Friday, May 5, 2023

Do not embarrass yourself

Please take a brief pause from getting ready for the massive margarita you all have to make to celebrate this day.

For those of you who don't know - it's not Mexican Independence Day (that's September 16th) - it's the celebration of Mexican General Ignacio Zaragoza victory over the French General Charles Latrille de Lorencez.





If you need another reason to celebrate the day - A US patent was issued for the first bottle with a screw cap and a pour lip to Edward A. Ravenscroft, of Glencoe, Illinois (No 2,039,345,) on this date. Abbott Laboratories of North Chicago manufactured the bottles.

And remember, the Mexican government never did pay for that wall and there is no truth to the rumor that the Corona bottling company workers pee in the beer!



They only do that in Denmark (and Singapore.)





Hopefully, someday, Corona will get past the stupidity of some of the American population. (And that you never taste the other two beers.)


In all cultures, the midwife’s place is on the threshold of life, where intense human emotions, fear, hope, longing, triumph, and incredible physical power-enable a new human being to emerge. The vocation is unique..



But I know many of you could care less that it's International Midwivery Day; the idea of having a day to recognize and honor midwives came out of the 1987 International Confederation of Midwives conference in the Netherlands.


And last but not least, the First Friday in May appears to be No Pants Day. If you are interested in recognizing the celebration of No Pants Day, then you should express yourself and go sans trousers this May 5th, always observed on the first Friday of May. Regular U.S. mail service and parking enforcement are still in place as this ridiculous day is not a U.S. national holiday.

No Pants Day, is believed to have been started by a group of students at the University of Texas who thought leaving the pants at home on the first Friday in May would be a fun way to end the semester. A winter spin-off was created called No Pants Subway Ride, which unfortunately cancelled this year, once again due to the pandemic.


May 5, 1934 -
Columbia Pictures released their first Three Stooges short, Woman Haters, starring Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Curly Howard, on this date.



Out of the 190+ shorts The Three Stooges made, this is one of the few in which their characters aren't called by the Stooges' real names (or variations of their real names).


May 5, 1952 -
One of the most famous episodes of the I Love Lucy series, Lucy Does a TV Commercial, (also known as Vitameatavegamin,) aired on this date. In 1997, TV Guide ranked it #2 on their list of the 100 Greatest Episodes of All Time.



Ross Elliott, who played the director, said of this episode: "I chewed the inside of my mouth out to keep from laughing out loud. Lucy would do new stuff that wasn't rehearsed, like an extra-funny face. Then, at one point, she became 'drunk' and started making eyes at me, flirting, and I almost broke up again". Desi Arnez said that it was virtually impossible to keep from laughing during the part where Lucy has to prove to Ricky that she's fit to do the commercial. Desi had to bite the inside of his cheeks to keep from laughing out loud, and you can see in the episode how he's struggling not to lose it. During other parts of the commercial, Desi clearly was watching from the audience, and you can hear his very distinct laugh.


May 5, 2000 -
Steely Dan kicked off the fifth year of The Today Show's Summer Concert series with a rare live performance on this date.



The band found it very nerve-racking to appear on a totally live broadcast for fear of any technical glitches out of their control.


May 5, 2002
Sam Raimi's offering from the Marvel universe, Spider-Man, starring Tobey Maguire, Willem Dafoe, Kristen Dunst, and James Franco, went into general release on this date. It became the fastest movie ever to earn more than $100 million at the box office, raking in $114.8 million that weekend.



To acquire his bumped-up physique, Tobey Maguire went through a strict five-month regimen of exercise, weight training and martial arts six times a week, as well as eating a high protein meal four to six times a day.


May 5, 2018 -
Childish Gambino aka Donald Glover releases the music video to his latest single This is America on this date.



Childish Gambino was accused on social media of ripping off New York rapper Jase Harley's 2016 track American Pharaoh for this song. While both tunes do indeed feature dark lyrics about being black in America over a menacing beat, Harley seemed to be relaxed about the alleged musical theft, saying, "I feel extremely humbled to be recognized and labeled as one of, or the original inspiration, for one of the most important pieces of music and visual art of our time."


Another unimportant moment in history


Today in History:
May 5, 2349 BC -
Noah's Ark landed on Mount Ararat on this date, according to calculations by James Ussher, Archbishop of the Church of Ireland.



According to the good bishop, Noah heard about the two for one Margaritas at Senor Swanky's.


May 5, 1821 -
Napoleon died on the island of St. Helena on this date. After confession, Extreme Unction and Viaticum in the presence of Father Ange Vignali, Napoleon's last words were, "France, l'armée, tête d'armée, Joséphine" ("France, army, head of the army, Joséphine"). Some suspect Napoleon died from arsenic poisoning.



More likely, he died from stomach cancer as did his father. But then who knows, I wasn't there, were you?



Beethoven's 3rd Symphony was originally called Bonaparte as tribute to Napoleon, the First Consul. When Napoleon proclaimed himself Emperor in 1804, the disillusioned Beethoven tore up the pages of his score in a rage, stamped on it and changed it to Eroica (meaning heroic). When informed of the death of Napoleon on May 5, 1821, Beethoven said, "I wrote the music for this sad event seventeen years ago", referring to the funereal second movement.



But wait, there's more - Urban legend has it, post-death, Napoléon Bonaparte’s penis was removed from body during his autopsy, smuggled to Cosica by Father Ange Vignali, displayed in a Philadelphia museum (during the early 20th century), and ended up under the bed of John Kingsley Lattimer, a prominent urologist, ballistics expert and collector of historical relics who treated top-ranking Nazis during the Nuremberg war crimes trials and was the first nongovernmental medical specialist allowed to examine the evidence in President John F. Kennedy’s assassination. (You just can't make this stuff up.)

So Yes, much like Einstein's long traveling brain - they stole Napoleon's penis.


May 5, 1891 -
The Music Hall (Carnegie Hall) opened in NYC on this date with Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, noted Russian composer and secret sodomite, as guest conductor.



It was quite a celebration. Andrew Carnegie’s new Music Hall opened with a five-day music festival on this date.


May 5, 1921 -
French designer Coco Chanel introduced her iconic Chanel Number 5 perfume to some of her friends on this date. Initially, it was given to preferred clients for free at her boutique. The fitting rooms in her boutique were also scented with No. 5.



Coco Chanel commissions renowned perfumer Ernest Beaux to create the most expensive perfume in the world, Jasmine was the most expensive perfume oil and Chanel No. 5 relies heavily on Jasmine.


May 5, 1925 -
High school teacher John T. Scopes was arrested on this date for teaching evolution by authorities in Dayton, Tennessee, as part of a publicity stunt to make the town famous.



Since Scopes admitted teaching the theory, he was found guilty, and the law remained on the books in the backward state until 1967.


May 5, 1930 -
Amy Johnson, the British Amelia Earhart, took off in a De Havilland Moth airplane, modified with larger engine and extra fuel tanks that gave it a 13-hour flight time, from Croydon Airport, in London, on this date, in her attempt to become the first woman to fly solo from Britain to Australia.



The harsh conditions along the way caused many fitful starts and stops. Nevertheless, she made it to Darwin, Northern Territory, in Australia on May 24, and achieved instant celebrityhood.


May 5, 1943 -
When I'm travelling, I always take my little notebook and scribble things down as I watch them; I'm very much geared to everything that's happening. Whereas, the diary I keep is just about a record of a day I've spent. When I'm filming, I'm looking quite intensely at everything I see and trying to get my own eye on what we're going through..



Michael Palin, actor, screenwriter and (thankfully for humanity) a very silly person was born on this date. (Please have a kind thought for Michael on the very recent loss of his wife of 57 years, Helen, just the other day.)


May 5, 1945 -
Mrs Elsie Mitchell and five neighborhood children were killed while attempting to drag a Japanese balloon out the woods in Lakeview, Oregon on this date. Unbeknownst to Mitchell and the children, the balloon was armed, and it exploded soon after they began tampering with it.



They were the only people killed in action on the US mainland during World War II.


May 5th, 1955 -
On this bright and sunny spring day, the United States decided to blow an American city into oblivion in order to test a new cooking method. At 5:10 am on this date, a nuclear bomb assigned to Operation Cue (a.k.a. ‘Apple-2’ or Operation Teapot) was detonated at Area 1 of the Nevada Test Site. A collection of structures, buildings (one containing a freezer full of Birds Eye frozen cod fillets, along with frozen chicken pot pie, frozen french fried potatoes, and other chilled foods) even mannequins were designed to measure the effects of an atomic weapon used against urban centers.



According to officials, “Frozen food samples from the stations at 1270 and 2750ft were found to be definitely radioactive, particularly the cod fillets.” Shockingly, the food samples were eaten; no surprise, they didn't take good. Developers of microwaves felt this was not a practical method for quick and efficient cooking.

No word on the survival rate of the taste testers.


May 5, 1961 -
Alan B. Shepard was the first American in space, with a fifteen minute suborbital flight. He was forced to piss himself in his suit prior to launch, as it lacked an evacuation system.



He and his soiled space suit were launched in the 2,000-lb. capsule Freedom 7 from Cape Canaveral, Florida, by a Mercury-Redstone 3 rocket. The flight traveled 302 miles at a speed relative to the ground of of 4,500 mph.

This will be on the test.


May 5, 1981 -
Bobby Sands died after refusing food for 66 days in protest of his treatment as a criminal rather than a political prisoner by British authorities, on this date. His death immediately touched off widespread rioting in Belfast, as young Irish-Catholic militants clashed with police and British Army patrols and started fires. After Sands’ death, the hunger strike continued, and nine more men perished before it was called off on October 3, 1981, under pressure from Catholic Church leaders and the prisoners’ families.



In the aftermath of the strike, the administration of British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher agreed to give in to several of the protesters’ demands, including the right to wear civilian clothing and the right to receive mail and visits. Prisoners were also allowed to move more freely and no longer were subject to harsh penalties for refusing prison work. Official recognition of their political status, however, was not granted.


May 5, 1994 -
Michael Fay, an American teenager, was charged along with others for vandalism in Singapore. Fay’s original sentence was four months in jail, a large fine and six caning strokes. With the enormous amount of media coverage in the United States and the intervention of U.S. President Bill Clinton, this was reduced to approximately three months in jail, and four strokes.



Although, in the U.S., this is considered unusual and harsh punishment for vandalism, U.S. public support for the whacking was overwhelming (running 90% in Fay’s home town of Dayton, Ohio). Mr. Fay was obviously a popular kid back home.

There were many a buff hairless youth from the West Village would have gladly volunteered to take his place, assuming the position, spreading their firm, waxed buttock, exposing their freshly bleached anus, and manly taken four and twenty lashes with barely a whimper and eagerly have asked for more.



And so it goes.

Thursday, May 4, 2023

Alright, everyone contain themselves



May 4th is known as Star Wars Day.



You get it - May the Fourth be with you.



Oh, never mind.


May 4, 1943 -
Billy Wilder's under-rated wartime drama, Five Graves to Cairo, starring Franchot Tone, Anne Baxter, Akim Tamiroff, and Erich von Stroheim, premiered in Los Angeles, on this date.



On the first day director Billy Wilder's hero, Erich von Stroheim, arrived on set, Wilder ran to the wardrobe department to welcome him. He said, "This is a very big moment in my life . . . that I should now be directing the great Stroheim. Your problem, I guess, was that you were ten years ahead of your time." Von Stroheim replied, "Twenty."


May 4, 1944 -
George Cukor's atmospheric thriller, Gaslight, starring Charles Boyer, Ingrid Bergman, and an 18-year-old Angela Lansbury (in her film debut,) premiered in the US on this date.



Screenwriter John Van Druten suggested that George Cukor should offer screentests to some of Moyna MacGill's daughters for a role in this movie. MacGill was a well-known English actress who had become a refugee during World War II. Angela Lansbury was the first of MacGill's daughters that Cukor auditioned. Lansbury had never acted in any capacity before her screen test, but she wowed Cukor with her natural talent and professionalism. Cukor recalled that from the first day on-set, Lansbury was perfectly at ease and at home, even though she had no experience acting. He called her a natural-born actress.


May 4, 1949 -
The tenth pairing of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, The Barkleys of Broadway, premiered on this date.



Fred Astaire's wife Phyllis was widely rumored to have forbidden Fred to kiss Ginger Rogers in their first nine films together. To end the gossip, in The Barkleys of Broadway Fred and Ginger combined to perform a kiss that was the longest recorded on a Hollywood film to that date.


May 4, 1959 -
Originally called the Gramophone awards, the first Grammys were handed out on this date, to honor the musical accomplishments by performers for the year 1958. The ceremony was hosted by comedian Mort Sahl and held at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California. At the same time, Recording Academy members convened for a simultaneous function at the Park Sheraton Hotel in New York City.



Ella Fitzgerald along with Count Basie became the first African American singers to win Grammy Awards at the first annual ceremony. The very first Grammy Awards for Record of the Year went to Domenico Modugno's Nel Blu, Dipinto di Blu (Volare) and Henry Mancini's The Music From Peter Gunn soundtrack winning Album of the Year. The Champs' Tequila, for some reason, takes home Best Rhythm and Blues Performance.


May 4, 1959 -
François Truffaut's seminal New Wave film, The 400 Blows, starring Jean-Pierre Léaud, premiered at the Cannes Film Festival on this date.



Jean-Pierre Léaud's answers to the questions given to him by the psychologist at the camp near the end of the film were not scripted. Francois Truffaut told Leaud in advance about the scene for what to expect to a certain extent, and did provide some minor coaching when Leaud answered the question in between takes as to what was working and what was not, but at large, Leaud's answers are unscripted and ad-libbed, per Truffaut's wishes, who wanted the scene to feel spontaneous and believable.


May 4, 1973 -
Bruce Jay Friedman's Off-Broadway play, Steambath debuted on PBS, on this date.



Valerie Perrine became the first woman to display (on purpose) her nipples on American network television. Perrine is also seen taking a shower from the side and her butt was in full view. Only 24 PBS stations were adventurous enough to carry the program.


May 4, 1984 -
Universal Pictures released John Hughes' directorial debut, Sixteen Candles, starring Molly Ringwald (her first film), Paul Dooley, Justin Henry, and Anthony Michael Hall, premiered on this date.



The movie's costume designer begged Molly Ringwald not to wear the hat she wore in the beginning of the movie. Ringwald insisted. After the movie was released, teenage girls started wearing their hats tilted back like that.


Another ACME Safety Film


Today in History:
May 4, 1626 -
Dutch explorer Peter Minuit landed on what is now Manhattan island, where a little settlement had been established on the southern tip by the Dutch East India Company, called New Amsterdam.



While the Indians have been pissed off even since then, there are some in Congress are investigating whether or not they can sell NYC back to the Indians.


May 4 1854 -
Joseph Tussaud returned to London with the well-used blade of the guillotine he purchased from Clement Sanson, the last in a line of Sansons who held the office of Executioner of Paris for over 150 years.

The blade is now part of Tussaud's Wax Museum collection.


May 4, 1886 -
At Haymarket Square in Chicago, a labor demonstration for an 8-hour workday turned into a riot when a bomb exploded. Seven policemen were killed and some 60 others injured. Only one policeman was killed in the strike.



Three labor leaders were executed November 10, 1887, for the bombing. The Haymarket Affair is generally considered to have been an important influence on the origin of International May Day observances for workers.


May 4, 1891 -
Noted apiarist and amateur detective, Sherlock Holmes reportedly 'died' during a fight with master criminal (and his one time math tutor) Professor James Moriarty at Reichenbach Falls on this date.



Mr. Holmes re-appears three years later next to discuss his 'disappearance'. It has been speculated that his friend and chronicler, Dr. John H. Watson, attempted to cure Holmes of his life long addiction to cocaine and morphine during this time period.


May 4, 1954 -
An Old Man goes fishing. It was a good day to fish. He catches a fish. It was a big fish. It was a good day for the fish to die. Sharks, big sharks eat the big fish before the old man gets back to shore. The Old Man goes home to his shack and falls asleep. It was a deep sleep. He dreams about lions in Africa. They are big lions.



Ernest Hemingway won the Pulitzer Prize on this date.



So class, either Santiago is a defeated hero or an undefeated hero. Throw in references to Jesus Christ, Joe DiMaggio, the sin of pride and greed and "A man can be destroyed but not defeated" and you have your Master's Thesis.


May 4, 1970 -
28 Ohio National Guardsmen read protesting students of Kent State the riot act, but the students, as was their wont, did not disperse. So they shot them.



The Guardsmen killed four students and wounded nine others at Kent State University on this date. Neil Young later memorialized the sad incident in the song Ohio. A very odd bit of trivia: this tragic event in American history led to the formation of Devo, as Mark Mothersbaugh and Jerry Casale were both on campus and horrified by the events.


May 4, 1979 -
Margaret Thatcher was sworn in as (the first female) prime minister (PM) in Britain, on this date, and was known as the Iron Lady for her tough rhetoric.



She also served the longest continuous term in office as PM, with three consecutive terms.


May 4, 1991 -
To celebrate his father's birthday the previous day, Bing Crosby's son Dennis Crosby put a shotgun to his head, ending his life in a boarding house in California. A younger brother, Lindsay, had also killed himself with a shotgun two years earlier.



Once again, Bing must have been a lovely person.


May 4, 2001 -
After dinner at Vitello's in Studio City, film and television actor Robert Blake remembers that he left something at the restaurant. When he returns to the car, he discovers his wife, Bonny Lee Bakley Paulakis Gawron Moon Besly Brooksher Webber Telufson Wolfe Ray Blake (yes, she was married to nine other men before Blake), slumped over in the passenger seat. She had been shot in the head by person or persons unknown. Bakley later died of her injury.



One year later, Blake was charged with the murder. To the astonishment of some, he was later acquitted of the charges. It was actually suggested during the trial, by the defense, that a list of people with possible motives to kill Bonnie Lee would be longer than the Los Angeles Phone Directory. (Bakley's three children filed a civil suit against Blake asserting that he was responsible for their mother's death. On November 18, 2005, the jury found Blake liable for the wrongful death of his wife and ordered him to pay $30 million.)



And so it goes.

Wednesday, May 3, 2023

Get out your carpet beaters

Once again, it's Lumpy Rug Day.

Besides celebrating spring cleaning, today is the day one should examine old secrets and issues that you've hidden and deal with them.


May 3, 1935 -
The seventh and final collaboration between Josef von Sternberg and Marlene Dietrich, The Devil Is A Woman, co-starring Lionel Atwill, Cesar Romero, and Edward Everett Horton, premiered in NYC on this date.



In a 1971 film interview with Swedish television, her first television interview, Marlene Dietrich claimed that this was her favorite film that she had made with director Josef von Sternberg. In later years, she would go on to say that it was her all-time favorite out of all of her films.


May 3, 1944 -
Leo McCarey's popular comedy-drama, Going My Way, starring Bing Crosby and Barry Fitzgerald premiered in NYC on this date.



Although Barry Fitzgerald played a Catholic priest in this film--and several others--he was in real life not a Catholic but a Protestant. Several times during this film when he is "crossing" himself he does it wrong, going from right to left instead of from left to right.


May 3, 1947 -
Sylvester tried to have Tweety Bird for lunch for the first time in the Looney Tunes cartoon, Tweetie Pie, which premiered on this date (Yeah, yeah, I know Sylvester is called Thomas but it's Sylvester just the same. In 1948, with the cartoon Scaredy Cat, his name was changed to Sylvester, to avoid a lawsuit from MGM, the producer of Tom and Jerry cartoons.)



This is the first Warner Bros. cartoon to win the Academy Award. After this cartoon, Tweety and Sylvester would be permanently paired up until 1964.


May 3, 1958
David Seville's (Ross Bagdasarian Sr.) novelty single, Witch Doctor, unexpected went to No. 1 on the Billboard Charts, on this date. Bagdasarian was first cousin to the novelist and playwright William Saroyan.



Seville got the vocal effect by recording his voice into a tape recorder that was slowed to half speed and then playing it back at normal speed. Witch Doctor was his first song to use the technique, and at that point there were no "Chipmunks." (The squeaky voice was the witch doctor and had no physical form - Seville hadn't created the characters yet and used his own name for the recording).


May 3, 1964 -
Gerry and the Pacemakers make their US TV debut, performing Don't Let The Sun Catch You Crying on The Ed Sullivan Show on this date.



Gerry & the Pacemakers were the second group be signed by manager Brian Epstein (after The Beatles). They were part of the Merseybeat sound emanating from Liverpool, England.


May 3, 1966 -
Johnny Carson played the new party game Twister with Eva Gabor on the Tonight Show on this date.



Gabor and Carson got tied up in knots, the studio audience went hysterical and Twister went on to sell more than three million copies over the next year.


May 3, 1980 -
The Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band single Against The Wind began a six week run at No.1 on the Billboard charts on this date.



Bob Seger won the 1980 Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocal Grammy award for this song.


May 3, 1986
Robert Palmer, blue-eyed soul crooner, had his first No. #1 hit on the Billboard Charts with Addicted to Love, on this date.



The video featured Palmer singing in front of a "band" of beautiful women who looked exactly alike. They wore lots of makeup and identical clothing as they pretended to play the instruments. Elton John's lyricist Bernie Taupin makes a pretty good case that the models in the video were influenced by the song Bennie And The Jets, where he wrote about a futuristic rock band of androgynous beauties. Said Taupin: "I can't help but believe that that Robert Palmer video with all the identical models somehow paid a little lip service to The Jets."


May 3, 1991 -
CBS TV finally tired of Larry Hagman's shenanigans and scheduled the final episode of the 13 seasons running series, Dallas (which began on September 23, 1978,): Conundrum, on this dates.



Larry Hagman (J.R. Ewing), Patrick Duffy (Bobby Ewing), Ken Kercheval (Cliff Barnes), Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing) and Steve Kanaly (Ray Krebbs) are the only actors to appear in both this episode and the first episode Dallas: Digger's Daughter. Victoria Principal refused to appear in the final episode because there was a good chance the show would return the next season. She said she would only appear if she were 100% sure that the show wouldn't return.



Another job posting from The ACME Employment Agency


Today in History:
Niccolo Machiavelli was born on May 3, 1469.



Machiavelli proved that the yen justifies the beans, and is therefore reviled.


May 3, 1494 -
Columbus first sighted the island of Jamaica on this date.

He and his crew remained on the island for some time, no doubt attracted by the tropical drinks, lush golf courses, exciting night life, and parasailing, but in the end were driven away by the high prices.


May 3, 1903 -
Harry Lillis Crosby, singer, actor, reformed alcoholic, pot smoker and child beater was born on this date.



Hey, maybe Bing wasn't such an awful father. Maybe it's just coincidentally all of the stuff in his private life.


May 3, 1928 (or 1933, you can't expect the hardest working man in show business to keep track of small details like which year he was born.) -
James Brown, The Godfather of Soul, was born in Augusta, Georgia on this date.



In 1992, Brown was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Award at the 34th annual Grammy Awards.


May 3, 1937 -
A short little southern lady wrote a novel for her own amusement, and with solid support from her husband, she kept her literary efforts a secret from all her friends. She would hide the voluminous pages under towels, disguising them as a divan, or hide pages in her closets or under her bed. She wrote in a haphazard fashion, writing the last chapter first, and skipping around from chapter to chapter.



In a nutshell, her novel was about a young woman who spend nearly 400 pages chasing after a man that she realizes in the end that she never really loved and (possibly) loses the man that she really does.



It was a great surprise to Ms. Mitchell that on June 30, 1936 when her voluminous novel was published. Even more shocking, on May 3, 1937, Margaret Mitchell won the Pulitzer Prize for Gone With the Wind.


May 3, 1942 -
Executive Order 9066, signed by President Franklin D. Roosevelt on February 19, 1942, was put into effect by Lt. General John DeWitt from his headquarters in the SF Presidio on this date.

It called for the evacuation of Japanese-Americans from Los Angeles effective May 9. Some 110,000-112,000 Japanese-Americans were settled in 10 relocation camps, the first of which was in Manzanar in Owens Valley, Ca. In the Bay Area most Japanese-Americans were sent to the Tanforan racetrack where they were put up in stables and later relocated to Topaz, Utah.



Soon after, the War Relocation Authority hired Dorothea Lange, a photographer already well-known for her striking Depression-era photos of migrant workers, to document the internment process.



Lange's poignant photos reflected her disagreement with government policy and brought her into conflict with her employers.


May 3 1945 -
British torpedo bombers attack the Cap Arcona and the Thielbek in the Baltic Sea. Both vessels are flying white flags, as there are almost 7,000 concentration camp prisoners aboard. In the process of abandoning ship, the German captain of the Arcona uses a machete to hack his way through the mass of people.



When the ships sank, virtually all of the prisoners drown, making this the single largest loss of life in the history of ocean travel.

You have to marvel at the honorable naval tradition of Germany.


May 3, 1952 -
The first airplane landed at geographic North Pole on this date. It was a ski-modified U.S. Air Force C-47, piloted by Lieutenant Colonel William P. Benedict of California and Lieutenant Colonel Joseph O. Fletcher of Oklahoma.

The pilots were mum about meeting Santa Claus while at the North Pole.


May 3, 1963 -
Eugene "Bull" Connor directed security forces in Birmingham, Alabama to unleash police dogs on civil rights protesters, and then blast them with high-pressure fire hoses. Unfortunately for segregationists, television networks brought the footage to a shocked national audience on this date.



In the wake of the overwhelming public response, President Kennedy quips that Connor "has done more for civil rights than almost anybody else."


May 3, 1971 -
All Things Considered premiered on 112 National Public Radio stations on this date and marked the emergence of National Public Radio (NPR), the US national, non-commercial radio network.



Follow me, if you will - you know the joke they make about old men yelling at kids to get off of his lawn,



Well, when you start listening to NPR, you might as well start yelling at the kids.


May 3, 1973 -
Construction commenced on the Sears Tower (now known as the Willis Tower) in Chicago in August 1970 and the building reached its originally anticipated maximum height on this date. When completed on this date, the Sears Tower had overtaken the twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York City as the world's tallest building.



The tower has 108 stories as counted by standard methods, though the building owners count the main roof as 109 and the mechanical penthouse roof as 110. The distance to the roof is 1,450 feet, 7 inches. The Willis Tower was the second tallest building in the United States and the sixth-tallest freestanding structure in the world, as well as the fifth tallest building in the world to the roof. One World Trade Center is now currently the tallest building in the US.


May 3, 1991 -
Jerzy Kosinski was not having a good day. The award-winning novelist decided to end his day with a fatal dose of barbiturates and his usual rum-and-Coke. Kosinski then placed a plastic bag over his head and taped it shut around his neck, a method of suicide suggested by the Hemlock Society.

His suicide note read: I am going to put myself to sleep now for a bit longer than usual. Call it Eternity.



And so it goes.

Tuesday, May 2, 2023

Finding a little bit of joy

Ukuleles will get you through times with no money better than money will get you through time with no ukulele







Today is Play Your Ukulele Day!


Today is National Teacher Appreciation Day. National Teacher Appreciation Day is observed on the Tuesday of the first full week in May. Today day is part of Teacher Appreciation Week, which is the first full week in May of each year.



In 1944, an Arkansas teacher named Mattie Whyte Woodridge began a campaign to establish a national day that would honor teachers.

Woodridge wrote letters to politicians, education leaders, and eventually the first lady, Eleanor Roosevelt. In 1953, Mrs. Roosevelt convinced Congress to proclaim the first National Teacher Day. National Education Association describes National Teacher Dayas a day for honoring teachers and recognizing the lasting contributions they make to our lives.”


May 2, 1932 -
Walt Disney released another animated-cartoon, Mickey's Revue, on this date.



Goofy (then known as Dippy Dawg) makes his debut in this cartoon.


May 2, 1936 -
Sergei Prokofiev was commissioned by The Central Children's Theatre of Moscow to create a symphonic tale for children. Peter and the Wolf had its world premiere in Moscow on this date.



Prokofiev felt, in his own words, the work had an inauspicious opening at best: "...[attendance] was poor and failed to attract much attention."



If you listen very carefully you'd hear the duck quacking inside the wolf's belly, because the wolf in his hurry had swallowed her alive.


May 2, 1946 -
James M. Cain's excellent crime thriller, The Postman Always Rings Twice, opened on this date.



The on-set sexual tension between John Garfield and Lana Turner was clear to all involved with the film. Their first day together, he called out to her, "Hey, Lana, how's about a little quickie?" to which she replied "You bastard!"



I guess the postman does really ring twice.


May 2, 1957 -
The first color film from the Hammer studio, The Curse of Frankenstein, opened on this date.



For many years this held the distinction of being the most profitable film to be produced in England by a British studio


May 2, 1965 -
The Rolling Stones made their second appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show on this date.



The Stones performed three songs: The Last Time, Little Red Rooster, and Everybody Need Somebody To Love.


May 2, 1979 -
The film Quadrophenia, based on The Who's album and featuring Sting, premiered in London on this date



John Lydon (the former Johnny Rotten) was originally approached for the role of Jimmy and even screen-tested for the role. However the distributors refused to insure him for the part and he was replaced.


May 2, 1997 -
New Line Cinema released Jay Roach's mega-hit Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery starring Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley, and Michael York, on this date.



Mike Myers originally wanted Jim Carrey to play Dr. Evil, but Carrey eventually passed, due to scheduling conflicts with the film, Liar Liar. Myers then took the iconic role himself.


May 2, 2008 -
Jon Favreau's first dip into the marvel universe, Iron Man, starring Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges, Shaun Toub, Gwyneth Paltrow and a cameo by Stan Lee premiered in the US on this date.



Jon Favreau wanted Robert Downey Jr. because he felt the actor's past was right for the part. He commented: "The best and worst moments of Robert's life have been in the public eye. He had to find an inner balance to overcome obstacles that went far beyond his career. That's Tony Stark. Robert brings a depth that goes beyond a comic book character having trouble in high school, or can't get the girl." Favreau also felt Downey could make Stark "a likable asshole," but also depict an authentic emotional journey once he won over the audience.


Today's moment of Zen


(I'm behind schedule on some personal things, so today will be an abbreviated posting)
Today in History:
On May 2, 1729, Catherine the Great was born. More than any Russian head of state before her, she embraced a closer union with Europe.



And please people, let's stop it with all this talk about the horses - she died of a stroke while sitting on the toilet.

Let's give the woman some dignity.


May 2 1863 -
At the Battle of Chancellorsville, Confederate general Thomas J. "Stonewall" Jackson was accidentally shot three times by his own men. Jackson's left arm is amputated and Jackson died of complications of pneumonia on May 10, 1863. In his delirium, his dying words were, "Let us cross over the river and rest in the shade of the trees." His body was moved to the Governor's Mansion in Richmond for the public to mourn, and he was then moved to be buried in the Stonewall Jackson Memorial Cemetery, Lexington, Virginia. However, the arm that was amputated on May 2 was buried separately by Jackson's chaplain, at the J. Horace Lacy house, "Ellwood", in the Wilderness of Spotsylvania County, near the field hospital.



Upon hearing of Jackson's death, Robert E. Lee mourned the loss of both a friend and a trusted commander. The night Lee learned of Jackson's death, he told his cook, "William, I have lost my right arm" (deliberately in contrast to Jackson's left arm) and "I'm bleeding at the heart."


Baron Manfred von Richtofen was born on May 2, but in 1892. The World War I flying ace, better known to students of military history as the Red Baron, shot down over 80 enemy aircraft in World War I, sending dozens of handsome young men to fiery, terrible deaths and thereby earning himself a place in the Peanuts comic strip.



(Which hardly excuses Snoopy's reprehensible bloodlust. But then again, I've said this before, Snoopy was a sociopath with a multiple personality disorder.)


May 2, 1915 -
Clara Immerwahr, in 1900, was the first woman to ever receive a doctorate in Chemistry in Germany.



Her opposition of the war in Germany led her to clash with her chemist husband and German war supporter Fritz Haber. Clara took her life following an argument with her husband about his work on poison gases for the German war effort.


May 2, 1921 -
There's always some room for improvisation..



The eminent Indian film director, Satyajit Ray, was born on this date.


May 2 1946 -
Six prisoners attempt to escape the federal prison on Alcatraz island. They take over their cellblock but fail to gain access to the outside. One guard held hostage is executed by prisoners, and another dies in the attempt to retake the cellblock.



The Battle of Alcatraz ended only after the deaths of three prisoners, and two others are subsequently executed at San Quentin.

I bet there was a lot of angry after-riot prison sex that night.


May 2, 1957 -
Senator Joseph McCarthy died of hepatitis on this date, brought about by unabated alcoholism. Two and a half years prior he had been censured by the Senate for his "inexcusable" and "reprehensible" conduct during his highly-publicized Communist witch-hunt.



McCarthy eventually discovered that it was far more effective to have private industry oppress its workforce, rather than the government oppress its citizenry.


May 2 1957 -
Vincent 'the Chin' Gigante approached Mob Figure Frank Costello and shot him in the head, first shouting “This is for you, Frank,” on this date. Instead of killing him, the bullet circumnavigates between his skin and cranium, exiting through the original wound.



Costello retires from the Mafia soon thereafter.

The Mafia was practicing using 'magic' bullets.


May 2, 1972 -
World famous old paranoid drag queen and longtime G-man died in his sleep at the age of 77 on this date.



Most of Washington insiders breathe a huge sigh of relief. (During the Watergate hearings, it was subsequently revealed that the FBI had illegally protected President Richard Nixon from investigation.)


It's my friend Sharon's birthday today. And there is no truth to the rumor that she personally loaned Divine Mr. Hoover's cha-cha heels that she had purchased at a Baltimore Flea Market.



And so it goes.

Monday, May 1, 2023

All things seem possible in May

The month of May is named after Maia, a Greek goddess and mother of Hermes. Shockingly, May is the fifth month of the year in both the Gregorian and Julian calendars.

Apparently, May is also a very bad month to get married... due to Mary Queen of Scots' unfortunate history, and the fact that she got married in May. But it is a good month for U.S. Presidents. No U.S. president has ever died in the month of May, hopefully this will help Jimmy Carter make it through the month.  However, Harry S. Truman and John F. Kennedy, were born in May.



Spring is in full bloom. Tender blossoms exude their sweet fragrance as winter's bitter frosts recede. The warming air and diaphanous mists incite the passions and thoughts turn naturally to the ardor of spring - to love, rebirth, renewal, and salad.



You may not have known it, but in the United States, May is National Salad Month. By an astonishing coincidence, the second full week of May is National Herb Week. It's a time to celebrate the verdure of the earth with verdure on a plate. Or in a bowl—salad is just that versatile!



Carnivorous readers disinclined to celebrate National Salad Month can choose from any of the following celebrations, all of which last the entire month of May:

Asian Pacific American Heritage Month
National Smile Month
Digestive Diseases Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
More Than Just a Pretty Face Month


May 1, 1941 -

The young filmmaker of this film was so obsessed with his project that his habit of consuming more than 30 cups of coffee each day led him to succumb to caffeine poisoning. He switched to tea, believing that the time it took to make each cup would slow him down, but having an assistant make it for him meant that he drank so much his skin changed color.



The once universally praised movie seems to have lost a little bit of it's glow, bizarrely slipping one notch below Pattington 2 on the Rotten Tomatoes rating scale - down from a 100% score to a mere 99%.



Orson Welles’ innovative film, Citizen Kane, a film about a man's unnatural love for his sled, opened in New York City, 80 years ago on this date.



Film making was never the same.


May 1, 1957 -
The first film Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn made in color, Desk Set, premiered on this date.



This is the eighth of the nine films they starred in together. They did not make another film together (Spencer Tracey's last,) until nearly ten years later.


May 1, 1966 -
James Brown performed on the Ed Sullivan Show for the first time on this date.



Unlike most solo acts, he brings his own band, which allows him to provide the full James Brown experience, including the cape bit where he drops to his knees but is soon revived.



The Supremes also appeared on the show that evening. Besides performing the song, More, they also sang their hit, Love Is Like An Itch In My Heart.


May 1, 1972
The Eagles' first single, Take It Easy, written by Jackson Browne and Glenn Frey, was released on this date.



The Eagles played this live long before they recorded it. It was one of the songs they played when they were doing four sets a night at a club in Aspen, Colorado. By the time they recorded it, the song had more of a country feel.


May 1, 1983 -
Viewers had the pleasure of watching aliens unhinge their jaws and swallow mice when V (the miniseries), starring Marc Singer, Faye Grant, Jane Badler, Michael Durrell, Peter Nelson, and David Packer, premiered on NBC TV on this date.



The series was intended as a literal retelling of the Nazi takeover of various countries, and the resistance movement against them. However, because of the popularity of the Star Wars saga and other science fiction hits, as well as the belief among network executives that U.S. citizens would not believe a fascist takeover, the network executives had the producers change it to a science fiction miniseries. Other ideas were also discussed, but discarded.


May 1, 1999 -
The Nickelodeon animated series, SpongeBob SquarePants, created by Stephen Hillenburg, debuts on this date.



The show's creator, Stephen Hillenburg, was a marine biologist. When he pitched the show to Nickelodeon, he brought a fish tank into the boardroom, and explained what was living inside. He then placed a cartoon drawing of SpongeBob into the tank and said "This is SpongeBob, the star of your new show."


Word of the Day


Today in History:
Please rise, (or not.) Or take a knee, (or not.)



May 1 is recognized as May Day pretty much everywhere but the United States, Canada, and South Africa. Modern May Day celebrations throughout the world typically feature huge outdoor gatherings of people, brightly colored signs and banners, and a whole lot of tear gas.



The holiday has its root in the American labor movement of the 1880s, specifically the Haymarket tragedy of 1886. Depending on whom you ask, the Haymarket tragedy was either caused by overzealous cops with way too many guns, or overzealous anarchists with way too many bombs (i.e., one).

Actually, it no longer matters whom you ask, because all eyewitnesses would give you pretty much the same answer (i.e., none—they're dead).



Either way, nervous, well-armed cops and edgy, bomb-throwing anarchists are not a combination one encounters often in the annals of the Nobel Peace Prize. As a result, Americans ignore May Day and instead celebrate Labor Day, which features plenty of beer and barbecues and very little tear gas.



We may be complacent, but dammit, we know what to do with a steak.


May 1, 1776 -
The Illuminati, modeled on the Freemasons, and formed to promote logic, science, and reason as opposed to any kind of tradition or dogma, was founded on this date.



The group was almost immediately outlawed when people got the idea that it was trying to infiltrate governments, and has been a staple of conspiracy theorists ever since.

But don't tell anyone you heard it from me.


May 1, 1851
Queen Victoria opens the Great Exhibition at the Crystal Palace at Hyde Park in London, on this date. It was the first in a series of World's Fairs, exhibitions of culture and industry that became popular in the 19th century.



The Great Exhibition had 13,500 exhibitions and constituted at its time the largest assembly of people collected together for one purpose. Included was Britain’s first public toilets (“monkey closets”). Over 800,000 excited people spent a penny there.


May 1, 1888 -
Nikola Tesla received several patents relating to the alternating current (AC) synchronous motor, alternating current (AC) transmission, induction magnetic motor, and an electricity distribution system on this date. (US Nos. 381,968-70; 382,279-82)

He would later sell the rights to his rotating field motor to George Westinghouse.


May 1, 1915 -
A thoughtful German government took out advertisements warning anyone on ships flying British flags that they did so at their own risk.

That very day, the ocean liner Lusitania left New York, flying a British flag.



They bought their tickets, they took their chances.


May 1, 1930 -
The on again/ off again planet Pluto was officially named on this date. The name was suggest by an eleven year-old girl named Venetia Burney from Oxford, England.



The name was selected from three suggestions by a unanimous vote of the members of the Lowell Observatory. The other two possible names were “Cronus” and “Minerva.”

Hang on Venetia, it still may be a planet.


May 1, 1931 -

The Empire State Building in New York City was dedicated by President Hoover from the White House in Washington DC where he pressed a button that switched on the lights. The 102 story skyscraper, at the corner of Fifth Avenue and 34th Street in New York City, was the first higher than 1,250 feet. (I can see it just down the street from my apartment.)



Excavation had begun in January 1930, construction commenced in two months later, and its cornerstone was laid in September 1930. The steel framework rose at a rate of 4-1/2 stories per week. The building's construction was completed in a phenomenal one year and 45 days.





It reigned as the world's tallest skyscraper until 1954, but it still remains an icon for all things New York.


May 1, 1947
Unfortunately, Evelyn McHale leapt to her death from the observation deck of the Empire State Building and landed on a limousine, on this date.

A photography student named Robert Wiles took a picture of McHale minutes after her death. The photograph was published in Life magazine and the picture has left her known as 'The Most Beautiful Suicide'.


May 1, 1969 -
Fred Rogers, host of the longtime children's television landmark Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, appeared in Washington before the Senate Subcommittee on Communications, on this date, to express his disagreement with a proposal by President Richard Nixon to cut federal funding for public broadcasting from $20 million to $10 million.



More than forty years later, Fred Rogers’ compelling words about the power of television to help children grow up, dealing sensibly and humanely with others even when they are feeling angry, still resonate in living rooms, school rooms, and neighborhoods nationwide.


May 1, 2003 -
President Bush announced that "major combat operations in Iraq" were over in a speech (commonly known as the "Mission Accomplished" speech) on the USS Abraham Lincoln on this day.



The speech sparked a lot of controversy in the following months as guerrilla operations continued in Iraq as the vast majority of casualties, both military and civilian, occurred after the speech..



Coincidentally, on May 1, 2011, exactly eight years after the speech, President Barack Obama announced that U.S. Navy SEALs had killed al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden in Pakistan.



And so it goes.