Friday, April 3, 2015

Holy smoke, there's a lot going on today

April 3, 33 -
A small town rabbi and itinerant prophet of a little known Jewish sect was put to death in Jerusalem in a particularly unpleasant way on this date.



2000 years later, little children eat jelly beans and chocolate bunnies to commemorate this event.

Go figure. 

Today is also know as, Great Friday, Holy Friday or Long Friday.





On Good Friday, parishioners (the old ladies who populate church in the middle of most days) follow the officiant and observe the Stations of the Cross.


Passover starts tonight - please bone up on those four questions.







Remember you will not be graded on a curve!


April 3, 1942 -
Mr. Las Vegas, Carson Wayne Newton, was born on this date.



Mr. Newton, you can lay off the plastic surgery, we like you, the age that you are.


April 3, 1958 -
One of the Baldwin brothers, I think the not-so-husky but very hairy one (in comparison with his brothers), Alexander Rae Baldwin III was born on this date.




Alec has three younger brothers, all actors and two younger sisters, who are not brothers or actors. It's been rumored that there was another Baldwin brother, Gummo, who was eaten by his siblings in some childhood shopping accident at a Long Island A & P, but that have never been proven.


April 3, 1982 -
I Love Rock 'n' Roll by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts topped the charts on this date. The song was number 1 on the Billboard charts for two months after 23 major record labels refused to give her a deal.



Jett was touring England as a member of the all teenage girl group, The Runaways when she heard this song. She wanted to record it with The Runaways, but the other members didn't like the song and made the mistake of passing it up. So, in 1979, Jett recorded it with Paul Cook and Steve Jones of The Sex Pistols and released it as a B-side. Finally, in 1981, Jett recorded the song with her band The Blackhearts, resulting in a monster hit.


Today in History:
April 3, 1860 -
The Pony Express made its first run on this date.  The Pony Express became the quickest and most reliable mail delivery method in the newly developed American West, and covered land from Missouri to California in under ten days.



Though the Pony Express only lasted for about a year, it deeply impacted the development of the West. The Pony Express would be put out of business just eighteen months later with the completion of the first transcontinental telegraph line in October 1861.


Things were not looking good for the Outlaw Jesse James. With his gang depleted by arrests, deaths, and defections, Jesse thought he had only two men left whom he could trust: brothers Bob and Charley Ford. Frank James had decided to retire and attempt to settle down. Joe Walsh had not yet been born. Little did he know that Bob Ford had been conducting secret negotiations with Thomas T. Crittenden, the Missouri governor, to bring in Jesse James.



On April 3, 1882, as James prepared for another robbery, and as all good bank robbers did, he decided to go some little housekeeping. It was a rare moment: He had his guns off, having removed them earlier when the unusual heat forced him to remove his coat; as he moved in and out of the house, he feared the pistols would attract attention from the several passers-by. Seizing the opportunity, the Fords drew their revolvers. Bob was the fastest, firing a shot into the back of Jesse's head, cooling him off and killing him instantly.



The assassination proved a national sensation. The Fords made no attempt to hide their role; as crowds pressed into the little house in St. Joseph to see the dead bandit, they surrendered to the authorities, pleaded guilty, were sentenced to hang, and were promptly pardoned by the governor. Indeed, the governor's quick pardon suggested that he was well aware that the brothers intended to kill, rather than capture, Jesse James. (The Ford brothers, like many who knew James, never believed it was practical to try to capture such a dangerous man.) The implication that the chief executive of Missouri conspired to kill a private citizen startled the public and helped create a new legend in James.



The Fords received a portion of the reward (some of it also went to law enforcement officials active in the plan) and fled Missouri, which now fully embraced the outlaw who had long divided public opinion in the state. Zerelda, Jesse’s mother, appeared at the coroner’s inquest, deeply anguished, and loudly denounced Dick Liddil, a former gang member who was cooperating with state authorities. Charley Ford committed suicide in May 1884. Bob Ford was killed by a shotgun blast to the throat in his tent saloon in Creede, Colorado, on June 8, 1892. His killer, Edward Capehart O'Kelley, was sentenced to life in prison. Because of health problems, his sentence was commuted, and O'Kelley was released on October 3, 1902.


Insufferable Bastards are not to be confused with Evil Bastards. Insufferable Bastards correct your pronunciation, order mesclun salad, and belittle your appreciation of hamburgers; Evil Bastards kill millions of people and launch world wars.

Ironically, this week marks the anniversary of one of this century’s Evilest Bastards coming to power: Joe Stalin became Secretary General of the Communist Party on April 3, 1922.


April 3, 1924 -
The brilliant actor and total loon Marlon Brando was born on this date.



It's almost hard to remember that Brando was one of the more beautiful and talented actor (and owner of one of the most voracious sexual appetites) of his generation.



Interesting fact: according to Brando, the great love of his life was Wally Cox (his childhood friend.)



Brando was quoted as saying: "If Wally had been a woman, I would have married him and we would have lived happily ever after." After TV's Mr. Peepers and the voice of Underdog died, Brando kept his ashes in his bedroom for 30 years and conversed with them nightly. Eventually, the ashes (Wally's) were eventually scattered with his (Marlon's) own.


April 3, 1924 -
Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children.



Doris Mary Ann Kappelhoff, singer and actress, was born on this date (and still going strong.)

I bet you never thought about Marlon Brando and Doris Day in the same universe.


On April 3, 1930, Ras Tafari was proclaimed Emperor Haile Selassie of Ethiopia (his coronation occurred on November 3, 1930.)

This ultimately resulted in Bob Marley.




April 3, 1936 -
The state of New Jersey extended one final courtesy to Bruno Hauptmann and offered him the hot seat for the kidnapping and murder of the Lindbergh baby on this date.



(as previously discussed, a crime he probably did not commit.)


April 3, 1966 -
Soviet Union's Luna 10 became the first spacecraft to orbit Moon on this date.

No amount of Preparation H helped President Johnson's hemorrhoidal flare up on this date.


April 3, 1968 -
... It really doesn't matter with me now, because I've been to the mountain top, and I don't mind....



Less than 24 hours before he was assassinated in Memphis, Tenn., civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his "mountaintop" speech to a rally of striking sanitation workers.



And so it goes

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