Read the ramblings of Dr. Caligari. Hopefully you will find that Time does wound all heels.
You no longer need to be sad that nowadays there is so little useless information.
If you had problems understanding the Immaculate Conception, please go bother an old lady in church saying her rosaries, I'm not even going to try.
Hey remember - this is a Holy Day of Obligation (yeah, you have to go to church.)
Here's your Today in History:
August 15 1057 - Macbeth is killed in the Battle of Lumphanan in Aberdeenshire.
He had been king of Scotland for 17 years.
August 15 1935 - Will Rogers, the most famous man in America, dies near Barrow, Alaska when his sea plane plunges into a lagoon. At the time, he and one-eyed aviator Wiley Post were surveying possible flight paths between Seattle and the Soviet Union.
Remember kids, let this be a lesson to you - don't take a flight with a drunken, one eyed pilot.
August 15,1945 - Though Harry Truman, still getting over the drunken bender he was on, still not quite believing that he was President and got to drop not one but two atomic bombs, had announced the Japanese surrender the day before,
it was on this day in 1945 that the Allies officially declared V-J Day.
August 15, 1961 - Two days after sealing off free passage between East and West Berlin with barbed wire, East German authorities begin taking Robert Frost a little to literally and built a wall--the Berlin Wall--to permanently close off access to the West.
For the next 28 years, the heavily fortified Berlin Wall stood as the most tangible symbol of the Cold War--a literal "iron curtain" dividing Europe.
August 15, 1965 - The Beatles play to nearly 60,000 fans at Shea Stadium in New York City, marking the birth of stadium rock.
August 15 1969 - The Woodstock Music and Arts Fair began on this date in 1969, on Max Yasger's farm in upstate New York.
The greatest gathering of marketing and advertising professionals in American history, the festival featured the musical artists behind some of today's hottest commercial jingles.
Today is the birthday of Napoleon Bonaparte (1769),
Jimmy Webb (1946),
Rose Marie (1925),
Oscar Peterson (1925),
and for my money, one to the greatest Americans,
Julia Child, American Spy and Chef (1912).
Oh, and Liz (but it would be impolite to say which year.)
Les Paul, guitar virtuoso and inventor, passed away yesterday at the age of 95.
"Les Paul set a standard for musicianship and innovation that remains unsurpassed. He was the original guitar hero, and the kindest of souls." -Joe Satriani
August 14, 1945 - Steve Martin, actor, comedian, writer, playwright, producer and banjo player was born on this date.
The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!
It's National Creamiscle Day, once again.
T'is a pity it comes but once a year.
August 14, 410 - Barbarians at the Gate, indeed. Visigoths under King Alaric sack Rome after slave co-conspirators open the city gates for them.
Looting lasts for six days.
Now that must have been some party.
August 14, 1900 109 years ago today the western powers quelled the Boxer Rebellion in China. In the clearing stood the Boxers, fighters by their trade, and they carried the reminders of every glove that laid them down or cut them til they cried out, in their anger and their pain, they were leaving, they were leaving, but the fighter still remained.
Unless that was Simon and Garfunkel, in which case the Boxers were bitter, out-of-work Chinese boxers who didn't think the western powers should be allowed to control China's ports, despite the fact that everyone knew China was a poor backward country without any modern conveniences.
Emboldened by the belief that their magical boxing powers made them invulnerable to bullets, they demanded that westerners get out of China or die.
Westerners refused to get out. They crushed the rebellion, and boxing remains a neglected sport in China to this day.
August 14, 1945 - Over the radio, Hirohito announces his unconditional surrender to Allied forces, thus bringing an end to World War II. The Allied forces were so concerned that the emperor would kill himself before the broadcast that they had him pre-record his message.
This broadcast is the first chance the Japanese people have had to hear their god-emperor's speaking voice. Because of the Japanese anathema to surrender and the formal, somewhat archaic Japanese used by the old Imperial Court the emperor spoke, most Japanese didn't really that they had actually surrendered until about a day later.
August 14, 1951 -
"...As it must to all men, death came to Charles Foster Kane."
10 years after the fictionalized version of his life premiered, Newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst dies at home in Beverly Hills, California.
August 14, 1965 -
Salvatore Bono and Cherilyn Sarkisian La Pierre capture #1 on the American pop charts with their song "I Got You Babe," launching the careers of Sonny & Cher.
August 14, 2126 - The next scheduled perihelion for the "Doomsday Rock," also known as the Swift-Tuttle Comet. The six-mile-diameter mass is thought to be roughly the same size as the asteroid which wiped out the dinosaurs and will probably come within 15 million miles of planet Earth.
No need to worry, according to the Mayan calendar, we will have already all died back in 2012.
the more I wish there were going to be 'death panels'.
August 12, 1939 - The Bugs Bunny everyone knows takes another step forward when Hare-um Scare-um premiered on this date.
This is the third of four appearances by the rabbit character who later evolved into Bugs Bunny
August 12, 1939 - Considered one of the highlights of the Golden Age of Hollywood, The Wizard of Oz premiered on this date in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin.
Since it's release, it is possibly the most-watched film ever made.
Today in History: August 12 30 BC -
Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt, former wife to Julius Caesar and mistress of Marc Anthony, commits suicide by means of venomous snakebite to the mammary gland. (Given the Romans were keeping track of time at this point and were more interested is when the next orgy was - this date is fluid at best.)
As sweet as balm, as soft as air, as gentle ...
August 12 1676 - Wampanoag chieftain Metacom (or "Philip") is killed in a swamp near Mount Hope. Thus ends King Philip's War, the first war between Indians and European settlers.
Unfortunately, the Indians (or Native American, for the PC of you in the crowd) have been on the losing side, for the most part, ever since.
August 12, 1813 - Austria declared war against Napoleon. An outraged England rushed to France's defense by declaring war against Austria exactly 101 years later.
August 12, 1898 - The Spanish-American war ended. Spain released Cuba and gave Puerto Rico to the United States. Americans rushed to Puerto Rico in gleeful droves, only to discover that everyone spoke Spanish and there were no luaus or volcanoes.
Their disappointment was profound.
They took Hawaii later that same day.
August 12 1948 - Russian schoolteacher Oksana Kosenkina is injured when she jumps out the window of the Soviet Consulate in New York City. Soviet officials claim they had rescued her from "White Russian" kidnappers, but Kosenkina says she was trying to escape from the Soviets. The US later expels the consul general, and the Soviets close their consulate.
August 12 1953 - In Siberia, the Soviet Union successfully tests its first thermonuclear device, based on Andrei Sakharov's fission-fusion "Layer Cake" design: alternating layers of uranium and hydrogen fuel sandwiched together and wrapped around a conventional Atomic Bomb. The fission explosion compresses the hydrogen, causing a fusion reaction.
Hopefully this is no longer a state secret or boy am I in deep trouble.
August 12 1869 - In San Francisco, Emperor Norton I issues a stern edict outlawing both the Republican and Democratic political parties. Violators face a prison term of five-to-ten years. Not familiar with Norton I ? Consider, the true story of Emperor Joshua Norton.
Joshua Norton was a businessman in San Francisco in the 1800's. In the 1840's, just before the Gold Rush, he tried to corner the market on rice and failed. He went from being very wealthy to being destitute overnight and the experience completely shattered his reason. A couple of months after this event, he put on a formal admiral's uniform, complete with gold braid and epaulets and strode in to the office of the newspaper. He handed the editor a large, official looking proclamation which stated in quite formal language that, due to popular demand, he hereby declared himself Emperor Norton I of San Francisco, California, and Mexico. He bade all his subjects show him loyalty and the other courtesies due a person of such eminent stature.
From the pictures of Emperor Norton, it is immediately apparent that this guy has gone around the bend and ain't coming back. His eyes pointed in different directions, and neither one quite caught straight ahead. His uniform was formal to the point of almost gaudy and, at the same time, it was quite apparent that he and soap were not of regular acquaintance.
The editor, with a rich sense of humor, decided to publish the proclamation on the front page of the newspaper, in all seriousness. The citizens of San Francisco, being what they are, immediately decided that this sounded like a good idea and, by unanimous acclamation, accepted Norton as their Emperor. It is undoubtedly the only time in history they ever had an unanimous vote on anything.
He reigned for about forty years. During that time he ate in all of the finest restaurants and slept in the finest hotels for free -- because he was the Emperor. He had three seats permanently reserved in the front row of the San Francisco opera house -- one for him, and one each for his two dogs. Twice a year he would review the police and fire departments as they paraded by, and then he would make a grand speech to the assembled crowds. He printed his own money, which was accepted in business establishments around San Francisco as legal tender. When bicycles first came out, they got him a bicycle, too, and he looked all the more daft because of it. When one of his dogs died, 10,000 people turned out for the funeral to console their grief-stricken emperor. When the Civil War rolled around, he graciously offered his alliance and military support to Abraham Lincoln, who politely declined.
Make no mistake about it, the Emperor Norton was as good a loony as you have ever run across and I can't help feeling that a man who was that intelligent must have had some idea of just how completely nuts he really was.
Now here's the problem. During his reign as Emperor, Norton came up with three major ideas:
1) He called upon the other leaders of the world to join him in forming a League of Nations where disputes between nations could be resolved peacefully.
2) He suggested that parts of San Francisco Bay be filled in to make more room to build.
3) He proposed that a suspension-span bridge be built across the spot where the Golden Gate stands now. He even laid out a complete design that looks remarkably close to the bridge that was built sixty years after he died. He correctly predicted that only a suspension span bridge would have the strength to span such a large stretch, and the flexibility to stand up under the extreme stress which would be placed on such a structure. He did this at a time when the only suspension bridges ever built were rope bridges in remote parts of Africa.
Of course, when he proposed these ideas, the response was long and uproarious laughter -- the Emperor was up to his old tricks again. In time, all of his ideas became reality.
It's the corollary to 'if it's yellow, let it mellow.'
But most of you have already been doing this for years (you pigs.)
Hey Kids, It's the Feast of St. Clare
St Clare is the patron saint of television.
But I'm not sure if you pray to her for quality TV or to deliver you from all the bad TV out there. Perhaps, Paula Abdul should pray to her.
Here's your today in History: August 11 1772 - The summit of Papandayan volcano in West Java suddenly implodes, unleashing a catastrophic debris avalanche which blankets an area of 250 square km. Tumbling boulders flatten 40 villages and their 2,957 inhabitants.
People, this is what happens when you do not make the proper virgin sacrifices to the volcano gods. You can't throw just any old skank into a volcano.
August 11 1937 - On this day, expatriate Edith Wharton died in France, and ex-expatriate Ernest Hemingway didn't, in New York. Edith Wharton died in France, in the quiet, Old World style she liked to live and describe; also on this day, and in New World contrast, ex-expatriate Ernest Hemingway bared his hairy chest to Max Eastman's unhairy one, demanded "What do you mean accusing me of impotence?" and then wrestled Eastman to the floor.
I'm not accusing Hemingway of anything, it's just Hemingway liked to strip to the waist, grease his body and wrestle smaller, slender men to the ground - sweating and grunting, stiffening, then becoming quite still.
That's perfectly normal.
August 11 1956 - Jackson Pollock famous abstract artist and public urinator, dies in an alcohol-related, single car crash in 1956 at the age of only 44, killing one of his passengers, Edith Metzger.
The other passenger, his girlfriend Ruth Kligman, survived.
August 11 1984 - Not realizing that his weekly radio address is already on the air, President Ronald Reagan quips into his live microphone: "My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."
In honor of the crooner, why don't you slip a little pork inside you this morning.
It's the Feast of San Lorenzo
St. Lawrence was said to have been martyred on an iron outdoor stove on this date in 258 AD. During his torture Lawrence cried out "I' m already done on this side and it is time to turn me over."
He is, of course, the patron saint of comedians and chefs.
August 10, 1950 - Billy Wilder's caustic, black-hearted masterpiece, Sunset Boulevard premiered in New York on this date.
As long as the lady is paying for it, why not take the Vicuna?
August 10, 1962 - While not the worst film ever made, it is the sickest. The Brain That Wouldn't Die, premiered on this date.
I know it's shocking but the film was shot in 13 days.
Today in History: August 10, 1628 - To assist in the war with Poland, Swedish King Gustavus Adolphus builds a magnificent warship, the Vasa, with 64 bronze cannon on two tiers - at the time, it was the most expensive and richly ornamented warship in Sweden. But on its maiden voyage, the lower gunports are accidentally left open, and the ship immediately sinks to the bottom of Stockholm harbor. Twenty-five men and women drowned when the ship sank.
The ship remains submerged until it is raised in 1961 to become a tourist attraction.
If you think I'm going to make a joke about the Polish Navy here, the joke's on you.
August 10 1966 -
Last words of James French, sent to the Electric Chair by the state of Oklahoma: "How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? FRENCH FRIES." There is nothing quite like a dying man who gives good copy.
August 10 1969 - Leno and Rosemary LaBianca are brutally murdered in their Los Feliz, California home by followers of Charles Manson.
They take some of their victims' blood and smear HELTER SKELTER on the refrigerator door.
August 10, 1977 - Postal employee and avid dog listener David Berkowitz was arrested in Yonkers, N.Y., accused of being the "Son of Sam" gunman responsible for six random slayings and seven woundings. Berkowitz is serving six consecutive terms of 25 years to life in state prison.
So much for the rantings of the neighbor's dog.
August 10 1996 - Heated by the sun, power lines begin to sag in Oregon. Somehow this triggers a series of failures which cascades throughout the Western states. Four million people lose electrical service in Oregon, Washington, California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, Montana, and Texas. It is probably the worst power outage in US history.
Make sure you pay for the tour without threat of crash
Here's your Today in History: August 9 378 (Or what ever the hell the date was on the calendar they were using at the time) - Valens, the Roman Emperor of the East, led an army of 30,000 men against a horde of Visigoths outside Adrianople, on this date.
The Romans got off to a good start, but soon the Visigoth cavalry returned from its foraging mission. The Roman infantry was no match for the Visigoths on horseback and two-thirds of the Romans, incuding the Emperor, were slaughtered.
Military strategists were at last compelled to acknowledge that guys on horses were stronger than guys who weren't on horses. This was the most significant development in western warfare since the discovery of the big stick, and European warfare was permanently and irreversibly altered in favor of guys on horses. This also set the stage for the Fall of the Roman Empire and a serious movie role for actor and thug Russell Crowe.
August 9, 1492 - Rodrigo Borgia allowed the Cardinals of Rome to inspect his genitals (a practice subsequently bequeathed to Bishops). Only after he had proved to the Cardinals' satisfaction that he was, indeed, a man, was Mr Borgia permitted to be Pope Alexander VI.
As the historian Orson Welles observed in The Third Man (1949): "In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love -- they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."
Rodrigo Borgia had earned the papacy the old-fashioned way: through nepotism and bribery. Once he had it, he turned it into a family institution. His two legitimate children, Cesare and Lucrezia, were alternately married off to cement alliances, divorced or widowed to initiate hostilities, or dispatched with poison to conduct diplomacy.
When out of town on business, he left in Lucrezia in charge of the Papacy. In gratitude, she bore him a son.
(Many scholars repudiate this charge, insisting that the Pope could not possibly have fathered his own daughter's child. They assign paternity to Lucrezia's brother Cesare.)
By 1503 Alexander VI had expanded Rome's powers considerably and was therefore poisoned. Three years later Cesare died while fighting as a mercenary in Spain. Lucrezia died in 1514 from complications of pregnancy. That was more or less the end of the Borgias, and the Papacy has become less and less interesting with the passing of every year since.
August 9 1945 - Because of the dense cloud cover over Kokura, USAF Maj. Charles Sweeney diverts his B-29 Bock's Car to the designated secondary target, 95 miles to the south. There he drops "Fat Man" -- a 22 kiloton Atomic Bomb -- over the city of Nagasaki, population 270,000. The blast kills 24,000 immediately, but another 46,000 perish from radiation-related illnesses over the next four months. Interesting side note that has surfaced. The government secretly paid New York Times Science Reporter William Laurence to cover the story from the gov't side.
Laurence referred to the bomb as, "A thing of beauty to behold, this 'gadget'." Laurence was the only journalist that the US gov't permitted to witness the bombing of Nagasaki. He is also credited with coming up with the term "Atomic Age".
Soon after the bombing in Japan, new began to leak out concerning a strange sickness, "Disease X" that was killing the Japanese civilians after the bomb dropped. To counter the growing horror over these accounts, the gov't invited a group of reporters to visit the government's atomic test site in New Mexico.
On Sept. 9th, Laurence dutifully reported from New Mexico that the U.S. government 'gave the most effective answer today to Japanese propaganda that radiations were responsible for deaths even after the day of explosion..."
Laurence went on to receive the Pulitzer Prize in 1946 for his reports on the bombing. A formal request has gone to the the Pulitzer committee to strip William L. Laurence and the New York Times of their prize.
August 9 1960 - Harvard professor Timothy Leary consumes seven Psilocybe caerulescens mushrooms in Cuernavaca, Mexico. Five hours later, the self-described atheist experiences a "fullblown conversion experience" next to a swimming pool.
It is Leary's first drug trip.
August 9 1969 -
Charles Manson and his band of "children" committed the first in a series of grisly murders high in the Hollywood Hills today. The unfortunate victims, including Sharon Tate were probably not the intended target of this crime.
Rumors have it that Charlie was looking for record producer Terry Melchar (Doris Day's son) who turned him down for a record contract. Melchar was away and rented the house to Tate at the time.
August 9 1974 - After President Richard M. Nixon resigns from office, his successor, Gerald Ford, assures the American people that their "long national nightmare is over."
As they did not drive a wooden stake through his heart, Nixon did not die and was left to roam the earth for several more decades.
August 9 1995 - Jerry Garcia dies of a heart attack at Serenity Knolls near Novato, California.
He had checked himself into the drug rehab center a few days prior, in hopes of kicking his longstanding heroin habit.
we might just get another nice weekend this summer.
Today in History: August 8 1925 - 40,000 robed Klansmen march down Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, D.C. -- a bit less than 1% of total Klan membership (and the Klan membership included about 15% of the nation's eligible voting population.)
Very scary, boys and girls, very scary. Remember, don't confuse the Birthers movement with the Klan (the Klan, at least, springs for uniforms.)
August 8 1945 - Wanting to help their allies, USSR declares war against Japan in WW II after confirming the situation in Hiroshima.
A large nuclear explosion is a great way to clear one's mind.
August 8 1960 - Brian Hyland's song "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini" reaches number one on the pop charts.
August 8 1963 - The Kingsmen release the song, Louie, Louie.
Inexplicably radio stations around the county label it obscene, even though no foul or suggestive language can be found in the song.
Here are (purportedly) the lyrics -
Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go. Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go.
A fine girl, who waited for me. I catch a ship across the sea. I sailed the ship all alone. I wondered when I'm gonna make it home.
Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go. Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go.
Three nights and days I sailed the sea. I think of the girl constantly. On the ship, I dream she there. I smell the rose that's in her hair.
Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go. Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go.
I see Jamaican moon above. See the girl I'm thinking of. I take her in my arms and then Say I'll never leave again.
Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go. Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi Louie Louie, oh baby, I gotta go.
Oh, I gotta go now. Uh-huh I gotta go.
August 8 1963 - By tampering with railway signals, a 15 man team halts the Glasgow-to-Euston Royal Mail train in Buckinghamshire. The criminals make off with 120 sacks containing £2.6 million in cash. The incident goes down in history as "The Great Train Robbery."
For some bizarre reason, Phil Collins stars in a movie based on one of the men involved in the robbery.
August 8 1973 - VP Spiro T Agnew branded as "damned lies" reports he took kickbacks from govt contracts in Maryland.
He vowed not to resign (Right!)
August 8 1974 - Richard M. Nixon resigned the office of the presidency on this date, the first American president in history to do so (actually Millard Fillmore had resigned from office several times but as no one in the country took any notice of him, he had no one to turn his resignation in to, so he remained in office). His policies as president had been rather liberal. He began arms control agreements with the Soviet Union. He eased relations with China. He established the Environmental Protection Agency, expanded Social Security and state welfare programs and tried to create a national health insurance system. He was also a chronic alcoholic, suffered from a raging persecution complex and had overly active sweat glands
He won re-election in 1972 in a landslide, but in that same year a group of men broke into the Democratic Party headquarters at the Watergate Hotel, and in that break-in were the seeds of his downfall.
August 8, 1988 - Believe it or not, NYC hits a record high of 88 on 8/8/88.
Film director John Hughes has died at age 59 of a heart attack while taking a morning walk during a trip to New York City to visit family.
In the last ten years, John had not been as involved in film work, opting to enjoy time with his family and supporting independent arts while living on a farm in northern Illinois. John is survived by his wife, Nancy of 39 years, two sons and four grandchildren.
August 7, 1948 - An early example of Daffy Duck's greed nature, You Were Never Duckier premiered on this date.
Well, I gotta go. I think my judge is burning, fudge... My fudge is burning, judge... I mean, my mother wants me. I got to crochet a cake. Uh, uh, goodbye!
August 7, 1953 - The last of the Golden Age of Hollywood Musicals, The Band Wagon, premiered on this date.
If you haven't seen it, run out an rent it.
Today in History: August 7, 1876 The German spy Mata Hari, a Dutchwoman named Margaretha Geertruida Zelle, was born on this day in 1876. She was executed by the French on October 14, 1917.
There was not much actual evidence of espionage, but she had been seen naked with German officers and the French found this distasteful enough to kill her.
August 7, 1882 - Ellison Hatfield is stabbed 26 times and shot in the back by Tolbert McCoy and two of his brothers. Two days later, the Hatfield clan captures the three McCoys and executes them by firing squad.
Thus begins generations of bloodshed between the families, ultimately causing about 100 casualties.
Louis Leakey was also born on this day, in 1903. Mr Leakey was a prominent British archeologist who discovered that either mankind was much older than had previously been supposed or that mankind had not actually been mankind but some other kind instead.
The archeological world was convulsed for decades by arguments over what to name this strange new species and the struggle drove Mr Leakey to become a spy for the British government and cheat on his wife (though seldom simultaneously).
August 7, 1953 - Eisenhower signs legislation retroactively granting Ohio official statehood for the previous 150 years. In 1803, apparently everyone just assumed that Ohio was a state, even though Congress had never passed legislation to that effect. The nation remained blissfully unaware of this fact until nosy historians began snooping around in preparation for Ohio's sesquicentennial.
Yes I know, if Eisenhower had minded his own damn business, the 2004 election might have been different.
August 7, 1960 - Film and television actor David Duchovny (another member of the Milton Berle club) is born in New York City. Two of his most popular TV roles include Special Agent Fox Mulder from The X-Files, and transvestite DEA agent Dennis Bryson in three episodes of Twin Peaks (second season, though).
Remember, the truth is out there. But then again, What is truth, what is beauty and remember hemlock is poison.
August 7, 1974 Philippe Petit the French high wire artist walked between the Twin Towers in New York City on this date.
Everyone is so concerned about the possible next out break of H1N1 (Swine) flu, I have chosen to instead remind my readers about another public health crisis with the following public service:
West Nile virus can cause encephalitis, which causes swelling of the brain, which can in turn cause enlargement of the head. Contrary to the examples of encephalitis you see in the newspaper every day—such as Charlie Brown and Calvin—encephalitis is a deadly condition whose victims would be less likely to play with frisky beagles or stuffed tigers than to vomit blood and die.
West Nile virus is easy to avoid: like most viruses, it's very small, very slow, and not especially bright. Unfortunately, it's often carried by mosquitoes that are bigger, faster, and fiendishly clever.
It's not always easy to discern whether or not a given mosquito is carrying West Nile virus, so the prudent move is to avoid all mosquitoes.
This may be unfair to innocent mosquitoes who mean you no harm--the so-called "moderate" mosquitoes--but political niceties must be subordinated to threats to your survival.
It's important to remember that mosquitoes are masters of disguise. With a little makeup or a fancy hat, any mosquito can take on the appearance of several other species. They cannot, however, conceal their stingers.
Avoid all insects with stingers. If you encounter one that claims its stinger is merely a golf-club wedged into its rectum, do not believe it: insects don't golf.
Do not open your doors or windows to strangers before ascertaining whether or not they're mosquitoes. If they acknowledge being mosquitoes but deny carrying the West Nile virus, do not trust them. Some mosquitoes may even offer to show you a doctor's certificate, but such evidence is meaningless: they may have picked up West Nile virus in the time elapsed since their doctor tested them.
Be wary of delivery men, plumbers, electricians, and cable guys with stingers trailing from their jumpsuits.
Do not accept rides from unfamiliar mosquitoes.
Here's your Today in History: August 6 is noted historically as the official end of the Holy Roman Empire, which collapsed on that date in 1806. As always, please note, the Holy Roman Empire was not holy, roman or an empire (per se).
Discuss amongst yourselves.
August 6, 1890 – At Auburn Prison in New York murderer William Kemmler becomes the first person to be executed by electric chair.
The first shock of electricity did not kill Kemmler, and a second shock was required. Kemmler's body smoked. His flesh and hair were singed.
It was not a pretty sight.
August 6, 1926 - Gertrude Ederle becomes first woman to swim English Channel .
Only five men had been able to swim the English Channel before Ederle. The best time had been 16 hours, 33 minutes by an Italian-born Argentine, Enrique Tiraboschi. Ederle walked up the beach at Dover, England after 14 hours and 39 minutes. The first person to greet her was a British immigration officer who requested a passport from "the bleary-eyed, waterlogged teenager."
August 6, 1926 - Warner Brothers premiered its Vitaphone system in New York. (The film was the first feature-length film with synchronized Vitaphone sound effects and musical soundtrack, though it has no spoken dialogue.)
The movie was "Don Juan," starring John Barrymore.
August 6, 1938 - An early pairing of this comedy duo, Porky & Daffy was released on this date.
Sometimes Bubba can remind folks that he actually can be a good diplomat
rather than a hound dog.
August 5, 1884 – The cornerstone for the Statue of Liberty is laid on Bedloe's Island in New York Harbor.
Children and horses were kept indoors on that day for fear of offending their delicate nature.
August 5, 1956 - Maureen McCormick, actress, recording star and ex-junkie was born on this date.
After reading her autobiography, think of all the childhood fantasies (none of mine) that could have been fulfilled, had it been known the McCormick used to trade sex for cocaine.
August 5, 1957 – American Bandstand, a local Philadelphia show dedicated to the teenage "baby-boomers" by playing the songs and showing popular dances of the time, hosted by Dick Clark, debuts nationally on the ABC television network.
Today in History: Norma J. Mortenson was born on June 1, 1926, in Los Angeles. Her mother was insane, her father unknown. After her mother's institutionalization, Norma lived in foster homes and orphanages until 1937, when she was taken in by one of her crazy mother's friends. Five years later that woman's husband was transferred to the east coast (there was a war on), and the couple couldn't afford to bring the girl with them. To avoid returning to the orphanage, the now 18-year-old Norma married a boy named Jimmy Dougherty. He joined the Merchant Marines and was shipped out to the Pacific in 1944.
While he was away Norma got a job on the assembly line of a Burbank munitions factory. One day a photographer from "Yank" magazine came to the factory to take pictures for a piece on beautiful young factory workers with insane mothers. When the magazine was published, Norma's pictures were extremely well received. This quickly led to a successful career of letting people take pictures of her.
Returning from the war in 1946, Jimmy asked Norma what the hell kind of woman served meatloaf without mashed potatoes. She divorced him and signed a contract with Twentieth Century Fox.
She earned $125 per week, which was not bad for the divorced, factory-working daughter of a madwoman. It wasn't quite enough for Norma, however, so she dyed her hair blonde and changed her name to Marilyn Monroe.
Marilyn Monroe didn't do much better than Norma Jeane Baker until 1950, when she was given the role of Claudia Caswell in All About Eve. This led to bigger and bigger film roles and enabled her to begin dating baseball legend Joe DiMaggio in 1952. Upon the release of Niagara in 1953 she became an actual star, enabling her to marry him in 1954.
They divorced nine months later, in part because Marilyn was always lifting her weary eyes and asking Joe where he'd gone.
From this point forward she appeared only in famous movies. Two years later she married playwright Arthur Miller. She divorced him in 1961 and spent the rest of her short life Artlessly.
47 years ago today she died of natural causes, aggravated by sleeping pills, in her Brentwood home.
Do you think if Beyonce sang to the President today for his birthday, Lou Dobbs would stroke out and this would just about end the 'Birthers' movement?
It's still a little strange for me to be older than the President.
August 4, 1901 - Louis Armstrong alway stated that his birthday was on the Fourth of July, a date that has been noted in many biographies.
During the 1980's, it determined that Louis Armstrong's birthday is August 4, 1901. Discovered in the Sacred Heart of Jesus Church in New Orleans, a baptismal certificate was found that showed his actually birth date is August 4th, 1901.
Happy Saint Sithney Day. St. Sithney is the patron saint of mad dogs.
A Breton folk story, states that God asked Sithney to be the patron saint of girls seeking husbands, but Sithney said he would rather be the patron saint of mad dogs and get some rest.
Make of this what you wish.
Today in History: August 4 1693 - Oh, great day in the morning (this day should be a great religious and national holiday), Blind Benedictine Dom Perignon invents champagne.
He has been quoted as saying, ""Come quickly, brothers, I'm drinking stars!" upon tasting his accidental brew
August 4 1792 -
Percy Bysshe Shelley was born on this date. He died in a tragic boating accident before the age of 30, but he gave us many masterpieces, including "The Cloud," "To a Skylark," and "Prometheus Unbound."
The fish eaten bodies were washed ashore at Viareggio, where, in the presence of his friend Lord Byron, he was burned on the beach - his heart was given to his wife, Mary Shelley, who carried it with her in a silken shroud everywhere she went for the rest of her life.
All I can say is that I'm glad it was just his heart.
August 4 1892 - Someone took an axe and kills Lizzie Borden's millionaire parents. Andrew receives 10 whacks, and Abby 14.
Lizzie is later tried for the murders, but acquitted.
August 4 1954 - Magnificent Obsession, the first in a string of Technicolor feasts directed by Douglas Sirk, was released on this date.
Forget the silly plot, this film was Rock Hudson's breakthrough film and Sirk began to realize his masterful visual language skills
August 4 1964 - Vietcong torpedo boats launch an unprovoked attack against the U.S.S. Maddox, while the destroyer is patrolling the Gulf of Tonkin. Except that it's only a hoax.
Regardless, the Congress responds by passing the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution, authorizing President Johnson "to take all necessary measures to repel any armed attack against the forces of the United States and to prevent further aggression."
August 3, 1926 - Anthony Dominick Benedetto, last of the great saloon singers was born on this date.
Mr. Bennett said that he has no intention of retiring, saying "If you study the masters – Picasso, Jack Benny, Fred Astaire – right up to the day they died, they were performing. If you are creative, you get busier as you get older."
August 3, 1941 - Martha Stewart, business magnate, television host, author, magazine publisher and ex-con was on this date.
Remember folks, she can do it all - create a beautiful floral arrangement or make a jail house shiv from a plastic spoon.
Today in History: August 3, 1492 -
Christopher Columbus famously set out to cross the ocean blue in a fleet of three ships: the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula.
August 3, 1943 - Gen Patton slaps a US GI in the hospital accusing him of cowardice.
The incident nearly ended Patton's career. But it seemed to help Coppola's
August 3 1963 - Almost a year after the world barely averted World War III during the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Hotline between the Pentagon and the Kremlin goes live.
The system consists of two teletype machines, with a full-time communications link routed through London, Copenhagen, Stockholm, and Helsinki.
August 3 1966 - Comedian and social critic Lenny Bruce dies of a morphine overdose in his Hollywood Hills home, two years after his original obituary was published in The Realist.
At the time of his death, Bruce was being maliciously harassed by police and districts attorney in various states for his groundbreaking standup performances, causing great difficulty in finding venues at which to perform.
August 3 1996 - An angry God makes "Macarena" by Los Del Rio #1 on the pop charts.
The accompanying dancing disease afflicts millions before final eradication.
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