Wednesday, September 3, 2008

I guess Churchill was right

(even though he probably didn't say it.)



The only traditions of the Royal Navy are rum, sodomy and the lash.

Here's your (abbreviated) Today in History -



On September 3, 301, during an epic game of hide-and-seek, St. Marinus the Stonemason ran up Mount Titano in Italy to hide from the Roman Emperor Diocletian. It was a good hiding spot and he was never found. He started his own country to pass the time and the Republic of San Marino survives to this day.






On September 3, 1189, Richard Lionheart, an enthusiastic sodomite, was crowned King of England. The son of Henry II (no relation to Rocky II) and Eleanor of Aquitaine, Richard spent most of his ten-year reign abroad. For two of these years he was imprisoned by the Holy Roman Emperor, who was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an emperor, but a nasty little man just the same.



When Richard finally returned to English soil he discovered there had been Intrigues, some of which involved his brothers. He therefore crossed the channel and defeated France before dying from an arrow wound to the neck inflincted by an 11 year old boy.

He had only produced one son, and the most crushing defeat of Richard's tragic life was his discovery that the child was a little bastard.



On September 3, 1838, Frederick Douglass escaped slavery disguised as a sailor. Later he wrote about his experiences in a book called The Narrative Life of Frederick Douglass, the title of which may have diminished the effectiveness of his disguise. (Publishers thought The Narrative Life of a Burly Black Guy Dressed in a Tight Fitting Sailor Suit would have limited appeal outside certain fetishist circles.)

On September 3, 1939, Germany continued its invasion of Poland even though Britain had asked it very nicely to stop. This upset the British sensibility. They declared war on Germany, the official launch of World War II in Europe.



And so it goes

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