Summer's last messenger of misery, is a hollow actor.

The festival of Lammas marks the beginning of the harvest, when people go to church to give thanks for the first grain to be cut.

This is the long way of saying that it's August again.

How did a single month become so important? Like almost everything else that's difficult to understand, the history of August begins in Ancient Rome.

The Roman calendar was a hot mess. Not just because there were VII days in a week and XXVIII days in a month, but also because the calendar was being managed by a high priest. In 46 BC, for example, autumn began in January. This irritated Julius Caesar, who demanded that the calendar be reformed to make sense - and that the priests assigned to manage it, stop getting high.



Caesar's new calendar went into effect on January 1, 45 BC. The fifth month of the year, Quintilis, which had actually been the seventh month of the year, was renamed July - short for Julius - in honor of his work on the calendar. (Calendar professionals still refer to July as the "Caesarian section.")

Years later, after Caesar's grand-nephew defeated Mark Anthony and Cleopatra and became emperor of Rome, the Senate decided to name a month after him. They chose the month of Sextillus, the sixth month (and therefore eighth), and renamed it Gaius Octavius. Fortunately the Emperor renamed himself Augustus before any calendars had been printed.

The Emperor was not entirely pleased. His month had only 30 days, whereas his grand-uncle's had 31. The Senate immediately added another day to August, removing it from February in the hope of losing one day of winter to gain one of summer.



Remember to celebrate responsibly the following, this month;

Brownies at Brunch Month   
National Peach Month  
Pink Toenail Month  
Clown Month  
International Left-handed Month  
Eye Exam Month 
Family Meal Month  


August 1, 1931 -
F.W. Murnau's last film (he died in a car accident a few days after starting work on the music for the film), Tabu: A Story of the South Seas, was released on this date.



The film's cinematographer was Floyd Crosby, David Crosby's dad. Crosby won the 1931 Academy Award for Best Cinematography for his work on the film.


August 1, 1952 -
Jo Stafford, pop star singer during the 1940s and 1950s, entered the Billboard charts with the song You Belong To Me on this date.



In the '30s, she performed with her sisters as The Stafford Sisters and later sang with Tommy Dorsey. She was one of the first artists to record parody versions of hit songs, and was known for her work with the USO where she entertained the troops. She died on July 16, 2008 at age 90.


August 1, 1971 -
George Harrison presented his two Concerts For Bangladesh at Madison Square Garden in New York City, on this date.



Among the featured artists were Eric Clapton, Bob Dylan, Ringo Starr and Leon Russell. The concert raised $243,418.51 for Bangladesh relief, which was administered by UNICEF. Sales of the album and DVD continue to benefit the George Harrison Fund for UNICEF.


August 1, 1971 -
The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour debuts on CBS television as a summer replacement show, on this date.



And Cher will outlive us all.


August 1, 1973 -
Universal premiered George Lucas ode to early 1960s, American Graffiti, starring Richard Dreyfuss, Ron Howard, Paul Le Mat, Harrison Ford, Charles Martin Smith, Cindy Williams, Candy Clark and Mackenzie Phillips, on this date.



The film was shot in sequence, so as filming went on and the actors grew tired from the shooting schedule, the characters they played would also look more and more tired as the night went on.


Just another day in NYC


Today in History:
August 1, 30 BC (again, this date is not fixed in stone; the annual calendar makers orgy and dinner dance was held on this date as well) -
Mark Antony, (not the not so handsome ex-husband of J-Lo but) lover of the Egyptian queen Cleopatra VII and claimant to the Roman throne, was the most interesting man of his age (think the Dos X man and the Old Spice guy - Isaiah Mustafa and not Fabio.) Mark Antony came from a very well to do family but ran with the very fast crowd of Rome. By the time he was 20, Antony had to flee Rome (for Greece) to escape his creditors (he had run up $5 million in debt) and the scandal involving his long-term relationship with the son of the Consul of Rome.

Mark Antony joined the army and joined the staff of his distant relative Julius Caesar. His fortunes, literally changed and Antony expected to be named the heir to Rome after the assassination of Julius Caesar, but had not counted on Caesar naming his adopted son and grand-nephew Octavian as his successor.



Shaken by his loss at Actium, abandoned by his allies and faced with certain defeat at the hands of his rival Octavian, Mark Antony committed suicide by falling upon his own sword on this date. Cleopatra followed him in death shortly afterward when she allowed herself to be bitten by a venomous asp.

An interesting fact you can drop at the next cocktail party you attend, through his youngest daughters, Mark Antony became the ancestor of most of the Emperors of the Julio-Claudian dynasty, Octavian's (Augustus') family.


August 1, 1589 -
King Henri III of France was assassinated by a crazy Jacobin monk, Jacques Clement, who plunged a knife into the lower part of his body, on this date.

Among his crimes are opposing the Catholic League, and his love of...vigorous sodomy (or so it is rumored.)


August 1, 1769 -
Spain sent an exploratory expedition from San Diego to Monterey to survey the area and identify places worth sending more people to become Catholic. The expedition was led by Gaspar de Portola, nephew of the celebrated Spanish comedian Uncle Porky, and included a number of religious missionaries assigned to imposing afternoon naps upon the heathens.

Camping on some fertile ground beside a river on August 2, Father Juan Crespi suggested they name the river El Rio de Padre Juan Crespi. As the laughter subsided, he suggested El Rio de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula, (The River of Our Lady the Queen of the Angels of Uncle Porky.) It was agreed, and the merry band continued on their way.



Twelve years later Mexico's Spanish Governor, Felipe de Neve, began dispatching settlers to establish pueblos in the name of the Spanish King. These settlers were called "Los Pobladores" on account of their penchant for Poblas. One such group, led by Captain Rivera y Moncada, settled in the area by the previously mentioned river. They named their new community "Our Pueblo by the River of Our Lady of the Angels of Uncle Porky."

The settlement grew, and came to be known as "The City by the Pueblo by the River of Our Lady of the Angels of Uncle Porky."

In 1822, Mexico took California from Spain. In 1846, following two years of hostilities, the United States took it from Mexico. Many Americans were injured attempting to pronounce the name of El Ciudad del Pueblo del Rio de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula, which they therefore renamed Los Angeles in 1850.

California was admitted to the Union later that year.



Los Angeles retained that name until the middle of the last century, when even that became too difficult for most American tongues, at which point it finally became L.A.


In Wiltshire, England, on August 1, 1774 Joseph Priestley focused sunlight through a lens in order to heat a sample of mercuric oxide (red calx). The resulting gas supported the burning of a candle with a vigorous flame, was essentially insoluble in water, and accommodated a mouse under glass for some time. And that's how Oxygen was born.



Priestley called his new gas "dephlogisticated air.” His discovery came at a very good time, people were getting very tired from holding their breathe all these years.


August 1, 1793 -
The kilogram first appeared in France. Developed by priests and scientists, the kilogram flourished as soon as it was released into the wild and can now be found thriving throughout the world.

The kilogram can be found in parts of the United States, but has encountered too many indigenous predators to establish dominance.


August 1, 1936 -
Adolf Hitler presides over the opening ceremony of the Olympics on this date. The Chancellor of Germany announces: "I proclaim the games of Berlin, celebrating the eleventh Olympiad of the modern era, to be open," (except he said it originally in German.)



The whole thing makes for a great film by Leni Riefenstahl and the torch relay was introduced by Joseph Geobbel’s Propaganda Ministry.


August 1, 1944 -
I keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would like to be, and what I could be, if...there weren't any other people living in the world

Anne Frank penned her last entry into her diary on this date.

Three days later, Anne and her family were arrested and sent to Nazi concentration camps. Anne died at Bergen-Belsen concentration camp in 1945 at age 15.


August 1, 1961 -
Six Flags Over Texas, the first park of the Six Flags chain opened on this date.



Located on 212 acres in Arlington, Texas, the park was developed around a theme - the history of Texas. The park was the first to feature log flume and mine train rides.


August 1, 1981 -
MTV launched 38 years ago today, starting with the video, Video Killed the Radio Star by The Buggles followed by Pat Benatar's You Better Run. Western civilization has been on a rapid decline ever since.



Since I have long aged out of their demographics, I realize that I no longer need to care about MTV's success - it can crash and burn for all I care.



And so it goes. 


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