motion pictures and America's best known early film production. The star is Fred Ott, an Edison employee known to his fellow workers in the laboratory for his comic sneezing and other gags.


January 7, 1912 -
Charles Addams, cartoonist known for his particularly black humor and macabre characters, was spawned on this date.




January 7, 1943 -
The world's greatest inventor, Nikola Tesla, died alone in room 3327 of the New Yorker Hotel, of heart failure on this date in history.



Despite having sold his AC electricity patents, Tesla died with significant debts on the books.


January 7, 1957 -
Katherine Anne Couric, TV news host and colonoscopy spokes model, was born on this date.




January 7, 1967 -
The Newlywed Game premiered on ABC TV on this date (the show began airing in 1966 as a local afternoon show in some areas.)



I know your thinking about it - where was the most unusual place you and your husband made whoppee?


January 7, 1999 –
This is not a great day for Bubba - The impeachment trial of President William Jefferson Clinton began on this date.

It was only the second impeachment of a President in American history, following the impeachment of Andrew Johnson in 1868.



And so it goes.

You may open your last gifts and ...

Take the damn decorations down.

It's the Feast of the Three Kings (Gaspar, Melchior and Balthazar), Little Christmas, the Epiphany etc. If you're playing the home version of the game - the Gifts of the Magi were Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh (or the watch fob and a set of combs would have been an acceptable answer.)



May your day be filled with small moments of infinite joy and wisdom.


This should at least get a chuckle out of you - 53 terrible jokes by the Vlogbrothers




January 6, 1945 -
This Chuck Jones' Looney Tunes outing, Odor-able Kitty, premiered on this date.



This was Pepe LePew's debut. The only time we see that Pepe already has a wife and children.


January 6, 1963 -
See Jim try to swim to his dugout canoe through a lake of piranhas, while I watch safely from the studio, stirring the fresh ice in my second pitcher of martinis



Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom with Marlin Perkins began on NBC on this date.


January 6, 1973 -
The animated lesson series Schoolhouse Rock premiered on ABC with the Multiplication Rock series.



So kids, this is why a threesome is so special.


January 6, 1979 -
Soul Man, recorded by comedians John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd as the fictitious singing team, The Blues Brothers, debuted on Billboard's pop charts.



The Blues Brothers had originally been created for TV's Saturday Night Live, and had been so popular that it prompted several records and a movie with Jake and Elwood Blues. Soul Man peaked at No. 14 on the charts .


Today in History:
January 6, 1856 -
Sherlock Holmes, noted English apiarist, morphine and cocaine addict and sometimes detective, was born on this date.







"Elementary, my dear Watson", (was never actually said by Holmes.)


Franklin Pierce, served as the 14th President of the United States. Most historians agree that he was the worst President ever (time will tell) and after the Presidency, Pierce became a hopeless alcoholic (once running over an elderly woman while driving a carriage intoxicated.)



He started his presidency in a state of grief and nervous exhaustion. Two months before he took office, on January 6, 1853, the President-elect's family had boarded a train in Boston and shortly there after been trapped in their derailed car when it rolled down an embankment near Andover, Massachusetts. Pierce and his wife survived, merely shaken up, but saw their 11-year-old son Benjamin crushed to death.

Not a great way to start a new job.


January 6, 1941 -
During Franklin Roosevelt's 1941 State of the Union address, he delivered his famous speech on the Four Freedoms on this date. Roosevelt insisted that all people should have the freedom of speech and expression, the freedom to worship God in his own way, freedom from want and freedom from fear.



Though the speech was originally intended to move Americans towards involvement in World War II, the four freedoms played a large role in the subsequent creation of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.


January 6, 1942-
The Pan Am Pacific Clipper completed the first around-the-world trip by a commercial airplane on this date. The flight began December 2, 1941 and the plane flew over 31,500 miles during it's convoluted flight.



It had to complete the end of the trip in secrecy, since the Pearl Harbor bombing occurred while they were en route, and the captain was not sure how friendly American airspace would be.


January 6, 1994 -
Ice skater Nancy Kerrigan was attacked by Tonya Harding's bodyguard, Shane Stant on this date.



"Why? Why?"



And so it goes

What day can't be made better,

Without a Mash-up of Monsters from various movies



especially if you can say, "release the Kraken!"


It'S the eve of the Epiphany (Twelfth Night)  - you may begin to put your decorations away.



The final gift tally (365 gifts): you would have received 12 drummers drumming,

22 flutist, 30 members from the house of Lords, hopping and bopping to the Crocodile Rock, 36 Fan dancers, 40 angry dairy workers, on permanent coffee break, 42 Swans, trying to mate in your dining room (avert the childrens eyes) , 42 geese a' laying, 40 golden rings, 36 calling birds, 30 French hens, 22 turtledoves and 12 partridges in their respective pear trees.



Take the rings, set fire to the house and start a new life.


January 5, 1944 -
Another great movie from Preston Sturges, The Miracle of Morgan's Creek, premiered on this date.



Once you understand the internal logic of the movie, you can't believe he snuck it past the censors.


January 5, 1961 -
Mister Ed, the talking horse (with a daily diet was twenty pounds of hay, washed down with a gallon of sweet tea.,) debuted on CBS-TV on this date.



Mister Ed was produced, initially, by George Burns McCadden Productions. Burns later said that he hired Alan Young for the part of Wilbur Post because he "just seemed like the sort of guy a horse would talk to."


January 5, 1969 -
Brian Hugh Warner was born on this date.



He was always kind to his mother.


January 5, 1980 -
The Sugar Hill Gang's Rapper's Delight, was the first hip-hop song to made it to the Top 40 on this date.



Before the song took off, it was almost impossible to buy hip hop albums in record stores, and it was almost unheard of to play hip hop on the radio.


Today in History:
Sometimes, it's not so good to King (or his potential assassin either.) Louis the XV wasn't the most incompetent or profligate spending monarch.

The spending at the court of Louis XV was not any higher than under previous French kings, and certainly much lower than in some other European courts, such as in Russia, where Peter the Great and Empress Elizabeth spent enormous amounts of money to build palaces in and around Saint Petersburg. Court spending also helped to carry French arts to their zenith under Louis XV, and supported thousands of families of artists and craftsmen. Yet at the time the French public (the great unwashed), influenced as it was by a violent campaign of libels against the king and the Marquise de Pompadour starting in the mid-1740s, could only see royal incompetence and spending sprees. This was what may have inspired the assassination attempt on the king by Robert Damiens.

On January 5, 1757, would-be assassin Damiens entered the Palace of Versailles, as did thousands of people every day to petition the king. As the king was walking in the Marble Courtyard between two lines of guards lighting the way with torches, headed toward his carriage, which was waiting at the edge of the Marble Courtyard, Damiens suddenly emerged from the dark, passed through the guards, and stabbed the king in the side with a penknife. The 3.2 inch blade entered the king's body between the fourth and fifth ribs. The king, who was bleeding, remained calm and called for a confessor as he thought he would die. Thoughts of poison came to his mind. At the sight of the queen, who had come in a hurry, he asked for forgiveness for his misbehavior (Louis, as was the habit of most kings of his time, slept with anything that had an orifice). However, the king survived. He was probably saved by the thick layers of clothes he wore on that cold day, which cushioned the blade, protecting the internal organs. Allegedly, the blade penetrated only 0.4 inch into the king's body, leading Voltaire to mock what he called a "pinprick".



Damiens, who was mentally unstable, had been a servant of members of the Parliament of Paris where he had heard much criticism of the king. This, combined with the violent pamphlets and general discontent with the king, convinced him that he had to commit regicide in order to save France. In any case, it was the first attempt at regicide in France since the murder of King Henry IV by Ravaillac in 1610. The king, bent on forgiving Damiens, could not avoid a trial for regicide.

Tried by the Parlement of Paris, Damiens was executed on the Place de Greve on March 28, 1757, following the horrible procedure applied to regicides: after numerous tortures, Damiens was carried to the Place de Greve in the cold afternoon of that day. There, he was first tortured with red-hot pincers; his hand, holding the knife used in the attempted murder, was burnt using sulphur; molten wax, lead, and boiling oil were poured into his wounds. Horses were then harnessed to his arms and legs for his dismemberment. Damiens's joints would not break; after some hours, representatives of the Parliament ordered the executioner and his aides to cut Damiens's joints. Damiens was then dismembered, to the applause of the crowd. His trunk, apparently still living, was then burnt at the stake. There was an immense crowd to watch this gruesome spectacle, which nobody had witnessed in 147 years. Balconies in buildings above the Place de Greve were rented to women of the aristocracy for the exorbitant price of 100 livres per balcony (approx. $700 in 2007 US dollars).

Please feel free to drop these tidbits  at the next party you go to and impress your friends with your deep understanding of Pre-Revolution  France.  You wont have many friends afterwards, but feel free to do so.


January 5, 1919 -
The Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei was founded by Anton Drexler and others at the Furstenfelder Hof tavern in Munich on this date.

Why does so much of early Nazi history seems to center around beer halls?  It must have been something in those Bavarian Beer Purity laws.


January 5, 1933 -
Construction of the Golden Gate Bridge begins on the Marin County side, which spans the deep channel at the entrance to San Francisco Bay on this date.



People had to line up for more than four years before suicides can begin (The Golden Gate Bridge is the most prevalent place in the USA to commit suicide.)


January 5, 1941 -
Amy Johnson CBE, pioneering English aviatrix, drowned after bailing out into the Thames Estuary on this date. Although she was seen alive in the water, a rescue attempt failed and her body was never recovered.



In 1999, it was reported that she was accidentally shot down by British forces when she twice failed to give the correct identification code during the flight.

Oops.


January 5, 1995 -
On Eye to Eye, Connie Chung's interview with House Speaker Newt Gingrich's mother, Kathleen, aired on CBS, on this date, complete with the whispered comment from Kathleen that Newt thought first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was a 'bitch' .



I wonder what Newt thinks of the Secretary of State now.


January 5, 1998 -
Congressman Sonny Bono finally meets something that ends his bizarrely successful career - a pine tree at Heavenly Valley Ski Area on this date.



I guess the beat doesn't go on for him.



And so it goes.


Before I let you go - here's another video from the folks at Asap SCIENCE, wanting to Blow Your Mind (again)

The Holidays are nearly over

Today's gift count (286 gifts): you currently have 11 piper's piping,

20 drunken British men, in tight fitting trousers, knocking furniture over, 27 lap dancers (draw the shades, the neighborhood kids are staring into your windows) , 32 organized dairy workers striking for better working conditions, 35 Swans making a racket, befouling your second bathroom (I hope you have a second bathroom), 36 geese a' laying (begin practicing your technique for slaughtering fowl by ringing the geese's necks), 35 golden rings, 32 calling birds, 27 French hens, 20 turtledoves and 11 partridges in their respective pear trees.



Why are you still signing for any packages delivered at your home?


January 4, 1960 -
John Michael Stipe, the lead mumbler for R.E.M. was born on this date.



Radiohead is one of his favorite bands and he is friends with all the band's members.


January 4, 1963 -
Dave Foley, Actor/Comedian (The Kids In The Hall, News Radio) and Canadian was born on this date.



Dave has been friends with the other members of The Kids in The Hall since he was 19 years old.


Today in History:
January 4, 1643 –
...There is no disputin', we're all indebted to Sir Isaac Newton ...



Sir Isaac Newton, English physicist, mathematician, astronomer, natural philosopher, alchemist, and theologian was born on this date (or on Christmas day 1642 Old Style)



And imagine, he still had time to invent Fig Cookies.


January 4, 1903 -
Topsy was a domesticated elephant with the Forepaugh Circus at Coney Island's Luna Park. Because she had killed three men in three years (including a severely abusive trainer who attempted to feed her a lit cigarette), Topsy was deemed a threat to people by her owners and killed by electrocution on this date (Inventor Thomas Edison facilitates the entire affair.)



In an attempt to discredit Westinghouse and Nikola Tesla by showing how dangerous Alternating Current electricity was, Thomas Edison captured the event on film.

He would release it later that year under the title Electrocuting an Elephant (but that is another story.)


Raise your frozen Margaritas and toast dear old Stephen J. Poplawski. Mr. Poplawski was born in Poland on August 14, 1885, which was a fine place to be born if your wanted to be a farmer or fodder for the cannons of the next Austro-Hungarian Geopoliticial machination. He would have none of that and emigrated at age 9 with his parents to Racine, Wis (most children were usually beaten soundly when they suggested emigrating in the 1880's.) In 1918 he founded Stephens Tool Co. and in 1919 was hired by Arnold Electric Co. to develop an automatic malted milk mixer for use in restaurants (Racine being home of Horlick Malted Milk.)

On January 4, 1922 he filed a patent "for the first mixer of my design having an agitating element mounted in a base and adapted to be drivingly connected with the agitator in the cup when the cup was placed in a recess in the top of the base."



Well, you don't think they give you a patent for a machine that makes frosty, delicious alcoholic drinks, do you?


January 4, 1941 -
The animated short Elmer's Pet Rabbit was released on this date: it marks the second appearance of Bugs Bunny and the first to have his name on a title card.



It was directed by the legendary Chuck Jones. (Note that Bugs hasn't developed his characteristic buck teeth yet.)


January 4, 1943 -
Josef Stalin, evil dictator and abused child, appears as Time's 1942 Man of the Year.

Circulation for the magazine would have increased dramatically, if Stalin hadn't purged millions of Russian citizens.


January 4, 1960 -
Albert Camus, French writer, died in an automobile accident at age 46 on this date. In his coat pocket lay an unused train ticket.

He had planned to travel by train with his wife and children, but at the last minute accepted his publisher's proposal to travel with him.

If that isn't absurd, I don't know what is.


January 4, 1965 -
Thomas Stearns Eliot, (American-born) English poet, playwright, literary critic and noted Anti-Semitism, died in London, on this date.



I guess he finished measured out his life with coffee spoons?


January 4, 1984 -
Night Court starring Harry Anderson premiered on NBC-TV on this date.



After Selma Diamond passed away following the completion of the second season, she was replaced by Florence Halop due largely to the fact that she had comedy timing and mannerisms similar to Selma. However, when Florence passed away after completing just one season (Season Three), it was decided by the producers to hire a younger actress for the role and Marsha Warfield was hired as Roz.



And so it goes.

Start your day off the right way

This should slow any speeder down: entering a Mr. T-ter totter zone.

Alright let your mind absorb it, then move on.


I'm not sure if I played this when it was posted this summer, but it's a good time to catch up with it.  It's a Mash-up from PBS Digital Studios featuring Mr. Rogers singing, Garden of Your Mind.



So remember to ocassionally weed out the garden of your mind or it will become overgrown.


Today's gift count (220 gifts): you currently have 10 Leaping Lords, 18 Rockettes, 24 young milkmaid, 28 Swans making a racket, 30 geese a' laying, 30 golden rings, 28 calling birds, 24 French hens, 18 turtledoves and 10 partridges in their respective pear trees.

Hopefully you have very strong floor joist; the combined force of 10 men hopping and jumping around your house could be dangerous.



Begin thinking about fleeing the country (with the gold rings) and living in Canada under an assumed name.


Today in History:
January 3, 1521 -
Pope Leo X still angry about the defacing of Castle Church of Wittenberg, released his papal bull Decet Romanum Pontificem and excommunicated Martin Luther for challenging church doctrine on this date.

A little known fact but Luther was an excellent matador and waived his 95 theses in front of the bull


January 3, 1870 -
Enfranchising cable, silvered by the sea…

The construction of the Brooklyn-side wooden caisson of the Brooklyn Bridge began on this date.


January 3, 1952 -
The ominous, four-note introduction to the brass and tympani theme music, then the staccato voice over intones, Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to hear is true. The first regularly scheduled episode of Dragnet premiered on this date. (Badge 714 is the title of the syndication version of Dragnet.)



The actor Barton Yarborough died five days after finishing his scenes.


January 3, 1953 -
Frances Bolton and her son, Oliver from Ohio, become the first mother and son to serve simultaneously in the U.S. Congress.

I wonder if she kept telling him to sit up straight and stop talking to his neighbor while they were at work?


January 3, 1959 -
Alaska became the 49th state in the United States on this date.



Richard Nixon woke President Eisenhower in time for him to proclaimed Alaska to be the forty-ninth state of the United States. As was his wont, Nixon then gave Eisenhower his Rum Toddy, tucked him in for his afternoon nap and had Pat measure for the new curtains.


January 3, 1962 -
Pope John XXIII excommunicated Fidel Castro on this date.

Fidel has buried five popes since then and is still having a good laugh over that one.


January 3, 1967 -
Jack Ruby died of natural causes at Parkland Hospital, where Lee Harvey Oswald had died and President Kennedy had been pronounced dead after his assassination, on this date.

He could possibly be one of the only people involved in this sordid affair that did.


January 3, 1969 -
In New Jersey, 30,000 copies of John and Yoko's album Two Virgins were confiscated because the cover is deemed obscene. There is nothing more shocking than two naked multimillionaires on the cover of your Rock and Roll Album.

Kids, go ask your parents what albums were.


Before I let you go - here's a very trippy little video showing fireworks in reverse -





And so it goes

John Boehner has a potty mouth

Things got a little testy during the late negotiations to avoid the fiscal cliff. The Speaker tired and thirty from lack of booze served at the White House, told the Senate Majority Leader to 'go fuck himself', after the Majority Leader had accused the Speaker of running the House like a 'dictatorship.'

(I felt it was important to directly quote the Speaker, as he was calling out the Majority Leader in the White House Lobby. There are unwritten rules in Washington - There is no fighting in the War Room, and there is no cursing within ear shot of others in The White House lobby. We can at least, take solace in the knowledge that Malia and Sasha were not home at the time.)


Today's gift count (165 gifts): you currently have Nine ladies dancing,

16 young woman engaged in the dairy industry (and possibly their union rep. I've also never considered whether or not the cows come with them. If so contact the Omaha Steak Company), 21 Swans making a racket, 24 geese a' laying (check to see if you can make omelets for all those people), 25 golden rings, 24 calling birds, 21 French hens, 16 turtledoves and 9 partridges in their respective pear trees.



With this many people in the house, contact your local hit man and put out a contract on whomever is sending you these gifts.


January 2, 1882 -
The 28 year old Oscar Wilde arrived in New York City on this date to deliver a series of lectures across the U.S.A.

When a customs inspector asked him if he had anything to declare he replied, "Nothing but my genius." A cursory look through the Oscar Wilde Collection does not say whether or not Oscar enjoyed the full body cavity search by the TSA on that day.


Today in History:
January 2, 1492 -
After a siege that began in 1491, Abu 'abd-Allah Muhammad XII (also known as Boabdil) surrendered Granada (the last Moorish holdout in Spain) to Ferdinand and Isabella, the king and queen of Castile and Aragon, on this date. The incredibly elaborate ceremony, culminating with the handing over of the keys to the Alhambra, brought to an end over 700 years Muslim rule in Spain.

Legend has it that as the royal party moved south toward exile, they reached a rocky prominence which gave a last view of the city. Muhammad XII reined in his horse, and surveying for the last time the Alhambra and the green valley that spread below, burst into tears.

When his mother approached him she said : "Weep like a woman for what you could not defend as a man". The spot from which Muhammad XII looked for the last time on Granada is known as "the Moor's last sigh" (el último suspiro del Moro).


January 2, 1872 -
Brigham Young was arrested on charges of bigamy for having 25 wives on this date.

A cursory look through the Brigham Young Archives reveals that it's the first night he was able to sleep with both eyes closed in years.


January 2, 1890 -
Alice Sanger, the first female White House staff member began work on this date. She was hired as a stenographer for President Benjamin Harrison.

Sanger was the first woman to work a non-domestic service job in the White House, and her appointment was thought to be an olive branch to the growing suffragist movement.


January 2, 1935 -
Bruno Richard Hauptmann went on trial in Flemington, N.J., on charges of kidnapping and murdering the infant son of aviator Charles A. and Anne Lindbergh on this date.



(He would later be found guilty and executed for that crime that he probably did not committed.)


January 2, 1942 -
33 members of a German spy ring headed by Frederick or Fritz Joubert Duquesne were sentenced to serve a total of over 300 years in prison. The Duquesne Spy Ring, as they were known, is the largest espionage case in United States history that ended in convictions.

The 1945 film The House on 92nd Street was also a thinly disguised version of the Duquesne Spy Ring saga of 1941, but differs from historical fact. It won screenwriter Charles G. Booth an Academy Award for the best original motion picture story.


January 2, 1939 -
Time Magazine published its annual Man of the Year issue on this date for the year 1938. Time had chosen Adolf Hitler as the man who "for better or worse" (as Time founder Henry Luce expressed it) had most influenced events of the preceding year. The cover picture featured Hitler playing "his hymn of hate in a desecrated cathedral while victims dangle on a St. Catherine's wheel and the Nazi hierarchy looks on." This picture was drawn by Baron Rudolph Charles von Ripper, a German Catholic who had fled Hitler's Germany.

Who the hell else was nominated?


January 2, 1971 -
An advertising ban on TV commercials for tobacco products goes into effect on this date. The ban was delayed a day so that broadcasters could keep their commitments to advertisers during the Super Bowl the previous day.



Both the ABC and CBS networks later reported that the ban resulted in a fifty per cent drop in advertising revenue, for an estimated loss of $220 million. Under the Fairness Doctrine, the FCC also bans anti-smoking advertisements from broadcast.


January 2, 1974 -
President Richard Nixon signs a bill lowering the maximum U.S. speed limit to 55 MPH in order to conserve gasoline during an OPEC embargo.



Leadfoots everywhere cry out in pain.



And so it goes

Another year older

Hopefully you didn't enjoy your New Year's Eve celebration too much. I don't want to overtax your brain this morning so, here's some stuff, you may not know -

Today's gift count (120 gifts): you currently have Eight young woman engaged in the dairy industry, 14 Swans making a racket, 18 geese a' laying (fertilized goose eggs are going for about $82 per dozen), 20 golden rings, 20 calling birds, 18 French hens, 14 turtledoves and 8 partridges in their respective pear trees.



Remember to think kindly of women who work in the dairy industry - if it weren't for the unnatural interest Edward Jenner took in milk maids, we would never have the smallpox vaccine.


The Feast of the Circumcision of Our Lord is a Christian celebration of the circumcision of Jesus, eight days (according to the Semitic and southern European calculation of intervals of days) after his birth,

the occasion also celebrates the date on which the child was formally given his name, Jesus, a name derived from Hebrew meaning salvation or savior.


Tonight is the Seventh and last night of Kwanzaa.

Tonight celebrates Imani (Faith) - To believe with all of one's heart in one's people, one's parents, one's teachers, one's leaders and the righteousness and victory of one's struggle.


January 1, 1898 -
New York City annexes land from surrounding counties, creating the City of Greater New York.



The four initial boroughs, Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens and The Bronx, are joined on January 25 by Staten Island to create the modern city of five boroughs.


If you didn't get your Farmer's Almanac this year or suffer from lycanthropy, here is your guide to the Full Moons of 2013




January 27 - The Full Wolf Moon. Amid the zero cold and deep snows of midwinter, the wolf packs howled hungrily outside Indian villages. In London, impeccably dressed werewolves are often seen on the prowl in search of a dish of beef chow mein (and their hair is perfect.)



It was also known as the Old Moon or the "Moon After Yule." In some tribes this was the Full Snow Moon; most applied that name to the next Moon.


February 25 - The Full Snow Moon. Usually the heaviest snows fall in this month. Hunting becomes very difficult, and hence internet traffic increases threefold.



Some tribes also referred to this Moon as the Full Hunger Moon, since harsh weather conditions in their areas made hunting very difficult.


March 27 - The Full Worm Moon. In this month the ground softens and the earthworm casts reappear, inviting the return of the robins. Just what you want to think about in the morning - worm crap. The more northern tribes knew this Moon as the Full Crow Moon, when the cawing of crows signaled the end of winter; or the Full Crust Moon, because the snow cover becomes crusted from thawing by day and freezing at night. The Full Sap Moon, marking the time of tapping maple trees, is another variation.



To the settlers, it was also known as the Lenten Moon, and was considered to be the last full Moon of winter.


April 25 - The Full Pink Moon. The grass pink or wild ground phlox is one of the earliest widespread flowers of the spring.



Other names were the Full Pink Floyd Moon because remember - there is no dark side of the moon - it's all dark. 


May 25 - The Full Flower Moon. Flowers are abundant everywhere. Usually at your local Korean deli around the corner.



Other names include the Full Corn Planting Moon, or the Milk Moon (in a few months, the moon will be full of cheese.)


June 23 - The Full Strawberry Moon. This name was universal to every Algonquin tribe. However, in Europe they called it the Rose Moon. Also because the relatively short season for harvesting strawberries comes each year during the month of June . . . so the full Moon that occurs during that month was christened for the strawberry!



Best seen in Central Park, across from the Dakota.


July 22 - The Full Buck Moon, when the new antlers of buck deer push out from their foreheads in coatings of velvety fur. Again another disgusting image - bone pushing through flesh - for your early morning.



It was also often called the Full Thunder Moon, for the reason that thunderstorms are most frequent during this time. Another name for this month's Moon was the Full Hay Moon.


August 21 - The Full Sturgeon Moon, when this large fish of the Great Lakes and other major bodies of water like Lake Champlain is most readily caught. Sometimes, a sort of lunar madness occurs during this cycle, when people might chase the full moon with a little chopped egg and sour cream. Please direct these poor souls to Zabar's.



A few tribes knew it as the Full Red Moon because, as the Moon rises, it appears reddish through any sultry haze. It was also called the Green Corn Moon or Grain Moon.


September 19 - The Full Harvest Moon. Always the full Moon occurring nearest to the Autumnal Equinox.



This is the time of year, aging Canadian Rock stars will sing full out with their once achingly beautiful harmonies.


October 19 - The Full Hunter's Moon. With the leaves falling and the deer fattened, it is time to hunt.



Since the fields have been reaped, hunters can ride over the stubble, and can more easily see the fox, also other animals that have come out to glean and can be caught for a thanksgiving banquet after the harvest.


November 17, - The Full Beaver Moon (OK stop snickering.) Time to set beaver traps before the swamps freeze to ensure a supply of warm winter furs. Another interpretation suggests that the name Beaver Full Moon comes from the fact that the beavers are now active in their preparation for winter.



It is sometimes also referred to as the Frosty Moon. (Really stop laughing.)


December 17 - The Full Cold Moon (or the Full Long Nights Moon.) In this month the winter cold fastens its grip, and the nights are at their longest and darkest. Also sometimes called the "Moon before Yule" (Yule is Christmas, and this time the Moon is only just before it).



The term Long Night Moon is a doubly appropriate name because the midwinter night is indeed long, and because the Moon is above the horizon for a long time. The midwinter full Moon has a high trajectory across the sky because it is opposite a low Sun. Rudolph sometimes gets the night off because of the bright light.



And so it goes.