Remember, this is no time to panic.

Some 100,000 dead fish died in the Arkansas River, yesterday,

about 125 miles away from the more than 1,000 blackbirds that "fell out of the sky."



Maybe, God just hates Arkansas.

And in case you're counting, that's approximately 42 pies that could have been placed before a king (think about it - the joke will come to you.)


Today in History:
January 3, 1521 -
Pope Leo X excommunicated Martin Luther for challenging church doctrine on this date.

I'm sure Martin was very concerned about his immortal soul languishing in hell.


January 3, 1870 -
The construction of the Brooklyn-side wooden caisson of the Brooklyn Bridge began on this date.

And it still has some of the greatest views of the city (for free.)


January 3, 1951 -
The ominous, four-note introduction to the brass and tympani theme music, then the staccato voice over intones, Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to hear is true.



Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent, for the first time on television.


January 3, 1953 -
Frances Bolton and her son, Oliver from Ohio, become the first mother and son to serve simultaneously in the U.S. Congress.

I wonder if she kept telling him to sit up straight and stop talking to his neighbor while they were at work?


January 3, 1959 -
Alaska became the 49th state in the United States on this date.



You just knew somehow Nixon was involved in the whole Sarah Palin thing.


January 3, 1962 -
Pope John XXIII excommunicated Fidel Castro on this date.

I'm sure Fidel is very concerned about his immortal soul languishing in hell.


January 3, 1967 -
Jack Ruby died of natural causes at Parkland Hospital, where Lee Harvey Oswald had died and President Kennedy had been pronounced dead after his assassination, on this date.

He could possibly be one of the only people involved in this sordid affair that did.


January 3, 1969 -
In New Jersey, 30,000 copies of John and Yoko's album Two Virgins are confiscated because the cover is deemed obscene. There is nothing more shocking than two naked multimillionaires on the cover of your Rock and Roll Album.

Kids, go ask your parents what albums were.



And so it goes.