Attention Citizens: Be on the look out for this woman

An arrest warrant has been issued for the follow person:



A word to the wise - lock up your liquor, she's a mean drunk.

Here is your Today in History -
It's a bad day for Italian men in short dresses who are going to the Senate today. So please, all you paisans, wear something sensible, perhaps a midcalf skirt or a pants suit.




March 15, 44 BC -
Julius Caesar, already warned to be wary on this the Ides of March by the astrologer Spurinna, assassinated with pointy knives by a group of Senators, including Brutus and Cassius, at the Pompey theater. They were angry at him because he had crossed the Rubicon. Later Marc Antony borrowed everyone's ears and told them that Brutus was an honorable man, which upset them so much they had a Civil War.



Sixteen centuries later, more or less, William Shakespeare immortalized the story, and eventually Marlon Brando got to play Marc Antony, so everyone was happy in the end.



Caesar is also celebrated because he wrote a famous book called The Garlic Wars, which begins with the famous line, "All garlic is divided into three cloves." It also includes the line "veni, vidi, vinci," the exact meaning of which is still a matter of debate but, if my own Latin studies are worth anything, probably involves Druids and hollandaise sauce.


March 15, 1812 -
Luddites attack Frank Vickerman's wool processing factory at Taylor Hill in West Yorkshire, resulting in general destruction and attempted arson.



The rampaging Luddites were incensed because his machines replaced workers, but Vickerman was primarily targeted because of involvement in an Anti-Luddite committee.

So now you know


Today's episode of Oh, that Wacky Russian Revolution:
At two o'clock in the morning on March 15, 1917 the Tsar sent word to Petrograd that he was awfully sorry about the war and starvation and everything, but that he had some really good ideas about what they could do now, was looking forward to working with them, believed that healthy debate was a symptom of good government, and so on.



The new government told him to blow it out his ass.

And so at three o'clock in the afternoon, Nicholas abdicated in favor of his son (who had measles).



The new government told him and his son to blow it out their asses.

At 11:15 pm, Nicholas signed a proclamation that both he and his son (who had measles) would abdicate in favor of his brother, the Grand Duke Mikhail.



The next day, the new government told Nicholas, his son (who had measles), and the Grand Duke Mikhail to blow it out their asses.

March 15,1972 -
The greatest film ever about corporate management and pasta sauce making, The Godfather, premieres.



It's not personal, it's strictly business


And so it goes.