Today in History
Those boots must be made for endurance walking, Nancy Sinatra is (it would be impolite to say how old she is) today.
June 8, 632 -
The prophet Mohammed died on this date. He was the founder of Islam, and his death was the first in a long chain of events that ultimately resulted in the Treaty of Tordesillas. Whether he is at this very moment reclining on a soft couch somewhere in Paradise, being serviced by a high-bosomed virgin with dark eyes or consuming a handful of raisins is debatable. And if you think I'm going to post a picture of the Prophet, you've got another thing coming.
June 8 1869 -
Ives W. McGaffey of Chicago patented his "sweeping machine," the first suction vacuum cleaner, on this date, suggesting that Chicago was famous for sucking long before the emergence of the Cubs.
June 8, 1986 -
Former UN Secretary General and Nazi war criminal Kurt Waldheim is elected president of Austria. One year later, the U.S. Justice Department places him on a watch list of undesirable aliens, making Waldheim the first foreign head of state legally forbidden from visiting America. I believe many in the Bush administration have studied his, "I have no recollection of being a Nazi" defense.
June 8, 1998 -
The President of Nigeria, general Sani Abacha, dies of apparent heart failure during a Viagra-driven romp with three Indian whores. Abacha is quickly buried the following day without an autopsy or even a state funeral, fueling speculation that the general may have been poisoned by political rivals. Abacha stole more than $4 billion during his five years as dictator, and his widow Maryam is captured shortly thereafter attempting to flee the country with 30 suitcases full of American currency. Doctors have speculated that the late dictator's erection has just about subsided.
June 8, 1999 -
The government of Colombia announces that it will include the estimated value of its illegal drug crops, exceeding half a billion dollars, when calculating its Gross National Product.
And so it goes.
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