Monday, November 19, 2012

Thanksgiving prep tip #1

If you bought the frozen corpse of a bird for your feast, begin thawing it out now in the bottom of your refrigerator.

That puppy's probably colder than Walt Disney and needs three days to come around (Yes, I know Walt was cremated.)

November 19, 1959 -
The first episode of Rocky & His Friends aired on this date.

Many of you know this famous line, Hey Rocky want to see me pull a rabbit out of my hat? But what you probably don't know is the line was originally, Hey Rocky, want to see me pull a hamster out of my ass?

TV censors were not amused.

November 19, 1975 -
One of Jack Nicholson's greatest performances, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, opened in the US on this date.

Louise Fletcher was signed a week before filming began, after auditioning repeatedly over six months; director Milos Forman had told her each time that she just wasn't approaching the part correctly, but kept calling her back.

November 19, 1980 -
It fails so completely that you might suspect Mr. Cimino sold his soul to obtain the success of The Deer Hunter and the Devil has just come around to collect. - Vincent Canby

Michael Cimino's 'tainted masterpiece', Heaven's Gate premiered on this date.

At one point during filming, Michael Cimino decided that the spacing of the buildings on one of the sets didn't look right, despite it having been built to his exact specifications. He ordered both sides of the street razed and rebuilt, at a cost of $1.2 million over the objections of his crew, who reasoned that it would be easier and cheaper to knock down one side of the street and rebuild it twice as far away.

Today in History:
November 19, 1581 -
Russian Czar Ivan The Terrible killed his son, Ivan The Merely Petulant on this date. The younger Ivan interrupted the elder Ivan, who was beating Ivan Jr's pregnant wife because of her inappropriate garb. Still in a fit of rage, dad smote his son with a staff, killing him dead.

This is what passed for family life amongst the Royals in the Middle Ages in Russia.

November 19, 1620 -
A group of maniacal religious fanatics reached North America and stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock on this date. Because America did not yet have a Puritan Government, they developed the Mayflower Compact while still at sea. (William Bradford had argued for a Sporty Coupe, but the more practical John Alden had carried the day.)

Eventually the descendants of these frugal and passionately religious people would invent apps that enable the downloading of pornography to your smart phones around the world at light speed.

November 19, 1703 -
The Man in the Iron Mask died in the Bastille on this date.

He was a prisoner of Louis XIV, forced to wear a black velvet mask, and his identity has never been revealed.

Seven score and nine years ago today (November 19, 1863) -
President Abraham Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg Address on this date.

The speech remains an important part of American history on account of its having been written on the back of an envelope despite stringent postal requirements that addresses be printed clearly on the front.

November 19, 1954 -
Driving to Los Angeles, Sammy Davis, Jr. was in a serious automobile accident in San Bernardino on this date.

He lost his left eye, but the resultant publicity greatly accelerated his career.

November 19, 1961 -
Michael Rockefeller, 23 year old son of New York Governor Nelson Rockefeller (later Vice President), was last seen while searching for Asmat wood carvings in the jungles near Atsj, Papua New Guinea on this date.

He was probably eaten by the Asmat. Hence the motto, "Eat the Rich".

35 more shopping days until Christmas, 18 more shopping days until Hanukkah, Black Friday is just 5 days away and the world may just be over in 31 days.

And so it goes

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