Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Maybe you could slip in some steamed vegetables

It's the third night of Hanukkah -

Move on to the donuts.

I believe some of you are really going to need an old lady in church, saying the rosaries on a Tuesday afternoon to explain this one to you:

December 8, 1854 -
Pius IX promulgates the doctrine of Immaculate Conception - the Virgin Mary is free from original sin (and not the other thing some of you think.)

Later, she achieves permanent fame when despite of her marriage, she gets knocked up by God.

December 8, 1952 -
In some weird cosmic irony, the episode Lucy Is Enceinte first aired on CBS-TV ("enceinte" being French for "expecting" or "pregnant") on this date.

CBS would not allow I Love Lucy to use the word "pregnant", so "expecting" was used instead.

The Canadian postal service has been giving Jolly Old St. Nicholas a helping hand. For more than 34 years, Canada Post has been helping Santa with his huge holiday volume of mail. Thanks to Canada Post's Santa Letter-writing Program, children can write to the jolly old fellow in virtually any language, including Braille, and receive a response in the same language.

Santa's correct address happens to be:

Santa Claus
North Pole H0H 0H0

(Please note the zip code)

Or you can get an e-mail from Santa at - Santa's corner. You better hurry though, Christmas is just around the corner (and if you are a kid - what the heck are you doing reading this blog, it's not appropriate for  you.  Although you could go into your parents room while they are sleeping and fill an envelope with those green pieces of paper in their wallets and send it to me at ...)

Today's holiday special - chocolate gelt vs. fruitcake

Today in History:
Henry Laurens, the Fifth President of the Continental Congress, became the first person to be formally cremated in the U.S. in 1792 on this date.

Things would have gone on in a more dignified manner if Mr Laurens was deceased at the time (just kidding - he was quite dead, especially after the cremation.)

December 8, 1793 -
Mme. du Barry, mistress of Louis XV, did not go quietly to that good death. On the way to the guillotine she continually collapsed in the tumbrel and cried "You are going to hurt me! Why?!" She became quite hysterical during her execution: "She screamed, she begged mercy of the horrible crowd that stood around the scaffold, she aroused them to such a point that the executioner grew anxious and hastened to complete his task."

Her last words to the executioner: "Encore un moment, monsieur le bourreau, un petit moment," (One moment more, executioner, one little moment) were her most famous.

How insensitive of her to be such a pain.

December 8, 1961 -
Conservative columnist Ann Coulter, was spawned on this day (Think the movie, Splice).

Let us remember that this woman suggested that ... ISIS was not at our doorstep but illegal immigrants were not only at our doorstep, but millions of them are already through the door, murdering far more Americans than ISIS ever will.

December 8, 1963 -
Frank Sinatra Jr. was kidnapped at Harrah's Lake Tahoe, Nevada on this date. After Frank Sinatra paid the $240,000.00 random, Jr. was set free a few days later. It has always been speculated that Sinatra, Jr. cooperated with his abductors in their plot.

Frank Sr. was not happy. As punishment Frank Jr. was forced to become a fat, dumpy, bald headed guy who had to conduct the big band for Frank Sr. and all was well.

December 8, 1980 -
John Lennon was shot by a lunatic, Mark David Chapman, outside Lennon's apartment in New York City mere hours after receiving the Beatle's autograph.

Chapman was carrying around his dog eared copy of, Catcher in the Rye.

For those of you who remember the book, I leave it to you to draw any conclusions.

December 8, 1982 -
Norman D. Mayer barricaded himself inside the Washington Monument and threatens to blow it up unless all nuclear weapons are dismantled. He was shot by police after 10 hours.

That's what you get for sticking up the largest prick in DC.

And so it goes

No comments: