They were as naughty as sin

March 31, 1930 -
The Motion Pictures Production Code (popularly known as the Hays Code after its creator Will H.Hays) is instituted, imposing strict guidelines on the treatment of sex, crime, religion and violence in film for the next 38 years



While the Code to Govern the Making of Talking, Synchronized and Silent Motion Pictures was published in 1930, it was not rigidly enforced until 1934 following more threats of censorship by the Federal Government and the widespread threats of Catholic boycotts of immoral movies. The studios granted MPPDA full authority to enforce the Production Code on all studios.


March 31, 1943 -
Ronald Walken, possibly the most imitated actor in America, was born on this date.



In his almost 40 years career in film, he has acted in well over 90 films. He rarely turns down a part, under the belief that making movies (whether they turn out good or bad) is always a rewarding experience.


March 31, 1953 -
Stanley Kubrick's first feature film, a war drama titled Fear and Desire, premiered in New York on this date.



Stanley Kubrick disowned the film soon after it's release and wanted to make sure it was never seen again by not re-releasing the print. What he didn't know was that Kodak when making the print had a policy of making an extra print for their archives.


March 31, 1957 -
The original version of Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella, starring Julie Andrews, aired live in color on CBS on this date (only black-and-white kinescopes exist today.)



The only production of the Rodgers and Hammerstein version to be telecast while Oscar Hammerstein was still alive. He died in 1960, five years before the second television production of the musical was telecast.


March 31, 1975 -
The TV show Gunsmoke, which premiered in 1955, aired its last original episode on this date.



The show was canceled in September of the previous year. According to James Arness, the cancellation caught them by surprise. The cast and crew were expecting the series to go at least three more years.


March 31, 1983 -
All good things must come to an end: the sixth and final Monty Python film featuring all six member of the troupe before Graham Chapman's death in 1989, Monty Python's The Meaning of Life premiered in the US on this date.



Monty Python refused to show Universal Studios a movie script, figuring, as Eric Idle said, "If we couldn't work out how to make a Monty Python film, they couldn't tell us." Instead they showed them a poem, which was a summary of this movie, and a budget projection. "And to their credit," says Idle, "they paid for the film on that." Idle recites the poem on the DVD version of the movie.


March 31, 1987 –
20 minutes into the future, US network television’s very first cyberpunk series, Max Headroom premiered on ABC-TV, on this date.



The futuristic graphics used on the show were created by a top-of-the-line computer of 1987, a Commodore Amiga.


March 31, 1994 -
Madonna appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman on this date. She dropped the f-bomb more than a dozen times, exchanged less- than-friendly barbs with Dave and then stubbornly refused to leave the set.



This made the episode the most censored in American network television talk-show history; it also resulted in some of the highest ratings of Letterman's late-night career.



The extra credit question, who was the musical guest that evening? - Counting Crows.


March 31, 1999 -
The Wachowskis', (formerly known as The Wachowski Brothers,) groundbreaking sci-fi action thriller, The Matrix, starring Keanu Reeves, Carrie Anne Moss and Laurence Fishburne, premiered on this date.



Laurence Fishburne stated that once he read the script, he did not understand why other people found it confusing. However, he had a doubt if the movie would ever be made, because it was "so smart".


March 31, 2000 -
Stephen Frears' adaptation of Nick Hornsby novel, High Fidelity, starring John Cusack, Jack Black, Lisa Bonet, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Joan Cusack, and Tim Robbins and featuring a cameo by Bruce Springsteen, went into general release in the US on this date.



John Cusack and the screenwriters wrote the script with Jack Black in mind for the role of Barry. He nearly turned the role down, but reconsidered.


Another failed ACME Product


Today in History:
March 31 1492 - (This tidbit is brought to you by Cerveza Alhambra - the Irony of Bottled Beer!)
With the issuance of the Alhambra Decree on this date, King Ferdinand and Queen Isabel expel all of the Jews from Spain, except those willing to convert to Christianity. Even with the infusions of gold and silver arriving during the 16th century from the Americas, this is an act from which Spain never recovered.

By expelling their merchant and banking class, Jews and Muslims, the country was left ill-equipped to process the new wealth, which ultimately winds up in the coffers of other countries and squandered on disastrous military campaigns.

I guess that didn't quite go the way they had planned.


March 31, 1811 -
Robert Bunsen, whose name we associate with the burner, was a 19th-century German chemist of some renown, was born on this date. He worked on explosive organic arsenic compounds--leading to the loss of one eye--and, later, on gases from volcanoes, geysers and blast furnaces.



With Gustav Kirchhoff, he contributed to our understanding of the meaning of spectra lines. (He also gained note for not bathing--one woman of polite society remarked that Bunsen was so charming that she would like to kiss him, but she would have to wash him first.)


March 31, 1889 -
French engineer Gustave Eiffel unfurled the French tricolor from atop the Eiffel Tower, officially marking its completion on this date, but its history dates back to Gallic times.



Documents that have been carbon-dated to roughly 200 B.C. indicate that King Catatonix of the Hellatians decreed, for no apparent reason, the construction of a big tower on the very site where the Eiffel Tower can be found today.

In Caesar’s Reflections on the Garlic Wars, the Roman general reminisces on having found “a curious wooden tower, tall and strange.” Baffled by this peculiar cultural monolith, and never happy to be baffled, he burned it to the ground.

Some four centuries later, with the western Roman Empire in collapse, wild-eyed Gallic nationalists rebuilt the tower using cheese instead of wood. They called it La Grande Fromage, from which we get the expression, The Big Cheese.

During subsequent invasions by and entanglements with Normans, Saxons, Angles, Ostrogoths, Visigoths, and Lolligoths, the Tower was repeatedly destroyed and rebuilt, always for no apparent reason. It had become a sort of habit by now, a national obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Rene Descartes was born on March 31, 1596. Descartes said that he existed because he thought, and although he said it in Latin everyone still had to admit that it looked like Reason had finally entered the world.



Therefore the Franks (who now called themselves the French, primarily to irritate Germany) lost interest in the tower, and at last abandoned the effort.

Unfortunately, in 1870 German chancellor Otto von Bismarck defeated the French army in a Sedan and laid siege to Paris. This made the French lose their heads (see also the French Revolution). They forgot all about Reason and made Gustave Eiffel build a Tower, this time using steel, which was stronger than cheese and not quite as flammable as wood. It stands to this day, a proud monument French culture, without which we would not have Champagne, Camembert, Brigitte Bardot, or Marcel Proust.


Crayons have been around for 118 years. The Crayola brand was born in 1903 when cousins Edwin Binney and C. Harold Smith released the their first crayon box with its eight-count box that was sold for only a nickel. March 31 marks National Crayon Day.



The average child will go through hundreds of crayons in a decade. Apparently, according to the intraweb, the unique smell of crayolas is created in large part by stearic acid, which is a derivative of beef tallow—more commonly known as beef fat. The ingredient is used to deliver a waxy consistency.

Who knew?


March 31, 1927 -
César Chávez, the civil rights hero and labor leader of one of the most abused and exploited groups in America, was born on this date.



He co-founded the National Farm Workers Association in 1962 to help migrant workers—and like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr., was a spiritual figure and crusader for nonviolent social change, using peaceful tactics such as fasts, boycotts, strikes and pilgrimages. When he died in 1993, at age 66, more than 50,000 marched in his funeral under a hot California sun.


March 31, 1948 -
The US Congress passed the Marshall Plan to rebuild war-torn Europe after World War II, on this date.



Recognizing the need for economic stability on the continent, former Army Chief of Staff George Marshall responded to the high unemployment and food shortages with an initiative that provided $13 billion in aid to 18 European countries, and gave each country a role in creating its own plans for recovery.


March 31, 1959 -
The Dalai Lama was forced to leave Tibet, after the Red Communists (Evil Bastards) make it very unpleasant for him to stay, on this date.



He accuses the Chinese of making genocide against the Tibetan people, by systematic destruction of Tibetan culture and execution of thousands of prominent citizens (At the rate I'm going, I'll be lucky to get takeout delivered to my house.)


March 31, 1967 -
At the Finsbury Park Astoria Theatre in London, Jimi Hendrix sets fire to his guitar for the first time, and goes to the hospital after the show with minor burns.



Hendrix didn't set any more guitars literally on fire on that tour, although he would repeat the stunt during his band's legendary performance at the Monterey International Pop Music Festival a few months later.


March 31, 1968 -
In a televised speech to the nation on this date, President Lyndon B. Johnson announced a partial halt of bombing missions over North Vietnam and proposed peace talks.



Citing national divisions over the war in Vietnam, President Johnson also announced that he would not run for re-election. The stock market soared the next day.


March 31, 1995 -
The president of the Selena Fan Club, Yolanda Saldivar, killed the Tejano music popstar Selena in Corpus Christi, TX. "It just went off, I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to kill anybody".



That might be true, but the jury did not believe her.

Remember folks, never let a crazy fan with a gun license and bad credit be the head of your fan club.



And so it goes.

White Death - WWII's most accurate snipper

A Finnish sniper named Simo Häyhä was able to kill around 500 Soviet soldiers in the Winter War of 1939 by literally hiding in the snow and taking random shots every couple hours.



In March 1940 he was struck in the jaw by an explosive bullet and seriously wounded. He was very disfigured, unconcious, and presumed dead when he was found, and later he was thrown onto a pile of bodies. A fellow soldier noticed a leg twitching in the pile and they brought him home alive. After many surgeries, Simo, although severely disfigured, recovered from his injury. He was awarded the Cross of Liberty and Medal of Liberty. He lived to be 96.


March 30, 1964 -
What game show is celebrating its' 57th anniversary on this date? Pens down.



Merv Griffin's game show Jeopardy! made its debut on television. He sold the rights for the show to Coca-Cola for $250 million in 1986. The show was hosted by Art Fleming until 1975. It resurfaced in syndication in 1984 with Alex Trebek as host.



(Imagine the contestants fighting to play Celestical Jeopardy with Alex Trebek now.)


March 30, 1966 -
Barbra Streisand's second television special, Color Me Barbra aired on CBS-TV, on this date.



The concert was one of the first to be filmed in color. The technology was so new that when two of the three cameras broke immediately prior to the show, there were no parts available to repair them.


March 30, 1967 -
The Beatles visited Michael Cooper's London photographic studio on this date and shot the most iconic album cover ever created.



The cover of Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band was designed by Peter Blake and put together by Peter Blake and Jann Haworth, who painstakingly combed through hundreds of photos for months before the photo shoot. (Kids, remember, this was all done before Photoshop.)


March 30, 1981 -
Hugh Hudson's historical drama about the 1924 Olympics, Chariots of Fire, starring Ben Cross and Ian Charleson premiered in London on this date.



In real life, Lord David Bughley (Lord Lindsay in this movie) was the first man to do the Great Court Run, not Harold Abrahams. It was changed because producer David Puttnam was a Socialist, and did not want to show a Lord winning. It's one reason Lord Burghley did not allow his name to be used in the movie.


Word of the Day


Today in History:
March 30, 315 -
The Donation of Constantine grants to the See of Rome dominion over all earthly thrones of Europe, a document made by the Roman Emperor Constantine I after his conversion to Christianity in return for being cured from leprosy (it was the least he could do after avoiding his nose falling off his face).



But in 1440, anachronisms in the document prove that it was really a fraud written around 752 AD, during the reign of and under orders of Pope Stephen II and the Frankish king Charlemagne (more about him later).


March 30 1282 -
After vespers on Easter Monday, a French sergeant named Drouet touched the breast of a young Sicilian bride, causing an outrage that precipitated the slaughter of perhaps 2,000 Frenchmen living and ruling over Sicily.

Lesson here: don't cop a feel of someone else wife after church, especially if they're Sicilian.



One of Giuseppe Verdi's (Joe Green) most musically acclaimed operas, Les Vêpres Siciliennes is based on this conflict.


March 30, 1840 -
Alvanley, who’s your fat friend?.



George Bryan Beau Brummell, English dandy and former favorite of the prince regent, died of syphilis in a French lunatic asylum for paupers (I hate when that happens.)


March 30, 1853 -
Vincent Van Gogh was born on this date. Exactly 134 years later to the very day, his painting Sunflowers sold for $39.7 million.



Van Gogh’s life was full of such eary coincidences.


March 30, 1856 -
(In case this comes up) Russia signed the Treaty of Paris ending the Crimean War on this date. It guaranteed the integrity of Ottoman Turkey and obliged Russia to surrender southern Bessarabia, at the mouth of the Danube.



The Black Sea was neutralized, and the Danube River was opened to the shipping of all nations.


March 30, 1858 -
Hymen Lipman was granted a patent (U.S. patent No. 19,783) for creating the first wood-cased pencil with an attached rubber eraser, revolutionizing classrooms and art studios alike.



Unfortunately, the patent was later revoked by the Supreme Court when it was challenged by a German firm, Faber-Castell, that attached the eraser using a metal ferrule. Lipman invented neither the pencil nor the eraser, he simply combined the two so the invention was considered invalid.

So now you know.


March 30, 1863 -
OK kids, it's your favorite topic - life among the those wacky inbred royals.

Danish prince Wilhelm Georg was chosen as King George of Greece on this date.

King George I is the great-grandfather of Prince Philip, yes that gadabout Greek sailor who lives in London. Kids, now follow this: Philip and his lovely wife Elizabeth are second cousins once removed: they are both descended from Christian IX of Denmark - Elizabeth II is a great-granddaughter through her paternal great-grandmother Alexandra of Denmark, and the Duke is a great-grandson through his paternal grandfather George I of Greece.

As well as second cousins once removed, the couple are also third cousins: they share Queen Victoria as a great-great-grandmother. Elizabeth's great-grandfather was Edward VII, while Edward's sister Alice, Grand Duchess of Hesse and by Rhine was the Duke's great-grandmother. All of this was probably painfully obvious to them on their wedding day as everyone assembled to witness their wedding was related to one another and could only be seated with a convoluted flow chart.

So goes love amongst the royals and hillbillies.


On March 30, 1870, the U.S. Congress readmitted Texas to the Union. Texas is the only state in the Union whose name is an anagram for taxes. Texas had been naughty and seceded in 1861, but they said they were sorry and promised never to do it again.



Congress didn’t think they really meant it, but let them back in anyway, after making Texas write "I will not secede from the union" 500 times.

Conclude this paragraph with the Texaphobic slur or Texaphiliac slogan of your choice.


March 30, 1909 -
...The city seen from the Queensboro Bridge, is always the city seen for the first time, in its first wild promise of all the mystery and the beauty in the world.... - F Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

The Queensboro Bridge (originally known as Blackwell's Island Bridge, affectionately known as the 59th St. Bridge, now known as the Edward I. Koch Bridge,) the first double-decker bridge, opened and linked the New York boroughs of Manhattan and Queens on this date.



The Simon and Garfunkel song Feelin' Groovy uses the bridge as its namesake.


March 30, 1954 -
Canada's first subway line, Toronto's Yonge line opened on date.



Built by the publicly owned TTC (Toronto Transportation Commission, now Toronto Transit Commission) between 1949 and 1954, it was the beginning of postwar Toronto's effort to accommodate the demands of the city's prosperity and its future.


March 30, 1968 -
Two children playing in a deserted East Village tenement at 371 East 10th St come across the body of a homeless drug addict later identified as Bobby Driscoll (the patron saint of child actors gone wrong), 31, the first actor Walt Disney put under contract and the voice of Disney's Peter Pan, on this date.



So I guess he really wouldn't grow up.


March 30, 1972 -
Royal Canadian Navy sailors were issued their very last daily rum ration on this date, (the Britain's Royal Navy stopped issuing rum rations on July 31, 1970.)



This left them with merely the lash and sodomy. There are no reports on how that's working out for them, although rumors abound that this was the sticking point on Brexit.


March 30, 1981 -
President Ronald Reagan was shot and wounded by John W. Hinckley Jr. outside the Washington Hilton Hotel on this date. Press Sec. James Brady was also shot as was Secret Service agent Tim McCarthy and District of Columbia police officer Thomas Delahanty.



While President Reagan underwent surgery for a life-threatening gunshot wound, Secretary of State Alexander Haig announced to the press: "As of now, I am in control here, in the White House, pending return of the Vice President."



As bloodless coups go, it was a brilliant though short-lived one.


March 30, 1993 -
Charlie Brown (very uncharacteristically) hit a game winning home run on this date.

The pitcher on the opposing team - Royetta Hobbs.



And so it goes.

The Greatest War never fired a shot

The Great Pig War (aka the San Juan Boundary Dispute) between the US and UK/Canada begun in June of 1859, lasted 12 whole years and was started over a very hungry pig. At maximum belligerence, the order of battle included 2,600 ground troops, five powerful ships of the line, and nearly a hundred cannon.



But fortunately, the combatants never actually got around to doing much combatting. In fact, the only recorded injury was a Royal Marine who got hit in the eye by a rock thrown from the American trenches. He was shipped to a nearby military hospital, recuperated, and eventually rejoined his unit. Most of the opposing troops' energies were spent sneaking across the lines to each other's outposts - to play cards, swap stories, and to trade American tobacco and fresh food for navy rum swiped from the British quartermaster's stores. The Americans invited the British to celebrate 4 of July with them, while the yanks would visit the British for Victoria’s birthday celebrations. The biggest threat to peace at this time was the enormous amount of alcohol, as well as shady suppliers, that appeared on the island.



The two forces waited until finally, in 1872, all of the two nations’ remaining squabbles were brought out into the open. One by one all the border grievances remaining were addressed and (mostly) resolved, until eventually the focus fell on San Juan Island. It was decided that because the two nations both insisted on stubbornly claiming the land, the fate of the island would be decided by international arbitration, with no other than Kaiser Wilhem I of Germany to act as arbitrator.

All wars should be fought like this.


March 29, 1959 -
Billy Wilder's film, Some Like It Hot, starring Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon, premiered on this date.



Jack Lemmon wrote that the first sneak preview had a bad reaction with many audience walkouts. Many studio personnel and agents offered advice to Billy Wilder on what scenes to reshoot, add and cut. Lemmon asked Wilder what he was going to do. Wilder responded: "Why, nothing. This is a very funny movie and I believe in it just as it is. Maybe this is the wrong neighborhood in which to have shown it. At any rate, I don't panic over one preview. It's a hell of a movie." Wilder held the next preview in the Westwood section of Los Angeles, and the audience stood up and cheered.


March 29, 1975 -
Labelle's song Lady Marmalade (psst, it's about New Orleans prostitutes) hit no. #1 on this date. (Please clear a space around your desk, while watching this clip; you will immediately feel the need to shake your groove thing and might injury yourself otherwise.)



The chorus of "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir" is French for "Do you want to sleep with me tonight?" When Labelle performed this on television, broadcast standards of the day prohibited them from singing the chorus as written. It was changed to "Voulez-vous danser avec moi ce soir" (Do you want to dance with me).


March 29, 1979 –
The group, Supertramp release their sixth album Breakfast in America on this date, which goes on to sell six million copies in the U.S. and win two Grammy Awards.



The Breakfast In America album was very different from Supertramp's previous albums, which were more conceptual and elaborate. Breakfast was designed to have pop appeal.


March 29, 1985 -
Madonna barely beat out Ellen Barkin and Jennifer Jason Leigh, for the title role in Susan Seidelman's comedy, Desperately Seeking Susan, starring (besides Madonna,) Rosanna Arquette, John Turturro, Laurie Metcalf, Aidan Quinn and Steven Wright, which premiered on this date.



One of the iconic jackets that Madonna and Rosanna Arquette wore in the film was sold at a Hollywood auction in November, 2014 for approximately $225,000. One of the earrings worn by them fetched $34,000.


March 29, 2007 -
Rihanna released her hit, Umbrella, in the US, on this date.



Jay-Z, who runs Rihanna's record label Roc-A-Fella Records, performs a somewhat gratuitous rap at the beginning of the song emphasizing his wealth and business success. His presence on the song made it much more marketable even if it didn't advance the storyline.


Word of the Day


Today in History:
March 29, 1891 -
Georges Seurat died on this date. Mr. Seurat was a dotty artist who painted the world as he saw it.



Sadly, his eye condition was never treated.


March 29, 1932 -
A vaudeville comedian made his radio debut as a guest on the Ed Sullivan Show, saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is Jack Benny talking. There will be a slight pause while you say, 'Who cares?' "

The eternally 39 year old Benjamin Kubelsky premiered on his weekly radio show on May 2nd, which ran from 1932 to 1948 on NBC and from 1948 to 1955 on CBS, and was consistently among the most highly rated programs during most of that run.


March 29, 1943 -
You initially become funny as a kid because you're looking for attention and love. Psychologists think that's all to do with mother abandonment. I think John Cleese has his depressions, and Terry Gilliam's the same. All of us together make one completely insane person.



Eric Idle, comedian and composer, made his first public appearance at Harton Hospital, South Shields, England on this date.


March 29, 1951 -
Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were both convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage on this date. While Julius probably pass along secrets to the Soviets, recently declassified documents show that none of them lead to the development of the Russian nuclear weapons.



Ethel, unfortunately, is another matter. The same declassified document show that the government never believed that Ethel had anything to do with the case and the prosecution led by the lovely Roy Cohn wanted to use her as a 'lever' to pressure Julius into giving up the names of others who were involved.



She was mainly convicted on the testimony of her brother David Greenglass, a co-defendant in their trial. Greenglass was spared execution in exchange for his testimony. In late 2001, Greenglass recanted all of his testimony against his sister and claimed that he had committed perjury when he testified about her involvement in the case. Greenglass said he chose to falsely testify against his sister in order to protect his wife, who in fact was spying for the Russian.

Isn't sibling love grand?


March 29, 1977 -
Lee Harvey Oswald's best friend, and coincidentally a friend of both Jackie Kennedy and George HW Bush, Dallas socialite George de Mohrenschildt died from a self-inflicted shotgun wound to the mouth, on this date.



It is likely he was going to be called to testify before the House Select Committee on Assassinations.


March 29, 1979 -
A U.S. House of Representatives committee report finds that John F. Kennedy's assassination was the result of a conspiracy.

D'uh


March 29, 1992 -
Arkansas Governor and Presidential candidate Bill Clinton told the New York Times on this date: "When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it. I didn't inhale, and never tried it again."



Strangely, the POTUS and Monica Lewinsky had an 'encounter' on this date in 1997. It would be their final 'liaison'.

But remember, he did not have sexual relations with that woman.



And so it goes.

It's the start of Holy Week

Happy Palm Sunday

The name Palm Sunday comes from the tradition for worshippers being given palm fronds which they use to participate in the reenactment of Christ's arrival in Jerusalem.



As always, we here at ACME wish to quote that great theologian, my mother, during this holiday season:

"I swear to God if you kids don't quit hitting each other with those palms, I will beat your asses all the way home with them, in front of all your friends. I don't care how embarrassed you are."

St. Monica of Hippo has nothing on the good doctor's mom.


Today is Hot Tub Day. Hot Tub Day is an annual “holiday” that serves as a reminder to relax and unwind after a hard day’s work.





Or you could just listen to James Brown.


March 28, 1935 -
Leni Riefenstahl's influential Nazi Propaganda film Triumph of the Will premiered in Germany on this date.



Leni Riefenstahl had been given carte blanche by Adolf Hitler in the making of the film: effectively, the party rally was the first produced-for-camera event.


March 28, 1941 -
Universal Pictures released the B movie, Man Made Monster starring Lionel Atwell and Lon Chaney, Jr. on this date.



Budgeted at a mere $86,000 on a 3-week shooting schedule. It was the cheapest feature film produced by Universal in 1941.


March 28, 1942 -
Another fine Looney Tunes cartoon, The Wabbit Who Came to Supper, was released on this date.



As Bugs steps out of the bathtub and readjusts his towel (at appx 3:00 in), the white tub in the gap between his legs creates the illusion that he is exposing himself.

Try not to go back and look.


March 28, 1963 -
Alfred Hitchcock's follow-up to Psycho, The Birds, starring Rod Taylor and Tippi Hedron premiered in New York on this date.



The classic scene in which Tippi Hedren watches birds attacking the townsfolk was filmed in the studio from a phone booth. When Melanie opens the phone-booth door, a bird trainer had trained gulls that were taught to fly at it.


March 28, 1967 -
NBC broke new ground in television programming by using a world-premiere, feature length movie as the preview of a potential new television series called Ironside, on this date.



I've often wondered what the line item budget was for nipple rouge on this film?


March 28, 1974 -
Writer and comedian, Pat McCormick, carrying a cocktail streaked nude across the set of The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson, forcing NBC censors to black out the lower half of the screen.



the streaker was arrested and later released, said Carson, for "lack of evidence."


March 28, 1981 –
Blondie's venture into rap, the song Rapture hit no. #1 on the Billboard charts, on this date.



This was the first #1 hit song with a rap. Artists like Grandmaster Flash, Afrika Bambaataa, and Kurtis Blow had been rapping since the mid-'70s, and The Sugarhill Gang cracked the Hot 100 in 1979 with Rapper's Delight, but until Rapture, rap had never been incorporated into a hit pop song.


Another book from the back catalog of ACME Books


Today in History:
March 28, 4 BCE -
According to Des Pascha Comutus, a treatise written in 243 CE (because you know, I sit around and read old Latin treatises all the time,) Jesus Christ's birthday was March 28. It later became the familiar December 25 after the Catholic Church changed it in 336 AD.



So, Merry Christmas everybody.


March 28, 37 -
Caligula took a break from the close relationship he had with his sisters and the unnatural congress he engaged in with his horse, to accepts the titles of the Principate awarded by the Senate and entered Rome triumphantly as Emperor.



Unlike his predecessors, Caligula was the first of the men who would serve as full-fledged emperors, with unlimited power. And luckily for the Roman empire, he was cruel, probably insane and a sexual deviant.



The weekends must have been a blast at the Palace.


March 28, 193 -
The Roman ruler Pertinax was at his palace when a contingent of some three hundred soldiers rushed the gates. Pertinax was somewhat distracted. Ancient sources suggest that the soldiers had received only half their promised donativum (pay or bribe money not to kill him). Pertinax had only been emperor for 86 days and didn't have enough time to sell off the previous Emperor Commodus' property (including the concubines and youths Commodus kept for his sexual pleasures) in the giant fire sale he was having.

Neither the guards on duty nor the palace officials chose to resist them. Pertinax, although advised to flee, attempted to reason with them (never try to reason with unpaid Roman soldiers on a rampage), and was almost successful before being struck down by a member of the Praetorian Guard. There being no obvious successor and no Senatorial volunteers, the Guard auctions off the emperorship. The high bidder was Senator Didius Julianus, for 300 million sesterces. After hearing of this, Roman general Septimus Severus in Dalmatia marched on Rome, beheading the new emperor upon arrival.



Both of the films, The Fall of the Roman Empire and Gladiator, take the same historical event as a starting point.


March 28, 1515 -
... Don't let your sins turn into bad habits....

Teresa of Avila (Teresa de Jesus), Spanish Carmelite nun, mystic writer and one of my favorite saints (remember, she's the one who was repeated pierced with God's 'golden shaft' of light) was born on this date. She co-founded with John of the Cross, the Order of Discalced (barefoot) Carmelites.


March 28, 1921 -
Dirk Bogarde (Derek Jules Gaspard Ulric Niven van den Bogaerde), actor and the epitome of coolness, was born on this date.



Going to the wrong room for a British Broadcasting Corporation audition, the young Bogarde accidentally got a part in a stage play that proved so successful he was hailed as a star overnight.


March 28, 1930 -
Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works?
That's nobody's business but the Turks.





(I can't help myself - I just love this song) Constantinople and Angora change their names to Istanbul and Ankara on this date.


March 28, 1941-
Virginia Woolf drowned herself by weighing her pockets with stones and walking into the River Ouse near her home because she had a dream that Nicole Kidman would portray her in a film with a truly horrifying fake nose, on this date.



Lesser writers would have done the same.


March 28, 1964 -
The first pirate radio station began to broadcast off the coast of England on this date. Radio Caroline debuted with a combination of rock music and lively disk jockey who's patter played to a huge audience in Great Britain.



British authorities, tried unsuccessfully, to shut down the radio station ship. Radio Caroline had become competition to the staid and usually dull British Broadcasting Corporation.


March 28, 1979 -
The Unit 2 nuclear power plant (a pressurized water reactor manufactured by Babcock and Wilcox) on the Three Mile Island Nuclear Generating Station in Dauphin County, Pennsylvania near Harrisburg suffered a partial core meltdown on this date.



The Three Mile Island accident was the worst accident in American commercial nuclear power generating history, even though it led to no deaths or injuries to plant workers or members of the nearby community.



And so it goes.

Next year, if not in Jerusalem, at least not in quarantine

Passover starts tonight - please bone up on those four questions.







Remember you will not be graded on a curve!



While it's not as bad as not finding the missing easter egg, by all means, please find the Afikoman, (no one wants to accidentally eat a piece of exceptionally stale cracker.)


Today is Earth Hour, a global event (organized by World Wildlife Fund) held usually on the last Saturday of March. Earth Hour is celebrated annually by asking households and businesses to turn off their non-essential lights and other electrical appliances for one hour to raise awareness towards the need to take action on climate change.



Earth Hour 2021 will be held from 8:30 p.m. until 9:30 p.m. EDT (WWF recommended that participants join in online in their homes, which would entail you using an electrical appliance. Go figure. )


As you know, I'm a Gin man, through and through but I would have a difficult time deciding whether or not to celebrate International Whisk(e)y Day today or World Whisky Day on May 15.



International Whisk(e)y Day uses the parenthesis to indicate support of Scottish, Canadian, and Japanese whiskies (no e) as well as Irish and American whiskeys (with an e). World Whisky Day takes place on the third Saturday in May each year.


March 27, 1952 -
Singin' in the Rain, the apex of movie musicals, premiered in New York on this date.



Debbie Reynolds remarked many years later that making this movie and surviving childbirth were the two hardest things she'd ever had to do. The filming experience was particularly unpleasant due to her harsh treatment by perfectionist Gene Kelly. Decades later, Kelly expressed remorse about his behavior: "I wasn't nice to Debbie. It's a wonder she still speaks to me."


March 27, 1965 -
The day after Diana Ross' 21st birthday, the Supremes song Stop! In the Name of Love became their fourth consecutive No. 1 hit on the Billboard charts on this date.



The production on this song benefited from some upgrades Motown had recently done to their studios. The musicians were separated by baffles, with a microphone dedicated to each one. This allowed the Holland/Dozier/Holland team, which also produced the track, to put a lot of instruments into the mix without having them get muddy.


March 27, 1973 -
Marlon Brando declined the Academy Award for Best Actor for his career-reviving performance in The Godfather on this date. The Native American actress Sacheen Littlefeather attended the ceremony in Brando's place, stating that the actor "very regretfully" could not accept the award, as he was protesting Hollywood's portrayal of Native Americans in film.



Brando was the second actor to ever turn down the Oscar, the first being George C. Scott, who declined his Best Actor Oscar for his role in Patton.


March 27, 1981 -
Michael Mann's first theatrical film, Thief, starring James Caan and Tuesday Weld, premiered on this date.



The vault that Frank breaks into in the opening scene was a real vault, purchased for $10,000, specifically so that James Caan could break into it, using the real tools and techniques supplied by real-life thieves who served as technical consultants on the film, principally John Santucci, who also portrayed Sergeant Urizzi on-screen.


March 27, 1987 -
U2 played a rooftop concert in Los Angeles to film their video for Where The Streets Have No Name, on this date.



U2 played the song four times, and also played People Get Ready, In God's Country, Sunday Bloody Sunday and Pride (In The Name Of Love). It won the Grammy for Best Performance Music Video in 1989. The concept was similar to the Beatles famous Apple Records rooftop concert on January 30, 1969, which they used in their movie Let It Be. When asked about the similarity between U2's rooftop video and The Beatles rooftop concert, Bono said, "We've ripped off The Beatles many times before."


March 27, 1992 -
Ron Shelton's sleeper hit, White Men Can't Jump starring Wesley Snipes, Woody Harrelson, and Rosie Perez premiered on this date.



Woody Harrelson was significantly better at basketball than Wesley Snipes. However, in the movie they are depicted as equals, though Harrelson's character famously cannot dunk.

Don't forget to tune in to ACME Eagle Hand Soap Radio Hour Today


Today in History:
March 27, 30 -



A small time official in a backwater province of the Roman empire gains immortality for practicing good hygiene.



Pontius Pilate washed his hands and sealed the fate of Jesus.


March 27, 1790 -
Englishman Harvey Kennedy officially patented the shoestring on this date.

Kennedy was not the first to invent shoelaces; however, his version of the shoestring included the aglet, a metal or plastic sheath that protects the ends of the laces. The aglet prevents the shoestrings from unravelling, making the process of threading the laces through the eyelets much easier. Needless to say, shoelaces with aglets were a hit.


March 27, 1866 -
The patent for a urinal (US Patent No. #53,488) was granted to Dr. Andrew Rankin, on this date.

Men everywhere stand up and cheer.


March 27, 1912 -
Washington DC is in the middle of it's annual celebration of National Cherry Blossom Festival (even though we are still supposed to be practicing social distancing,) commemorating the gift of Japanese cherry trees from Mayor Yukio Ozaki of Tokyo City to the city of Washington on this date.

The gift of 3,020 trees to the United States government were planted along Washington's Potomac River.

In a ceremony on this date, First Lady Helen Herron Taft and the Viscountess Chinda, wife of the Japanese ambassador, planted two Yoshina cherry trees on the northern bank of the Potomac Tidal Basin, near the Jefferson Memorial.



The gift nearly set off an international incident when the first set of trees sent by the Japanese government, in 1910, were discovered to be infested with harmful insects and disease. All of the trees had to be destroyed. After much apologizing on both sides, the Japanese government sent the new gift of the current trees.


March 27, 1945 -
Don't cry for me Argentina.

Argentina declared war on Nazi Germany, a tad late in the game, on this date. Of course, this was just a silly charade for the benefit of the world community. Argentina would be a quiet ally of Germany for the duration of the war, even welcoming many Nazi and SS leaders to emigrate there in the aftermath.


March 27, 1958 -
Nikita Khrushchev assumed control of the Soviet Union when he took over as premier (Evil Bastard, new style) of the country, five years after the death of Joseph Stalin on this date. Unlike most of the early Soviet leaders, who were all members of the Russian middle class, Khrushchev actually came from the working class (a very polite way of saying, he was as poor as dirt). His father was a coal miner, and his grandfather had been a serf. Khrushchev worked his way up through the ranks of the party until he became a close ally of Joseph Stalin, and during the mass executions of 1930s, when Stalin purged the party of all his suspected political enemies, Khrushchev was one of only three provincial secretaries to survive.

So upon Stalin's death in 1953, when Khrushchev began to work behind the scenes to take control of the party, there was no reason to believe he wouldn't just continue Stalin's reign of terror. But instead, on February 25, 1956, Khrushchev gave a four-hour speech to the 20th Congress of the Soviet Communist Party, viciously attacking Stalin's legacy and abuses of power, detailing all the innocent people Stalin had imprisoned, tortured, and murdered during his reign. The night Khrushchev gave the speech, no one knew exactly what he was planning to say. Witnesses said later that some members of the audience fainted from the shock of hearing Stalin criticized. Several audience members committed suicide a few days later. Many went insane having to endure a four hour speech by a semi literate politburo member.



The speech was never officially announced to the public (for fear of the mass suicides - think Monty Python's WWII 'funny' joke), and Khrushchev never admitted to having made it, but word of the speech immediately began to leak out to intellectual circles and the foreign press. It was a bombshell, and it helped bolster Khrushchev's power at home and abroad. He became the premier two years later, on this day in 1958.


March 27, 1963 -
It's the birthday of the noted filmmaker, crack addict and foot fetisher Quentin Tarantino, born in Knoxville, Tennessee on this date. He was diagnosed as hyperactive as a kid, and didn't get along with his classmates or his teachers. His parents had to tie a pork chop around his neck to get the dog to play with him. The only things that calmed him down were comic books, movies and continually swallowing wristwatches. From the time when he was a toddler, his mother let him watch whatever movies he wanted. He watched everything from kung fu movies to French art house films (perhaps a little too much kung fu movies, some might argue).



He started taking acting classes (obviously failing those courses), and in his spare time he rewrote screenplays of movies he'd already seen from memory. Instead of going to film school, he got a job at video rental store that had one of the largest video collections in Southern California. Several other aspiring filmmakers worked there, and they would watch movies all day at work, discussing camera angles and dialogue. He spent five years working at the video store, writing screenplays, but he wasn't getting anywhere in his career.



He finally got a break when he met an actor who knew another actor who knew Harvey Keitel, and Keitel agreed to look at one of Tarantino's scripts. Keitel was impressed enough to volunteer to help Tarantino produce the film, and to act in it himself. The result was Reservoir Dogs, which made Tarantino internationally famous. His next film, Pulp Fiction, won the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival in 1994, and it went on to win an Academy Award for best screenplay.

Beside having won another Academy Award for screenwriting in 2013, and toe sucking, these days, Tarantino organizes the semi-annual Quentin Tarantino Film Festival, which is devoted to B movies of various genres, including kung fu movies, horror movies, biker movies, cheerleader movies, and women-in-prison movies.

So by all means, please slap his mother or father if you come across them today and blame them for the state of today's cinema.


March 27, 1964 -
On Good Friday at 5:36 pm, Valdez, Alaska, in Prince William Sound was rocked by an 9.2 earthquake, the largest ever recorded in North America. It lasted 4 minutes and was followed by tsunamis and fires and 131 people were killed.



Much of Crescent City, Ca., was demolished and 12 people were killed by a resulting tsunami.


March 27, 1998 -
The US Food and Drug Administration approved the drug Viagra (Sildenafil citrate), made by Pfizer, saying it helped about two-thirds of impotent men improve their sexual function. Viagra's effects were shown to last 8-12 hours (but remember if your erection last more than 4 hours, after calling your friends, please seek medical assistance.)

Pfizer had originally tested the compound UK 92,480 as a drug for angina and found that male volunteers were getting frequent erections - don't ask . They renamed it Viagra and sought sales approval.



And so it goes.

Remove That Cotton

Have you ever wondered why there is a little white cotton ball in some pill bottle? Well, it is necessary to keep the pills from bouncing around while in transport.



Once you get your pills home, make sure to remove it if you want to keep your pills good. The cotton can gather moisture and allow bacteria to grow into the bottle. This can turn the pills into something that will really make you sick.

So now you know.


March 26, 1942 -
Up in the sky, look! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Superman!



The Bulleteers, part of the Fleischer Superman animated series, was released on this date.


March 26, 1953 -
One of Martin Scorsese's favorite films, Kenji Mizoguchi's Ugetsu (the original title, Ugetsu Monogatari,) starring Masayuki Mori, Machiko Kyo and Kinuyo Tanaka, premiered in Japan on this date.



Regarded by critics as a masterpiece of Japanese cinema, the film won the Silver Lion Award at the 1953 Venice Film Festival.


March 26, 1971 -
Balding, middle-aged, and portly (hey I better watch out, that's starting to describe me) - the Cannon pilot with William Conrad premiered on CBS-TV on this date.



Frank Cannon was a pipe smoker. He was shown with a pipe in the first two seasons but it was seen occasionally in the third and fourth season before it


March 26, 1977 -
Hall & Oates have their first of six chart-toppers when their single Rich Girl hits No. #1 on Billboard's Hot 100 chart, on this date.



Daryl Hall was shocked to find out that the infamous serial killer David "Son Of Sam" Berkowitz claimed he was inspired to murder by this song. It is unlikely that this song actually compelled Berkowitz to kill, as it was released after he started his killing spree, and Berkowitz cited many influences, including his neighbor's dog, when asked why he killed. Nonetheless, it was very disturbing for Hall & Oates to have their song associated with Berkowitz, and they made reference to this in their 1980 song Diddy Doo Wop (I Hear the Voices) from their Voices album in the lyrics: "Charlie liked The Beatles, Sam he liked Rich Girl."


March 26, 1977 -
Less Than Zero, the debut single from Elvis Costello, was released by the newly formed Stiff Records in London, England on this date.



When Costello appeared on Saturday Night Live in 1977 (filling in for the Sex Pistols, who were denied entry into the US), it was decided that he would perform this song. Elvis, however, had other ideas. After playing some of Less Than Zero, he halted the performance and played the unreleased Radio Radio instead, earning him a ban from the show that lasted until 1989, when he returned as musical guest.


March 26, 1987 -
Nike begins airing a commercial using the Beatles song Revolution, marking the first time an original version of a Beatles song is used in an ad.



The commercials caused a huge backlash from Beatles fans who felt that Nike was disrespecting the legacy of John Lennon, who likely would have objected to its use, but the ad campaign, called "Revolution in Motion," was successful, helping Nike expand their market by featuring ordinary joggers, gym rats and cyclists. "We're trying to promote the concept of revolutionary changes in the fitness movement and show how Nike parallels those changes with product development," the company stated. "Because of this 'revolution,' we were able to draw a strong correlation with the music and the lyrics in the Beatles song."


March 26, 1989 -
The science fiction series, Quantum Leap, starring Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell, premiered on NBC-TV on this date.



According to Dean Stockwell, his friend Dennis Hopper advised him not to take a role on television so soon after being nominated for an Academy Award (Best Actor in a Supporting Role for Married to the Mob). Stockwell took the role anyway, and was nominated for four Emmys, and four Golden Globes (and won one in 1990), for his role as Al.


Another unimportant moment in history


Today in History:
March 26, 1199 -
All seemed right with the Medieval world. Richard the Lionheart was taking an evening stroll around the castle perimeter without his chain mail, investigating the progress of soldiers trying to destroy the fortress in which he was seeking refuge. Arrows were occasionally fired from the castle walls, but these were given little attention.

One defender in particular was of great amusement to the King - a man standing on the walls, cross bow in one hand, the other clutching a frying pan which he had been using all day as a shield to beat off missiles (this is what passed for amusement in 1199). He deliberately aimed an arrow at the King, which the King applauded. However, another arrow then struck him in the left shoulder near the neck. He tried to pull this out in the privacy of his tent, but failed; a surgeon, called a 'butcher' by Roger of Hoveden, (a 12th-century English chronicler,) removed it, 'carelessly mangling' the King's arm in the process. However, the wound swiftly became gangrenous.

Accordingly, Richard asked to have the cross bowman brought before him - the man proved a boy. This boy claimed that Richard had slain the boy's father and two brothers, and that he had slain Richard in vengeance. The boy expected to be slain; Richard, as a last act of mercy, forgave the boy his crime, saying, "Live on, and by my bounty behold the light of day," before ordering the boy to be freed and sent away with 100 shillings. Richard then set his affairs in order, bequeathing all his territory to his brother John and his jewels to his nephew Otto.



Richard died on Tuesday, April 6, 1199 in the arms of his mother, Eleanor of Aquitaine; it was later said that "As the day was closing, he ended his earthly day." His death was later referred to as 'the Lion [that] by the Ant was slain'. His last act of chivalry proved pointless: as soon as Richard was dead, his most infamous mercenary captain Mercadier had the boy who fired the fatal arrow flayed alive and then hanged.

So much for pardons.


March 26, 1812 –
A political cartoon in the Boston Gazette, created by Elkanah Tisdale, coined the term “gerrymander” (named after Governor Elbridge Gerry) to describe oddly shaped electoral districts designed to help incumbents win re-election.

On February 11, 1812, Gerry, governor of Massachusetts, signed legislation that created an oddly shaped voting district with its southern tip in Chelsea, then heading east to Marblehead, and north along the Merrimack River towns to Salisbury. In March, artist Gilbert Stuart stopped by the office of the Boston Gazette and noticed the new map of the new Essex district hanging on the office wall. He was struck by its peculiar shape, and turned to editor Benjamin Russel, an ardent Federalist, he said “There, that will do for a Salamander.” “Better say a Gerrymander” replied the editor Benjamin Russel, punning on the name of Governor Gerry.


March 26, 1827 -
German composer Ludwig Van Beethoven died in Vienna on this date. He had been deaf for the later part of his life, but said on his death bed "I shall hear in heaven."



I wonder what the first thing that he heard in heaven?


March 26, 1830 -
Joseph Smith published The Book of Mormon on this date, after translating it from golden plates turned over by the angel Moroni.



Smith maintained that the text contained in the tablets were written in Reformed Egyptian which he read by means of two magic stones from the Old Testament, the Urim and Thummim.


March 26, 1920 -
Let the days move over—sadness and memory and pain recurred outside, and here, once more, before he went on to meet them he wanted to drift and be young. - F. Scott Fitzgerald

I don't know why I bother bringing this up but F. Scott Fitzgerald's first novel was published on this date, bringing his talents into the spotlight.



The novel This Side of Paradise immediately launching 23-year-old F. Scott Fitzgerald to fame and fortune.

But what do you care, you don't read anything, anyway.


March 26, 1931 -
As if some cosmic force far greater than any of us can understand,



Leonard Nimoy was born four day after William Shatner.


March 26, 1953 -
Dr. Jonas Salk announced he had a vaccine for polio, on this date. Following Salk's discovery, a nationwide inoculation campaign began in 1955.



By 1957, the number of new polio cases dropped from 58 thousand to under six thousand.


March 26, 2233 - (There is some controversy surrounding this date)
James Tiberius Kirk will be born to Winona and George Samuel Kirk, Sr. in a small farming community in Riverside, Iowa. As the Captain will be quoted in the future, "I'm from Iowa, I only work in outer space."



Although born on Earth, he was apparently raised, at least for a time, on Tarsus IV, where he was one of only nine surviving witnesses to the massacre of 4,000 colonists because of utilitarian extermination by Kodos the Executioner so that the colony could survive a devastating famine.



And so it goes.