Because we care

We want to make sure our readers ride out any natural disaster, so here is a video advising you on how to survive the upcoming Robot Uprising:



Next up: what you should do, if Mitt Romney tries to hack off your head with a pair of blunt scissors.


May 11, 1974 -
ABC Records released Steely Dan's Rikki Don't Lose that Number, on this date, (Any Major Dude Will Tell You was the B-side.)



According to an article in Entertainment Weekly, back in 2006, it was revealed that the Rikki in question was Rikki Ducornet , a woman Donald Fagen knew while he attended Bard College.


It's the Three Chilly Saints days again

May 11, 12 and 13 are the feast days of Saints Mamertus, Pancras and Servais (or Servatuis or Gervatuis.) These three are known as the Three Chilly Saints not because they were cold during their lifetimes, but because these days are traditionally the coldest of the month. English and French folklore (and later American) held that these days would bring a late frost. In Germany, they were called the Icemanner, or Icemen Days, and people believed it was never safe to plant until the Icemen were gone.

Another bit of folklore claimed, "Who shears his sheep before St. Servatius's Day loves more his wool than his sheep." Allow you mind to wander to think of all the dirty jokes you can now tell yourself.


May 11, 1944 -
George Cukor's atmospheric thriller Gaslight, starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman, premiered on this date



The first time Ingrid Bergman met Charles Boyer was the day they shot the scene where they meet at a train station and kiss passionately. Boyer was the same height as Bergman, and in order for him to seem taller, he had to stand on a box, which she kept inadvertently kicking as she ran into the scene. Boyer also wore shoes and boots with 2-inch heels throughout the movie.


May 11, 1969 -
It's ... the day the Monty Python comedy troupe was formed.



John Cleese and Graham Chapman were introduced to Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones and Michael Palin on the set of their British TV series, Do Not Adjust Your Set.


May 11, 1970 -
The song Long & Winding Road by the Beatles was released in the US on this date.



It was their last American release.


Today in History:
May 11, 1310 -
For you fans of the Da Vinci Code, 54 members of the Knights Templar were burned at the stake in France for being heretics on this date.



Established during the Crusades to protect pilgrims traveling to the Holy Land, this military order came into increasing conflict with Rome until Clement V officially dissolves it at the Council of Vienna in 1312.


May 11, 1812 -
Spencer Perceval was a British statesman and Prime Minister. He is the only British Prime Minister to have been assassinated. On this date in 1812, Perceval was on his way to attend a session of Parliament when he was shot through the heart in the lobby of the House of Commons by a mentally unsound man, John Bellingham, who blamed his financial instability on a casual suggestion of Perceval.



He died almost instantly, uttering the words "I am murdered", and Bellingham gave himself up to officers. He was found guilty and hanged a week later. It is often thought to be illegal to die in the Palace of Westminster, and the place of his actual death and the place of his recorded death are unknown.


May 11, 1888 -
Israel Isidore Beilin was a Russian-born naturalized American composer and lyricist, and one of the most prolific American songwriters in history. Berlin was one of the few Tin Pan Alley/Broadway songwriters who wrote both lyrics and music for his songs.







Although he never learned to read music beyond a rudimentary level, with the help of various uncredited musical assistants or collaborators, he eventually composed over 3,000 songs, many of which (e.g. "God Bless America", "White Christmas", "Anything You Can Do", "There's No Business Like Show Business") left an indelible mark on American music and culture. He composed seventeen film scores and twenty-one Broadway scores.


May 11, 1907 -
A derailment outside Lompoc, California kills 32 Shriners, when their chartered train jumps off the tracks at a switch near Surf Depot. Many of them were scalded to death when the steam boiler ruptured.

No word on the fate of their groovy fezzes.


May 11, 1949 -
Siam changed its name to Thailand, because everyone was getting tired of those jokes where one guy would say, "Are you familiar with this place?" and the other guy would go "Yeah, Siam," and the first guy would go, "You gonna tell me where we are?" and the other guy would be like, "Yes: Siam." and it would go on and on and they'd never give it a rest.



Had anyone foreseen the glut of restaurants trading on the new name, however—Beau Thai, Thai Me Up, Thai One On, etc—the nation might still be called Siam.


May 11, 1960 -
Four Mossad agents abduct factory foreman, junior water engineer and professional rabbit farmer Ricardo Klement

(and, oh yeah he was also know as fugitive Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichmann) from a bus stop in Buenos Aires.


May 11, 1981 -
Jamaican music legend and U.N. Peace Medal recipient Bob Marley died of brain cancer in a Miami hospital at the age of 36 on this date.



Marley had quietly begun a course of radiation therapy at Sloan-Kettering a few months prior, but abandoned it just two days later after word leaked out.


And before I let you go, here's a heartwarming human interest story from Great Britain:  A Mr.Charles Philip Arthur George Mountbatten-Windsor from London, a 64 year old ne'er do well, gentleman farmer and divorcee, won a chance to host the evening weather forecast for BBC Scotland, the other day.



While he did not embarrass himself, his mom wistfully thought about how nice it would be if he had a real job but then realized what that would entail.



And so it goes

It's National Bike to Work Day!

Yeah, I'm not doing that. 

Let's start again, Today is Human Kindness Day!



So remember, try smiling at all the strangers shoving you around the subway this morning.


I believe Foamy the Squirrel may have helped the President evolve his opinion -



I'm not sure what type of animal may have to speak with Mr. Romney; perhaps an Irish setter.


May 10, 1994 -
Former building contractor, children party clown, and jail house artist John Wayne Gacy was executed by lethal injection. Police found 28 shallow graves in the crawlspace beneath Gacy's house in 1978.

After a dinner which included fried chicken, fried shrimp, and french fries, Gacy is strapped to a gurney. When asked if he has any last words, the serial killer obliges with: "Kiss my ass."


Today in History:
 May 10, 238 -
Former soldier and current Emperor Gaius Maximinus found out the downside of career advancement on this date when his army mutinied after a disastrous loss against a competing army, backed by the Senate and hacked off his and his son's heads and presented them to the Roman Senate in hopes of currying favor with the new administration.



You might have thought by this time, there would have been a warning sticker on the document you signed when you became emperor, pointing out the severe health risks associated with accepting the position.


May 10, 1871 -
France and Germany signed a peace treaty in which France had to give up a lot of land (Alsace-Lorraine) to Germany.

They weren't happy about it, so after World War I they took it back. In the second World War the Germans reclaimed it. After the war the victorious allies held it briefly but decided not to get involved. They gave it back to France, where it remains to this day.


May 10, 1899 -
Can't sing. Can't act. Balding. Can dance a little.







Balanchine and Nureyev rated him the greatest dancer of the twentieth century, and he is generally acknowledged to have been the most influential dancer in the history of filmed and televised musicals. Frederick Austerlitz was born on this date in Omaha, Nebraska.


May 10, 1924 -
In perhaps the single worst mistake in the history of crime fighting, Attorney General Harlan Fiske Stone selects J. Edgar Hoover to head the Bureau of Investigation, later known as the FBI.

Hoover, in his cha-cha heels, red lipstick and Raymond Burr Nipple Rouge will remain at the post until his death 48 years later. (Bet that's an image you won't be getting out of your head anytime soon.)


May 10, 1933 -
Joseph Goebbels presides over a public book burning in Berlin, which destroys more than 20,000 volumes. The collection includes books by Einstein and Freud.




Some 40,000 people watched or took part. During the bibliocaust, Goebbels declares: "We have directed our dealings against the un-German spirit; consign everything un-German to the fire." Other books burned by "unGerman" writers such as: Marx, Brecht, Bloch, Hemingway, Heinrich Mann and Erich Maria Remarque, author of All Quiet on the Western Front.


May 10, 1940 -
Winston Churchill was sworn in as British Prime Minister. Churchill formed a new government and served as the Conservative head of a coalition government with the opposition Labor Party.

Three days after being sworn in, he told parliament that he could offer only "blood, toil, tears, and sweat." This was grudgingly deemed satisfactory by a palpably disappointed parliament, but only after he agreed to be fitted with an IV.


May 10, 1941 -
Running out of fuel and unable to find a suitable spot to land his Messerschmitt, Deputy Fuhrer Rudolf Hess bails out over Scotland on this date.



When Hess claims to have made the trip in order to negotiate a peace treaty with England, the Nazis declare that he was a psychotic who "lived in a state of hallucination." After the war, Hess is confined to Spandau prison until his apparent suicide in 1987.


May 10, 1969 -
The Battle of Dong Ap Bia begins with an assault on Hill 937 on this date. It was one of the most significant battles of the Vietnam War as it spelled the end of major American ground combat operations.



It will ultimately become known as Hamburger Hill. The ground gained in the battle was soon abandoned to the North Vietnamese Army, which lost some 633 soldiers killed in the fight. The American losses at Hamburger Hill, though not the most in one single action of the war, set off a firestorm of protest in the US.


May 10, 1977 -
Joan Crawford succumbed to stomach cancer at the age of 73 on this date. In the early days of her career, Crawford had performed in several stag films, and later spent a considerable sum buying back the prints to destroy them.



Her final words were purportedly, "Damn it...Don't you dare ask God to help me," which were directed at her housekeeper, who had begun to pray out loud.

You can bet there are no wire coat hangers in Heaven.



And so it goes.

National Lost Sock Memorial Day

Today is the day that we take a moment out of our busy lives to mourn the lost of a sock while we do the laundry.

Remember that they have left behind a sock that misses them.


 Maurice Sendak passed away yesterday. 



 I suppose his wild rumpus has just begun.


You probably lead a very busy life.  You don't have the time to watch dozens of movies with people getting slapped around.  Well wait no more, the internet always provides:



That was actually the second version, here's the first:



Well, now that it's over, you can get back to work.


Today in History:
May 9, 1671 -
File this under - Balls, said the queen ...: Adventurer and criminal, Colonel Thomas Blood attempted to steal the Crown Jewels from the Tower of London on this date.



He and his accomplices were captured and the jewels rescued. Far from being punished, Blood was pardoned by the King himself and awarded a pension of £500 a year.


May 9, 1926 -
Explorers Richard Byrd and Floyd Bennett made the first flight over the North Pole. Two teams of aviators competed to be the first to fly over the North Pole. American Navy Lt. Cmdr. Richard E. Byrd and pilot Floyd Bennett claimed victory when they circled the North Pole.

On May 11, in spite of his disappointment, Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen launched the dirigible Norge on its planned flight, not merely over the pole, but all the way across the Arctic to Alaska. Byrd and Bennett in the Josephine Ford briefly accompanied Norge in a gesture of goodwill. Amundsen reached Alaska on May 14, but even today experts suspect that faulty navigation caused Byrd to miss the North Pole.


May 9, 1949 -
William Martin Joel, Grammy Award-winning rock vocalist/singer was born on this date.





I can still remember when one used to eagerly await a new Billy Joel album as much as a Bruce Springsteen album.


May 9, 1950 -
L. Ron Hubbard publishes the first edition of Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health on this date.

This follows on the heels of a feature article in the pulp sci-fi magazine Astounding Science Fiction.

A book review in the The New Republic describes the work as "a bold and immodest mixture of complete nonsense and perfectly reasonable common sense, taken from long-acknowledged findings and disguised and distorted by a crazy, newly invented terminology." The subsequent movement goes on to become one of the scariest, most powerful pseudoreligious cults in modern history.

But you didn't hear this from me.


May 9,1958 -
Alfred Hitchcock's thriller Vertigo starring James Stewart and Kim Novak premiered in San Francisco on this date.



Alfred Hitchcock was embittered at the critical and commercial failure of the film in 1958. He blamed this on James Stewart for "looking too old" to attract audiences any more (Stewart was nearly 15 years older than Barbara Bel Geddes and twice as old as Kim Novak.) Hitchcock never worked with Stewart, previously one of his favorite collaborators, again.


May 9, 1978 -
The body of former Italian premier Aldo Moro was discovered in the back seat of a Renault on this date. He had been kidnapped 54 days prior by the Red Brigades, who demanded the release of their incarcerated comrades.

When Italian authorities refused to give in, Moro's captors killed him, but not before forcing the hostage to hold a newspaper announcing his own death.


May 9, 1980 -
35 people are killed in Tampa, Florida when the Liberian cargo ship Summit Venture smashes into a supporting pier of the Sunshine Skyway Bridge on this date.



Seven vehicles, including a Greyhound bus, topple into the water 150 feet below.


May 9, 1983 -
Pope John Paul II retracts the Catholic Church's condemnation of astronomer Galileo Galilei, issued in 1633 by Pope Urban VIII. The Church had convicted the scientist of heresy, sentenced him to house arrest, and forced him to recant central scientific truths.

In the end, this error only took 350 years to correct. A speedy correction by church standards.


May 9, 1992 -
Final episode of Golden Girls airs on NBC-TV on this date.



That must have been some after party.


Before I let you go - Imagine if you will, that Martin Scorsese directed Taxi Driver for Disney:



Before you let the kids watch remember it rated WD - Wholesomely Disturbing.



And so it goes

You f*ck your way, I f*ck my way.

(Look up the quote, Dimitri Tiomkin supposedly said it, you'll find it)


May 8, 1926 -
... The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.



Donald Jay "Don" Rickles, Mr. Warmth - comedian and actor was born on this date.


May 8, 1943 -
Another Tex Avery masterpiece, Red Hot Riding Hood, was released on this date.



The original ending had the Wolf married to Grandma and him and his wolf sons cheering Red at the nightclub. Censors disapproved of the suggestion of bestiality in this ending, and so it was changed. The earlier ending exists only in stills.


May 8, 1946 -
David O. Selznick's very silly but highly entertaining, Duel in the Sun, premiered in New York on this date. (Even if you hate this film, you must watch the ending.)




The British writing-directing team of Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger were shown a pre-release screening of the film by producer David O. Selznick. Both were thoroughly unimpressed with the movie, but didn't want to offend Selznick by saying so. At the end of the film, when Gregory Peck and Jennifer Jones are crawling towards each other on a mountain and when they get near each other they both open fire, Pressburger turned to Powell and whispered, "What a pity they didn't shoot the screenwriter".



May 8, 1958 -
Hammer Studios had its turn at the classics when Horror of Dracula premiered in the US on this date.  For some very perverse reason, when I went to CYO day camp in 1972, we were shown most of the Hammer oeuvre (it was a very rainy summer.  It's very understandable that I was never the same.)



Apart from assorted snarls and hisses, Christopher Lee has only thirteen lines in this film.


Today in History:
On May 6, 1758, Maximilien-Francois-Marie-Isidore de Robespierre was born (this is not a Today in History fact but follow along, we'll get to it). Even in the revolutionary context of his age, Mr. Robespierre stands out as one of the most revolting figures in history.

M. Robespierre fought valiantly to help revolutionary France achieve liberty, fraternity, and equality but inadvertently caused an unfortunate turn of weather known as the "rain of terror."



At first this rain caused only French loyalists to lose their heads, but M. Robespierre's egalitarian convictions led him to conclude that citoyens from all walks of life should lose theirs as well. The celebrated chemist Atoine-Laurent Lavoisier, for example, was beheaded on May 8, 1794 for having identified oxygen, which people mistakenly thought to be one of the noble gases.



M. Robespierre ended up losing his own head on the guillotine; this was called poetic justice by some Frenchmen and irony by others. This disagreement eventually produced the Napoleonic Age, in which soldiers had to crawl on their stomachs until Napoleon was disabled by the sight of Elba.


May 8, 1886 -
John Stith Pemberton was druggist and drug addict in North Carolina, plagued by his morphine addiction. Pemberton began work on a coca and cola (kola) nut beverage. It was intended to stop headaches and calm nervousness, but others insist he was attempting to create beverage to help control his addiction, also afflicting other wounded Confederate veterans (he was shot once and slashed with a saber). At that time, beverages containing coca leaf, which in turn contains cocaine were believed to be helpful in combating dependence on opiates. He began this process at his Columbus laboratory, but soon after the war, moved his entire operation to Atlanta.



He created the formula in a brass kettle in his backyard on May 8th 1886. He instructed his assistant, Venable, to mix it with ice water and chill it. They drank it, and both loved it (of course they did - who wouldn't love a drink with cocaine in it). But then Venable accidentally mixed it with carbonated water. They decided to sell it as a fountain drink, as an alternative for root beer and ginger ale.



Pemberton's bookkeeper, Frank Mason Robertson suggested that they name it Coca Cola for the Coca leaves and Kola (cola) nuts in it. Indeed, Coca-Cola was originally advertised (in part) as a cure for morphine addiction.

Oh, for the original formula.


May 8, 1945 -
Let's face it, Harry S. Truman was a shlub for most of his adult life. He was a failed businessman. He was a minor cog in a a political machine when he was picked to be Senator for his home state, Missouri. Roosevelt picked him to be his Vice President to spite his former Vice President, Henry Wallace, who was thought too liberal. Truman's vice-presidency was relatively uneventful, and contact with the White House was minimal; he was not asked for advice nor informed of major decisions. Truman might have slipped into historical obscurity had Roosevelt not to have a massive stroke and die on April 12, 1945.

Truman's birthday was coming up and Germany, well, the part of it that didn't commit suicide in the bunker or fled to Argentina wanted to give the new President a special gift. So on May 7th, the Chief-of-Staff of the German Armed Forces High Command, General Alfred Jodl, one of the only German's left standing, signed the unconditional surrender documents for all German forces to the Allies. All active operations were to cease at 23:01 Central European Time on May 8 1945, Truman's 61st birthday.



And what did Jodl get for this special gift - a necktie party at the end of his trial at Nuremberg. It was later learned that Jodl was neither guilty of crimes of war punishable by death under international law, nor of other crimes which would have made him a criminal or abuser of military power.

Oops, that what you get for trying to be nice!


May 8, 1963 -
The first James Bond film, Dr No, starring Sean Connery as the fictional MI6 agent 007, premiered in US on this date.



Author Ian Fleming wanted his cousin Christopher Lee to play Dr. No. Fleming also asked Noel Coward to play the part of Dr. No. Coward turned down the part by replying with a telegram that read, "Dr. No? No! No! No!"  Max von Sydow turned down the part in order to play Jesus Christ in The Greatest Story Ever Told, and would finally play a Bond villain in Never Say Never Again. The role went to Joseph Wiseman, the only early Bond villain not to have his voice dubbed by another actor.


May 8, 1984 -
Joanie (Erin Moran) and Chachi (Scott Baio) tied the knot (finally) on Happy Days, on this date.



The comedy series, starring Henry Winkler, Tom Bosley and Marion Ross (Ron Howard and Anson Williams had already left the show), was winding down in its final season on ABC-TV.


Before I let you go - Here's the most bizarrely beautiful tribute to the Beastie Boys



once again, RIP MCA



And so it goes

Super Duper

May 7, 1901 -
In Westerns you were permitted to kiss your horse but never your girl.



Gary Cooper, original boytoy, iconic actor and womanizer, was born on this date.


Watch this clip then I have a question:



How high was this guy when he first realized that he could inflate his dog?  Or is this another monkey butt licking incident?


Today in History:
May 7, 399 BC (according to Plato) -
Greek authorities forced philosopher Socrates to end his life by drinking a potion containing hemlock for his teaching methods which aroused skepticism and impiety in his students.



... Socrates, what is truth?' 'Socrates, what is beauty?' Never once did any of you guys say 'Socrates, hemlock is poisonous.' Thanks a lot, you guys ...



Those must have been some parties, if you get condemned to death afterward.


May 7, 1895 -
In Saint Petersburg, Russian scientist Alexander Stepanovich Popov demonstrates to the Russian Physical and Chemical Society his invention - the first in the world radio receiver.

Unfortunately, since no one had invented regularly scheduled broadcasts, the demonstration was a confusing affair.


May 7, 1915 -
A very minor league Archduke and his wife got themselves killed in the Balkans. Before you you say conflagration, half the world was at war. On February 4, 1915, Germany declared the seas around the British Isles a war zone and any Allied ships in the area would be sunk without warning. King George V's government chose to ignore the warnings, as they were written in German. This seems odd, as George spoke German, his grandfather was German (Prince Albert) and his first cousin was Kaiser Wilhelm II.



Anyway, a German submarine, U-20, sank the Lusitania, killing 1200, on this date. There were no star-crossed young lovers aboard, however, so instead of making a movie about it, the U.S. had to enter World War I.


May 7, 1920 -
With much fanfare the Treaty of Moscow was signed on this date. Soviet Russia recognizes independence of the Democratic Republic of Georgia.

No one bothered to tell Lenin and the Soviets invade the country six months later.



May 7, 1937 -
The Hindenberg wreckage still lies smoldering having crashed crashed and burned in Lakehurst, New Jersey, killing thirty-six yesterday.

The good news was, it provided a really cool cover for Led Zeppelin's first album and a fairly good basis for a novel by E. L. Doctorow.


May 7, 1975 -
President Gerald R. Ford declared an end to the Vietnam War.



Almost 3 million Americans served in Vietnam. Between 1965 and 1975, the United States spent $111 billion on the war ($686 billion in 2008 dollars). This resulted in a large federal budget deficit. The war demonstrated that no power, not even a superpower, has unlimited strength and resources. But perhaps most significantly, the Vietnam War illustrated that political will, as much as material might, is a decisive factor in the outcome of conflicts.



And so it goes

It the halfway point in Spring today (Summer is almost here!)

It the halfway point in Spring today (Summer is almost here!)

Today is International No Diet Day (INDD). It's set aside as a day of relief from the stress of dieting. Instead, there is an opportunity for purposeful body image acceptance.



Kids, it's fun to go off your diet now and then but for heaven sakes don't make the mistake John made - don't say that you're hungry.


Just before I went to bed last night, I stumbled upon this video - an animated version of a children's book based on Space Oddity -



Now you know what to get that little depressive kid you know.


May 6, 1950 -
The late Elizabeth Taylor got married for the first time to Conrad Hilton Jr on this date.

While that marriage barely lasted a year, Ms. Taylor liked to get married and married and married and married (twice) and married and married again and never got carried away.

Kids, it's fun to take the plunge now and then but for heaven sakes don't be like Ms. Taylor. Say NO to serial monogamy.


Today in History:
May 6, 1864 -
Generals James Longstreet (one of the foremost Confederate generals) and Micah Jenkins were both seriously injured by their own troops at the Battle of Wilderness on this date. (What is it with southern generals and friendly fire?) Unlike Stonewall Jackson, who also suffered from friendly fire and Gen. Jenkins, who died of his head wound a few hours later, Gen. Longstreet recovered, although his hearing was lost.

After the war, he spent the remainder of his life in an attempt to reconcile South with North (along with his West Point roommate, U. S. Grant) and was one of the last of Lee's top generals to die in 1903. His brilliance as a commander and tactician have only recently become widely accepted .

Kids, it's fun to lead your troops into battle now and then but for heaven sakes don't be like Gen. Longstreet. Say NO to Civil War re-enactment.


May 6, 1856 -
Sigmund Freud, cigar smoking Austrian, cocaine sniffing, father of psychoanalysis, was born on this date.




Even though Freud claimed he took his cigar out of his mouth every now and then, he battled cancer of the jaw from 1923 until his death in 1939 in London (from doctor assisted suicide.)

Kids, it's fun to smoke a stogie now and then but for heaven sakes don't be like Siggy - Take it out of your mouth, now and again.


May 6, 1910 -
Albert Edward Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, known as the 'Uncle of Europe' because he was related to nearly every other European monarch, was not having a good day. Dealing with a case of severe bronchitis (brought on by his life long heavy cigar smoking) and urged by his family to rest, Edward VII suffered a series of heart attacks on this date. Trying to lighten his father's mood, the future George V, the Prince of Wales informed his father that his horse had won a race that afternoon. The King replied, "I am very glad" and promptly lapsed into a coma. He died 15 minutes later.




Edward's wife, Alexandra of Denmark, is the patron saint of understanding wives. She was known to be quite fond of and enjoyed the company of Edward's mistress, Jennie Jerome (Lady Randolph Churchill, mother of Winston.) Alexandra was equally fond of Agnes Keyser and it was said also enjoyed her company and approved of her utter need of discretion. She apparently permitted, Alice Keppel, one of the king's many mistresses, at Edward's side when the King was on his deathbed.

Interesting aside: While Edward waited over 50 years for his mother, Queen Victoria's retirement, Edward excelled to two things: women and excessive consumption. He spent so much time at the exclusive brothel, Le Chabanais, he had his own room, with his coat of arms over the bed. The future King enjoyed nothing more that to while away an afternoon assignation with a woman in a luxurious swan-necked bath, filled to the brim with champagne.  Far more interesting was his siège d'amour.



Edward had become so overweight that he had a Love Chair, known as the "siege d'amour", specially built for himself. Examine the photo carefully, the chair not only helped with his weight but allowed the Prince to engage in relations with two, and some say more, women at the same time.  (I do not have the instruction manual, allow your imagination to work overtime.)

Oh, death and love among the royals.

And what did we say about cigar smoking!


May 6, 1915 -
George Orson Welles, magician, director, writer, actor and producer, who worked extensively in film, theatre, television, and radio, was born on this date.



Considered washed up by age 28, Welles had to struggle the rest of his life to complete some of film history's most complex films.

It must have sucked to be Orson Welles.


May 6, 1937 -
At 7:25 pm, the German dirigible The Hindenburg (Pride of the Nazi Zeppelin fleet) burned while landing at the naval air station at Lakehurst, NJ. On board were 6l crew and 36 passengers. The landing approach seemed normal, when suddenly a tongue of flame appeared near the stern. Fire spread rapidly through the 7 million cubic feet of hydrogen that filled the balloon.



Within a few seconds the zeppelin exploded in a huge ball of fire. The ship fell tail first with flames shooting out the nose. It crashed into the ground 32 seconds after the flame was first spotted; 36 people died. Captain Ernst Lehmann survived the crash but died the next day. He muttered 'I can't understand it.'


The cause remains the subject of debate even today. Once again, it's fun to take flight in a lighter than air dirigible now and then but for heaven sakes don't be like Capt. Lehmann. Say NO to taking rides in Nazi vehicles.


May 6, 1961 -
George Clooney, award-winning actor, director, producer, screenwriter and humanitarian, was born on this date.



He was also named People's 2006 Sexiest Man.

It must totally suck to be George Clooney.


May 6, 1962 -
The first US nuclear warhead fired from a Polaris submarine was launched. The submerged USS Ethan Allen (SSBN-608) test-fired a Polaris A-2 missile with a live nuclear warhead across the Pacific Ocean toward Christmas Island, 1,700 miles (2,700 km) away.



The test, code-named Frigate Bird, was the only one the US ever conducted of any nuclear ballistic missile from launch through detonation. After a 12.5-minute, 1,200-mile (1,900 km) flight, the warhead exploded in the air between 10,000 and 15,000-ft (3,000 and 4,600-m) high with a yield of 600 kilotons.

Kids, don't get me started about living on a South Sea Island in the middle of a nuclear test zone.



And so it goes.

Dark is not the opposite of light; it's the absence of light

MCA, AKA Adam Nathaniel Yauch, lost his battle with cancer yesterday.  He was 47.









I'm sure that Adam would have appreciated that throughout his obit in the NYT, he was referred to as 'Mr Yauch'.


Hopefully you didn't forget to pick up fresh mint for those juleps for the Greatest Two Minutes in Sports.

Today is is the 138th annual 'Run for the Roses' at Churchill Downs.  (Our money's on Done Talking!)


Please take a moment from cutting those limes and getting that sea salt ready for the massive margarita you all have to make to celebrate this day, For those of you who don't know - it's not Mexican Independence Day (that's September 16th) - it's the celebration of their victory over the French.



If you need another reason to celebrate the day - A US patent was issued for the first bottle with a screw cap and a pour lip to Edward A. Ravenscroft, Glencoe, Illinois (No 2,039,345.) Abbott Laboratories of North Chicago manufactured the bottles.



And remember nobody pisses in the beer, that just a stupid urban legend.


Today in History
May 5, 2349 BC -
Noah's Ark landed on Mount Ararat, according to calculations by James Ussher, Archbishop of the Church of Ireland.


According to the good bishop, Noah heard about the two for one Margaritas at Senor Swanky's.


May 5, 1821 -
Napoleon died on the island of St. Helena on this date. Some suspect from arsenic poisoning.



More likely, he died from stomach cancer as did his father. But then who knows, I wasn't there, were you?


May 5, 1891 -
Music Hall (Carnegie Hall) opened in NYC on this date with Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, noted Russian composer and secret sodomite, as guest conductor.




It was quite a celebration. Andrew Carnegie’s new Music Hall opened with a five-day music festival on this date.


May 5, 1925 -
High school teacher John T. Scopes was arrested on this date for teaching evolution by authorities in Dayton, Tennessee, as part of a publicity stunt to make the town famous.



Since Scopes admitted teaching the theory, he was found guilty, and the law remained on the books in the backward state until 1967.


May 5, 1945 -
Mrs Elsie Mitchell and five neighborhood children were killed while attempting to drag a Japanese balloon out the woods in Lakeview, Oregon on this date. Unbeknownst to Mitchell and the children, the balloon was armed, and it exploded soon after they began tampering with it.



They were the only people killed in action on the US mainland during World War II.


May 5, 1961 -
Alan B. Shepard is the first American in space, with a fifteen minute suborbital flight. He was forced to piss himself in his suit prior to launch, as it lacked an evacuation system.




He and his soiled space suit were launched in the 2,000-lb. capsule Freedom 7 from Cape Canaveral, Florida, by a Mercury-Redstone 3 rocket. The flight traveled 302 miles at a speed relative to the ground of of 4,500 mph.

Aren't you glad you know that now.


May 5, 1994 -
Michael Fay, an American teenager, was charged along with others for vandalism in Singapore. Fay’s original sentence was four months in jail, a large fine and six caning strokes. With the enormous amount of media coverage in the United States and the intervention of U.S. President Clinton, this was reduced to approximately 3 months in jail, and four strokes.



Although, in the U.S., this is considered unusual and harsh punishment for vandalism, U.S. public support for the whacking was overwhelming (running 90% in Fay’s home town of Dayton, Ohio). Mr. Fay was obviously a popular kid back home. Also, many a strapping youth from Chelsea would have gladly dropped trou, exposed their firm and waxed buttocks, grabbing their ankles and manly taken four and twenty lashes with barely a whimper.

Oh, the youth of Dayton, Ohio.



And so it goes.

Was this in the job description?

I'm just going to quote this directly from the Wuhan Evening News (yes, I read various news items every day - I find the Latvian Herald editorials very informative): Yesterday, Wuhan Zoo Monkey caretaker Zhang Bangsheng unbelievably used his tongue to lick a small monkey’s butt!

50-year-old Zhang Bangsheng used warm water to clean a small Francois’ Leaf Monkey’s buttocks, then began using his mouth to lick it, not stopping for over an hour, until the little monkey defecated a single peanut. Only after the peanut was defecated did Zhang Bangsheng laugh with satisfaction.

Youth of America what to know - Why is Mr. Bangsheng a hero for 'tossing a monkey's salad' but

Mr. Eric Antunes of Clearwater, Fla was arrested for having carnal knowledge with his girl friend's pit bill mix.


May 4 is called Star Wars Day.



You get it - May the Fourth be with you.

Oh, never mind.


Exciting news - Here's a newly released version of Star Wars as a Telenovela.



So remember kids - don't let your loins be your downfall.


May 4, 1949 -
The final pairing of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers (and their only color film), The Barkleys of Broadway, premiered on this date.



Fred Astaire had sung "They Can't Take That Away from Me" to Ginger Rogers previously in Shall We Dance, but they had never danced to it. Rogers suggested that they use the song again (this time dancing), and so it was included.


Today in History:
May 4, 1626 -
Dutch explorer Peter Minuit landed on what is now Manhattan island, where a little settlement had been established on the southern tip by the Dutch East India Company, called New Amsterdam.



While the Indians have been pissed off even since then, there are some in Congress are investigating whether or not they can sell NYC back to the Indians.


May 4 1854 -
Joseph Tussaud returns to London with the well-used blade of the guillotine he purchased from Clement Sanson, the last in a line of Sansons who held the office of Executioner of Paris for over 150 years.

The blade is now part of Tussaud's Wax Museum collection.


May 4, 1886 -
At Haymarket Square in Chicago, a labor demonstration for an 8-hour workday turned into a riot when a bomb exploded. Seven policemen were killed and some 60 others injured. Only one policeman was killed in the strike.



Three labor leaders were executed Nov 10, 1887, for the bombing. The Haymarket affair is generally considered to have been an important influence on the origin of international May Day observances for workers.


May 4, 1891 -
Noted apiarist and amateur detective, Sherlock Holmes reportedly 'died' during a fight with master criminal (and his one time math tutor) Professor James Moriarty at Reichenbach Falls.



Mr. Holmes re-appears three years later next to discuss his 'disappearance'. It has been speculated that his friend and chronicler, Dr. John H. Watson, attempted to cure Holmes of his life long addiction to cocaine and morphine during this time period.


May 4, 1954 -
An Old Man goes fishing. It was a good day to fish. He catches a fish. It was a big fish. It was a good day for the fish to die. Sharks, big sharks eat the big fish before the old man gets back to shore. The Old Man goes home to his shack and falls asleep. It was a deep sleep. He dreams about lions in Africa. They are big lions.




Ernest Hemingway wins the Pulitzer Prize.


So class, either Santiago is a defeated hero or an undefeated hero. Throw in references to Jesus Christ, Joe DiMaggio, the sin of pride and greed and "A man can be destroyed but not defeated" and you have your Master's Thesis.


May 4, 1970 -
28 Ohio National Guardsmen read protesting students of Kent State the riot act but the students, as was their wont, did not disperse. So they shot them.



The Guardsmen killed four students and wounded nine others at Kent State University on this date.


May 4, 1973 -
The first time on network TV (if you consider PBS network TV) - Female Nudity - Valerie Perrine appears in the altogether in Bruce Jay Friedman's Steambath.



Sorry folks, I don't have full clip.


May 4, 1991 -
To celebrate his father's birthday the previous day, Bing Crosby's son Dennis Crosby put a shotgun to his head, ending his life in a boarding house in California. A younger brother, Lindsay, had also killed himself with a shotgun two years earlier.



Once again, Bing must have been a lovely person.


May 4, 2001 -
After dinner at Vitello's in Studio City, film and television actor Robert Blake remembers that he left something at the restaurant. When he returns to the car, he discovers his wife, Bonnie Lee Bakley Paulakis Gawron Moon Besly Brooksher Webber Telufson Wolfe Ray Blake (yes, she was married to nine other men before Blake) , slumped over in the passenger seat. She had been shot in the head by person or persons unknown. Bakley later died of her injury.



One year later, Blake was charged with the murder. To the astonishment of some, he was later acquitted of the charges. It was actually suggested during the trial, by the defense, that a list of people with possible motives to kill Bonnie Lee would be longer than the Los Angeles Phone Directory. (Bakley's three children filed a civil suit against Blake asserting that he was responsible for their mother's death. On November 18, 2005, the jury found Blake liable for the wrongful death of his wife and ordered him to pay $30 million.)



And so it goes

This is the must have gift of the century

I will be amassing my army of laser shooting sharks any day now.

No evil genius should be without one!


Once again, it's Lumpy Rug Day.

And once again, I have to ask - Lumpy Rug Day?


May 3, 1903 -
Harry Lillis Crosby, singer, actor, reformed alcoholic, pot smoker and child beater was born on this date.



Hey, maybe Bing wasn't such an awful father. Maybe it's just coincidental that two of his sons committed suicide.


May 3, 1928 (or 1933, you can't expect the hardest working man in show business to keep track of small details like which year he was born.) -
James Brown, The Godfather of Soul, was born in Augusta, Georgia on this date.



In 1992, Brown was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Award at the 34th annual Grammy Awards.


May 3, 1941 -
Frank Capra's darkly comedic drama, Meet John Doe, premiered on this date



I've often thought how this film would play with one of Capra's alternate endings - the one in which Cooper does commit suicide.

This is the film you should watch on Christmas Eve.


Today in History:
Niccolo Machiavelli was born on May 3, 1469.



Machiavelli proved that the yen justifies the beans, and is therefore reviled.


May 3, 1494 -
Columbus first sighted the island of Jamaica on this date.

He and his crew remained on the island for some time, no doubt attracted by the tropical drinks, lush golf courses, exciting night life, and parasailing, but in the end were driven away by the high prices.


May 3, 1937 -
A short little southern lady wrote a novel for her own amusement, and with solid support from her husband, she kept her literary efforts a secret from all her friends. She would hide the voluminous pages under towels, disguising them as a divan, or hide pages in her closets or under her bed. She wrote in a haphazard fashion, writing the last chapter first, and skipping around from chapter to chapter.

In a nutshell, her novel was about a young woman who spend nearly 400 pages chasing after a man that she realizes in the end that she never really loved and (possibly) loses the man that she really does.



It was a great surprise to Ms. Mitchell that on June 30, 1936 when her voluminous novel was published. Even more shocking, on May 3, 1937, Margaret Mitchell won the Pulitzer Prize for Gone With the Wind.


May 3, 1942 -
Executive Order 9066, signed by Pres. Franklin D. Roosevelt, was issued by Lt. Gen’l. John DeWitt from his headquarters in the SF Presidio on this date. It called for the evacuation of Japanese-Americans from Los Angeles effective May 9. Some 110,000-112,000 Japanese-Americans were settled in 10 relocation camps, the first of which was in Manzanar in Owens Valley, Ca. In the Bay Area most Japanese-Americans were sent to the Tanforan racetrack where they were put up in stables and later relocated to Topaz, Utah.



Soon after, the War Relocation Authority hired Dorothea Lange, a photographer already well-known for her striking Depression-era photos of migrant workers, to document the internment process. Lange's poignant photos reflected her disagreement with government policy and brought her into conflict with her employers.


May 3 1945 -
British torpedo bombers attack the Cap Arcona and the Thielbek in the Baltic Sea. Both vessels are flying white flags, as there are almost 7,000 concentration camp prisoners aboard. In the process of abandoning ship, the German captain of the Arcona uses a machete to hack his way through the mass of people.




When the ships sink, virtually all of the prisoners drown, making this the single largest loss of life in the history of ocean travel.

You have to marvel at the honorable naval tradition of Germany.


May 3, 1952 -
The first airplane landed at geographic North Pole on this date. It was a ski-modified U.S. Air Force C-47, piloted by Lieutenant Colonel William P. Benedict of California and Lieutenant Colonel Joseph O. Fletcher of Oklahoma.

The pilots were mum about meeting Santa Claus while at the North Pole.


May 3, 1963 -
Eugene "Bull" Connor directed security forces in Birmingham, Alabama to unleash police dogs on civil rights protesters, and then blast them with high-pressure fire hoses. Unfortunately for segregationists, television networks brought the footage to a shocked national audience on this date.



In the wake of the overwhelming public response, President Kennedy quips that Connor "has done more for civil rights than almost anybody else."


May 3, 1971 -
All Things Considered premieres on 112 National Public Radio stations and marks the emergence of National Public Radio (NPR), the US national, non-commercial radio network.



Follow me, if you will - do you remember the film, The Hunger with Catherine Deneuve and David Bowie (and Susan Sarandon) Anyway, remember when David Bowie's vampire character begins growing too old and Catherine Deneuve has to put him upstairs with all her other now elderly former vampire companions.

Well, when you start listening to NPR, you might as well tell David Bowie to move over, you're joining him.


May 3, 1973 -
Construction commenced on the Sears Tower (now known as the Willis Tower) in Chicago in August 1970 and the building reached its originally anticipated maximum height on this date. When completed, the Sears Tower had overtaken the twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York City as the world's tallest building.



The tower has 108 stories as counted by standard methods, though the building owners count the main roof as 109 and the mechanical penthouse roof as 110. The distance to the roof is 1,450 feet, 7 inches. The Willis Tower is the tallest building in the United States and the fifth-tallest freestanding structure in the world, as well as the fifth tallest building in the world to the roof.


May 3, 1991 -
Jerzy Kosiński was not having a good day. The award-winning novelist decided to end his day with a fatal dose of barbiturates and his usual rum-and-Coke. Kosiński then placed a plastic bag over his head and taped it shut around his neck, a method of suicide suggested by the Hemlock Society.

His suicide note read: I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call it Eternity.



And so it goes

Are you a Mod or a Rocker?

May 2, 1936 -
Walt Disney released another animated-cartoon, Mickey's Revue, on this date.



Goofy (then known as Dippy Dawg) makes his debut in this cartoon.


May 2, 1936 -
Sergei Prokofiev was commissioned by The Central Children's Theatre of Moscow to create a symphonic tale for children. Peter and Wolf had its world premiere in Moscow on this date.



Prokofiev felt, in his own words, the work had an inauspicious opening at best: "...[attendance] was poor and failed to attract much attention."

If you listen very carefully you'd hear the duck quacking inside the wolf's belly, because the wolf in his hurry had swallowed her alive.


May 2, 1946 -
James M. Cain's excellent crime thriller, The Postman Always Rings Twice, opened on this date.



Notice the fact that although Lana Turner's character is inherently evil, she's wearing white throughout the film.




May 2, 1979 -
The film Quadrophenia, based on The Who's album and featuring Sting, premiered in London on this date



The Who appear not just on the edition of Ready, Steady, Go! that Jimmy watches and an album sleeve at the house party, but also a portrait of Pete Townshend is on the boy's bedroom wall.


Today in History:
On May 2, 1729, Catherine the Great was born. More than any Russian head of state before her, she embraced a closer union with Europe.



And please people, let's stop it with all this talk about the horses - she died of a stroke while sitting on the toilet.

Let's give the woman some dignity.



May 2 1863 -
At the Battle of Chancellorsville, Confederate general Thomas J. "Stonewall" Jackson is accidentally shot three times by his own men. Jackson's left arm is amputated and Jackson died of complications of pneumonia on May 10, 1863. In his delirium, his dying words were, "Let us cross over the river and rest in the shade of the trees." His body was moved to the Governor's Mansion in Richmond for the public to mourn, and he was then moved to be buried in the Stonewall Jackson Memorial Cemetery, Lexington, Virginia. However, the arm that was amputated on May 2 was buried separately by Jackson's chaplain, at the J. Horace Lacy house, "Ellwood", in the Wilderness of Spotsylvania County, near the field hospital.



Upon hearing of Jackson's death, Robert E. Lee mourned the loss of both a friend and a trusted commander. The night Lee learned of Jackson's death, he told his cook, "William, I have lost my right arm" (deliberately in contrast to Jackson's left arm) and "I'm bleeding at the heart."


Baron Manfred von Richtofen was also born on May 2, but in 1892. The World War I flying ace, better known to students of military history as the Red Baron, shot down over 80 enemy aircraft in World War I, sending dozens of handsome young men to fiery, terrible deaths and thereby earning himself a place in the Peanuts comic strip.



(Which hardly excuses Snoopy's reprehensible bloodlust. But then again, we all know that Snoopy was a sociopath with a multiple personality disorder.)


May 2 1946 -
Six prisoners attempt to escape the federal prison on Alcatraz island. They take over their cellblock but fail to gain access to the outside. One guard held hostage is executed by prisoners, and another dies in the attempt to retake the cellblock.

The Battle of Alcatraz ends only after the deaths of three prisoners, and two others are subsequently executed at San Quentin.

I bet there was a lot of after-riot prison sex that night.


May 2 1957 -
Senator Joseph McCarthy dies of hepatitis, brought about by unabated alcoholism. Two and a half years prior he had been censured by the Senate for his "inexcusable" and "reprehensible" conduct during his highly-publicized Communist witch-hunt.



McCarthy eventually discovered that it was far more effective to have private industry oppress its workforce, rather than the government oppress its citizenry.


May 2 1957 -
Mob figure Frank Costello was shot in the head by Vincent "the Chin" Gigante on this date. Instead of killing him, the bullet circumnavigates between his skin and cranium, exiting through the original wound.



Costello retires from the Mafia soon thereafter.

The Mafia was practicing using 'magic' bullets.


May 2, 1972 -
World famous paranoid old drag queen and longtime G-man dies in his sleep at the age of 77 on this date.



Most of Washington insiders breathe a huge sigh of relief.


It's my friend Sharon's birthday today. And there is no truth to the rumor that she held the cab door open for Mr. Costello moments before his unfortunate encounter with The Chin.



And so it goes

Today is May

The month of May is named after Maia, a Greek goddess and mother of Hermes. The Saxons called the month of May "Tri-Milchi" because cows can get milked three time a day during May. (Betcha didn't know that.) Apparently, May is also a very bad month to get married... due to Mary Queen of Scots' unfortunate history, and the fact that she got married in May.



Spring is in full bloom. Tender blossoms exude their sweet fragrance as winter's bitter frosts recede. The warming air and diaphanous mists incite the passions and thoughts turn naturally to the ardor of spring—to love, rebirth, renewal, and salad.



(Except bubbe's thoughts, which turn increasingly to Kardashian naughty bits.)

You may not have known it, but in the United States May is National Salad Month. By an astonishing coincidence, the second full week of May is National Herb Week. It's a time to celebrate the verdure of the earth with verdure on a plate. Or in a bowl—salad is just that versatile!

Carnivorous readers disinclined to celebrate National Salad Month can choose from any of the following celebrations, all of which last the entire month of May:


Asian Pacific American Heritage Month
Correct Posture Month
Digestive Diseases Awareness Month
Hepatitis Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
More Than Just a Pretty Face Month



Today in History:

May 1 is recognized as May Day pretty much everywhere but the United States, Canada, and South Africa. Modern May Day celebrations throughout the world typically feature huge outdoor gatherings of people, brightly colored signs and banners, and a whole lot of tear gas.



The holiday has its root in the American labor movement of the 1880s, specifically the Haymarket tragedy of 1886. Depending on whom you ask, the Haymarket tragedy was either caused by overzealous cops with way too many guns, or overzealous anarchists with way too many bombs (i.e., one).

Actually, it no longer matters whom you ask, because all eyewitnesses would give you pretty much the same answer (i.e., none—they're dead).



Either way, nervous, well-armed cops and edgy, bomb-throwing anarchists are not a combination one encounters often in the annals of the Nobel Peace Prize. As a result, Americans ignore May Day and instead celebrate Labor Day, which features plenty of beer and barbecues and very little tear gas.

We may be complacent, but dammit, we know what to do with a steak.


May 1, 1915 -
A thoughtful German government took out advertisements warning anyone on ships flying British flags that they did so at their own risk.

That very day, the ocean liner Lusitania left New York, flying a British flag.

You do the math.


May 1, 1931 -



The Empire State Building in New York City was dedicated by President Hoover from the White House in Washington DC where he pressed a button that switched on the lights. The 102 story skyscraper, at the corner of Fifth Avenue and 34th Street in New York City, was the first higher than 1,250 feet.

Excavation had begun in January 1930, construction commenced in two months later, and its cornerstone was laid in September 1930. The steel framework rose at a rate of 4-1/2 stories per week. The building's construction was completed in a phenomenal one year and 45 days.



It reigned as the world's tallest skyscraper until 1954, but it still remains an icon for all things New York .


May 1, 1941 -



Orson Welles’ innovative film, Citizen Kane, a film about a man's unnatural love for his sled, opened in New York City on this date.



Film making was never the same.


May 1, 1957 -
The first film Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn made in color, Desk Set, premiered on this date.



The Company's ENIAC machine that EMARAC was based on had the slogan "Making Machines Do More, So That Man Can Do Less". The acronym for "electronic brain" EMARAC is the Electromagnetic Memory and Research Arithmetical Calculator.


May 1, 1961 -
Cuban leader Fidel Castro decided things were going along so well in Cuba,



that on this date, he absolved the Cuban people of ever having to go through all the bother of another election.



And so it goes