Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Happy Intestinal Distress Day

The twelfth day of the Lunar New Year does not have much significance. The holiday has become an endurance test.

Many people keep eating with greasy food from Chinese New Year Eve for 11 days. They may have a queasy stomach on this day. Sales of Kaopectate and Pepto-Bismol skyrocket. Because the Lantern Festival is in three days, many families begin to prepare the Lantern Festival, which is on the 15th lunar day.


We should wish George Washington, a very happy birthday,

but they've moved his birthday a couple of times and he's quite dead -  so why bother


It's Peppermint Patty Day - No, not this one

This one



It's minty chocolatey goodness.


February 11, 1962 -
Sheryl Suzanne Crow
, singer-songwriter, musician and Michael Jackson backup singer survivor, was born on this date.






When sending birthday wishes, don' t bring up the whole Lance Armstrong thing.


February 11, 1963 -
Julia Child's
show The French Chef premiered on this date.



For my money, one of the greatest Americans who ever lived.


February 11, 1969 -
Our lady of the perpetual bad relationship, Jennifer Aniston, was born on this date.





Jennifer deserves to be well and happy (Greek girls always have a special place in my heart.)


Today in History:
On February 11, 1573, Francis Drake saw the Pacific Ocean for the first time on this date, and this is noteworthy, since 100's of thousands of West Coast living indigenous Native Americans saw it before they went to bed the night before.

And he still had time to create those delicious little cakes.


February 11, 1650 -
Rene Descartes, mathematician, drunken fart and philosopher best known for his statement "I think therefore I am", stops thinking on this date.



Queen Christina of Sweden (remember - the boy queen - see December 18 ) persuaded Descartes to come to Stockholm. On this date, after only a few months in that cold climate, he died of pneumonia.

Kids let this be a lesson to you - never accept an invitation from transvestite royalty.


Friedrich Ebert was elected the first president of the German Republic on February 11, 1919.

President Ebert brought about the Weimar constitution that eventually resulted in Adolf Hitler's rise to power.

I bet he didn't see that coming.


February 11, 1929 -
The Lateran Treaty
was signed on this date - Mussolini granted recognition to the Vatican in return for their support of his fascist dictatorship.

Kids, here's another lesson for you - entering a treaty with balding dictators can never lead to anything good.


February 11, 1936 -
It's Burt Reynolds' birthday. He's not the one who squealed like a pig in Deliverance (what he does in his private life is none of my concern.)



Burt should have charged for all those mustache rides; he wouldn't have been in such financial straits.


February 11, 1938 -
BBC Television produces the world's first ever science fiction television program, an adaptation of a section of the Karel Capek play R.U.R., which coined the term robot.

The show was a thirty-five-minute adaptation of a section of the play, performed live from the BBC's Alexandra Palace studios. The BBC had no professional facility for recording programs in those pre-war days, so save a few on-set publicity photographs and reviews in the press, all records of this production are lost.


February 11, 1960 -
Jack Paar,
temperament host of the Tonight Show, in a fit of pique, walks off his TV show when he is not allowed to tell a very lame joke about W.C. 's on this date.



Yes Jack, there is a better way to make a living than this, nowadays, you would be allowed to broadcast live while you are getting a colonoscopy.



February 11, 1979 -
Followers of Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini seized power in Iran, nine days after the religious leader returned to his home country following 15 years of exile on this date.



But 43 million people in the US try to seek salvation by watching Elvis! on ABC-TV on this date.



Most do not find it because they forgot to place one hand on the TV screen and the other hand upon their damp loin area.

When will the damned ever learn.


February 11, 1986 -
Frank Herbert
, author of Dune, died from pancreatic cancer on this date.



If only he had access to the spice Melange.


February 11, 1990 -
Nelson Mandela
, a political prisoner for 27 years, was freed from Victor Verster Prison outside Cape Town, South Africa on this date.



In April 1994, he was elected president in the first all-race elections.  If only he had access to the spice Melange.


BTW - Peppermint Patty's real name was Patricia Reichardt (now it's Pat Reichardt.)



And so it goes.

No comments:

Post a Comment