Read the ramblings of Dr. Caligari. Hopefully you will find that Time does wound all heels.
You no longer need to be sad that nowadays there is so little useless information.
Today is Boxing Day (St. Stephen's Day) and citizens of the British Commonwealth celebrate by putting on trunks and gloves to beat each other bloody silly.
Another reason to appreciate the American Revolution - a peaceful December 26th.
If you are starting your Christmas shopping for next year, you're either way ahead of the curve or cheap.
Tonight's the first night of Kwanzaa.
Tonight celebrates Umoja (Unity) To strive for and to maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race.
Here's an abbreviated Today in History - I have to run out and finish my pre-Christmas shopping (That's my story and I'm sticking with it.)
December 26, 1776 - American forces under Gen. George Washington, having crossed the Delaware River on Christmas night, defeated Hessian mercenary troops fighting for the British at the Battle of Trenton, N.J.
Apparently, Washington was trying to beat the toll.
On this day in 1913, the author of the short story, An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge and his satirical dictionary, The Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce disappeared into Mexico while traveling with the army of rebel Pancho Villa. In one of his final letters, the 71-year-old Bierce wrote to his niece, Lora,
Good-bye — if you hear of my being stood up against a Mexican stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease, or falling down the cellar stairs. To be a Gringo in Mexico—ah, that is euthanasia!
December 26, 1919 - Red Sox owner and Broadway Producer, Harry Frazee believes he has solved one of his many headaches when he sells, an overweight, drunk, whoremongering baseball player to the New York Yankees.
Oops.
December 26, 1967 - The Beatles give their fans a Christmas present - Magical Mystery Tour was shown on the BBC on this date.
The film was broadcast in black and white, although the film was shot in color. The British public's reaction to the film was scathing.
December 26, 1973 - Here was a great way to celebrate the holidays, The Exorcist, premiered in the US on this date.
The original teaser trailer, which consisted of nothing but images of the white-faced demon quickly flashing in and out of darkness, was banned in many theaters, as it was deemed "too frightening".
If you haven't finished all of that last minute shopping, you're too late
History of Christmas
Christmas is one of the most widely celebrated holidays in the world, although the form of its observation varies widely from nation to nation. In America, our cultural kleptomania has allowed us to assimilate the most enjoyable of those traditions while discarding any stupid superstitions associated with them.
But it's worth reviewing those superstitions along with our traditions, if only to amuse ourselves yet again at the expense of our ancestors.
The winter solstice had long been celebrated by ignorant barbarians throughout the northern hemisphere as the time of the year when the sun stopped getting smaller and smaller and finally started getting bigger and bigger. The sun was important to these poor primitive bastards, in much the same way that we poor modern bastards find it so important. It was, after all, the sun.
To avoid having to go out much during the darkest and coldest days of the year, the poor shivering Nordic bastards of Scandinavia would bundle up and sally forth into the woods to bring home great big logs which would often burn for as long as twelve days. As long as the log burned they would stay in and eat and drink and fornicate. They believed that every spark their log set off foretold the birth of a calf or pig in the new year, which only underscores the irony of the Nobel prize being awarded in Sweden.
They believed the sun was a big wheel (hwoel) that rolled away from the earth until the winter solstice, at which point it began rolling back toward us. This quaint ignorance charmed the weak and flabby peoples over whom the Vikings later swept like an apocalyptic affliction. However, these peoples could not pronounce hwoel and therefore called it "yule." This irritated the Vikings and eventually forced their retreat.
While the Norse were hauling those logs into their houses, others throughout Europe were enjoying some of the finest dining of the year. Since it was too expensive to feed and shelter animals through the cold weather, those in northern climes killed their livestock at the onset of each winter. This provided their only steady supply of fresh meat all year, and went nicely with the wines and ales which had finally become fermented. The inevitable gastrointestinal distress that followed these binges is probably responsible for the primitive Germans' fear that the god Odin was flying around the sky above them during the solstice, deciding who was naughty and who was nice. It was not entirely academic: Odin's invariable sentence for the naughty was death.
Primitive bastards everywhere also liked to bring sprigs and boughs of evergreens into their homes around the time of the solstice to remind themselves that sooner or later all that awful cold and snow would end and it would get warm enough to eat, drink, and fornicate outdoors. The Druids of the British Isles brought evergreen boughs into their temples every winter as a sign of everlasting life, and the Vikings thought that evergreens were the particular plant of their own sun-god, Balder (so-named because they mistook the sun for his shiny, hairless cranium). Even the Egyptians worshiped their sun-god Ra's "recovery" by bringing palm rushes into their homes. It's not clear how this was intended to help poor Ra, but he always pulled through.
In ancient Rome, the festival of Saturnalia began the week before the solstice and lasted a full month. Romans ate and drank and fornicated during this festival in honor of Saturn, the god of Agriculture. They filled their homes with evergreen boughs to remind themselves that everything would be green again eventually. They also let slaves become masters for the duration of the festival, and the plebeians were put in charge of the city. It was a crazy, topsy-turvy time, with all sorts of nutty mix-ups. Overlapping with Saturnalia around the time of the solstice was Juvenalia, a feast to honor the children of the city.
The winter solstice fell on December 25 in the year 274, and the pagan Roman Emperor Aurelian declared that day a holiday: the festival of the Birth of the Invincible Sun. The Invincible Sun was also known as Mithra. Mithra was an infant god who had been born from a rock (presumably virgin rock). The Roman upper classes, with their special fondness for rocks, honored this holiday as one of the most sacred in the year.
Meanwhile, the noisy little sect of Christianity had started to gather some steam.
St. Nicholas was born around this time in what is today Turkey, but was then just another primitive desert backwater full of bickering barbarians. One popular story about St. Nicholas was that he had saved three sisters from being sold into slavery or prostitution, or both, by sneaking money for dowries into their shoes and socks. He died on December 6, and this was subsequently celebrated as his feast day. It came to be considered a lucky day on which to buy things or get married. He was honored as a protector of children and sailors. By the Renaissance he had topped all the European charts to become the most popular saint ever, probably on account of widespread sailors and children.
In the fourth century, church leaders decided to begin celebrating the birth of Jesus, since it seemed morbid just celebrating his death. No one is really sure when Jesus was born, although most scholars are pretty sure it wasn't late December and most astrologists are quick to point out that Jesus doesn't seem like a Capricorn.
Pope Julius I chose to declare December 25 as Jesus' birthday, since people were already used to celebrating at that time of year. The holiday was called the Feast of the Nativity, and by the end of the eighth century it had spread across all of Europe, even to those remote and primitive corners where people still thought the sun was a big yellow wheel.
By the middle ages Christianity had penetrated almost all of Europe, but Christmas was still a blend of ignorant barbarian superstitions and unbearable religious seriousness. Christians would attend a Christmas mass on December 25, then eat, drink, and fornicate like they did in the old days. They would crown some wretched beggar the "lord of misrule," and the drunken revelers would happily and laughingly obey his every command. The poor would show up at the doors of the rich and demand food and drink, and if they were denied they would often laughingly burn down the house, beat its inhabitants, and attack the womenfolk before moving on to the next house. It was a very jolly holiday.
Devout Christians of sixteenth century Germany began trying to outdo the rest of Europe with their usual humorless Teutonic ambition. Instead of hanging a few little evergreen boughs about the hearth at Christmastime, they began hauling whole trees into their homes. According to legend, Martin Luther himself was walking home from a sermon one night when he was struck by the beauty of the glittering stars among the pines. When he got home he promptly decorated his own tree with candles. Despite the obvious fire hazard, this quickly became a popular tradition.
After the Reformation, puritans decided there was too much eating, drinking, and fornication associated with Christmas and that it was therefore bad. Many rulers outlawed it altogether. This was not usually popular: in England, for example, Oliver Cromwell cancelled Christmas, resulting in the restoration of Charles II and the retaliatory cancellation of Mr. Cromwell's head.
All of this was bad for Christmas, but such was St. Nicholas's popularity that it did little to deter from his reputation. He remained on top of the charts. Nowhere was he more popular than in Holland, where he was venerated as Sint Nikolaas, or more familiarly as Sinter Klaas.
The puritan bastards who settled America avoided Christmas as part and parcel of their longstanding commitment to No Fun. Massachusetts Colony actually penalized anyone caught celebrating Christmas with a five-shilling fine. Since it was considered an English holiday, it was ostentatiously ignored in the years during and after the Revolution, and wasn't made a federal holiday until after the Civil War (on June 26, 1870.)
Washington Irving had done his part in sorting through barbarian superstitions for things that were wholesome, pleasant, and commercial enough to be made officially American, and in 1809 he referred to St. Nicholas as the Patron Saint of New York. In 1822 an Episcopalian minister named Clement Clarke Moore wrote a frivolous poem for his daughters entitled "A Visit from St. Nicholas." Mr. Moore cleverly ignored all elements of the good saint's biography involving slavery, prostitution, dowries, and sailors. He focused instead on sleighs, reindeer, and presents for good little American boys and girls. It was so silly and frivolous that it became one of the most popular American poems ever—second only to the one about the guy from Nantucket.
By 1820, American stores had begun to advertise Christmas shopping, and by 1870 children were flocking to Macy's to see Santa Claus. And so it was that America began applying its curious collective genius for assimilation to the vast storehouse of silly and primitive traditions from throughout the world.
Thus we need not concern ourselves with St. Lucia, the patron saint of the blind, whom Scandinavians honor each December 23 (Little Yule) with elaborate pagan rituals involving candles, torches, and bonfires.
We need not worry about the witch Babouschka, who visits Russian children with gifts each Christmas to compensate for a nasty little joke she once played on the wise men,
or the Italian witch La Befana.
We need not trouble ourselves with the construction of piñatas each holiday season, as Mexican parents must.
We don't have to sit around our tables as they do in Ukraine, waiting for the evening star to appear before we begin our meal. We need not fear the kallikantzeri of Greece, nasty little goblins that cause mischief for the twelve days of Christmas.
Let's all take a moment during these troubled times to express our gratitude and admiration for our American traditions, which are so much better than the traditions of every other country.
I wish all my friends a happy, healthy, joyous holidays.
You can watch this later when you're wrapping all those gifts
In another life I used to run the Isle of Misfit Toys (don't ask.)
Here's your Today in History - December 24, 1865 - Southern whitefolk unite together to form a service organization wherein they consort with other southern whitefolk.
Members participate in festive cruciform fire ceremonies and lively negro butcherings.
By the 1920's membership in the Ku Klux Klan reaches an astonishing 2 million.
December 24, 1954 - Rock musician Johnny Ace plays a little .45 calibre solitaire (Russian Roulette) at City Auditorium in Houston after a concert.
Blammo.
He thought it would impress his girlfriend - perhaps it did.
December 24, 1985 - Fidel Castro announces that he has given up cigars.
Santa still leaves him a lump of coal in his stocking every Christmas.
Alright, I won't leave you on Christmas Eve with all of these fun facts, so I'll leave you with these thoughts from Henry Van Dyke (and no it's not Dick and Jerry's dad) -
There is a better thing than the observance of Christmas day, and that is, keeping Christmas.
Are you willing...
To forget what you have done for other people, and to remember what other people have done for you; To ignore what the world owes you, and to think what you owe the world; To put your rights in the background, and your duties in the middle distance, and your chances to do a little more than your duty in the foreground; To see that men and women are just as real as you are, and try to look behind their faces to their hearts, hungry for joy; To own up to the fact that probably the only good reason for your existence is not what you are going to get out of life, but what you are going to give to life; To close your book of complaints against the management of the universe, and look around you for a place where you can sow a few seeds of happiness.
Are you willing to do these things even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.
Are you willing...
To stoop down and consider the needs and desires of little children; To remember the weakness and loneliness of people growing old; To stop asking how much your friends love you, and ask yourself whether you love them enough; To bear in mind the things that other people have to bear in their hearts; To try to understand what those who live in the same home with you really want, without waiting for them to tell you; To trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you; To make a grave for your ugly thoughts, and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open -
Are you willing to do these things, even for a day? Then you can keep Christmas.
Are you willing...
To believe that love is the strongest thing in the world - Stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death - Then you can keep Christmas. And if you can keep it for a day, why not always?
But you can never keep it alone.
Now get back to shlepping through the stores trying to find that last gift before I explain to you how the War of 1812 was resolved by the Treaty of Ghenet in 1814 and yet the Battle of New Orleans happened after the treaty was signed.
As not to embarrass yourself tonight at your Festivus family gathering, here are the four tenets of the holiday:
The Festivus Pole: During Festivus, an unadorned aluminum pole is displayed. The pole was chosen apparently in opposition to the commercialization of highly decorated Christmas trees, because it is "very low-maintenance," and also because the holiday's patron, Frank Costanza, "find[s] tinsel distracting."
Festivus Dinner: The Festivus dinner menu is flexible, but it should consist of filling, non-holiday comfort food (no turkey, duck, goose, or ham). The televised dinner featured what may have been meatloaf or spaghetti in a red sauce. (Presumably, an entree in a red sauce is more festive.) Kruger took a flask out from his jacket and took a swig; so one might interpret that drinking is optional.
The Airing of Grievances: At the Festivus dinner, each participant tells friends and family of all the instances where they disappointed him or her that year.
The Feats of Strength: The head of the family tests his or her strength against one participant of the head's choosing. Festivus is not considered over until the head of the family has been pinned to the ground. A participant is allowed to decline to attempt to pin the head of the family only if they have something better to do instead.
A Healthy and Happy Festivus to you and your family.
Christmas video countdown - A Christmas Gift for you from Prisoner 1873015:
Don't forget to catch Darlene Love on David Letterman tonight!!!
December 23, 1823 - The famous poem A Visit From St. Nicholas was first published on this date. It begins, Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house / Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Fourteen years after its first publication, an editor attributed the poem to a wealthy professor of classical literature named Clement Clarke Moore. In the last few years, new evidence has come out that a Revolutionary War major named Henry Livingston Jr. may have been the actual author of The Night Before Christmas. His family has letters describing his recitation of the poem before it was originally published, and literary scholars have found many similarities between his work and The Night Before Christmas. He was also three quarters Dutch, and many of the details in the poem, including names of the reindeer, have Dutch origins.
Today in History: December 23, 1888 - After an argument with fellow painter Paul Gauguin, Vincent van Gogh takes a razor and removes a portion of his left ear. Their quarrel regarded the prostitutes in Arles who seemed to prefer Gauguin over Van Gogh; the painter delivered his ear a startled prostitute. She fainted.
Some women get very emotional when they receive that special gift.
December 23, 1948 - Japanese Premier Tojo and 6 others hanged by the War Crimes Commission at Sugamo Prison, Tokyo, for the crime of starting an aggressive war.
Now, that's not a necktie you want for Christmas.
December 23, 1968 - On the first day of the first flight ever by astronauts to orbit the Moon, Apollo 8 commander Frank Borman suffers from the first documented case of motion sickness. Previous astronauts had reported nothing -- partly because their ships were too small for them to move around a lot and get queasy, partly because they kept their mouths shut for fear they'd never fly again.
There is nothing worse than barfing into your own spacesuit. Oh, wait a minute, yes there is - barfing into someone else's spacesuit.
December 23, 1985 - In a Lutheran school playground, James Vance and Raymond Belknap acted upon a drunken suicide pact forged while listening to Stained Class by Judas Priest. Belknap shot a 12 gauge shotgun under his chin, dying instantly, and Vance followed, but survived with a severely disfigured face. He later dies from painkillers on Thanksgiving three years later. Both kids' parents file suit against the band, but a judge ultimately rejects their subliminal message theory.
I believe anyone would kill themselves being forced to listen to Judas Priest.
2 more shopping days until Christmas. At this point, if you haven't started shopping, may I suggested that fresh fruit makes an attractive gift basket.
At the start of every Christmas season, environmentalists inevitably spark the real-versus-artificial tree debate. But this year, Chinese designers decided to take an entirely different approach to celebrate the holiday, crafting a huge tree from 1,000 Heineken bottles.
The massive sculpture is currently providing some festive flair to Nanjing Road in Shanghai, China.
December 22, 1937 - The center tube of the Lincoln Tunnel was opened to traffic today, charging $0.50 per passenger car.
Some of those cars are scheduled to make it through the tunnel later this week.
Christmas video countdown - Cartoon carols
Hang on, the holidays are almost over.
December 22, 1975 - A beautiful study of love and madness (and the razor's edge between them), L'histoire d'Adèle H, opened in the US on this date.
This is another one of those films I'm suggesting you go out right now and rent, if you haven't seen it.
Here's another Christmas gift - The Jack Benny Christmas Show -enjoy
Mel Blanc is a scream
Today in History: December 22, 1879 - It's Stalin's birthday (again)! Hey, when your a dictator, you get to celebrate your birthday on more than one day. Unfortunately, the proper way to celebrate - oppress, torture and murder millions of your fellow country men - is frowned upon.
So smack someone upside the head for no reason.
December 22, 1955 - The corpse of Evita Peron is stolen by anti-Peronistas. 29 years later (to the day), Madonna's "Like a Virgin" single goes #1 for 6 weeks.
Make of the coincidence what you will.
December 22, 1984 - Bernhard Goetz shoots 4 teenage boys on the NYC subway after one of them asks him for money.
Again, this practice is frowned upon, so smack someone upside the head.
December 22, 1965 - David Lean's Russian epic, Dr Zhivago, premieres in the US, on this date.
The film was not shown in Russia until 1994.
December 22, 2001 - Richard Reid attempts to blow up an American Airlines transatlantic flight by igniting a plastic explosive concealed in his shoe. Other passengers beat the living daylights out of him.
They knew, they smacked him upside the head.
2 more shopping days until Christmas (1 more shopping days until Festivus ... I suggest you begin compiling you list of grievances).
In the northern hemisphere, today is the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year and the longest night.
It's officially the first day of winter and one of the oldest known holidays in human history. Anthropologists believe that solstice celebrations go back at least 30,000 years, before humans even began farming on a large scale. The stone circles of Stonehenge were arranged to receive the first rays of midwinter sun.
It is therefore a good time to do things you wouldn't want the sun to hear about. The Pagans, for example, wisely celebrate their Yule holiday on the Winter Solstice.
Ancient peoples believed that because daylight was waning, it might go away forever, so they lit huge bonfires to tempt the sun to come back. The tradition of decorating our houses and our trees with lights at this time of year is passed down from those ancient bonfires.
In Ancient Rome, the winter solstice was celebrated with the festival of Saturnalia,
during which all business transactions and even war were suspended, and slaves were waited upon by their masters.
Hey, Get Naked, Paint Yourself Blue and Dance around the Fir Tree. It's party time!!!
Christmas Video Countdown - Mobbed Up Christmas
I like to thank Frankie Jr, Joey the Comedian, Vinnie, Little Gino and the boys from Bronxville
December 21, 9140 - Another classic Porky Pig cartoon, The Timid Toreador, premiered on this date.
"Hot?! Who's afraid of hot?
December 21, 1959 The Orpheus legend set in Rio de Janeiro, Black Orpheus, premiered in the US on this date.
Another great thing in this classic of world cinema is the fabulous music by Luiz Bonfa, and Antonio Carlos Jobim.
Here's your Today in History - The pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock on December 21, 1620. Their boat was the Mayflower.
They wore black and white clothes with big shiny buckles.
They made friends with Squanto and had Thanksgiving.
December 21, 1945 - World War II General George Patton dies in a car accident at Heidelberg, Germany.
Patton was investigating the theft of Nazi gold by US Army men.
December 21, 1970 - Paranoid, alcoholic President Nixon meets with prescription drug addict Elvis Presley at the White House to discuss The King's becoming a special drug enforcement agent.
He presents Nixon with a pistol, and receives a special DEA badge in return.
December 21, 2012 - The Mayan "long count" calendar is based on great cycles of 5125 years, the current cycle ending on this day in 2012.
Endings of cycles are punctuated by cataclysmic singularities on a deluge scale, so be prepared. This is the end of time!
Remember to mark the date in your calendar.
Josif Djugashvili was born in the Gori District of Tiflis Province in Georgia, Imperial Russia, on December 21, 1879 (or December 18th or the 22nd. When you're an evil bastard dictator, you get to choose your own birthday).
His father was a drunken and often unemployed cobbler, illiterate, and like Josif’s mother, Ekaterina, had only been emancipated from serfdom in 1864. Mr. Djugashvili was a violent man, and often beat little Josif, whose left arm was permanently injured in a childhood "accident." Josif was also afflicted by small pox at the age of five, and this left his face a crosshatching of pockmarks.
To say that the cobbler’s son had no shoes would be the grossest of understatements.
At the Gori Elementary School, little Joey Djugashvili was unexceptional in terms of grade point average, aptitude, and physical education. His self-esteem was in tatters. He was a moody, sullen boy, but even in the benighted educational environment of nineteenth century Imperial Russia, his teachers knew that beneath his brooding exterior there beat the heart of a wounded, frightened child.
"Joey only needed a little encouragement," one teacher recalled in an interview published shortly before her disappearance. "He’d never speak up in class, but if you took the time to talk to him one-on-one he’d blossom like a flower."
Another teacher recalled Djugashvili’s difficult home life. "His parents never came to our Meet the Faculty suppers," the pedagogue reflected from his cell not long before his execution. "So I visited his home on several occasions. His mother was not very affectionate, but his father was a brute and a tyrant and would only address him as ‘dumb-ass.’ You knew even then that the cards were stacked against the poor kid."
His peers taunted him mercilessly at school, and his high school class voted him "most likely to die alone and unloved." But one cannot help but be startled by the Djugashvili staring out from the photograph in his high school yearbook. The overall look is haunted, but even then there could be seen the galvanization of will, the hardening of determination, that in a few short years the world would learn to know and fear as Josif Stalin.
One can only feel pity for this troubled soul, this poor, sweet child who never wanted anything more than a little love and attention. Even as one watches the same old familiar footage of a laughing Stalin quaffing a martini while marching over a path paved with human skulls, even then if one looks closely one can see the eyes of the child he once was: frightened, sad, and alone.
Was Little Joe truly a wellspring of bloody malevolence, or was he perhaps a victim himself, a frightened and insecure little boy who wanted nothing more than a little approval and a few kind words? It’s easy to hold him responsible for the thirty to forty-five million deaths that occurred on his watch, but was it really all his fault? Can we not properly lay some, if not all, of the responsibility for the sins of the son on the deeds of the father?
I hopes that parents everywhere will give their children a little extra love and attention this holiday season, because the world needs another little Joe like I need a samovar up my ass.
3 more shopping days until Christmas, 2 more shopping days until Festivus (Make sure you get your an unadorned aluminum pole before they run out.)
But I still highly doubt it cost only $300 to produce (but hey it didn't cost half a billion.)
December 20, 1946 - The Frank Capra film It's A Wonderful Life had a preview showing for charity at New York City's Globe Theatre, a day before its official premiere.
The film is regarded as a classic and is a staple of Christmas television around the world, although, due to its high production costs and stiff competition at the box office, financially, it was considered a flop.
Next time you get a chance to watch the film, notice what a truly strange little film it really is.
Christmas Video Countdown
(Don't worry - there was no rhyme or reason to this today.)
Today in History December 20, 1802 - The United States buys the Louisiana Territory from France.
The wisdom of this purchase was not fully appreciated at first but after Mardi Gras it was warmly embraced.
(It was not for nothing that Thomas Jefferson collected beads.)
December 20, 1879 - Thoman Edison privately demonstrated light bulb to a rapt audience on this date.
Unfortunately, it takes 27 of his assistances to screw in the bulb and many believe the light will never take off.
December 20, 1892 - According to Jules Verne, On October 2nd Phileas Fogg steps out of the Explorers Club in London, England and decides to take a little trip.
Due to the incompetence and laziness of transit workers, completes his trip on this date.
Adolf Hitler was released from prison on December 20, 1924, after serving less than a year against a five-year treason sentence. Hitler became a prolific author while in prison, where he penned the infamous political autobiography "Mein Kampf." ("How I Intend to Enslave or Kill Millions of People Immediately Upon My Release").
He also outlined a series of children’s books which have sadly been lost to history as a result of his having chosen upon his release to pursue a path of demonic world conquest instead of pedagogical literature. One can only wonder what sort of success Hitler would have experienced with titles such as The Little Engine That Was Betrayed by Jewish Usurers, Where the Wild Things Are and How to Eliminate Them and Every Little Aryan Child’s Bedtime Book of Insidious Evil and Global Domination.
December 20, 1957 - Elvis receives orders from the draft board to serve in the United States Army, which to his credit he does without complaint.
Imagine what Justin Timberlake would have done.
December 20, 1997 - Sotheby's auctions off the loincloth worn by Kirk Douglas in the 1960 film Spartacus for $2,990.
You can't get those at Robery Hall, aisle five.
4 more shopping days until Christmas (2 more shopping days until Festivus). Make sure you get your an unadorned aluminum pole before they run out.
It's supposed to show like the Dickens later today.
Christmas video countdown - An Elvis Christmas
As we often suggest - place your hand upon the screen and feel St. Elvis warm your loins with the spirit of the holiday.
Today in History December 19, 1843 - Charles Dickens published A Christmas Carol, on this date. Dickens wrote the novel after his first commercial failure. His previous novel, Martin Chuzzlewit (1842) had flopped, and he was suddenly strapped for cash. Martin Chuzzlewit had been satirical and pessimistic, and Dickens thought he might be more successful if he wrote a heartwarming tale with a holiday theme.
He got the idea for the book in late October of 1843, the story of the heartless Ebenezer Scrooge, who has so little Christmas spirit that he wants his assistant Bob Cratchit to work on Christmas Day.
(Sorry about the colorized version)
Dickens struggled to finish the book in time for Christmas. He no longer had a publisher so he published the book himself, ordering illustrations, gilt-edged pages and a lavish red bound cover. He priced the book at a mere 5 shillings, in hopes of making it affordable to everyone. It was released within a week of Christmas and was a huge success, selling six thousand copies the first few days, and the demand was so great that it quickly went to second and third editions.
God bless us, everyone!!!
December 19, 1941 - Twelve days after Pearl Harbor, Franklin D. Roosevelt under authority of Congress, created the Office of Censorship. The bureau had discretion over communications with foreign countries.
Participation by domestic publishers was "voluntary".
Ah, presidential power...
December 19, 1971 - A Clockwork Orange premieres on this date, originally with an X rating. Censors objected more to the sex scenes than the violence.
Director Stanley Kubrik later earns an R by removing some of the smuttier footage.
December 19, 1997 - The movie, Titanic is released in theaters. This movie would become the most financially successful movie in U.S. history, grossing approximately $1.8 billion worldwide.
The world is also forced to endure Celine Dion singing for years to come.
Hey, I hear Jim has a new movie out this weekend - I wonder how it is?
5 more shopping days until Christmas (3 more shopping days until Festivus). Remember, stores will be packed with late Festivus shoppers.
Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire, also known as The Simpsons Christmas Special, was the first full-length episode of The Simpsons to air on December 17, 1989.
I wonder if that series ever caught on?
Hanukkah is finally over, I think.
Hey, somebody has to clean up all of that wax on the break front. And somebody's got to dump all of this oil.
Christmas video countdown -
Alright, back to your on-line shopping
Here's your Today in History - December 18, 1626 - Christina (Kristina), Queen of Sweden , later known as Maria Christina Alexandra, Minerva of the North, Protectress of the Jews at Rome and sometimes Count Dohna, was born on this date. Like most royalty and some presidents, Christina did not have to carry money, a passport or consistantly spell her name the same way.
Kristina father, King Gustav II Adolf, wanted a boy and decreed she be given the best education possible. Christina's mother, Maria Eleonora of Brandenburg, an early proponent of Jewish guilt as a tool for childhood rearing, repeatedly told Kristina about the 'horrors' of sex and childbirth. These factors may have prejudiced Kristina against the prospect of having to produce an heir to the throne and convinced her to adopt the dress and manner of a man.
True story: in the winter of 1650 the magnificent Queen Kristina of Sweden summoned Rene Descartes to Stockholm to tutor her in philosophy. With his trademark optimism ("I think warm, therefore I am not cold"), he accepted the invitation and hurried up from Paris. Not long after his arrival, he died of pneumonia.
Queen Kristina, or the Girl King as she liked to be known, (as opposed to King Ludwig of Bavaria the Boy Queen, but that's another story) chose the rather shockingly ungodly motto (probably sarcastically) that "Wisdom is the Prop of the Realm." She abdicated in 1654 converted to Catholicism and dashed around Europe on a white horse, wearing men's clothing and studying philosophy and sleeping with men and women. She is one of the only few women buried within St. Peter's Basilica.
In the 1930's she was portrayed by Greta Garbo in the film Queen Christina. Garbo basically modeled her later life on this character except for the converting thing.
New Jersey was the third state admitted to the Union, on this date in 1787. It derives its name from the isle of Jersey, just off England's shore (and also near Britain).
The official state bird of New Jersey is the Eastern Goldfinch.
The state bug is the honey bee (apis mellifera).
The state tree is the red oak (Quercus borealis maxima). The state flower is the common meadow violet (Viola sororia). The state shell is the knobbed whelk, also known as the conch shell (Busycon carica gmelin). The state fish is the brook trout (Salvelinus fontinalis), the state animal is the horse (Equus caballus),
and the state dinosaur is the (Hadrosaurus foulkii).
The eggplant is not the official vegetable of New Jersey because it's not a vegetable. It's a fruit
—a berry, actually—and New Jersey claims to produce two-thirds of all the eggplant in the world. (It's a bogus claim, and one that leaves me wondering not so much about the world eggplant situation, but the mindset of whoever thought it would enhance New Jersey's reputation if people thought it was the world's leading producer of eggplant. I mean, eggplant?)
There is no official berry of New Jersey, but if there were it would almost certainly be the eggplant, which would cause great confusion among persons accustomed to putting berries in their cereal.
New Jersey has a population of 8.48 million on 7,417 square miles of land. It's the fifth smallest state in the country. With 1,134 people per square mile, it's the densest state in the nation. The relative density of New Jersey should come as no surprise to anyone who's ever driven behind a car with Jersey plates. And I didn't have to mention anything about The Jersey Shores.
Quick pop quiz - On December 18, 1940, Adolf Hitler issued his plans for… a. The Volkswagen b. An extremely white Christmas c. The bombing of Britain d. The invasion of Russia e. The conquest of Cyprus f. Recovery of the lost Ark of the Covenant
December 18, 1966 - 'The Pink Panther' cartoon series premiered with the episode titled 'The Pink Phink'.
The Pink Panther character, created for the animated opening credits of The Pink Panther movie, was so popular that this short was produced as a starring vehicle for the character. This short marks the only time a studio has won an Oscar with its first cartoon release.
December 18, 1966 - Dr. Seuss' 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' aired for the first time on CBS on this date.
Dr. Seuss was initially uninterested in animating this or any of his books, but Chuck Jones managed to persuade him. I already posted the entire show on 12/12 but click here if you can't go back 6 days.
Continue to shop til you drop, 6 more shopping days until Christmas (4 more shopping days until Festivus). If you haven't started shopping yet - think tube socks.
Tonight celebrates Umoja (Unity) To strive for and to maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race.
Apparently, Washington was trying to beat the toll.
Good-bye — if you hear of my being stood up against a Mexican stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease, or falling down the cellar stairs. To be a Gringo in Mexico—ah, that is euthanasia!
Oops.
