Lest we forget

While we watch the inauguration of the 44th President of the United States, let's take a quick look back at the 43rd - not in anger but appreciation for what he has accomplished:



1.) No other major terrorist attack since 911.



2.) Cat and dogs have not reared up on their hind legs and intermarried.



3.) We have not been invaded by Martians.



4.) Tupak, although dead has been allowed to produce and release several albums.

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5.) Celine Dion has been more or less successfully contained in the Las Vegas vicinity.



6.) Speaking of Las Vegas, due to a ban on Nuclear (go ahead admit it, you're going to miss how he says NUCLEAR) tests, 50 foot Women are no longer on the prowl in the Southwest.



7.) Ditto for Helmet wearing gorillas.



8.) Reports of women being molested and eaten by carpet remnants are way down.



9.) The US Men Gymnastics team was never beaten by a Giant Japanese Turtle.




10.) Although Jay Leno has 'retired' (forced off) the Tonight Show; he somehow will appear every night at 10 PM on NBC.



So I say, thank you George Bush, America salutes you.


Here is your Today in History -

Jimmy Naismith was born in Ramsay township in Ontario, Canada in 1861. He grew up and eventually went to McGill University in Montreal. He became their Athletic Director and in 1891 he moved to Springfield, Massachusetts, to take a post at the YMCA Training School. It was there that he was confronted with the problem of developing a game that could be played indoors and in relatively little space.



On January 20, 1892, with only two peach baskets, a soccer ball, and a hand-written list of 13 rules, Dr. Naismith oversaw the world's first full game of a brand new sport, a sport that took its name from the peach baskets and soccer ball used to play it.



He had finally invented peach soccer (as opposed to Peachbasket - see January 15.)


January 20, 1936 -
King George V of England is euthanized with injections of cocaine and morphine, after a painful cancer illness. His final words, a mumbled "God damn you!", were addressed to his nurse when she gave him a sedative before his final lethal injection. His physician was motivated not only to ameliorate the king's suffering, but also to break the story in the morning edition of the newspapers, "rather than the less appropriate evening journals." Remember kids - Promptness is the politeness of kings.



At the procession to George's Lying in State in Westminster Hall, as the cortege turned into New Palace Yard, the Maltese Cross fell from the Imperial Crown and landed in the gutter. The new King, Edward VIII, saw it fall and wondered whether this was a bad omen for his new reign. He would abdicate before the year was out.


January 20, 1946 -
David Keith Lynch, director, screenwriter, producer, painter, cartoonist, composer, video and performance artist, was born on this date.


















What a slacker.

January 20, 1956 -
Bill Maher, actor, comedian, political analyst and professional Bush despiser, was born on this date.



Hopefully he'll get a new hobby (like pot smoking.)


January 20, 1982 -
Rock musician Ozzy Osbourne is hospitalized in Des Moines IA after he bites the head off of a dead bat. The bat was tossed on stage by a fan during a live performance.



Oh, so that explains everything.



And so it goes.