Ryan Seacrest bitten by shark

Ryan Seacrest apparently was bitten by a shark this weekend. While in some pain, Seacrest was alright. The Shark immediately went into convulsions and had to be euthanized. In lieu of chum, the family of the shark asks that donations be made to the World Oceanographic Society.

July 29, 1588 -


Phillip II of Spain sent his armadillo to invade England. This Spanish armadillo was defeated by the belly-buttons of Lord Howard and Sir Francis Drake in one of the greatest navel engagements of all time. The defeat altered the balance of power in Europe irreversibly and marked the last use of armadillos in navel warfare.



July 29 1921 -
The Council on Foreign Relations is incorporated in New York City by a group of bankers and other influentials, including John D Rockefeller. The CFR remains a vital component of the New World Order, and is surpassed in importance only by the Trilateral Commission. Now that you have this information, you know too much and you'll probably have to be killed.

July 29 1921 -
Adolf Hitler is selected as leader of the National Socialist Party. I'm guessing there have been some regrets concerning this election.



July 29 1941 -
The Grigglestone Colliery explodes, leaving 20 dead. I have no idea who or where or what this was -- but it did happen, and it bears repeating.

July 29 1968 -
Pope Paul VI issues encyclical Humanae Vitae, prohibiting all unnatural forms of birth control. He thereby answers the age-old question, "Does the Pope spurt in a condom?"

July 29 1974 -
Mama Cass Elliot, a very large part of The Mamas and the Papas, dies in London. Although initial reports ascribe the cause of death to choking on a ham sandwich, in actuality it was a heart attack.



And so it goes.