The King of Pop is dead.

Michael Jackson, former child star and international music icon died yesterday from an apparent heart attack. This momentus event will be remembered much like the day Elvis or John Lennon (or Kurt Cobain) died.

Michael Jackson - New Music - More Music Videos

Michael Jackson - New Music - More Music Videos

Michael Jackson - New Music - More Music Videos

Unfortunately within the next few days, once the dust has settled, the shitstorm of controversies and scandals will breath taking.

Only the dead sleep well.


Also the sad deathwatch is over for the lovely 70's icon Farrah Fawcet.




Here's your Today in History:
June 26, 1284 -
The town of Hamelin had a large rat infestation. A weirdly dressed minstel promised to help them get rid of their rats. The townsmen in turn promised to pay him for the removal of the rats. The man accepted, and thus played a musical pipe to lure the rats with a song into the Weser River, where all of them drowned. Despite his success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher. Pied Piper extracting his revenge, lures 130 children of Hamelin away on this date.



People, let this be a lesson to us all - please pay your exterminator bill promptly


Richard III made himself King of England on June 26, 1483 by killing everyone else who wanted to be king.



It seemed a clever stratagem at the time, especially for a hunchback, but his reign came to a bloody end just two months later as a result of his making a fiscally irresponsible bid on a horse.




Francisco Pizarro conquered the entire Peruvian Empire of the Incas with a handful of soldiers only to have those soldiers turn on and kill him on June 26, 1541. He was stabbed in the throat, then fell to the floor where he was stabbed repeatedly. Pizarro (who now was maybe as old as 70 years, and at least 62), collapsed on the floor, alone, painted a cross in his own blood and cried for Jesus Christ. He cried: Come to me my faithfull sword, companion of all my deeds.



This was the Dawn of the Ironic Age in the New World.


Abner Doubleday was born on this date in 1819. A forgotten footnote in his life is the fact that he aimed the cannon that fired the first return shot in answer to the Confederate bombardment of Fort Sumter on April 12, 1861, starting the Civil War.



Mr. Doubleday is credited with the invention of baseball, without which Americans would have nothing to watch between waits in line for more beer.


June 26, 1870 -
Congress declared Christmas a federal holiday to the great relief of Americans who'd been forced to flee to Canada every December.




June 26, 1963 -
President John F. Kennedy stood before the Berlin Wall and announced to a quarter of a million Germans that he was a jelly donut, in his famous "I am a jelly donut" ("ich bin ein jelly donut") speech.



Although embarrassing, this was considered an improvement over Eisenhower's infamous "I am a well-hung platypus" speech.


June 26, 1968 -
Pope Paul VI declares that the bones of Apostle and first Pope, Saint Peter, were found underneath St. Peter's Basilica in Rome. The bones are now housed in containers near where they were found, but some of them are clearly those of domesticated animals.




Oh well, another mystery of the church best left unexplained.


June 26, 1990 -
Irish Republican Army bombs the Carlton Club, an exclusive conservative gentleman's cabal in London.



(It is a well known fact that Margaret Thatcher was denoted an "honorary man" in order to become a member. It is not clear what surgical modifications, if any, were necessary.)



And so it goes.

Yes, can you believe it's LEON Day again?

LEON is NOEL spelled backwards. It is now six months until Christmas. Kids, you can take a quick check of the whole naughty/ nice thing and see how you are doing.

And who better to celebrate this day then birthday boy George Michael:



Now that you are in a slightly nauseated mood, watch this -

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Here's your Today in History:

June 25, 1876 -
This is a little cautionary tale about pissing off the wrong people. During the Battle of Little Big Horn, General George Armstrong Custer witnesses a large group of Indians fleeing their village, and decides to press his advantage. The cavalry officer shouts, "We've caught them napping, boys!" Then he splits his force of 210 men into three groups, in order to slaughter as many of the retreating noncombatants as possible. Which is right about the time Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse sweep in and kill the white men. Two days later, Custer's body is found amidst a cluster of 42 other corpses, the general entirely naked except for one boot, one sock, and an arrow stuck in his penis.



This is the native way a sending a very serious message.


Eric Arthur Blair was born on this day in 1903, in the Indian village of Motihari near the Nepalese border. His British father was an agent in the Opium Department of the Indian Civil Service. The family returned to England in 1907 so that young Eric could struggle and fail out of school. By 1921 he had returned to the subcontinent and joined the police in Burma. He spent five years with the Burmese police before returning to England to quit and struggle. He stayed in England for a year, then went to France to be poor.

Finally he returned to England and wrote a book about being poor in Paris but no one wanted to publish it. He told his mother to burn the book (she did not), then wrote a new one about being a policeman in Burma. It too was rejected by several publishers. Meanwhile, however, his mother had been sneaking around with the book she hadn't burned and had found a publisher for her son.



Upon submitting the final manuscript to the publisher, Blair decided that a book about being poor in Paris written by a middle-class servant of the British Empire might not look good, so he decided to write under a pen-name. The name he chose was George Orwell.



Later he wrote a book about the political frivolities of farm animals, and another one about a future that sucked (he later acknowledged that it would have been a cheerier book if he hadn't been dying of tuberculosis).

Finally he became a Famous Author and even a Great Writer, but by then he was dead, whatever his name was.


June 25, 1910 -
The Mann Act, sometimes known as the White Slave Traffic Act of 1910, makes it a federal crime to convey or assist in transporting women across state lines for prostitution, debauchery, or "any other immoral purpose." Men convicted of this heinous (if vague) statute face up to five years and a $5,000 fine for each count. Penalties are doubled if the female is underage, but men and boys are apparently not covered. This is, by far, the biggest party pooper in legislative history. Unless you're into guys.


June 25, 1938 -
Another classic Merry Melody cartoon, Have You Got Any Castles? was released on this date.




June 25, 1949 -
Jimmy Walker's dyn-o-mite birthday.




June 25, 1967 -
The first live, international, satellite television production (Our World) was broadcast on this date. Among the featured performers were opera singer Maria Callas and artist Pablo Picasso.



Oh yea, and The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, Eric Clapton, Marianne Faithfull, Keith Moon and Graham Nash.



And so it goes.

There's just so many things wrong with this video

After watching this a couple of times, I still have so many questions:



Chief among them -

Why is the steak manhandling Zach?


It's Midsummer day throughout most of Europe.




Here's Your Today In History -
June 24, 1374 -
In a sudden outbreak of Dancing Mania (aka "St. John's Dance"), people in the streets of Aix-la-Chapelle, Prussia experience terrible hallucinations and begin to jump and twitch uncontrollably until they collapse from exhaustion.



Many of the sufferers are afflicted with frothing at the mouth, diabolical screaming, and sexual frenzy. The phenomenon lasts well into the month of July. Nowadays, ergot madness is suspected as being the ultimate cause of the disorder.


June 24, 1812 -
Napoleon, ever the French cuisine booster, wants to spread his enjoyment of meals with heavy cream sauces and decides to invade Russia (ultimately with mixed results.)



He has to wait 70 years before Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky decides to write an Overture about the entire incident.


June 24, 1947 -
Businessman pilot Kenneth Arnold encounters a formation of nine flying saucers near Mt. Ranier, Washington, exhibiting unusual movements and velocities of 1,700 mph.



No explanation is found for this first report of flying saucers in the recent era, but it does earn Mr. Arnold legions of skeptics and an eventual IRS tax audit.


June 24, 1948 -
East Germany blockades the city of West Berlin.




June 24, 1949 -
Hopalong Cassidy premieres on NBC TV and becomes the first television Western series.




June 24, 1957 -
The U.S. Supreme Court rules, Roth v. United States, that obscenity is not protected by the First Amendment, though a dissenting opinion included with the ruling notes the issue of prior restraint renders this a terrible decision. By 1973, another case, Miller v. California, a five-person majority agreed for the first time since Roth as to a test for determining constitutionally unprotected obscenity, superseding the Roth test. By the time Miller was considered in 1973, Brennan had abandoned the Roth test and argued that all obscenity was constitutionally protected, unless distributed to minors or unwilling third-parties.

Now you know.


June 24, 1970 -
Mike Nichols' Catch 22 was released on this date .





And so it goes.

Hey - it didn't rain yesterday.

Could it be a trend?

Today in History
June 23, 1611 -
The mutinous crew of Henry Hudson's fourth voyage sets Henry, his son and seven loyal crew members adrift in an open boat in what is now Hudson Bay; they are never heard from again.



So much for loyalty.


June 23, 1860 -
The U.S. Secret Service is founded to fight counterfeiting, protect the President



and give Robert Conrad a career.


June 23, 1894
Edward Albert Christian George Andrew Patrick David Saxe-Coburg-Gotha , later to be known as the Duke of Windsor and briefly Edward VIII, King of England who abdicated his throne to marry American divorcee (and possible transvestite) Wallis Simpson, was born.



Sometimes, it's not's so good to be the king.


June 23 1979 -
The rock group, the Knack releases "My Sharona".



Could be one of the worst songs every.


June 23 1989 -
Tim Burton's dark and brooding of Batman, is released on this date.



Willem Dafoe, David Bowie, Dan Aykroyd, Danny DeVito, John Lithgow and James Woods were considered for the Joker.


June 23 1993 -
In the middle of the night, Lorena Bobbitt severs her husband John's penis and drives off, casually discarding the organ in a farm field.



Surgeons successfully reattach the penis, allowing John to enter the porn industry. The media devotes 1.3 million column-inches of type to the story as both Lorena and John gain celebrity status; consequently, their last name becomes a verb.


June 23 1994 -
Life may or may not be a box of chocolate but Forrest Gump premieres in Los Angeles, on this date.



Dave Chappelle turned down the role of Bubba, thinking the movie would bomb and has since admitted to deeply regretting it.


And on a personal note:
Happy Birthday David

and so it goes.

Happy Birthday Meryl

June 22, 1949 -
Possibly, the most talented actress of her generation, Mary Louise Streep,was born on this date.



Streep has received 15 Academy Award nominations and 23 Golden Globe nominations (winning six), more than any other person in film history. Her work has also earned her two Emmy Awards, two Screen Actors Guild Awards, a Cannes Film Festival award, three New York Film Critics Circle Awards, four Grammy Award nominations, a BAFTA award, and a Tony Award nomination.


June 22, 1946 -
Another of the classic 40's Daffy Duck cartoons, Hollywood Daffy, was released on this date.



What's Errol Flynn got that you haven't got? Don't answer that!


June 22, 1961 -
A Great old-fashion thriller, The Guns of Navarone, was released on this date.



Because the stars were all too old for their characters, the movie was nicknamed "Elderly Gang Goes Off to War" by the British press.


June 22, 1988 -
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (one of the most technically demanding films every shot - no CGI effect were used), was released on this date.



I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.



Today in History -
June 22, 1633 -
The Holy Office in Rome forces Galileo Galilei to recant his scientific view that the Sun, not the Earth, is the center of the Universe:



"I abjure with a sincere heart and unfeigned faith these errors and heresies, and I curse and detest them as well as any other error, heresy or sect contrary to the Holy Catholic Church."


June 22, 1906 -
Billy Wilder was born on this date. Not surprisingly, Mr. Wilder would go on to produce Some Like It Hot, starring Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, and Jack Lemmon, all of whom frolicked giddily on the beach in bikinis. Mr. Wilder, you see, was comfortable in his season.



Not like some people. Some people had to force it. Some people had to prove something. Some people were like Brian Wilson, who was born the day before summer (June 20) in 1942, and subsequently became a "Beach Boy" and produced an album called Endless Summer.


June 22, 1933 -
German chancellor Adolf Hitler banned every political party except his own Evil Nazi Bastards from winning elections.



The Evil Nazi Bastards swept the next elections, demonstrating the public's strong support for this measure.


June 22, 1940 -
France surrenders; hilarity ensues.



Adolf Hitler forces the instrument of surrender to be signed in the very railcar in which the French inflicted the humiliating World War I Treaty of Versailles upon the Germans.


June 22, 1941-
The German Army invades Russia, quickly destroying five Russian armies and one fourth of the Red air force. At completion of the war in 1945, nearly 27 million Soviets were dead.



Thus ended the German- Soviet "Peace and Friendship" Treaty.


June 22, 1969 -
The patron saint of the gay liberation movement, Judy Garland dies of a barbiturate overdose in her London apartment, either by accident or suicide.



It is not true that she did a header into the toilet and drowned.


June 22, 1993 -
Thelma Catherine "Pat" Ryan Nixon died on this date.



The patron saint of long suffering political wives and good Republican cloth coats. "Even when people can't speak your language, they can tell if you have love in your heart."


And so it goes.

No really - it is!

This year, Summer begins on June 21 at 1:45 AM in the northern hemisphere (which happens to be my favorite hemisphere, with the possible exception of the southern one). Summer is the period between the June solstice and the September equinox, and its broad appeal should therefore come as no surprise. Twenty-five percent of all winning lottery tickets are issued in summer.








Hope all of you fathers, stepfathers, fathers to be, mothers who are the fathers to their kids and fathers (but you don't know it) have a great Father's Day this weekend.


Today in History
June 21, 1877 -
The Molly Maguires, ten Irish immigrants who were labor activists, are hanged at Carbon County Prison in Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania. Author and Judge John P. Lavelle of Carbon County said of this, "The Molly Maguire trials were a surrender of state sovereignty.




A private corporation initiated the investigation through a private detective agency. A private police force arrested the alleged defenders, and private attorneys for the coal companies prosecuted them. The state provided only the courtroom and the gallows."


June 21, 1905-
It would have been the 104th birthday of Jean-Paul Sartre today.



But what the hell does he care, he's dead and it does mean anything anyway.


June 21, 1975 -
One of the all time great summer movies - Jaws opens on this date.



So remember, it's not safe to go back in the water or to take a shower.


June 21, 1977 -
The much under appreciated - New York, New York, directed by Martin Scorsese, was released on this date.



Do yourself a great favor and rent the restored DVD version.


June 21, 1982 -
Using an innovative Jodie Foster defense, John Hinckley is found not guilty by reason of insanity for the attempted assassination of President Ronald Reagan.



Nobody is impressed by this verdict.


June 21, 1989 -
The U.S. Supreme Court rules in Texas v. Johnson that flag burning is indeed protected speech under the Constitution, prompting Congress to put forth an endless series of amendments to ban the activity.




And so it goes.

Kids, your mom was right.

Eating raw cookie dough will get you sick.

June 20, 1942 -
It's Brian Wilson's birthday



and luckily he's no longer hearing those voices in his head.


June 20, 1974 -
"Forget about it Jake. It's Chinatown" - the unforgettable film noir classic, Chinatown, was released on this date.



At this point, this is the last movie Roman Polanski filmed in the U.S.


Here is your Today in History -
June 20, 1793 -
Eli Whitney applied for a patent on his Cotton Gin. More affordable than gin distilled from grain alcohol and juniper berries, Cotton Gin quickly became the drink of choice among America's rural poor.



This led to widespread outbreaks of Cotton Mouth and eventually caused the Civil War.


June 20, 1756 -
In Calcutta, 146 British prisoners are placed in a 18 foot by 14 foot cell known as The Black Hole by a Bengali, Siraj-ud-daula, and held there until the following morning. Of those imprisoned, only 23 survive.



Even with the economic downturn, an apartment that size would sell for $300,000.00 in Manhattan.



June 20, 1782 -
Congress adopts the Great Seal of the United States.



Although several people on the were Masons, the Masonic institutions themselves deny that the Seal is Masonic; therefore, any resemblance is purely coincidental.



Of course.


June 20, 1893 -
Lizzie Borden is found innocent of giving her stepmother and father forty and forty-one whacks, respectively.



Once O.J. finds the real killers of his wife while in prison, he promised to get cracking on this case as well.


June 20, 1947 -
Bugsy Siegel (Warren Beatty) is shot to death at Virginia Hill's (Annette Bennings) mansion, on orders from Meyer Lansky.




Siegel gets it twice in the face, and his right eyeball ends up on the dining room floor.


And so it goes.

Enjoy the brief respite

Looks like the rain is going to hold off for most of the day - if at all possible, walk around nude to air dry your nether regions.


Today in History:
June 19, 1312 -
Piers Gaveston, close personal friend of King Edward II of England, is beheaded after he attempted to return to Edward's side, having been banished for being too close a personal friend.



After succession to king, Edward appointed Gaveston as Earl of Cornwall for no other reason than being his close personal friend.

And for his troubles, Edward II ends his day with a serious pain in his ass.


June 19, 1623 -
Blaise Pascal was born in France on this date (which worked out extremely well for him as he wanted to grow up to be French.)



At the age of 17 he wrote a paper entitled Essay on Conic Sections, which quickly became the best-selling paper on conic sections in European history and eventually inspired the classic French noir film, Death by Conic Section.

By the age of 22 Mr. Pascal had invented a calculator. Unfortunately he could not invent the battery, so he turned to religion.



And he meant to get around to it right away, but in 1647 he ended up proving the existence of a vacuum. The famous French philosopher Rene Descartes visited Pascal, inspected his vacuum, and bemoaned its lack of attachable hoses. This caused an epistemological split that has endured to the present day.

("The more I see of men," Pascal observed at about this time, "the better I like my dog." This was a famous quotation and can be found on many greeting cards.)

In 1653 he discovered Pascal's Law of Pressure. A year later he was involved in a carriage accident that reminded him he had turned to religion. He turned back to it.

He began work on his famous Pensées ("Blather") in 1656 and worked on it for three years. In the book, Pascal proved that if God didn't exist then believing in Him wouldn't hurt, whereas if He did exist, not believing would hurt like Hell.

It has been observed that if Pascal was wrong, not reading his book wouldn't hurt, and if he was right it wouldn't hurt either.



When he was 39 a malignant growth in his stomach spread to his brain and he died horribly, proving that unbearable pain is unbearable pain whatever you think of God or philosophy.


June 19, 1867 -
Emperor Maximilian of Mexico (Brian Aherne), unwitting stooge for Napoleon III (Claude Rains), is executed by firing squad. Although he bribed the seven riflemen to not shoot him in the head, one did anyway.



Bette Davis somehow figures into this as the Mad Empress Charlotta was just snapped when she returned to France to get help for her beleaguered husband. She lived in her private mad world for over 60 years, dying in the mid twenties of the next century.



So much for the privileges afforded royalty.


June 19, 1934 -
The Federal Communications Commission, perhaps the most wicked body of do-gooders ever to exist in the United States, is created.



These are the clowns that perfected the fine art of capricious and arbitrary.


June 19, 1953 -
Atomic spies Julius and Ethel Rosenberg are electrocuted at Sing-Sing Prison, becoming the first civilians ever executed for espionage in American history. Five jolts of electricity were required to kill Ethel. Ethel did not succumb immediately and was subjected to two more electrical charges before being pronounced dead. The chair was designed for a man of average size; and Ethel Rosenberg was a petite woman: this discrepancy resulted, it is claimed, in the electrodes fitting poorly and making poor electrical contact. Eyewitness testimony (as given by a newsreel report featured in The Atomic Cafe) describes smoke rising from her head. That must have been a pretty sight.



While her husband Julius was on the Soviet payroll, according to recently released archives, is now clear that Ethel had no involvement in the espionage ring. For that matter, it is unclear how much Julius actually assisted the Soviet atomic bomb effort.

So much for American Justice.


June 19, 1982 -
Roberto Calvi, chairman of Banco Ambrosiano, is found hanging from Blackfriar's Bridge in London. His death is initially ruled a suicide, though it is quite obviously murder; that assessment is later overturned. Calvi may have been killed because of his involvement in the laundering of drug money through the Vatican Bank. This is part of the back story of Godfather III.



Roberto Calvi's life was insured for $10 million with Unione Italiana, and attempts by his family to obtain a payout resulted in litigation. Following the forensic report of 2002 which established that Calvi was murdered, the policy was finally paid out, although around half of the sum was paid to creditors of the Calvi family who had incurred considerable costs during their attempts to establish that Calvi had been murdered.

So much for Italian justice.

Now I'm not suggesting that the Mafia (which does exist) go out and hang Bernie Madoff - all I'm saying is keep an eye on the Third Avenue Bridge.


And so it goes.

Poor Billy Joel

His latest marriage has hit the rocks - (his 32 year younger wife has been stepping out on him in a major way.)

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

Hopefully he can keep it together.


June 18, 1952 -
Isabella Rossellini, One of Hollywoods' most intelligent and beautiful actresses was born on this date.



Also one of the funniest.


Today in History:
European history would have been dramatically different if only for a higher fiber diet.

One of the most decisive battles in the history of Europe was fought in Belgium on June 18, 1815, as a resurgent Napoleon Bonaparte launched his last military offensive against the Duke of Wellington and the Prussian Marshal Blücher. Nearly 50,000 men were killed in the battle. Napoleon lost in part due to a case of inflamed hemorrhoids



The battle was commemorated by Swedish sensation Abba in their 1970s hit, "Waterloo."



Abba's interpretation of Waterloo's significance has been controversial from the start, as it tended to focus less on the military and political implications of the battle than on the feelings of euphoria typically incited by hormonal rushes of erotic excitement.

On June 18, 1817, Waterloo Bridge was opened over the River Thames in London,



probably in anticipation of the great Abba hit.


June 18, 1900 -
The Empress Dowager of China orders all foreigners killed. Among those meeting this fate are the foreign diplomats, their families, as well as hundreds of Christian missionaries and their Chinese converts.



She was apparently having a very bad day.


June 18, 1940
The "This was their finest hour speech" was delivered by Sir Winston Churchill to the House of Commons of the Parliament of the United Kingdom on this date.



It was given shortly after he took over as Prime Minister of Britain on 10 May, in the first year of World War II.


June 18, 1959 -
Based on his erratic behavior, the Governor of Louisiana, Earl K. Long, is committed to a state mental hospital.



Long responds by arranging for the hospital's director to be fired, and the new director proclaims him perfectly sane. (It is no secret that the man was completely nuts.)


June 18, 1967 -
Famed guitarist Jimi Hendrix burns his guitar on stage at the Monterey Pop Festival.



There had to be a better way to toast marchmallows.


June 18, 1980 -
The Blues Brothers Movie, starring Dan Akwoyd & John Belushi premieres on this date. Ounce for ounce (other than Walt Disney's The Jungle Book,) the most amount of dope is smoked in film history during the production of this film.



How much for your wife?



Also a very big shout out to Johnny V. Happy Birthday big guy.



And so it goes.

It's International Violin Day

June 17, 1950 -
Bugs Bunny recounts his life story to a reporter from "Disassociated Press" in What's Up Doc?, released on this date.



... but now we have to go.


June 17, 1983 -
A late Kubrick masterpiece, Full Metal Jacket, is released on this date.



Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me, M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.


Today in History:
June 17, 1775 -
American forces were defeated by the British at Breed's Hill, near Boston, in the Battle of Bunker Hill, after famously withholding their fire until they could see the whites of their enemies' eyes.



This battle should not be confused with that of Bunker Hill, fought on Breed's Hill, during which the Americans shot like hell at anything that moved.


June 17, 1797 -
Agha Muhammad Khan, Shah of Persia (also a eunuch, but that's another story) ordered his servants to bring him a melon cut into slices. He finished half, ordered the other half to be put away and vowed to his servants, that if even one slice of the melon was missing in the morning, all three servants would be beheaded by him. Later on that night one of the servants forgot and ate a slice. The servants then killed Agha Muhammad Khan with the dagger because they were afraid he would kill them in the morning.



There's a lesson here somewhere - Treat your staff better? Purchase more fruit for dessert? Dare to eat the peach?


The Statue of Liberty, France's gift to the United States marking the Centennial of the American Declaration of Independence arrived in New York Harbor on June 17, 1885 on board the French frigate Isère (only nine years after the event).



To prepare for transit, the Statue was reduced to 350 individual pieces and packed in 214 crates. (The right arm and the torch, which were completed earlier, had been exhibited at the Centennial Exposition in Philadelphia in 1876, and thereafter at Madison Square in New York City.)



June 17, 1939 -
In Versailles, Eugene Weidmann becomes the last person to be publicly guillotined.



One year later, France asks Germany for terms of surrender in WW II, Marshal Henri Petain replaced Paul Reynaud (chose to resign over surrender) as prime minister and announced his intention to sign an armistice with the Nazis.

You make the connections.


June 17, 1968-
Ohio Express' "Yummy Yummy Yummy (I've got love in my tummy)" goes gold.




June 17, 1972 -
Five men broke into the Democratic Party National Committee headquarters at the Watergate building in Washington, DC. They had hoped to bug the offices but were arrested before they could release any insects.



President Nixon will later describe as a "third rate burglary." Their arrests ultimately led to President Richard Nixon's resignation in 1974.

(Nixon's resignation prior to 1974 is attributed to simple melancholy.)


June 17, 1994 -
Convicted memorabilia thug O.J. Simpson fails to turn himself in to the LAPD at a prearranged time and is later spotted in a white Ford Bronco on a Los Angeles expressway. After a low-speed pursuit through the freeways and streets of Brentwood, O.J. is finally arrested live on television in the driveway of his mansion.



According to one of the defense attorneys who served on O.J.'s "Dream Team," Simpson tried to kill himself in the car, but the gun misfired. The Juice allegedly told him: "I pulled the trigger and it didn't go off."

That would have saved everyone a boatload of trouble.



And so it goes.

My suggestion - Sun lamps.

It's not supposed to rain today so I think everybody should strip naked and lie under a sun lamp to avoid mushrooms actually sprouting on the body.


Here is your Today in History -
Jun 16 1750 BC -
King Hammurabi dies in Babylon, and is succeeded by his son Samsu-iluna.



I know you're saying to yourself, "Who cares?". Well, now that you know, you can feel morally superior to the schlub sitting next to you on the subway going home tonight.


June 16, 1904 -
Today is the date on which all the events depicted in James Joyce's famous novel Ulysses take place, even though the book itself was published in 1922 and therefore cannot celebrate a real centennial until my daughters have graduated college. There is probably also a lot of excitement in the sorts of intellectual circles.



And now, you can truly impress your friends by telling them the plot -

Leopold Bloom, the main character of Ulysses, does not have much work to do, so he spends most of his day wandering around Dublin doing some errands. He leaves his house on Eccles Street, walks south across the River Liffey, picks up a letter, buys a bar of soap, and goes to the funeral of a man he didn't know very well. In the afternoon, he has a cheese sandwich, he feeds the gulls in the river, helps a blind man cross the street, and visits a couple of pubs. He thinks about his job, his wife, his daughter, his stillborn son. He muses about life and death and reincarnation. He knows that his wife is going to cheat on him that afternoon at his house. In the evening, he wanders around the red light district of Dublin and meets up with a young writer named Stephen Dedalus, who is drunk. Leopold Bloom takes him home with him and offers to let him spend the night. And they stand outside, looking at the stars for a while. And then Bloom goes inside and climbs into bed with his wife.



"Happy Bloomsday!" the straight-A English majors will greet one another joyously. "Yes - yes - yes!" they'll exclaim. It will all be terrific fun. They'll feel smart and proud and better than the rest of us (and you again can feel morally superior for knowing it), and now you know why.




Jun 16 1948 -
In the first skyjacking of a commercial plane, three armed men storm the cockpit of the Miss Macao, a passenger seaplane operated by Cathay Pacific airline.



When the pilot refuses to turn over the controls, he is shot dead and the plane crashes into the ocean. The only survivor among the 27 people on board is the leader of the terrorists.


Jun 16 1958 -
Imre Nagy, once prime minister of Hungary for all of ten days, is executed by the Soviet Union for attempting to withdraw his country from the Warsaw Pact.



It is said that Nikita Khrushchev had Nagy executed, "as a lesson to all other leaders in socialist countries."

That'll learn em.


Jun 16 1959 -
While entertaining friends at his home, George Reeves (Ben Affleck), who played the title character in the original Superman TV series, goes upstairs to his bedroom and commits suicide with a 9mm German Luger.



This has been hotly debated and it is now believe that the irate husband of a B movie actress Reeves was sleeping with, shot the actor in his home.


Jun 16 1960 -
Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho opens in New York.



Mother! Oh God, mother! Blood! Blood! How about a nice hot shower anybody?


Jun 16 1976 -
15,000 schoolchildren take to the streets of Soweto to protest South Africa's adoption of bilingual instruction in the Afrikaans language.



The nonviolent march ends abruptly when police and soldiers open fire on the crowd, killing 600 and igniting days of rioting throughout the region.


Jun 16 1999 -
The founder of the United Kingdom's Monster Raving Loony Party, one Screaming Lord Sutch (real name David Edward Sutch, 3rd Earl of Harrow), is found hanged at his late mother's residence. Sutch was the longest lasting party leader in the UK at the time of his death, ruled a suicide.



One of the Loony Party planks was to ask rhetorically, "Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?"




And so it goes.

Here comes the rain again.

Alright, enough all ready - walking around this weekend, I noticed mushrooms sprouting up in sidewalk cracks.



I'm afraid of developing permanent crotch rot.


Here is your Today in History -
June 15, 1215 -
All the English Barons of the realm gathered with King John at Runnymede and presented him with a little document they'd prepared. They asked him either to sign the document or to specify what they should do with his remains. The king signed.



This was the Magna Carta, and therefore historical.



The terms of the Magna Carta (aka, "The Magna Charta," aka "The Big Chart") provided that freemen should be free, that freemen should not be put to death, that freemen should be able to get married, that freemen should only be judged by juries of other freemen, and that a measure of wine should be a measure of wine. The only people excepted from these liberties were the People.



(Our own Bill of Rights borrowed heavily from the Magna Carta, although it allowed that the People included people not previously considered the People, except in those cases in which the people were still not People.)


June 15, 1330 -
King Edward III was a famous English king, celebrated for his invention of manners and discovery of the economy. He played tennis, and once famously rebuked the King of France for having sent him his balls in a box.

King Edward established the Order of the Garter because he was what English nobles referred to as a "leg man." (It was he who also famously remarked, "Honi soit qui mal y pense," or "Honey, show us some cheesecake.")

King Edward had many sons, one of whom was born on June 15, 1330. This son he named Prince Edward. Though white at birth, he eventually became England's first Black Prince.



Prince Edward eventually married Joan of Kent. In her youth, Joan had been known as the "Fairly Made" because she was so fat; in later years she was referred to as "Chubster" and "Lardass," though seldom to her face.

At the age of sixteen, Prince Edward and his father the king led the English against the French at Crecy, in order to start the 100 years war. There were many more French than English, but the English had the advantage of the Long Boa. The French were powerless against this innovation. Ten years later, the English and French took the field again, this time at Poitiers. The French had learned from experience, and tried to counter the English Long Boa with their own Very Large Scarf. They failed. The English took France's King John prisoner and ransomed him for half a million pounds (250 tons). Prince Edward was kind to the French king, however, and prayed with him, which proved that the apple had not fallen far from the tree. (Edward was also a "legman.")

By now he had become the Black Prince.

In recognition of his prowess, the Black Prince was made the ruler of Aquitaine in 1362. When some of the French rebelled at Limoges in 1370, he had all 3000 inhabitants killed. This resulted in peace. The Black Prince died before he could succeed to the throne, thereby losing the opportunity to become England's first Black King.

Edward and Joan had two children. One was Edward, who died in infancy and was therefore ineligible to be king. The other was Richard, also known as Richard II, who succeeded to the throne only to abdicate in favor of Henry IV, Part 1.
Following Henry IV Parts 1 and 2 came Henry V, then Henry VI parts 1, 2, and 3, and then finally Richard III.


June 15, 1409 -
Petros Philargos is elected Pope Alexander V by the Council of Pisa. This poses a certain amount of difficulty and increased the amount of Papal Bull, as there already is a Pope in Rome, Gregory XII, and another in Avignon, Benedict XII. Ultimately, none of the three is willing to step down, leading the Chuch into a double schism.


On June 15, 1520, Pope Leo X (no relation to Malcolm or the Generation) excommunicated Martin Luther with a papal bull.



Pope Leo X is famous for his use of bulls, although not quite as famous (and we know it's not true) as Catherine the Great for her use of horses.


Dr. Jean-Baptiste Denys, the personal physician to Louis XIV, performed the first blood transfusion in history on June 15,1667. He performed the transfusion on a fifteen year old boy, using blood from a sheep.



The experiment was considered a success, although it was clearly a disappointment if you were rooting for the sheep.


On June 15, 1752, Benjamin Franklin flew a kite in a thunderstorm to prove his now famous theory that lightning is some powerful sh*t.




The General Slocum worked as a passenger ship, taking people on excursions around New York City. On June 15, 1904, the ship had been chartered for $350 by the St. Mark's Evangelical Lutheran Church in the German district Little Germany, Manhattan. This was an annual rite for the group, which had made the trip for 17 consecutive years. Over 1,300 passengers, mostly women and children, boarded the General Slocum. It was to sail up the East River and then eastward across Long Island Sound to Locust Grove, a picnic site in Eatons Neck, Long Island. It caught fire and burned to the water line in New York's East River.



More than 1,000 people died in the accident, making it New York City's worst loss-of-life disaster until the September 11, 2001 attacks.


June 15, 1955 -
The Eisenhower administration stages the first annual OPAL exercise. In the "Operation Alert" drill, air raid sirens blare across America to assess our preparations for a nuclear attack.



Duck and cover, people.


June 15, 1969 -
Hee Haw debuts on CBS television as a summer replacement for the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour.



The country bumpkin musical comedy show quickly becomes an institution, airing weekly until its demise in December 1997.


And so it goes.

Yes- It is a grand old flag.

It was on this date in 1777 that the Stars and Stripes was adopted as the official flag of the United States of America.



On June 14, 1877, the first Flag Day observance was held on the 100th anniversary of the adoption of the Stars and Stripes


This song popped into my head yesterday afternoon while I was walking down the street.



Which, if I think about it, is a good way for this song to come to you.


Here is your Today in History -
June 14, 1648 -
Midwife Margaret Jones is hanged in Boston for witchcraft.



It is the first such execution for the Massachusetts colony, but not the first in the colonies.


June 14, 1938 -
Jerry Seinfeld is whooping it up today:



Action Comics issues the first Superman comic.


June 14, 1940 -
Rick and Elsa have a quick drink as they plan to leave Paris ahead of the Nazi invasion. Little does Rick know that Elsa does not plan to join him (but that's another story.)



Paris Falls to the Nazis .

June 14, 1949 -
The wonderful black comedy Kind Hearts and Coronets, starring the ever present Alec Guinness, was released on this date.



Thankfully, plans for a remake starring Will Smith and Robin Williams has been shelved.


June 14, 1954 -
At the Lincoln Memorial, President Dwight Eisenhower signs a law inserting the words "under God" into the Pledge of Allegiance. Eisenhower declares: "From this day forward, the millions of our schoolchildren will daily proclaim in every city and town, every village and rural schoolhouse, the dedication of our nation and our people to the Almighty." Precisely which Almighty is left to the listener's imagination.



I would like to think that Ike was thinking about the Canaanite god - Baal.


Jun 14 1961 -
1980s pop music star Boy George is born in Kent, England.



As he later comes to describe his childhood, "I had five brothers and I was brought up drinking the same water and being fed the same doctrine as my brothers, but somehow I turned out to be a fabulous homosexual."


Jun 14 1962 -
Albert DeSalvo murders Anna Slesersby by strangling her with the belt from her robe. She is only the first victim of "The Boston Strangler."



Or did he?


Jun 14 1966 -
The Vatican announces the abolition of its Index librorum prohibitum (Index of Prohibited Books), originally instituted in 1557 by Pope Paul IV. Notable novelists on the list were Laurence Sterne, Voltaire, Daniel Defoe, Honoré de Balzac, Jean-Paul Sartre. If you are ever in doubt of what to read - check out the Index.


Jun 14 1976 -
The Gong Show debuts on NBC. People with dubious talents perform their acts before a celebrity panel of judges, who are free to eject the performer at any time by banging a large gong. The best non-gonged performer each night wins $516.32.



During the time the show is on the air, it's creator, Chuck Barris, suffered a complete mental breakdown, he says from the stress of being a secret CIA hit man. No really, I'm not kidding you.


Jun 14 1989 -
Zsa Zsa Gabor is arrested for slapping a Beverly Hills police officer and driving with an expired license. Afterwards Zsa Zsa complains to the press that the handling she received from the BHPD "was like Nazi Germany."



Ultimately, Gabor is convicted and sentenced to 72 hours in jail. Francesca Hilton, Zsa Zsa's daughter, is Paris and Nicky Hilton's aunt.

I'll let you draw your own conclusions.


And on a personal note:

Dear Nephew Irving,

Happy Birthday. Tante and I send you a million hugs and kisses. Don't concern yourself with the fact that we have barely seen you this year. Tante is now utterly senile and believes herself to be the Empress Eugenie. Thank goodness for Depends.

We know that we are old and a great embarrassment to you. You should live your life, we will just die quietly.

You should be happy on your birthday.


And so it goes.