Dr. Caligari's Cabinet

The saddest video you may ever see

2012-01-28T09:45:00.003-05:00

It should be no real surprise that it involves Charlie Brown:

Somehow, find the will to live and continue reading

The word of the day is ...Serendipity - the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely.

The word derives from an old Persian fairy tale and was coined by Horace Walpole on 28th of January 1754 in a letter he wrote to his friend Horace Mann (not the same man as the famed American educator).

This should not be confused with Synchronicity - which is an album by the Police (but that's another story).

January 28, 1953 -
J. Fred Muggs joined NBC's Today Show on this date .

Please note: the more intelligent looking fellow sitting on the desk is Mr. Muggs

Today in History:
January 28, 814 -
First Reich: Charlemagne, German emperor, dies at the age of 71 on this date.

Though he had conquered much of Europe, his legacy was considerably reduced after his death from mismanagement and incompetence.

Coincidentally, The Siege of Paris, lasting from September 19, 1870 until January 28, 1871, bringing about French defeat in the Franco-Prussian War and led to the establishment of the German Empire (Second Reich).

Due to a severe shortage of food, Parisians were forced to slaughter whatever animals at hand. Rats, dogs, cats, and horses were regular fare on restaurant menus.

* Consommé de Cheval au millet. (horse)
* Brochettes de foie de Chien à la maître d'hôtel. (dog)
* Emincé de rable de Chat. Sauce mayonnaise. (cat)
* Epaules et filets de Chien braisés. Sauce aux tomates. (dog)
* Civet de Chat aux Champignons. (cat)
* Côtelettes de Chien aux petits pois. (dog)
* Salmis de Rats. Sauce Robert. (rats)
* Gigots de chien flanqués de ratons. Sauce poivrade. (rats)
* Begonias au jus. (flowers)
* Plum-pudding au rhum et à la Moelle de Cheval. (horse)

Even Castor and Pollux, the only pair of elephants in Paris, were not spared.

January 28, 1829 -
In Scotland, serial killer William Burke was hanged for murder following a scandal in which he was found to have provided extra-fresh corpses for anatomy schools in Edinburgh. His partner William Hare had turned king's witness.

If only he had gone for the less fresh corpses. The scandal led to the 1832 Anatomy Act.

January 28, 1958 -
Those damn little toys that you step on in the middle of the night became legal today.

The Lego company patented their design of modern Lego bricks, still compatible with bricks produced today.

January 28, 1958 -
Bizarrely on the same day, Brooklyn Dodger catcher Roy Campanella's career ended when he lost control of his car on a slick highway.

He became a parapalegic and was confined to a wheelchair the remainder of his life .

January 28, 1973 -
Barnaby Jones, starring Buddy Ebsen, premieres on CBS, on this date.

This was George Uttley's (Tom Poston) all-time favorite show in the sitcom Newhart. George would often quote Barnaby when faced with a problem and he needed sage advice to solve it.

January 28, 1977 -
Star of TV's Chico and the Man, Freddie Prinze has a violent allergic reaction to lead.

Despondent over his upcoming divorce and battling a major drug addiction, Prinze shooting himself in the head days earlier, he died on this day. He was 22 years old.

January 28, 1978 -
Fantasy Island, starring Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize, debuted on ABC television on this date.

The waterfall seen during the opening sequences is the real-life Wailua Falls in Kauai, Hawaii.

January 28, 1986 -
Space Shuttle Challenger disintegrates 74 seconds into its flight, killing teacher Christa McAuliffe and the rest of the crew. Their capsule plunged intact into the ocean, pulverizing everyone on impact, making a rescue attempt difficult, if not impossible.

The cause was later found to be failure of a booster rocket O-rings because of the cold weather .

Moral: Avoid rocket travel this week, if possible.

And so it goes.

Happy Crapper Day

2012-01-27T08:30:00.002-05:00

In popular American folklore, the British Mr. Thomas Crapper was the man who invented and gave his name to the flush toilet. Unfortunately, there is little historical evidence to support Mr. Crapper as anything but a friendly British plumber.

Thomas Crapper died on January 27, 1910. To honor this day and the spirit of the man, we can choose to embrace the legend of Thomas Crapper.

Thomas Crapper was born in 1839. He became a plumber. He invented the flush toilet, which is why people called it the "crapper," which eventually led to people calling the stuff they put into the toilet "crap."

It s concise. It s easy. It s elegant. Reject the truth, and give thanks this day for Thomas Crapper.

January 27, 1832 –
... Lewis Carroll is treated like a man you wouldn’t want your kids to meet,yet his stories are still presented as classics of pure, innocent literature. - Will Brooker, author of Alice’s Adventures: Lewis Carroll in Popular Culture.

Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, Anglican deacon, children's author, mathematician, and photographer (child pornographer?) was born on this date.

On January 21, 1901, the great maestro Joe Green (Giuseppe Verdi was merely his stage name) suffered a stroke while staying at the Grand Hotel et de Milan, in Milan. So revered was the composer that horses hooves were wrapped in blankets to muffle their noise as they passed the hotel where he rested.

Verdi gradually grew more feeble and died six days later, on this date. To date, his funeral remains the largest public assembly of any event in the history of Italy.

January 27, 1918 -
Tarzan of the Apes, the first Tarzan film, premiered at the Broadway Theater in NYC on this date.

Louisiana was chosen as the main shooting location because of the cooperation of the residents of Morgan City, the lush jungle vegetation, bayous, waterways, abundant black extras, and facilities such as hotels, a railway-serviced wharf and an adjacent storage warehouse. Young men from the New Orleans Athletic Club played the ape parts.

January 27, 1976 -
Laverne and Shirley, a spinoff from Happy Days, starring Penny Marshall as Laverne De Fazio and Cindy Williams as Shirley Feeney, premiered on ABC TV on this date .

David L. Lander and Michael McKean were originally hired as writers/consultants. They wrote themselves into the show as Squiggy and Lenny, two characters they created in college.

Today in History:
January 27, 1756 -
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Austrian musical genius, composer and fart joke lover, whose works included The Marriage of Figaro and The Magic Flute, was born on this date.

When Mozart died in 1791, probably of heart disease, he was buried in an unmarked pauper's grave.

January 27, 1859 -
Kaiser Wilhelm II, (Queen Victoria's first grandchild and first cousin to both King George V and Tsar Nicholas II) emperor who ruled Germany during World War I but was forced to abdicate in 1918, was born on this date.

Oh, those wacky royals.

January 27, 1900 -
Hyman Rickover, American admiral who is considered the "Father of the Atomic Submarine", was born on this date.

Creating a detail-focused pursuit of excellence to a degree previously unknown, Rickover redirected the United States Navy’s ship propulsion, quality control, personnel selection, and training and education, and has had far reaching effects on the defense establishment and the civilian nuclear energy field.

January 27, 1967 -
A launchpad flash fire in the Apollo I capsule kills the astronauts Gus Grissom, Edward H White and Roger B Chaffee at Cape Canaveral.

An investigation indicated that a faulty electrical wire inside the Apollo I command module was the probable cause of the fire .

January 27, 1992 -
Candidate Bill Clinton and Gennifer Flowers mutually accuse each other of lying about whether or not they had a 12 year affair.

Oh, that wacky Bubba

January 27, 2010 –
Howard Zinn, the Boston University historian and political activist who was an early opponent of US involvement in Vietnam and whose books, such as A People's History of the United States, inspired young and old to rethink the way textbooks present the American experience, died on this date today.

Go out and buy his book, if not for a kid you know, buy it for yourself.

And so it goes.

Better late than never

2012-01-26T20:26:00.002-05:00

I'm just getting to my posting for today - I'm still reeling over the news about Demi Moore and the whippits.

January 26
It's Republic Day in India and dancers from all over the nation gather in New Delhi every year on this day to dance in the huge National Arena and all along a five mile parade route.

It's Foundation Day in Australia as, well and commemorates the establishment of the first settlement at Port Jackson, now part of Sydney, in 1788. (The fleet was led by Captain Arthur Philip, who went on to establish the Colony of New South Wales, the first penal colony in Australia.) The day is filled with drinking, merriment and sodomy.

On January 26, 1979, Le Freak was on the top of the American charts.

It's nice to think there's a connection.

Today in History:
January 26, 1958 -
Ellen DeGeneres, actress, comedian and Cover Girl spokes model, was born on this date.

Ellen seems to have survived the whole American Idol fiasco unscathed.

January 26, 1962 -
Mafia boss Charles Lucky Luciano died of natural causes at the Naples airport. On the day of his fatal heart attack, Luciano had plans to sell the rights of his life's story to a movie maker. Luciano dropped dead as he was about to shake hands. The Mob disliked the idea and had tried unsuccessfully to change his mind. It has been hypothesized that Luciano's heart attack was a result of poisoning by the Mafia.

He was buried in St. John's Cemetery in Queens, New York after a federal court ruled his burial on United States soil could not be blocked on the grounds that a corpse is not a citizen of any country and is therefore not subject to immigration control or deportation laws.

January 26, 1979 -
Dukes of Hazzard premiered on CBS television with One Armed Bandits - (A shipment of slot machines is hijacked.)

High comedy indeed.

January 26,1979 -
70-year-old multibillionaire Nelson Rockefeller was stricken by a massive heart attack while giving dictation to his 27-year-old research assistant, Megan Marshack on this date. Some time after that event, Marshack had called her friend, news reporter Ponchitta Pierce, to the townhouse and it was Pierce who phoned 911 approximately an hour after the heart attack.

Much speculation went on in the press regarding a personal relationship between Rockefeller and Marshack. Rockefeller's will left Marshak $50,000 and the deed to a Manhattan townhouse.

January 26, 1984 -
A magnesium flash bomb at Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles ignited Michael Jackson’s hair during the filming of a Pepsi television commercial, causing third-degree scalp burns.

It is later reveals that unscrupulous doctors prescribe a full but highly unorthodox regiment of pedophilia to ease the singer’s wounds.

January 26, 1998 -
U.S. President Bill Clinton denies, on television, having had sexual relations with former White House intern Monica Lewinsky.

Sometimes, a blowjob is just a blowjob.

January 26, 1996 -
Insane madman millionaire John E. Du Pont shot Olympic wrestler David Schultz three times, killing him on this date. A two day police standoff follows at the Foxcatcher estate and wrestling compound, with SWAT teams biding their time under the assumption that Du Pont, an expert marksman, possessed an arsenal at his disposal.

Mr. Du Pont died in prison. Perhaps Mr. Du Pont has gone to a better place where greasing yourself up and rolling around a mat with another person in a unitard is not considered a crime against nature.

And so it goes.

Be kind to your web footed friends

2012-01-25T08:29:00.001-05:00

They're probably lost.
Solar flares could really disrupt life as we know it…who knew? Besides disrupting satellites, affecting astronauts in space, and creating communication issues for planes traversing the poles, (flights are being rerouted,) scientists have found that homing pigeons are becoming disoriented.

Scientist believe that the winged rats may use Earth’s magnetic field to navigate. The solar storm is distorting the Earth's normal magnetic field and the pigeons can no longer rely on their normal guidance system and may become lost.

So please, if you see a pigeon staggers around, direct him to the park.

It's the third day of the Lunar New Year
Families who had an immediate relative deceased in the past 3 years will not go house-visiting as a form of respect to the dead. The third day of the New Year is allocated to grave-visiting instead. Some people conclude it is inauspicious to do any house visiting at all, as it is believed that evil spirits roam the earth this day and hence it would be bad luck to be outdoors.

The third day is a good day for sons-in-law to pay homage to their parents-in-law. Bring offerings of mandarin oranges and sweet foods. Parents should give red envelopes filled with auspicious money to their sons-in-law. The third day is also a good day to propose marriage or to get married. The third day is not a good day to travel or go clubbing. It is not a good day to throw a party to celebrate. According to legend, the third day of the Lunar New Year is the day when mice marry off their daughters. Thus, on that night, people are supposed to go to bed early so that the mice can perform their wedding ceremonies.

January 25, 1951 -
The story of a little boy who would only talk in sound effects, Gerald McBoing-Boing, winner of the Oscar for best animated short subject for 1951, was released on this date.

In a poll of animators, film historians and directors conducted during the 90's, this cartoon was rated the ninth greatest cartoon short of all time.

January 25, 1961 -
Walt Disney's 101 Dalmations, premiered at Radio City Music Hall in New York City on this date.

Cruella De Vil was designed as a manic take-off on the flamboyant actress Tallulah Bankhead, as well as some of her personality quirks.

January 25, 1970 -
Robert Altman's Oscar winning film starring Donald Sutherland and Elliott Gould, M*A*S*H, premiered in NYC on this date .

The opening title sequence has a text that identifies the place as Korea. This was added at the insistence of the studio after director Robert Altman had removed every reference to Korea, intending it to be mistaken for Vietnam, which would reinforce the anti-war statement.

Today in History:
January 25, 1759 -
It's Robert Burns' birthday and people will be celebrating with a Burns Supper.

The Burns Supper is eaten all across Scotland each year on the anniversary of the national poet's birth. It consists of haggis and whiskey. It is customary for the host to read Burns' Ode to a Haggis at the dinner table, presumably as a diversionary tactic.

January 25, 1924 -
The first Winter Olympics were held in Chamonix, France .

Prior to this, figure skating and ice hockey had been events at the Summer Olympics. Few, if any, of the athletes survived those winter sports Summer Olympics, as the rinks continually melted. And you don't want to know about the injuries sustained during nude hockey games.

January 25, 1927 -
Antonio Carlos Jobim, composer and primary force behind the creation of the bossa nova style, was born on this date.

If you are in your mid 40's to early 50's, you probably wouldn't have been born without the help of this guy - go ask your parents.

January 25, 1938 -
Etta James, blues, soul, R&B, rock & roll, gospel and jazz singer and songwriter, was born on this date

Pour yourself a double and remember this great singer.

January 25, 1947 -
Anita Pallenberg, model, actress, fashion designer and bathtub companion to Mick Jagger, was born on this date.

January 25, 1947 -
Mobster Al Capone dies in Florida, released from Alcatraz , due to his declining health (his mind gone from long untreated syphilis.)

For the wages of sin is death

January 25, 1960 -
Actress Diana Barrymore, Drew's aunt, committed suicide by taking a combination of sleeping pills and alcohol on this date.

Go out and rent The Bad and the Beautiful (the Lana Turner character is based on Diana.)

January 25, 1971 -
Idi Amin Dada, everybody's favorite tyrant, comes to power in Uganda on this date.

Forest Whitaker won a Golden Globe award, a BAFTA, the Screen Actors' Guild award for Best Actor (Drama), and the Academy Award for Best Actor for his portrayal of this cannibal.

Hopefully, Forest isn't a method actor.

January 25, 1971 -
Charles Manson and three of his followers are convicted in Los Angeles of the Tate and LaBianca murders on this date.

All were sentenced to the gas chamber, with sentences commuted to life imprisonment when the death penalty was temporarily abolished.

January 25, 1990 -
An Avianca Boeing 707 ran out of fuel and crashed in Cove Neck, N.Y. on this date.

73 of the 161 people aboard were killed.

And so it goes.

Don't it make you want to rock and roll

2012-01-24T10:04:00.001-05:00

January 24, 1947 -

... I heard somebody singing sweet and soulful

On the radio, Mohammed's Radio.

Warren William Zevon, singer-songwriter and musician, was born on this date.

Remember kids - keep enjoying every sandwich.

It's the Second Day of Chinese New Year Festival -

One should eat dumplings today. Some Chinese will eat dumpling because its shape like ancient Chinese money - gold ingot. On this day, people pray to their ancestors as well as the Gods to bring them good luck and prosperity in the coming year. The married women visit their own houses in the second day. The second day is also considered as the birthday of all the dogs and so the people behave kindly to the dogs and feed them.

The 2012 Oscar nominations are out this morning

January 24, 1940 -
John Ford's film version of John Steinbeck's novel, The Grapes of Wrath, starring Henry Fonda, premiered in NYC on this date.

Henry Fonda, still struggling to became a big Hollywood star, tried to avoid being a contract player for 20th Century-Fox because he wanted the ability to independently choose his own projects (an increasing number of stars at the time were trying to gain such independence). But when the much-coveted part of Tom Joad was offered to him, Fonda hesitantly gave in and signed a contract to work with the studio for seven years because he knew it would be the role of a lifetime.

January 24, 1949 -

...I owe it all to little chocolate donuts.

John Belushi, actor and comedian, was born on this date.

Today in History:

January 24, 41 -

Roman emperor and crackpot Caligula is assassinated by his bodyguards. His last words apparently were, "I am still alive! Strike again."

Yeah, yeah, I know you know that the Roman Emperor Caligula made his horse a senator and a god, married his sister, slept with the horse, slept with the potted plants ...

I guess this guy got more unnatural things done in a day then most of us do in a lifetime.

January 24, 1848 -

James W. Marshall finds gold at Sutter's Mill near Sacramento, starting the California gold rush.

According to the Gold Institute less than 2 million ounce's of gold were mined during the height of the California Gold Rush in 1849.

January 24, 1908 -

The first Boy Scout troop is organized in England by its founder, Robert Baden-Powell, a man who enjoyed seeing and photographing naked boys swimming just a little too much.

It is odd that such a homophobic organization would be founded by a repressed homosexual.

January 24, 1927 -

Alfred Hitchcock, former titles writer for silent movies, releases his first film, The Pleasure Garden, in England.

Cinematographer Gaetano Ventimiglia hid the camera underneath Hitchcock's bunk, in an attempt to avoid Italian duties. The unexposed film was confiscated and the crew bought new film to shoot on location, seriously depleting the film's budget. Later, the confiscated film was returned.

January 24, 1978 -

The nuclear-powered Soviet Cosmos 954 satellite plunges through Earth's atmosphere and disintegrates, scattering radioactive debris over parts of Canada's Northwest Territories. Much of the satellite lands in the Great Slave Lake; only about 1% of the radioactive material is recovered.

Hey, I hope we all enjoyed that smoked salmon from Canada in the late 70's.

January 24, 1986 -

Note to Tom Cruise - nothing to read here, move on.

Crackpot and founder of the fraudulent Scientology movement, L. Ron Hubbard died on this date. His bad science fiction writing has grown alarmingly prolific in the years since his death.

And so it goes.

Hong Bao Na Lai!

2012-01-23T16:04:00.002-05:00

(Please be aware I will be celebrating Chinese New Year by recklessly shooting firecrackers in public locations for the next two weeks.)

Legend has it that in ancient times, Buddha asked all the animals to meet him on Chinese New Year. Twelve came, and Buddha named a year after each one. He announced that the people born in each animal's year would have some of that animal's personality. Those born in dragon years are innovative, brave, and passionate. Salvador Dali, John Lennon, and Mary-Louise Parker were all born in the year of the dragon.

Occupying the 5th position in the Chinese Zodiac, the Dragon is the mightiest of the signs. Dragons symbolize such character traits as dominance and ambition. Dragons prefer to live by their own rules and if left on their own, are usually successful. They’re driven, unafraid of challenges, and willing to take risks. They’re passionate in all they do and they do things in grand fashion. Unfortunately, this passion and enthusiasm can leave Dragons feeling exhausted and interestingly, unfulfilled.

January 23, 1950 -
Richard Dean Anderson, actor and love god of Patty and Selma Bouvier, was born on this date.

I shudder to think how Patty and Selma celebrate the day.

January 23, 1977 -
The twelve-hour miniseries Roots premiered on ABC-TV on this date.

For eight consecutive nights it riveted the country. ABC executives initially feared that the historical saga about slavery would be a ratings disaster. Instead, Roots scored higher ratings than any previous entertainment program in history.

Today in History:
January 23, 1897 -
Elva Zona Heaster was found dead in Greenbrier County, West Virginia on this date.

The resulting murder trial of her husband is perhaps the only case in United States history where the alleged testimony of a ghost helped secure a conviction.

January 23, 1948 -
John Huston's classic film, Treasure of Sierra Madre, starring Humphrey Bogart opens in NYC on this date.

Walter Huston, father of director John Huston, won the Academy Award for best supporting actor. John won for best direction. This was the first father/son win.

January 23, 1975 -
Barney Miller, a TV series set in a New York City police station in Greenwich Village, premiered on ABC TV on this date.

Many real-life police officers considered this the TV show that best depicted the reality of police life.

January 23, 1978 -
Terry Kath of band Chicago accidentally kills himself while pretending to play Russian Roulette in Woodland Hills.

The circumstances of his death gave him the dubious distinction of being one of the first celebrities to be nominated for a Darwin Award.

Moral: Remember guns don't kill - one bullet in the chamber does.

And so it goes.

Before I forget

2012-01-22T08:38:00.002-05:00

The great Etta Brown passed away the other day and I didn't want it to go unnoticed.

Perhaps someday a really good biographical film will be made about this fine singer.

I can't believe no one has thought of this before but a corruption trial in Cleveland is being covered in an unusual way - Puppet's Court:

All trials from now on should be covered this way.

January 22, 1968 -
The comedy show Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In, hosted by Dan Rowan and Dick Martin, premiered on NBC television on this date.

The show originally aired as a one-time special on September 9, 1967. It was such a phenomenal success that it was given a regular one-hour time slot on Monday nights, replacing The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Today in History -
Today is the birthday of Grand Duke Ivan III of Moscow, better known as Ivan the Great.

He was born in 1440 and became Grand Duke of Moscow in 1462. Although Moscow was a lot of fun, it was not yet Russia. Ivan was determined to remedy that shortcoming as quickly as possible: he had tsars in his eyes.

To enlarge his dominions he began nibbling at his smaller neighbors, paying an annual tribute to the Golden Horde of Tatars to keep them from nibbling at him. Having eventually swallowed most of his surroundings, Ivan decided in 1480 that it was time to stop paying the Golden Horde.

The Golden Horde reminded him that it was time for their annual tribute. Ivan ignored them.

The Golden Horde sent him polite reminders in the mail, but he ignored these also.

They sent reminders on brightly colored stationery embossed with the words PAYMENT PAST DUE, but Ivan, alas, remained indifferent.

Finally the Golden Horde marched against Ivan and he marched his own troops out to meet them. The two armies met, faced off, and simultaneously retreated.

This was a victory for Ivan, in that neither he nor his descendants ever paid tribute to the Golden Horde again. But it was also a defeat for Ivan, who was therefore denied the rank of tsar.

(The first real tsar of Russia was his grandson, Ivan IV, "the shooting tsar.")

January 22, 1521 -
The Holy Roman Emperor, Charles V commenced the imperial Diet of Worms, on this date, to address the issues Martin Luther brought up in his 95 Theses.

While worms in general are quite unpleasant to consume, most people were afraid to contridict the Emperor, so many people in Europe became Protestant.

It was on this date in 1807 that U.S. President Thomas Jefferson exposed a plot by his former vice-president and unconvicted murderer, Aaron Burr, to establish an empire in the southwestern part of the continent. Burr was eventually acquitted as a result of Chief Justice Marshall's tree-falling-in-forest ruling that treason wasn't treason unless someone was there to see it—along with someone else who saw the same thing. The vice-presidency was never the same.
From that date forward, retiring vice-presidents have been compelled to either retire into the political obsolescence of private life, where we can safely ignore them, or into the presidency, where we can keep an eye on them (or in Dick Cheney's case, get to run the government away from prying eyes.)

January 22, 1901 -
After 63 years, England stopped sales of the Queen Victoria postage stamps series and began the King Edward VII series on this date.

Alexandrina Victoria (Hanover, if she needed a last name) the Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland and Empress of India of the British Raj, finally gave up the ghost much to the relief of her 59 year old son Edward, permitting him to finally get a job.

January 22, 1905 -
Thousands of demonstrating Russian workers were fired on by Imperial army troops in St. Petersburg

on what became known as "Red Sunday" or "Bloody Sunday".

96 people were killed, and over 300 were wounded. This incident marks the beginning of the so-called 1905 revolution.

January 22, 1918 -
Manitoba, Canada film censor board decides to ban comedies, on the grounds that they make audiences too frivolous.

Canada does not fully recover their true frivolousness until the broadcasting of SCTV in the early 80's.

January 22, 1973 -
The Supreme Court in a 7-2 ruling handed down its Roe vs. Wade decision, which legalized abortion, using a trimester approach. The court ruled that a woman's right to privacy encompasses her decision to terminate a pregnancy.

Norma McCorvey, the anonymous Jane Roe, revealed her identity in 1989. She ended up having her 3rd baby that was the initial focus of the issue.

January 22, 1984 -
The future began today. The Apple Macintosh, the first consumer computer to popularize the computer mouse and the graphical user interface, was introduced during Super Bowl XVIII with its famous 1984 television commercial.

Now that Steve Jobs is gone, we can stop saying 'Hooray for Big Brother!!!'

And so it goes.

Apparently I'm very mistaken

2012-01-21T19:51:00.002-05:00

I have been locked out of my blog for most of the day for no particular reason (sorry for the late posting.)

According to Fox News, having multiple wives makes you more ready to be President.

I would have thought, that it would have helped Mitt

January 21, 1966 -
George Harrison married model/actress Patti 'Layla' Boyd whom he met on the set of the Beatles movie, Hard Day's Night.

The couple later divorced in 1974 and she married Eric Clapton (whom she divorced in 1989 .)

Today in History:
January 21, 1793 -
On a chilly Monday, stripped of all titles and honorifics by the republican government, citizen Louis Capet was guillotined in front of a cheering crowd in what today is the Parisian Place de la Revolution. The executioner, Charles Henri Sanson, testified that King Louis XVI had bravely met his fate.

An early urban legend has the King months earlier suggesting a slant and beveling of the blade, for better cutting action.

Sometimes, people should just keep their opinions to themselves.

January 21, 1908 -
New York City's Board of Aldermen passed the Sullivan Ordinance that effectively prohibited women from smoking in public.

Two weeks later the measure was vetoed by Mayor George B. McClellan Jr.

January 21, 1924 -
Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov (Vladimir I. Lenin) driving force behind the Russian Revolution of 1917 and the first great dictator of the Soviet Union dies from a massive stroke on this date.

Lenin, idolized during his life -- an icon after his death, helped along by an unusual effort to preserve his corpse. For decades after his death, Russians lined up in all weather to view Lenin's body on display in a glass container inside a special mausoleum in Red Square. A triumph of the embalmer's art, the corpse was removed on a regular basis for the special top-secret treatments that kept it looking remarkably lifelike.

I'm going to let you sick puppies go on your own to this site - you can enjoy the sight of the nude, mummified corpse of Lenin getting his rejuvenating bath.

January 21, 1957 -
Patsy Cline sang Walking After Midnight on Arthur Godfrey's nighttime television show, quickly launching her career

If only she sang Don't Go Flying in Inclement Weather, things might have been different.

January 21, 1959 -
Former Our Gang child star Carl 'Alfalfa' Switzer arrived at Moses "Bud" Stiltz's home in Mission Hills, California, to settle an alleged debt owed to Switzer.

Previously, Switzer had borrowed a dog from Stiltz which was lost, but eventually found, Switzer paying the man who returned the dog $50. Switzer went to Stiltz's house to collect the money "owed" him. He banged on Stiltz's front door, demanding that he let him in, flashing a fake police badge. Once Switzer got inside he and Stiltz got into an argument. Switzer informed Stiltz that he wanted the money owed him. However, when Stiltz refused to hand over the money, the two engaged in a physical fight. Switzer bashed Stiltz in the head with a lamp, which caused Stiltz to bleed from his left eye. Stiltz retreated to his bedroom and returned holding a gun, but Switzer immediately grabbed the gun away from Stiltz, which resulted in a shot being fired but neither man being hit. Then Switzer forced Stiltz into a closet, despite Stiltz having gotten his hands back on the gun. Switzer then allegedly pulled out a knife and was attempting to stab Stiltz with it. But just as Switzer was about to charge Stiltz, Stiltz raised the gun and shot Switzer in the chest. Switzer died of intense blood loss while on his way to the hospital. He was 31 years old.

Switzer's death was largely ignored in the media, mainly because director Cecil B. DeMille had died on the same day.

Kids, never loan a dog to a former child star.

January 21, 1960 -
The Little Joe 1B was a Launch Escape System test of the Mercury spacecraft, conducted as part of the U.S. Mercury program, on this date. The mission also carried a female Rhesus monkey (Macaca mulatta) named Miss Sam in the Mercury spacecraft. The six pound monkey survived the 8 minute 35 second flight in good condition.

Miss Sam retired from the space program and enjoyed a successfully career in the "Straw Hat" theatre circuit, starring in, among other things, The Little Foxes and A Doll's House.

January 21, 1968 -
A B-52 bomber crashes near Thule Air Base, contaminated the area after its nuclear payload ruptured. One of the four bombs remains unaccounted for after the cleanup operation is complete.

If you have the bomb, the US government would be happy to take it off your hands - no questions asked.

And so it goes.

New word of the day (to me, anyway.)

2012-01-20T08:39:00.004-05:00

Dysania:

Having difficulty getting out of bed in the morning.

Dear Newt,
When the New York Daily News refers to you as a 'PIG',

It may be time to fold up your tent and head on back to Tiffany's, where they'll welcome you with open arms and a very large open line of credit.

January 20, 1956 -
Bill Maher, actor, comedian, political analyst and professional pot smoker, was born on this date.

I recently watched (for professional reasons) a Murder She Wrote episode that guest starred a very young Bill (with a mullet, no less.)

January 20, 1941 -
Raoul Walsh's crime-drama High Sierra, starring Humphrey Bogart and Ida Lupino (remember, nobody messes with Ida Lupino) premiered on this date.

In addition to Hal B. Wallis, Humphrey Bogart also sent several telegrams to studio head Jack L. Warner, begging to be cast as Roy Earle. After Paul Muni left Warner Bros. in a contract dispute and George Raft also turned down the role, Warner called Bogart and told him the part was his...on the condition that Bogart stop sending him telegrams.

January 20, 1949 -
A surprise hit for writer/ director Joseph L. Mankiewicz (which garnered for him his first two Oscars,) A Letter to Three Wives, premiered on this date.

The identity of the actress Celeste Holm who did the voice-over for Addie Ross was kept secret when the film was released. The studio held a number of "Who is Addie?" contests around the country where moviegoers could guess the actress' name.

Today in History -
Jimmy Naismith was born in Ramsay township in Ontario, Canada in 1861. He grew up and eventually went to McGill University in Montreal. He became their Athletic Director and in 1891 he moved to Springfield, Massachusetts, to take a post at the YMCA Training School. It was there that he was confronted with the problem of developing a game that could be played indoors and in relatively little space.

On January 20, 1892, with only two peach baskets, a soccer ball, and a hand-written list of 13 rules, Dr. Naismith oversaw the world's first full game of a brand new sport, a sport that took its name from the peach baskets and soccer ball used to play it.

He had finally invented Peach Soccer (as opposed to Peachbasket - see January 15.)

January 20, 1936 -
King George V of England was euthanized with injections of cocaine and morphine, after a painful cancer illness on this date. His final words, a mumbled God damn you!, were addressed to his nurse when she gave him a sedative before his final lethal injection. His physician was motivated not only to ameliorate the king's suffering, but also to break the story in the morning edition of the newspapers, rather than the less appropriate evening journals.

Remember kids - Promptness is the politeness of kings.

At the procession to George's Lying in State in Westminster Hall, as the cortege turned into New Palace Yard, the Maltese Cross fell from the Imperial Crown and landed in the gutter. The new King, Edward VIII, saw it fall and wondered whether this was a bad omen for his new reign.

He would abdicate before the year was out.

January 20, 1920 -
Cinema is an old whore, like circus and variety, who knows how to give many kinds of pleasure. Besides, you can't teach old fleas new dogs.

Federico Fellini, director, screenwriter, producer, painter and cartoonist, was born on this date.

And so it goes.

You might need a better excuse

2012-01-19T08:30:00.002-05:00

Dear Captain Francesco Schettino,
Saying that you 'tripped and fell' into the life boat while over 200 passengers were desperately waiting to board
theirs, doesn't sound too good

Perhaps you should try, 'I chased my dog onto a life boat while he was eating my homework.' It has a more
plausible ring.

January 19, 1942 -
The first of nine films to feature Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn, Woman of the Year premiered on this date.

Katharine Hepburn wanted her first film with Spencer Tracy to go as smoothly as possible, so as a quasi-producer, she hired George Stevens, who she thought 'could talk about baseball' with Tracy.

January 19, 1949 -
Robert Palmer, blue-eyed soul singer, was born on this date.

January 19, 1952 -
In the first match-up between Wile E. Coyote and Bugs Bunny, Operation: Rabbit, premiered on this date.

Wile E. Coyote speaks for the first time (he describes himself as a "genius").

January 19,1953 -
68% of all television sets in the United States are tuned in to I Love Lucy to watch Lucy give birth to a baby boy - the same day Ball gave birth to her son, Desi Arnaz Junior.

All the while they couldn't say pregnant on TV or be seen sleeping in the same bed - it appears to be the second virgin birth. The audience for the program was larger than that watching the inauguration of President Dwight D. Eisenhower the following day.

Today in History:
January 19, 1809 -
Edgar Allan Poe (d.1949), American writer, was born in Boston.

His best known stories include: Fall of the House of Usher and The Tell-Tale Heart. His most famous poems are The Raven and Annabel Lee.

.
January 19, 1937 –
Bisexual, future germaphobe and aviator Howard Hughes designed and flew the plane Silver Bullet setting a landplane speed record and a transcontinental record of 7 hours, 28 minutes and 25 seconds,

flying from Los Angeles to Newark, New Jersey on this date.

January 19, 1957 -
Ernie Kovacs burst into the public consciousness with the comedy special, The Silent Show.

It was filmed for broadcast first, in color, on the NBC network in 1957. A second version of the show was created on videotape and broadcast November 10, 1961, on the ABC network.

Though both were broadcast in color, only B&W kinescopes of these shows survive, although an excerpt of the color show was aired as part of the NBC 50th Anniversary Special in 1976.

January 19, 1992 -
In Florida, the 64-year-old award-winning playwright Edward Albee was arrested on a Key Biscayne beach for indecent exposure. Charges were later dropped when it was determined that Albee had removed his swimming trunks only to rinse out the sand that was in them and had not done anything vulgar or immoral.

Thank goodness he didn’t try to touch his Tiny Alice.

And so it goes.

No, someone did not unplug your internet

2012-01-18T08:55:00.002-05:00

Many of your favorite sites might be dark today, find out why here

I did not know this - among the crowded field of lesser known candidates running for President are Robert Burck

a.k.a. The Naked Cowboy (running as an Independent.)

And Roseanne Barr (running on the "Green Tea Party" ticket.)

January 18, 1882 -
A quotation is a handy thing to have about, saving one the trouble of thinking for oneself.

Alan Alexander Milne was born on this date.

January 18, 1975 -
The Jeffersons, a spin-off of All In The Family premiered on CBS-TV on this date.

CBS never gave The Jeffersons a proper series finale. Sherman Helmsley found out about the show's cancellation by reading it in the newspaper. Isabel Sanford found out from a relative that called her, who had read it in a trade publication.

Today in History:
January 18, 1836 -
Knife aficionado Jim Bowie arrived at the Alamo to assist its Texas defenders on this date.

On January 18, 1871, while Prussian guns blasted all hell out of Paris, William I was proclaimed Emperor of a united Germany in nearby Versailles.

For this reason, the Germans have always had a soft spot for France, and have returned often.

January 18, 1892 -
Oliver Hardy, American comedian, actor and the other half the the world's greatest comedy duo, was born.

January 18, 1903 -
President Theodore Roosevelt sends a radio message to King Edward VII: the first transatlantic radio transmission originating in the United States.

Unfortunately, once again, the ill-chosen "Prince Albert in the can" joke is used - and 'Bertie', the King had already heard the joke ad nauseum (Prince Albert was his father and penis ring wearing enthusiast) and was not amused.

January 18, 1904 -
Cary Grant, noted actor and over the top orgy participant, was born on this date.

January 18, 1990 -
Rusty Hamer, the actor who played Danny Thomas's son on Make Room For Daddy, shot himself in the head with a .357 Magnum in DeRidder, Louisiana. Rusty was 42 years old.

Uncle Tonoose made him do it.

January 18, 1990 -
Washington DC mayor Marion Barry was arrested on cocaine possession charges at the Vista International Hotel, as he tokes on a glass crack pipe while being videotaped with his mistress Rasheeda on this date.

Kids remember, say no to drugs, especially while being videotaped.

And so it goes

This is the filthiest thing ever said on television

2012-01-17T09:04:00.002-05:00

(even Alex Trebek knows it. Listen to him quietly chuckle.)

But I'm not going to explain it. If you don't know, google it.

I can't believe I forgot this, yesterday was Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year.

Hopefully you didn't hang yourself yesterday and are reading this today.

Today in History:
It's a strange mix of birthday wishes today
January 17, 1706 -
Benjamin Franklin was born on this date.

The inventor of spectacles and the hundred dollar bill, Franklin was one of Washington’s first celebrated womanizers to avoid conviction. One day Franklin tied a key to the string of a kite that he then flew in a thunderstorm, thus discovering Electrolysis.

Franklin also invented the Post Office and can be credited with the creation of the first fully functioning disgruntled postal worker.

On January 17, 1806, President Thomas Jefferson's grandson James Madison Randolph became the first child to be born in the White House - his mother was Martha Randolph, one of President Thomas Jefferson's two daughters, this was her 8th child.

Sadly, no official records have been kept on the more interesting statistics of children conceived in the White House.

Also born on January 17 was Al Capone, in 1899. Chronic self-esteem problems in his early adolescence resulted in his turning to a life of crime in Chicago (where crime had by now trickled down from elected officials to the lower classes).

Capone was such a successful gangster that eventually Robert DeNiro had to play him.

In the end, Capone was captured by Elliot Ness and his Untouchables, who got their name from the fact that their busy schedules prevented them from changing their underwear

January 17, 1860 O.S. - which means Julian calendar. We celebrate his birthday on the 29th of January N.S. - which means Gregorian calendar. So it not really his birthday today but he's dead so I don't think he really cares.) -

Anton Chekhov was born in Taganrog, Russia.

Tragically, a bureaucratic snafu at the Kremlin resulted in Chekhov’s not being told he was one of the Great Russian Writers, so he practiced medicine well into middle life. By then, of course, he was almost good enough to quit practicing, but he’d also made a name for himself as a writer. As a doctor and writer of comedies, Chekhov originated the saying "laughter is the best medicine" (some of his tubercular patients disagreed, but they subsequently died, proving his point).

Chekhov’s greatest work is The Seagull, in which a young man kills a seagull, making his girlfriend cry and a lot of people with unpronounceable Russian names argue and wave pistols about.

Chekhov should not be confused with Chekhov, who was the security officer of the USS Enterprise,

and neither of them should be confused with Charo.

It's Betty White's birthday

Don't you hope you're that cool at half her age.

January 17, 1962 -
James Eugene Carrey, Canadian-American actor and rubber-faced comedian, was born on this date.

Now you figure out how all of those people are related

January 17, 1929 -
Popeye the Sailor Man, created by Elzie Crisler Segar, first appears in the Thimble Theatre comic strip on this date.

I yam what I yam

January 17, 1961 -
In his farewell address, President Eisenhower warned against the rise of "the military-industrial complex."

And yet, Patrice Lumumba, the first prime minister of Congo, was murdered after 67 days in office on this date. President Eisenhower allegedly approved the assassination of the prime minister by the CIA.

January 17, 1977 -
Convicted murderer Gary Gilmore is executed by a firing squad in Utah, ending a ten-year moratorium on Capital punishment in the United States.

Let's do it

And so it goes.

I have driven too far on the internet

2012-01-16T08:48:00.003-05:00

I've gone into the post-ironic realm - Scala & Kolacny Brothers singing an ABBA Medley

I need to hit myself in the head with an iron skillet in order to come to my senses.

This is National Nothing Day, set aside each year for people to sit around for the entire day and just hang out. No celebrating, observing or honoring anything.

It was created by newspaperman, Harold Pullman Coffin in 1972 and first celebrated in 1973. Please do continue read today's postings.

... At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love ...

Besides being a sales day at the Department Stores, it's Martin Luther King Day. To celebrate the day and the man, I'd like you to once again opine these words from his 1964 Nobel Lecture:

... Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meaning can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart.

Hopefully your life will be filled with many of these moments.

January 16, 1932
Funny and definitely risque, Paramount released the Betty Boop animated short, Boop-Oop-A-Doop, on this date.

Please - don't take her boop-oop-a-doop away - Betty is supposed to be just 16.

January 16, 1959 -
Helen Folasade Adu, OBE, singer-songwriter, composer, and record producer, was born on this date.

I have said it before and I'll say it again - one of the most beautiful women in the entertainment industry with a voice to match.

January 16, 1973 -
NBC-TV presented the 440th and final episode of Bonanza (which began airing on NBC on September 12, 1959) on this date.

By 1968, Dan Blocker began wearing a toupee on the series as he was approaching forty and losing hair. He joined the ranks of his fellow co-stars Pernell Roberts and Lorne Greene, both of whom began the series with hairpieces (Greene wore his modest frontal piece in private life too, whereas Roberts preferred not wearing his, even to rehearsals/blocking). Michael Landon was the only original cast member who was wig-free throughout the series, as even Victor Sen Yung's Hop Sing wore an attached queue (pony tail).

January 16, 1976 -
Peter Frampton's platinum live album, Frampton Comes Alive, was released by A&M Records.

The double LP soon reached the top spot of the album charts and stayed perched there for 17 weeks. It sold 19 million copies in its first year in the record racks . Peter has even more to celebrate this year, he was reunited with a guitar he used during the making a this album he thought he lost in 1980 in a plane crash years ago.

Today in History:
January 16, 1547 -
Ivan IV was crowned Tsar of Russia. . He is better known by his nickname: Ivan the Terrible. He was the first king of Russia to call himself a Caesar, probably in the hopes that Shakespeare would write a play about him.

He couldn’t pronounce Caesar, however, so he simply called himself "zar," and subsequent arguments over whether that should be spelled czar, tsar, zar, or tzar became so heated that they eventually resulted in Russian History.

January 16, 1908 -

Ethel Merman, actress, singer and the woman who learned love at the hands of Ernest Borgnine, was born on this date.

January 16, 1920 -
Please save some of your brain cells on this long weekend of binge drinking,

and remember that Prohibition went into effect in the U.S. on this date.

January 16,1939 -
The McClure Syndicate began distributing a Superman newspaper comic strip, which lasts until 1966 on this date.
The strip written by Jerry Siegel had the first use of the name Krypton and Superman's parents being originally called Jor-L and Lora.

January 16, 1942 -
Raising money for the war, actress Carole Lombard, her mother, 18 passengers and three crew, were killed when their plane crashed into Mount Potosi, 32 miles southwest of Las Vegas.

Lombard was much loved for her unpretentious personality and well known for her earthy sense of humor and blue language.

January 16, 1965 -
You finally get control back of the vertical and horizontal of your television set - ABC-TV aired the final episode of The Outer Limits on this date.

An example of a television network deliberately killing a popular series by moving it to an inappropriate slot on their schedule. This series was a big hit, especially among younger viewers. For the second season, ABC moved it from Monday nights to 7:30 Saturday. It was not only an inappropriate timeslot for younger viewers, it served as the lead-in for The Lawrence Welk Show and was scheduled opposite the highly popular Jackie Gleason and His American Scene Magazine on CBS. The series was pulled halfway into the second season.

January 16, 1991 -
Operation Desert Storm commences as Baghdad is pummelled live on CNN. Targeted with smartbombs are "command and control facilities" and Saddam Hussein himself.

We seem to miss both, but do manage to kill about 100,000 Iraqi soldiers in the surreal bombardments that follow.

And so it goes.

The reason for the three day weekend

2012-01-15T12:09:00.002-05:00

January 15, 1971 -
George Harrison unintentionally rewrites the song He's So Fine and releases it as My Sweet Lord on this date .

Harrison had "subconsciously" copied the old Chiffon song indeed. Silly Beatle.

January 15, 1977 -
The Coneheads at Home, featuring Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin, debut on Saturday Night Live on this date. For those of you too young to remember, The Coneheads at Home, was a recurring sketch on Saturday Night Live featuring a family of extraterrestrials with cone-shaped heads, from the planet Remulak, posing in the suburban United States as immigrants from France.

(Sorry but I can't find the clip)

The inspiration for the Coneheads came from a proposal by comedian Dan Aykroyd about pin-headed lawyers. This idea was shot down by the producers, fearing it might be offensive. A later trip to the Easter Islands in the South Pacific and the haunting images of stone head monoliths inspired Aykroyd to pen the series drawings that evolved into the Coneheads.

Today in History:
Most Americans believe that Martin Luther King, Jr, was born on the third Monday in January, but in our eagerness to celebrate the reverend’s accomplishments, we are overlooking two classic icons of American culture whose birthdays occur in the same week.

Unlike the venerable Reverend King, these two figures represent not the American Ideal but the American Reality and, as such, deserve our recognition. Therefore, in the tradition of President’s Day, that floating amalgamation of Lincoln’s and Washington’s birthdays that has at last become a kind of collective presidential birthday, let us choose one day this week to celebrate not only the two individuals whose identities will be revealed in a moment, but everything they represent. Let us take this one day a year to acknowledge all that is great in America, as personified by Charles Nelson Reilly (1/13/31) and Charo (1/15/51).

Why are they important? Because they represent everything magnificent about America in the last century, everything grand and glorious about our unique blend of liberty, commercialism, and shiny red sequin dresses. Charles Nelson Reilly made a career out of a weak chin, a few peculiar facial expressions, and a whiny sound that cannot be done justice on paper (but sounded something like "neeyeh!").

It might be said that Charo made her fame the old-fashioned way, by wriggling around in scanty clothes, but then how does one account for the millions of women who’ve shaken their hoochies and shimmied their coochies before and since with nary a guest appearance on Love Boat? No, Charo wasn’t simply a titillating nymphet, but a titillating nymphet who yelped and squealed like a dog in heat.

Very well, you say: maybe Charles Nelson Reilly made his fortune off a weak chin and "neeyeh," and maybe Charo made hers off a yelpy squeal, so what? What’s any of this got to do with America? Who cares?

I care and you should care. The important thing isn’t that they made their particular fortunes by means of those particular eccentricities, but that they were ABLE to do so. Our nation is great not because people like Charles Nelson Reilly and Charo succeed here, but because they CAN succeed here. It’s important to support the ideals of liberty and justice and equality before the law, but it’s just as important, nay, perhaps more important to celebrate the reality that we’re more than Democracy’s standard bearer, more than the defender of oppressed peoples, more than the "last best hope" we are unbelievably silly! We’re sillier than any other nation on the face of the earth, and it’s time to stop being ashamed. It’s time to stand up for silliness, and that is what I believe

(I only wish Adrienne Barbeau had been born on the same week - it would have been the perfect trifecta.)

January 15, 1759 -
The British Museum, one of the largest and most comprehensive in the world, opened to the public on this date.

Maybe someday they'll return the Elgin Marbles back to the kids in Greece (but that's another story.)

January 15 , 1892 -
A little magazine in Springfield, Massachusetts, first published the rules for a brand new game that involved tossing a ball into a high-mounted peach basket.

This was, of course, the precursor of what is today known as "Peachbasket,"

still as popular as ever in Springfield, Massachusetts.

January 15, 1919 -
In Boston an explosion opened a tank of molasses and the cylindrical sides top-pled outward knocking down 10 nearby buildings. 2 million gallons of molasses oozed onto the streets and killed 21 people. Another 50 were injured.

So yes, apparently, there are people slower than molasses in Boston.

January 15, 1943 -
Just outside of Washington, DC in Arlington , VA, The Pentagon was dedicated as the world's largest office building.

It covers 34 acres of land and has 17 miles of corridors.

Think what you could do to the DC sewer system if you could have a co-ordinated flush of all the toilets in the building?

January 15, 1947 -
A passerby spotted the nude body of Elizabeth Short, a 22 year old actress in a vacant lot near Hollywood. Her body, cut in half, was bruised and beaten. Grass had reportedly been forced into her vagina, and she had reportedly been sodomized after death. The case was dubbed The Black Dahlia murder and over the years as manner as 50 men and women have confessed to this gruesome crime yet it has never been solve.

For those of you with stronger constitutions than mine, you may go to here to view truly horrifying actual crime scene photos (you sick puppies.)

January 15, 1953 -
An out-of- control, 16-car train, Train #173, the Federal-Express train, suffers a near-catastrophic brake failure and crashed through the railroad terminal at Union Station in Washington, DC.

Thanks to the quick thinking and action of the engineers, there were only 87 injuries and zero fatalities.

Coincidentally this is the third anniversary of airline pilot Sully Sullenberger and his crew 's miraculous ditching into the Hudson River.

January 15, 1967 -
The Green Bay Packers beat the Kansas City Chiefs in Superbowl I.

Much to the dismay of television historians, all known broadcast tapes which recorded the game in its entirety were subsequently destroyed in a process of wiping, the reusing videotape by taping over previous content.

Oops.

January 15, 1967 -
Ed Sullivan, when he wasn't fall down drunk, swore a lot. He swore that his arch-rival, Walter Winchell was a goddamned bastard. He swore that his 'so called friend' J Edgar Hoover was a goddamned transvestite but surprising spry in his cha-cha heels. And he swore that those goddamned filthy limey boys , The Rolling Stones, would never return to his show.

Sullivan sobered up, looked at his rating when the Stones last appeared on his show and permitted that boys back on The Ed Sullivan Show, on this date. They were forced to change the lyrics of Let's Spend The Night Together to Let's Spend Some Time Together.

January 15, 1974 -
America once again, found it's thrill, on Blueberry Hill. The first episode of Happy Days (series) airs. Potsie sets Richie up with that Mary Lou slut.

As I'm sure you all remember, the Happy Days Pilot was shown as a segment of Love American Style.

January 15, 1981 -
Let's Be Careful Out There

Hill Street Blues premiered on NBC on this date.

The opening credit sequence was shot in Chicago, while the episodes were shot in Los Angeles. Location scouts said it was hard to find L.A. locations for the show because the locations could not have visible palm trees. The pilot script said the show took place in an unnamed Midwestern city. Throughout the show's seven year run, the exact name of the city was never mentioned.

January 15, 1983 -
Meyer Lansky, retired Jewish organized crime genius, (rumored to have photographic proof that J. Edgar Hoover was a homosexual; conspiracy theorists believed this was the reason Hoover wasn't aggressive in pursuing organized crime), died of a fatal nosebleed at Mount Sinai Hospital on this date.

It is not clear where Lansky's estimated $300 million fortune went.

Once again, what a way to go!

January 15, 2001 -
Happy Birthday Wikipedia.

Wikipedia was formally launched on this date, as a single English-language edition at www.wikipedia.com (now found here.)

And so it goes.

Happy New year (again)

2012-01-14T09:47:00.002-05:00

For those of you not following that new fangled Gregorian Calendar (and still keep stock with the Julian Calendar), it's January 1st. Happy New Year

I bet you were up all night partying like it was 1399.

There's no better way to celebrate the New Year than hearing some good music

I want to be able to swing like this when I'm 85.

January 14, 1952 -
On a cold East Coast morning at 7 a.m., NBC-TV opened the the first Today show broadcast with a shot of Dave Garroway looking outside through the 'Window on the World' in New York City. The broadcast also featured Jack Lescoulie as co-host.

The show would be a radical departure from the TV industry's accepted programming; a news, features, special events program that would run in the early morning. In pre-production, the show's proposed title was The Rise and Shine Revue.

January 14, 1967 -
Sonny and Cher, one of the big musical duos of the mid '60s released on of their biggest hits, The Beat Goes On, on this date.

The Beat Goes On was sung at Sonny Bono's funeral, and the phrase also appears on his tombstone.

January 14, 1972 -
Sanford and Son, featuring comedian Redd Foxx, whose last name was really Sanford, debuted on NBC television. Demond Wilson starred as Fred Sanford's son.

Redd Foxx and LaWanda Page had been friends since childhood, and she was his first and only choice to play Fred's sister-in-law Esther.

January 14, 1981 -
The FCC freed stations to air as many commercials an hour as they wish, and removed any obligation to allocate time for news or public affairs programming .

This was the date television died.

January 14, 1993 -
Talk show host David Letterman announced he was moving his late-night show after 11 years on NBC to sign a $16 million deal with CBS.

Coincidentally, seven years later, on January 14, 2000, he had quintuple bypass surgery.

January 14, 1990 -
The Simpsons episode Bart the Genius premiered on Fox television . This episode was considered the first official episode of the Simpsons, and FOX advertised it as such. The Christmas episode was considered as a special.

This is the first episode with the full intro. The first time we see Maggie scanned, she is worth $847.63.

Today in History:
January 14, 1858 -
Emperor Napoleon III (having the unusual distinction of being both the first titular president and the last monarch of France) and Empress Eugenie escape unhurt after an Italian assassin throws a bomb at their carriage as they travel to the Paris Opera to see Rossini's William Tell, Felice Orsini and his accomplices threw three bombs at the imperial carriage.

The first bomb landed among the horsemen in front of the carriage. The second bomb wounded the animals and smashed the carriage glass. The third bomb landed under the carriage and seriously wounded a policeman who was hurrying to protect the occupants. Eight people were killed and 142 wounded, though the emperor and empress were unhurt. Napoleon, ever the politician, realized that he and Eugenie had to proceed to the performance and appear in their box.

They really wanted to see the opera.

January 14, 1900 -
Speaking of opera, Giacomo Puccini's opera Tosca premieres in Rome.

January 14, 1956 -
Womp-bomp-a-loom-op-a-womp-bam-boom!

Little Richard released Tutti Frutti on this date.

And yet Pat Boone's cover of the song rose higher in the charts on it's initial release.

Stupid record buying public.

January 14, 1957 -
Humphrey Bogart, the Greatest Male Star of All Time, model for the Gerber baby and founding member of the Hollywood Rat Pack (a phrase coined by Lauren Bacall) finally decided to let the world catch up with his three drink lead and succumbs to cancer of the esophagus.

At his funeral, John Huston eulogized that:

... Bogart never took himself too seriously - his work most seriously. He regarded the somewhat gaudy figure of Bogart, the star, with an amused cynicism; Bogart, the actor, he held in deep respect. In each of the fountains at Versailles there is a pike which keeps all the carp active; otherwise they would grow overfat and die. Bogie took rare delight in performing a similar duty in the fountains of Hollywood. Yet his victims seldom bore him any malice, and when they did, not for long. His shafts were fashioned only to stick into the outer layer of complacency, and not to penetrate through to the regions of the spirit where real injuries are done....

January 14, 1980 -
The Blues Brothers movie with Dan Akroyd & John Belushi opened on this date.

103 cars were wrecked during filming. At time of release, this was a world record, not beaten until 104 cars were wrecked in filming Blues Brothers 2000 .

And so it goes

It's the first one of the year

2012-01-13T09:17:00.002-05:00

It Friday the 13th, there will be 3 of them (including this one.) Look out for those black cats.

It is supposed that the modern basis for Friday the 13th phobia dates back to Friday, October 13, 1307.

On this date, the Pope Clement in conjunction with the King Philip of France secretly ordered the mass arrest of all the Knights Templar in France. The Templars were terminated (burned to a crisp) for apostasy, idolatry, heresy, "obscene rituals" and homosexuality, corruption and fraud, and secrecy, never again to hold the power that they had held for so long.

Those wacky Knights were such party animals.

January 13, 1957 -
Back in the 1920s when Yale students invented a game of catch by tossing around metal pie tins from the Frisbee Baking Company in nearby Bridgeport, Connecticut. Building inspector Fred Morrison puttered with and refined a plastic flying disc that he sold to WHAM-O (for $1 million, which bought a lot of pies back then) in 1955. The Wham-O Company produced the first Pluto Platter on this date.

Wham-O changed the name to Frisbee in 1958, upon hearing the Yale pie-tin story. (Mattel now owns the rights to Frisbee, which has become an American icon.)

Today in History
January 13, 1832 -
Horatio Alger, Jr., pederast, minister and American children's author (Ragged Dick, Tattered Tom and Julius, the Street Boy out West ) was born, on this date.

Some novels, uncompleted at Alger's death, include Out of Business and Having to Walk the Streets, Nelson, the Randy Pegboy, Young Captain Jack and the Lonely Sea Men, Jerry, the Barefoot Backwoods Boy (who wore no undergarments under his britches), From Farm to Fortune (with nothing but bacon grease) and Joey, the Ruggedly Handsome Meat Delivery Boy.

(Stop snickering.)

January 13, 1862 -
President Lincoln names Edwin M. Stanton Secretary of War on this date. He vigorously pursued the apprehension and prosecution of the conspirators involved in Lincoln's assassination. These proceedings were not handled by the civil courts, but by a military tribunal, and therefore under Stanton's supervision.

Stanton was appointed by President Grant to the Supreme Court, but he died four days after he was confirmed by the Senate, and taking the oath of office on his deathbed, set the record for shortest tenure on the Court.

January 13, 1900 -
To combat Czech nationalism, Emperor Franz Joseph of Austria-Hungary decrees German the official language of the Imperial Army on this date.

This causes all of the Esperanto schools in Austria-Hungarian Empire to close.

January 13, 1910 -
Lee De Forest, the American inventor of the vacuum tube, demonstrates the first radio broadcast, a live performance of Cavalleria Rusticana with Enrico Caruso from the Metropolitan Opera, on this date.

The broadcast over a telephone transmitter could be heard only by the small number of electronics hobbyists who had radio receivers or could squeeze into telephone booths. De Forest started regular nightly concerts in 1915, increasing interest in radio receivers, which at the time depended on the vacuum tubes manufactured by De Forest's company.

How convenient.

January 13, 1919 -
California votes to ratify the prohibition amendment on this date.

Much heavy drinking ensued.

January 13, 1962 -
Ernie Kovacs was killed in an automobile accident when he lost control of his Chevrolet Corvair station wagon while turning fast. Crashing into a power pole at the corner of Beverly Glen and Santa Monica Boulevards, he was thrown halfway out the passenger side, dying almost instantly from chest and head injuries.

Kovacs may have lost control of the car while trying to light a cigar. A photographer managed to arrive moments later, and morbid images of Kovacs in death appeared in newspapers across the United States. An unlit cigar lay on the pavement, inches from his outstretched arm. (I'm not posting the photo - you Google it.)

Kids - smoking kills.

And so it goes.

2011 Word of the Year

2012-01-12T08:28:00.004-05:00

According to the American Dialect Society the WORD OF THE YEAR is:
occupy – verb, noun, and combining form referring to the Occupy protest movement.

MOST USEFUL
humblebrag – expression of false humility, especially by celebrities on Twitter.

MOST CREATIVE
Mellencamp – a woman who has aged out of being a “cougar” (after John Cougar Mellencamp).

MOST UNNECESSARY
bi-winning – term used by Charlie Sheen to describe himself pridefully, dismissing accusations of being bipolar.

MOST OUTRAGEOUS
assholocracy – rule by obnoxious multi-millionaires.

MOST EUPHEMISTIC
job creator – a member of the top one-percent of moneymakers.

MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED
cloud – online space for the large-scale processing and storage of data.

LEAST LIKELY TO SUCCEED
brony – adult male fan of the “My Little Pony” cartoon franchise.

January 12, 1934 -
George Cukor's star-studded extravaganza Dinner at Eight, went into general release in the US on this date.

The character played by Marie Dressler is reportedly based on actress Mrs. Patrick Campbell, for whom George Bernard Shaw wrote the role of Eliza Doolittle in the play Pygmalion.

Today in History -
If you were ever an alter boy or ever took Latin, I don't need to tell you what jacta alea est means. But if you're like most Americans, to whom Latin is about as familiar as Urdu, let me translate: it means the die is cast. At least that's how it's usually translated. Back in the early days of English, when the phrase was first translated, that's how they would have said "the dice are thrown."

This Latin snippet is important for a couple of reasons. Firstly because it demonstrates the popularity of gambling with dice in the ancient world, which is an important bit of trivia for keeping wayward adolescents interested in the classics; secondly because it's a short little Latin phrase you can drop into conversation to impress snobs; thirdly because the event of its utterance changed the course of western civilization for ever.

The line was uttered by Julius Caesar on this very date in 49 BC. Caesar and his army had just crossed the Rubicon, a little stream in northern Italy. The Roman Senate had long ago established a rule that Roman citizens should be forbidden from crossing the the Rubicon with their armies, since they figured anyone coming south toward Rome with an entire army probably wasn't up to any good.

(If the Roman Senate had really wanted to play it safe, maybe they should have designed the infrastructure of their empire so that all roads didn't lead to Rome - but that's beside the point.)

You may be wondering why Caesar would set out to break the law this way. He had, after all, been a popular and successful general and had been governor of Gaul for some time. But that's exactly why he decided to cross the Rubicon: he had become so popular and so powerful that the Roman Senate ordered him to disband his army and give up Gaul. Which has always made me wonder why the Roman Senate didn't say jacta alea est after issuing their demands. Maybe they were just too eager to get back to their dice.

Anyway, by crossing the Rubicon, Caesar had officially committed treason and launched the Roman Civil War. I've also saved you several hours of watching DVD's of the series Rome. Except for the naked parts.

The rest is history.

January 12, 1865 -
General William T. Sherman issues Special Field Order No. 15, entitling the household of each freed slave "a plot of no more than forty acres of tillable ground" along the Carolina coastline between Charleston and Jacksonville.

After the Confederate surrender, the Johnson administration makes a halfhearted attempt to follow through on the acreage, but all efforts to parcel out the land in question are abandoned just a few months later.

January 12, 1928 -
Ruth Snyder became the first woman to die in the electric chair. She was electrocuted by “state electrician” Robert G. Elliott at Sing Sing Prison in Ossining, New York, along with Judd Gray, her lover and co-conspirator, for the murder of her husband, Albert on March 20, 1927. This was billed in the press as “The Dumb-Bell Murder.”

The case was the inspiration for the novel Double Indemnity by James M. Cain, which was later adapted for the screen by Billy Wilder and Raymond Chandler. Cain also mentioned that his book The Postman Always Rings Twice took inspiration from the crime.

January 12, 1944 -
Probably Alfred Hitchcock's most underrated film, Lifeboat, opened in NYC on this date.

Tallulah Bankhead was cast in the film because Alfred Hitchcock wanted to use "the most oblique, incongruous person imaginable in such a situation".

January 12, 1966 -
Holy homoeroticism!!!

ABC premiered the brightly colored underwear wearing, perfectly genitally arranged comedy Batman on this date.

I'm not sure if it's still on the same bat channel though.

January 12, 1971 -
Oh Geez, stifle yourself. The first episode of All In The Family made television history by broadcasting the sound of a toilet flushing.

This is not, however, the first time a toilet tank is seen on television. That honor goes to Leave It to Beaver premiere episode, Captain Jack back in 1957.

January 12, 2010 -
A powerful 7.0 earthquake hit Haiti and crushed thousands of structures, from schools and shacks to the National Palace. Thousands of people were believed dead and untold numbers were trapped. An estimated 3 million people were in need of emergency aid.

The quake left over 200,000 people dead. Some 4,500 prison inmates escaped during the earthquake. By April they were terrorizing neighborhoods and fighting turf battles.

And so it goes.

Begin hoarding your Twinkies (again)

2012-01-11T08:00:00.002-05:00

Hostess Brands Inc. is preparing to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection as soon as this week, a move that would mark the second significant court restructuring for the Twinkies and Wonder Bread baker in the past several years.

Don't worry about the freshness, the little yellow cakes will remain soft and fluffy forever.

January 11, 1958 -
Lloyd Bridges starred as Mike Nelson, not the janitor trapped on a satellite, forced to watch cheesy movies (and mad scientists probed his mind) but a trouble shooting ex-Navy frogman on Sea Hunt on CBS-TV. The show ran for four years.

Lloyd Bridges decided to leave the show after four seasons because the producers wanted to emphasize cops-and-robbers plots while Bridges wanted to focus more on environmental themes.

January 11, 1966 -
The children's adventure-series Daktari, debuted on CBS TV on this date.

Erin Moran's (you remember Joanie from Happy Days) first major role was as "Jenny Jones" on Daktari. She played a seven-year-old orphan (although Erin was actually only five-years-old at the time) who was given a home by Dr. Tracy.

January 11, 1971 -
Mary Jane Blige, eight-time Grammy Award-winning and Golden Globe-nominated American R&B singer-songwriter rapper, record producer, and actress, was born on this date.

Today in History -
Harry Gordon Selfridge was born on January 11, 1864. Though American-born, he is best known as the founder of the British store Selfridge and Co., Ltd (think Macy's, for those of you unfamiliar with the store). He receives little or no attention here in the United States. His name does not appear in any textbooks, he is not honored with any holidays, his image does not appear on any currency, and his biography has never aired on A&E. And yet Mr. Selfridge's philosophy has had more impact on western civilization than a dozen Aristotles.

His great maxim is uttered carelessly by a million voices every day, is enshrined in the halls of commerce and government alike, and has permeated our culture to the point where it has become a cliche. Like most successful ideas, we can hardly imagine that his concept was ever new or controversial; we must strain our imaginations to conceive a world unilluminated by his wisdom.

It was Mr. Selfridge's philosophy that "the customer is always right."

Mr. Selfridge's birthday should be celebrated throughout western civilization as a holiday of emancipation, no less significant than the signing of the Magna Carta, the drafting of the U.S. Constitution, or the invention of microwave popcorn.

January 11, 1878 -
Milk was first delivered in bottles by milkman Alexander Campbell, in New York on this date.

Previously, one had to keep a cow in a spare room of their apartment making taking out the trash a mandatory daily occurrence.

January 11, 1940 -
The classic newspaper comedy, His Girl Friday, starring Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell, premiered in New York on this date.

One of the first, if not the first, films to have characters talk over the lines of other characters, for a more realistic sound. Prior to this, movie characters completed their lines before the next lines were started.

January 11, 1943 -
President Franklin D. Roosevelt flew to Morocco for a top-secret meeting with British Prime Minister Winston Churchill. He had not flown since 1932, when he traveled from Albany, New York, to Chicago to accept his nomination at the Democratic national convention.

No U.S. president had previously flown while in office because the Secret Service regarded flying as a dangerous mode of transport.

Did you know?
Francis Julius Bellamy, a Baptist minister from New York wrote the bulk of the Pledge of Allegiance back in 1891.

You never know, this might come up.

And so it goes

Today's friendly political advice

2012-01-10T08:00:00.001-05:00

No matter what the context,

If you are a millionaire, who has made his millions gutting companies and feasting on their entrails, never say, I like being able to fire people - it's very poor form.

Say Happy Birthday to 45 RPM's -

The term for the record format introduced by RCA on January 10, 1949. This soon became the standard format used for vinyl “singles” for several decades. (Kids, RPM stands for “revolutions per minute.”)

Just think, all that pleasure with 7".

January 10, 1952 -
Cecil B. DeMille's circus extravaganza, The Greatest Show on Earth, opened on this date.

The film did well at the box office and went on to win Oscars for Best Picture and Best Writing.

January 10, 1964 -
The American version of the British program That Was The Week That Was (TW3), a weekly show of topical political satire, premiered on NBC-TV on this date.

Singer Nancy Ames, Buck Henry, Pat Englund and Alan Alda were among the regulars. The show proved equally groundbreaking in the United States and, like the British version, was no stranger to controversy.

Today in History:
Common Sense was a pamphlet written by Thomas Paine. It was first published anonymously (not that Tom didn't know his name - it was theoretically punishable by death to denounce the crown and Tom wasn't quick looking for death at that time) on January 10, 1776, before the American Revolution. Paine wrote it with editorial feedback from Benjamin Rush, who came up with the title.

The document denounced British rule, and through its immense popularity contributed to fomenting the American Revolution. The second edition was published soon thereafter. A third edition, with an accounting of the worth of the British navy, an expanded appendix, and a response to criticism by the Quakers, was published on February 14, 1776.

January 10, 1870 -
Victor Noir, French journalist, was killed by Prince Pierre Bonaparte. Noir had called on him with a companion to present his editor's challenge to a duel because of a journalistic dispute concerning Corsican politics. Bonaparte was so insulted to have been approached by mere "menials" (his phrase, apparently) that he slapped the hapless 22-year-old in the face, pulled out a pistol and shot him on the spot.

Over 10,000 people attended his funeral and public sentiment over Noir's death forces Napoleon III to abdicate. A statue of Noir s prostrate figure became a magnet for infertile women rubbing themselves against him as a sexual charm.

Once again, the french they are a funny race.

January 10 1883 -
A fire at the six-story Newhall Hotel in Milwaukee kills more than 71 people. For years this was considered one of the worst single structure fires in the United States.

Two famous midgets residing there, General Tom Thumb (Charles Sherwood Stratton) and his brother-in-law Commodore Nut, are rescued by firefighters.

January 10 1927 -
The film Metropolis premiered in Berlin on this date. It was the most expensive silent film of the time, costing approximately 7 million Reichsmark to make.

While that seems like a very large sum of money due to the incredibly crushing inflation running rampant in Germany at the time, you could also just about buy a decent loaf of marble rye with that amount of money.

January 10 1948 -
Donald Fagen, singer and front man of the rock band Steely Dan, was born on this date.

In spite of themselves, Steely Dan was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in March 2001.

January 10 1982 -
You could no longer go to Paul Lynde to block on this date. Mr. Lynde was found dead of a heart attack, naked and holding a bottle of poppers in his West Hollywood home.

Mr. Lynde's bed companion, it appears, neglected to call 911 to report the emergency.

Kids, remember don't count on that hustler to call the paramedics for you (that's always extra.)

January 10 1984 -
Cynthia Ann Stephanie Lauper became the first female recording artist since Bobbie Gentry (1967) to be nominated for five Grammy Awards: Album of the Year, Best New Artist, Best Pop Vocal Performance (Female), Record of the Year and Song of the Year on this date.

She may be unusual but Cyndi is still going strong more than 25 years later.

And so it goes.

Enjoy the start of your week

2012-01-09T07:56:00.000-05:00

The is no better way to start the week than singing along with Ren and Stimpy -

... I TOLD you I'd shoot! But you didn't believe me! WHY DIDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME?!...

Today in History:
January 9, 1768 -
The first modern circus opened in London. English cavalry sergeant Philip Astley staged the first modern circus, performing elaborate feats on the backs of horses racing around a ring.

And people paid good money to smell horse manure in a theatre.

It's the birthday of the 37th president of the United States, Richard Milhous Nixon, (born in Yorba Linda, California on this date in 1913. He had a childhood full of tragedy and disappointment.

When Nixon was 12, his older brother had a vision of young Dick's future and got a headache that turned out to be meningitis. He died a month later. Nixon said that he cried for weeks afterward. A few years later, Nixon's other brother caught tuberculosis and spent five years in a cut-rate sanitarium before he died. The cost of his treatment drained the family's resources, and Nixon had to turn down a partial scholarship to Harvard. He did get a full scholarship to Duke Law School, but he had to live in a one-room shotgun shack with no plumbing or electricity. He was forced to shave in the women's room of the Duke University library and bathe in a local bird bath.

Nixon's luck only began to change when he decided to join the military during World War II. Although raised a Quaker - morals never seemed to stand in his way. Nixon was interested in politics, and he knew that military service would look good on his résumé. One of the many things he learned in the military (besides compiling lists of his enemies) was that he was a fantastic cheat at poker. By the end of the war, he had earned almost $10,000. When he got back to civilian life, he used that money to fund his first political campaign.

He managed to win his first election for Congress, and he served as vice president under Dwight Eisenhower. Eisenhower suffered from heart problems and Nixon would try to entertain the ailing President by jumping out from behind the furniture shooting, "Boo" or "Oh My God, the Communists have begun bombing New Haven". Nixon was defeated for the presidency by John F. Kennedy in 1960 due in part to a perceived lack of personal hygiene. Then, in 1962, he lost a campaign for governor of California, and suddenly it seemed like his career was over. But just six years later, he was elected president of the United States.

His policies as president were surprisingly liberal by today's standards. He began arms control agreements with the Soviet Union and eased relations with China. He established the Environmental Protection Agency, expanded Social Security and state welfare programs, and he tried to create a national health insurance system.

The Watergate investigations eventually forced Nixon to resign in 1974. At his last meeting with his Cabinet in 1974, Nixon burst into tears.

He told them, "Always give your best, never get discouraged, never be petty. Always remember, others may hate you, but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them, and then you destroy yourself."

Also born on this date -
January 9, 1911 (or 1913) -
Rose Louise Hovick, actress, ecdysiast and writer, was born on this date.

Sing out Louise!!!

January 9, 1915 -
When a person has an accent, it means he can speak one more language than you.

Fernando Álvaro Lamas y de Santos, actor and director, was born on this date.

January 9, 1981 -
Jesus saves and (insert your favorite sports figure here.)

Hockey Hall of Famer, Phil Esposito, said he would call it quits as a hockey player after the New York Rangers-Buffalo Sabres hockey game. It was a game that seemed like it might never end - both teams skated to a 3-3 tie. Esposito quit the New York Rangers and went on to become General Manager and coach of the Rangers. Phil Esposito played for the Boston Bruins when he won the Hart Memorial Trophy for Most Valuable Player in the NHL in 1969 and 1974 and helped lead the Bruins to two Stanley Cup Championships in 1970 and 1972 .

And so it goes.

Who's this kinky so-and-so?

2012-01-08T08:00:00.000-05:00

We've been winding down the holiday celebrations at our house, drinking too much wine and playing old LPs and such (yes kids, actual albums - ask your folks what the are.) One of the old 'acetates' we played was The Royal Scam, (the old Steely Dan Classic.) I thought I share this one with you -

Alright, you may go about your business.

Both Elvis the King (who was born on this date in 1935,)

(As I always say - lay your hand upon the screen and feel his power emanate from your loins.)

And Davy Jones (who was born on this date in 1947 - I hope where I'm 65, people can touch the scren and feel me heal them them their loins)

were both born on this date.

January 8, 1973 -
Carly Simon received a gold record for the single, You're So Vain on this date.

It's pretty much agreed upon that she is singing about David Geffen. Unless, of course, it's about Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger, Kris Kristofferson or Cat Stevens or ...

Today in History -
The Battle of New Orleans took place on January 8, 1815 and was the final major battle of the War of 1812. American forces, with General Andrew Jackson in command, defeated an invading British Army intent on seizing New Orleans and America's vast western lands.

Unfortunately the war ended with the signing of The Treaty of Ghent on December 24, 1814. News of the peace would not reach New Orleans until February.

Oops

The only 'recognized' monarchy to reign in the United States died on this date.

Joshua Norton was a businessman in San Francisco in the 1800's. In the 1840's, just before the Gold Rush, he tried to corner the market on rice and failed. He went from being very wealthy to being destitute overnight and the experience completely shattered his reason. A couple of months after this event, he put on a formal admiral's uniform, complete with gold braid and epaulets and strode in to the office of the newspaper. He handed the editor a large, official looking proclamation which stated in quite formal language that, due to popular demand, he hereby declared himself Emperor Norton I of San Francisco, California, and Mexico. He bade all his subjects show him loyalty and the other courtesies due a person of such eminent stature.

On the evening of January 8, 1880, Joshua Norton collapsed on the corner of California Street and Dupont Street (now Grant Avenue) while on his way to a lecture at the Academy of Sciences. His collapse was immediately noticed by another citizen who raised the alarm, and "the police officer on the beat hastened for a carriage to convey him to the City Receiving Hospital."Norton died before the carriage could arrive.

Norton's funeral was a solemn, mournful and large affair. Some accounts report that as many as 30,000 people lined the streets to pay homage, and that the funeral cortege was two miles long. He was buried at the Masonic Cemetery, at the expense of the City of San Francisco.

The day after his funeral, January 11, 1880, the San Francisco skies were blackened with a solar eclipse.

January 8, 1992 -
George Bush, sick with the stomach flu, decided to revenge the US for the raid of Pearl Harbor at a Tokyo state dinner. He vomited in the lap of the Japanese Prime Minister while cameras are rolling, to the great amusement of everyone except the Prime Minister.

Sushi, anyone?

And so it goes.

Start mulching your Christmas trees today

2012-01-07T13:20:00.002-05:00

Remember that most of a pine tree is actually edible.

And yet, do you really want wood chips stuck in your colon for most of the year?

This year, MulchFest will take place on January 7 and 8, 2011 (in NYC.) Parks will host 35 chipping sites and 35 additional drop-off locations: 70 sites in all!

Today in History:
January 7, 1800 -

Millard Fillmore, 13th President of the United States, was born on this date. (Often cited as one of the 10 worse Presidents because he backed the Compromise of 1850 that delayed the Southern secession by allowing slavery to spread.

And no, he didn't install the first bathtub in the White House, that was a hoax by Henry Louis Mencken.

January 7, 1894 -
William Kennedy Dickson receives a patent for the first practical celluloid film and decided on 35 mm for the size, a standard still used.

The earliest surviving copyrighted motion picture, the Edison Kinetoscopic Record of a Sneeze is a short film made by W. K. L. Dickson in January 1894 for advertising purposes. Often referred to as Fred Ott's Sneeze, this is is one of the world's earliest motion pictures and America's best known early film production. The star is Fred Ott, an Edison employee known to his fellow workers in the laboratory for his comic sneezing and other gags.

January 7, 1912 -
Charles Addams, cartoonist known for his particularly black humor and macabre characters, was spawned on this date.

January 7, 1943 -
The world's greatest inventor, Nicola Tesla, died alone in room 3327 of the New Yorker Hotel, of heart failure on this date in history.

Despite having sold his AC electricity patents, Tesla died with significant debts on the books.

January 7, 1957 -
Katherine Anne Couric, TV news host and colonoscopy spokes model, was born on this date.

January 7, 1967 -
The Newlywed Game premiered on ABC TV on this date.

I know your thinking about it - where was the most unisual place you and your husband made whoppee?

January 7, 1999 –
This is not a great day for Bubba - The impeachment trial of President William Jefferson Clinton began on this date.

It was only the second impeachment of a President in American history, following the impeachment of Andrew Johnson in 1868.

And so it goes.

OK folks, the holidays are official over -

2012-01-06T07:57:00.001-05:00

take the damn decorations down.

Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world. - John Milton

It's the Feast of the Three Kings (Gaspar, Melchior and Balthazar), Little Christmas, etc. If you're playing the home version of the game - the Gifts of the Magi were Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh (or the watch fob and a set of combs would have been an acceptable answer.)

... The magi, as you know, were wise men--wonderfully wise men--who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. O all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the magi. - O. Henry

May your day be filled with small moments of infinite joy and wisdom.

January 6, 1945 -
Another fine Chuck Jones Looney Tunes outing, Odor-able Kitty, premiered on this date .

This was Pepe LePew's debut.

January 6, 1963 -
Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom with Marlin Perkins began on NBC on this date .

See Jim try to swim to his dugout canoe through a lake of piranhas, while I watch safely from the studio, stirring the fresh ice in my second pitcher of martinis

January 6, 1973 -
The animated lesson series Schoolhouse Rock premiered on ABC with the Multiplication Rock series.

So kids, this is why a threesome is so special.

January 6, 1979 -
Soul Man, recorded by comedians John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd as the fictitious singing team, The Blues Brothers, debuted on Billboard's pop charts.

The Blues Brothers had originally been created for TV's Saturday Night Live, and had been so popular that it prompted several records and a movie with Jake and Elwood Blues. Soul Man peaked at No. 14 on the charts .

Today in History:
January 6, 1856 -
Sherlock Holmes, noted English apiarist, morphine and cocaine addict and sometimes detective, was born on this date.

"Elementary, my dear Watson", (was never actually said by Holmes.)

Franklin Pierce, served as the 14th President of the United States. Most historians agree that he was the worst President ever (time will tell) and after the Presidency, Pierce became a hopeless alcoholic (once running over an elderly woman while driving a carriage intoxicated.)

He started his presidency in a state of grief and nervous exhaustion. Two months before he took office, on January 6, 1853, the President-elect's family had boarded a train in Boston and shortly there after been trapped in their derailed car when it rolled down an embankment near Andover, Massachusetts. Pierce and his wife survived, merely shaken up, but saw their 11-year-old son Benjamin crushed to death.

Not a great way to start a new job.

January 6, 1994 -
Ice skater Nancy Kerrigan was attacked by Tonya Harding's bodyguard, Shane Stant on this date.

"Why? Why?"

And so it goes

Yes Virginia, Christmas is nearly over

2012-01-05T08:05:00.002-05:00

It the eve of the Epiphany - you may begin to put your decorations away.

The final gift tally: you would have received 12 drummers drumming, 22 flutist, 30 members from the house of Lords, hopping and bopping to the Crocodile Rock, 36 Fan dancers, 40 angry dairy workers, on permanent coffee break, 42 Swans, trying to mate in your dining room (avert the childrens eyes) , 42 geese a' laying, 40 golden rings, 36 calling birds, 30 French hens, 22 turtledoves and 12 partridges in their respective pear trees.

Take the rings, set fire to the house and start a new life.

January 5, 1944 -
Another great movie from Preston Sturges, The Miracle of Morgan's Creek, premiered on this date.

Once you understand the internal logic of the movie, you can't believe he snuck it past the censors.

January 5, 1961 -
Mr. Ed, the talking horse (with a daily diet was twenty pounds of hay, washed down with a gallon of sweet tea.,) debuted on CBS-TV on this date.

The show starred Alan Young as Ed's owner, Wilbur Post. Wilbur's wife, Carol, was played by Connie Hines. The voice of Mr. Ed was Allan 'Rocky' Lane.

January 5, 1969 -
Brian Hugh Warner was born on this date.

He's such a nice boy.

Today in History -
Sometimes, it's not so good to King (or his potential assassin either.) Louis the XV wasn't the most incompetent or profligate spending monarch.

The spending at the court of Louis XV was not any higher than under previous French kings, and certainly much lower than in some other European courts, such as in Russia, where Peter the Great and Empress Elizabeth spent enormous amounts of money to build palaces in and around Saint Petersburg. Court spending also helped to carry French arts to their zenith under Louis XV, and supported thousands of families of artists and craftsmen. Yet at the time the French public (the great unwashed), influenced as it was by a violent campaign of libels against the king and the Marquise de Pompadour starting in the mid-1740s, could only see royal incompetence and spending sprees. This was what may have inspired the assassination attempt on the king by Robert Damiens.

On January 5, 1757, would-be assassin Damiens entered the Palace of Versailles, as did thousands of people every day to petition the king. As the king was walking in the Marble Courtyard between two lines of guards lighting the way with torches, headed toward his carriage, which was waiting at the edge of the Marble Courtyard, Damiens suddenly emerged from the dark, passed through the guards, and stabbed the king in the side with a penknife. The 3.2 inch blade entered the king's body between the fourth and fifth ribs. The king, who was bleeding, remained calm and called for a confessor as he thought he would die. Thoughts of poison came to his mind. At the sight of the queen, who had come in a hurry, he asked for forgiveness for his misbehavior (Louis, as was the habit of most kings of his time, slept with anything that had an orifice). However, the king survived. He was probably saved by the thick layers of clothes he wore on that cold day, which cushioned the blade, protecting the internal organs. Allegedly, the blade penetrated only 0.4 inch into the king's body, leading Voltaire to mock what he called a "pinprick".

Damiens, who was mentally unstable, had been a servant of members of the Parliament of Paris where he had heard much criticism of the king. This, combined with the violent pamphlets and general discontent with the king, convinced him that he had to commit regicide in order to save France. In any case, it was the first attempt at regicide in France since the murder of King Henry IV by Ravaillac in 1610. The king, bent on forgiving Damiens, could not avoid a trial for regicide.

Tried by the Parlement of Paris, Damiens was executed on the Place de Greve on March 28, 1757, following the horrible procedure applied to regicides: after numerous tortures, Damiens was carried to the Place de Greve in the cold afternoon of that day. There, he was first tortured with red-hot pincers; his hand, holding the knife used in the attempted murder, was burnt using sulphur; molten wax, lead, and boiling oil were poured into his wounds. Horses were then harnessed to his arms and legs for his dismemberment. Damiens's joints would not break; after some hours, representatives of the Parliament ordered the executioner and his aides to cut Damiens's joints. Damiens was then dismembered, to the applause of the crowd. His trunk, apparently still living, was then burnt at the stake. There was an immense crowd to watch this gruesome spectacle, which nobody had witnessed in 147 years. Balconies in buildings above the Place de Greve were rented to women of the aristocracy for the exorbitant price of 100 livres per balcony (approx. $700 in 2007 US dollars).

As I always say, give the people what they want and they will come.

January 5, 1919 -
The Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei was founded by Anton Drexler and others at the Furstenfelder Hof tavern in Munich on this date.

Why does so much of early Nazi history seems to center around beer halls? It must have been something in those Bavarian Beer Purity laws.

January 5, 1933 -
Construction of the Golden Gate Bridge begins on the Marin County side, which spans the deep channel at the entrance to San Francisco Bay .

People have to line up for more than four years before suicides can begin (The Golden Gate Bridge is the most prevalent place in the USA to commit suicide.)

January 5, 1941 -
Amy Johnson CBE, pioneering English aviatrix, drowned after bailing out into the Thames Estuary on this date. Although she was seen alive in the water, a rescue attempt failed and her body was never recovered.

In 1999, it was reported that she was accidentally shot down by British forces when she twice failed to give the correct identification code during the flight.

Oops.

January 5, 1995 -
On Eye to Eye, Connie Chung's interview with House Speaker Newt Gingrich's mother, Kathleen, aired on CBS, complete with the whispered comment from Kathleen that Newt thought first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was a 'bitch' .

Once again we have the example of the pot calling the kettle black.

January 5, 1998 -
Congressman Sonny Bono finally meets something that ends his bizarrely successful career - a pine tree at Heavenly Valley Ski Area.

I guess the beat doesn't go on for him.

And so it goes.

Scofflaw violators beware

2012-01-04T12:26:00.002-05:00

I thought this was a joke, at first, but it really happened

Next on the list - pepper spraying jaywalkers or tasering litter bugs.

January 4, 1643 –
...There is no disputin', we're all indebted to Sir Isaac Newton ...

Sir Isaac Newton, English physicist, mathematician, astronomer, natural philosopher, alchemist, and theologian was born on this date (or on Christmas day 1642 Old Style)

And imagine, he still had time to invent Fig Cookies.

January 4, 1960 -
John Michael Stipe, the lead mumbler for R.E.M. was born on this date.

Poor Michael, what will he do with himself now that REM has broken up?

January 4, 1963 -
Dave Foley, Actor/Comedian (The Kids In The Hall, News Radio) and Canadian was born on this date.

I want to see the documentary he directed, Same Guys, New Dresses. I should have asked for the DVD for Christmas.

(Sorry for the delay in posting, I'm still trying to get used to a new schedule.)
Today in History:
January 4, 1903 -
Topsy was a domesticated elephant with the Forepaugh Circus at Coney Island's Luna Park. Because she had killed three men in three years (including a severely abusive trainer who attempted to feed her a lit cigarette), Topsy was deemed a threat to people by her owners and killed by electrocution on this date (Inventor Thomas Edison facilitates the entire affair.)

In an attempt to discredit Westinghouse and Nikola Tesla by showing how dangerous Alternating Current electricity was, Thomas Edison captured the event on film.

He would release it later that year under the title Electrocuting an Elephant (but that is another story.)

Raise your frozen Margaritas and toast dear old Stephen J. Poplawski. Mr. Poplawski was born in Poland on August 14, 1885, which was a fine place to be born if your wanted to be a farmer or fodder for the cannons of the next Austro-Hungarian Geopoliticial machination. He would have none of that and emigrated at age 9 with his parents to Racine, Wis (most children were usually beaten soundly when they suggested emigrating in the 1880's.) In 1918 he founded Stephens Tool Co. and in 1919 was hired by Arnold Electric Co. to develop an automatic malted milk mixer for use in restaurants (Racine being home of Horlick Malted Milk.)

On January 4, 1922 he filed a patent "for the first mixer of my design having an agitating element mounted in a base and adapted to be drivingly connected with the agitator in the cup when the cup was placed in a recess in the top of the base."

Well, you don't think they give you a patent for a machine that makes frosty, delicious alcoholic drinks, do you?

January 4, 1941 -
The animated short Elmer's Pet Rabbit was released on this date: it marks the second appearance of Bugs Bunny and the first to have his name on a title card.

It was directed by the legendary Chuck Jones. (Note that Bugs hasn't developed his characteristic buck teeth yet.)

January 4, 1943 -
Josef Stalin, evil bastard and abused child, appears as Time's 1942 Man of the Year.

Circulation for the magazine would have increased dramatically, if Stalin hadn't purged millions of Russian citizens.

January 4, 1960 -
Albert Camus, French writer, died in an automobile accident at age 46 on this date. In his coat pocket lay an unused train ticket.

He had planned to travel by train with his wife and children, but at the last minute accepted his publisher's proposal to travel with him.

If that isn't absurd, I don't know what is.

January 4, 1965 -
Thomas Stearns Eliot, (American-born) English poet, playwright, literary critic and noted Anti-Semitism, died in London, on this date.

I guess he finished measured out his life with coffee spoons?

January 4, 1984 -
Night Court starring Harry Anderson premiered on NBC-TV on this date.

Harry was 34 when he was appointed to the bench. He was appointed because he was the only candidate on the list to have answered their phone on the Mayor's last Sunday in office. He was the last name on the list. As he says, he got to be a judge, "because I was home."

And so it goes.

Today's gift count: you currently have 11 piper's piping, 20 hyperactive effete British gentlemen, knocking furniture over, 27 Pole dancers (draw the shades, the neighborhood kids are staring into your windows) , 32 organized dairy workers striking for better working conditions, 35 Swans making a racket, befouling your second bathroom (I hope you have a second bathroom), 36 geese a' laying, 35 golden rings, 32 calling birds, 27 French hens, 20 turtledoves and 11 partridges in their respective pear trees.

Why are you still signing for any packages delivered at your home?

Oh before I forget - Are you having trouble staying awake? Are you always nodding off in the middle of the day. Here's a sure cure for those pesky afternoon naps. Watch this video and you may not fall asleep again.

You can thank me later.

We've had too many days off

2012-01-03T08:09:00.000-05:00

To explain Rupert Murdoch's epic fail of a tweet is Brak from Cartoon Planet

I'm sure this is what he meant.

Today in History:
January 3, 1521 -
Pope Leo X still angry about the defacing of Castle Church of Wittenberg, released his papal bull Decet Romanum Pontificem and excommunicated Martin Luther for challenging church doctrine on this date.

A little known fact but Luther was an excellent matador and waived his 95 theses in front of the bull

January 3, 1870 -
the grandest physical habitat and surroundings of land and water the globe affords ...

The construction of the Brooklyn-side wooden caisson of the Brooklyn Bridge began on this date.

January 3, 1952 -
The ominous, four-note introduction to the brass and tympani theme music, then the staccato voice over intones, Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to hear is true.

The first regularly scheduled episode of Dragnet premiered on this date.

January 3, 1953 -
Frances Bolton and her son, Oliver from Ohio, become the first mother and son to serve simultaneously in the U.S. Congress.

I wonder if she kept telling him to sit up straight and stop talking to his neighbor while they were at work?

January 3, 1959 -
Alaska became the 49th state in the United States on this date.

I wonder if Putin tells people on the campaign stump that he can see Sarah Palin.

January 3, 1962 -
Pope John XXIII excommunicated Fidel Castro on this date.

I'm sure Fidel is still having a good laugh over that one.

January 3, 1967 -
Jack Ruby died of natural causes at Parkland Hospital, where Lee Harvey Oswald had died and President Kennedy had been pronounced dead after his assassination, on this date.

He could possibly be one of the only people involved in this sordid affair that did.

January 3, 1969 -
In New Jersey, 30,000 copies of John and Yoko's album Two Virgins are confiscated because the cover is deemed obscene. There is nothing more shocking than two naked multimillionaires on the cover of your Rock and Roll Album.

Kids, go ask your parents what albums were.

And so it goes

Today's gift count: you currently have 10 Leaping Lords, 18 Rockettes, 24 young milkmaid, 28 Swans making a racket, 30 geese a' laying, 30 golden rings, 28 calling birds, 24 French hens, 18 turtledoves and 10 partridges in their respective pear trees.

Begin thinking about fleeing the country (with the gold rings) and living in Canada under an assumed name.

I'm still playing catch-up

2012-01-02T15:30:00.003-05:00

I'm still trying to get yesterday's post in order and remembered that I have to post today's. Here's someone who obvious has a basketful more time then I do - here is a shot by shot comparison of Raiders of the Lost Ark and 30 different films made between 1919 - 1973

I have old chemistry homework that I've never handed in, perhaps if they have all this extra time ....

January 2, 1882 -
The 28 year old Oscar Wilde arrived in New York City on this date to delver a series of lectures across the U.S.A.

When a customs inspector asked him if he had anything to declare he replied, "Nothing but my genius." A cursory look through the Oscar Wilde Collection does not say whether or not he would submit to a full body cavity search by the TSA.

Today in History:
January 2, 1492 -
After a siege that began in 1491, Abu 'abd-Allah Muhammad XII (also known as Boabdil) surrendered Granada (the last Moorish holdout in Spain) to Ferdinand and Isabella, the king and queen of Castile and Aragon, on this date. The incredibly elaborate ceremony, culminating with the handing over of the keys to the Alhambra, brought to an end over 700 years Muslim rule in Spain.

Legend has it that as the royal party moved south toward exile, they reached a rocky prominence which gave a last view of the city. Muhammad XII reined in his horse and, surveying for the last time the Alhambra and the green valley that spread below, burst into tears. When his mother approached him she said : "Weep like a woman for what you could not defend as a man". The spot from which Muhammad XII looked for the last time on Granada is known as "the Moor's last sigh" (el último suspiro del Moro).

January 2, 1872 -
Brigham Young was arrested on charges of bigamy for having 25 wives on this date.

A cursory look through the Brigham Young Archives reveals that it's the first night he was able to sleep with both eyes closed in years.

January 2, 1935 -
Bruno Richard Hauptmann went on trial in Flemington, N.J., on charges of kidnapping and murdering the infant son of aviator Charles A. and Anne Lindbergh on this date.

(He would later be found guilty and executed for that crime that he probably did not committed.)

January 2, 1942 -
33 members of a German spy ring headed by Frederick or Fritz Joubert Duquesne were sentenced to serve a total of over 300 years in prison. The Duquesne Spy Ring, as they were known, is the largest espionage case in United States history that ended in convictions.

The 1945 film The House on 92nd Street was also a thinly disguised version of the Duquesne Spy Ring saga of 1941, but differs from historical fact. It won screenwriter Charles G. Booth an Academy Award for the best original motion picture story.

January 2, 1939 -
Time Magazine published its annual Man of the Year issue on this date for the year 1938. Time had chosen Adolf Hitler as the man who "for better or worse" (as Time founder Henry Luce expressed it) had most influenced events of the preceding year. The cover picture featured Hitler playing "his hymn of hate in a desecrated cathedral while victims dangle on a St. Catherine's wheel and the Nazi hierarchy looks on." This picture was drawn by Baron Rudolph Charles von Ripper, a German Catholic who had fled Hitler's Germany.

Who came in second - Benito Mussolini .

January 2, 1974 -
President Richard Nixon signs a bill lowering the maximum U.S. speed limit to 55 MPH in order to conserve gasoline during an OPEC embargo.

Leadfoots everywhere cry out in pain.

And so it goes

Today's gift count: you currently have Nine ladies dancing, 16 young woman engaged in the dairy industry (and possibly their union rep. I've also never considered whether or not the cows come with them), 21 Swans making a racket, 24 geese a' laying (check to see if you can make omelets for all those people), 25 golden rings, 24 calling birds, 21 French hens, 16 turtledoves and 9 partridges in their respective pear trees.

With this many people in the house, I suggest that you invest in more toilet paper and a good plunger.

Happy Happy New Year

2012-01-01T12:35:00.003-05:00

I'm traveling unexpectedly so I'll have to get my post together later.

Meanwhile, keep drinking fluids, take bed rest and aspirins (or whatever your religious affiliation believes in.)

Be back soon

Today's gift count: you currently have Eight young woman engaged in the daily industry, 14 Swans making a racket, 18 geese a' laying (I have no idea how much goose eggs are worth), 20 golden rings, 20 calling birds, 18 French hens, 14 turtledoves and 8 partridges in their respective pear trees.

Remember to think kindly of women who work in the dairy industry - if it weren't for the unnatural interest Edward Jenner took in milk maids, we would never have the smallpox vaccine.

A Lamentation of Swans

2011-12-31T07:57:00.000-05:00

They are usually known as a flock or bevy (A wedge when you see them flying in their usual V formation.)

But a lamentation of swans is truly poetic.

Tonight's the Sixth night of Kwanzaa.

Tonight celebrates Kuumba (Creativity) - To do always as much as one can, in the way one can, in order to leave their community more beautiful and beneficial than one inherited it.

December 31, 1907-
For the first time a ball drops at Times Square to signal the New Year on this date.

The New Year’s Eve Ball first descended from a flagpole at One Times Square, constructed with iron and wood materials with 100 25-watt bulbs weighing 700 pounds and measuring 5 feet in diameter.

December 31, 1958 -
Rebels forces lead by Fidel Castro march triumphantly into Havana, Cuba. Cuban dictator Juan Batista flees the country with 180 of his supporters and personal fortune of more than $300 million dollars amassed through graft and payoffs.

Michael grasps Fredo tightly by the head and gives a kiss, telling him "I know it was you Fredo; you broke my heart." Michael appeals to his brother to join him in leaving the country, but Fredo runs away, frightened.

But that's another story ...

December 31, 1995 –
Cartoonist Bill Watterson ends his Calvin & Hobbes comic strip on this date. Calvin and Hobbes debuted in 1985 and featured the adventures of Calvin, a hyperactive, overly imaginative, bratty six-year-old, and his best friend, the stuffed tiger Hobbes.

Other regularly appearing characters included Calvin's stressed out parents; Susie Derkins, the neighborhood girl; Miss Wormwood, the much put-upon school teacher; Mo, the school bully; and Rosalyn, the only baby-sitter willing to watch Calvin.

Hope you all have wonderful plans for this evening. The only advice I can give you is - Drink til you drop and drop where you drink - Don't drink and drive.

Here’s a brief overview of New Years Celebrations

Although the new year has been celebrated since prehistoric times, it was celebrated on the vernal equinox rather than what we now consider the first of the year. The Romans were the first to recognize New Years Day on January first. Rather than tie the day to some significant astronomical or agricultural event, in 153 BC the Romans selected it for civil reasons. It was the day after elections in which the newly elected assumed their positions.

Years later, Julius Caesar wanted to change the date to a more logical date but that year, January 1, 45 BC was the date of a new moon. To change it would have been bad luck. He did, however, change the calendar system from the Egyptian solar calendar to the "Julian" calendar, named for Caesar. July, the month of Caesar's birth, was also named after him to recognize him for his calendar reform. And look what it got him.

Up unto 1582, Christian Europe continued to celebrate New Years Day on March 25. Pope Gregory XIII instituted additional calendar reforms bringing us the calendaring system of the day. The Gregorian calendar was adopted by Catholic countries immediately while the reformists, suspect of any papal policy, only adapted it after some time. Today most countries around the world have adopted this calendaring system.

From primitive man to today, it has been recognized as a day in which rites were done to abolished the past so there could be a rejuvenation for the new year. Rituals included purgations, purifications, exorcisms, extinguishing and rekindling fires, masked processions (masks representing the dead), and other similar activities. Often exorcisms and purgations were performed with much noise as if to scare away the evil spirits. In China, Ying, the forces of light fought Yang, the forces of darkness with cymbals, noisemakers, and firecrackers.

Early European-Americans adopted the New Year celebrations from their homelands. However, it was noted by early settlers that native Americans already honored News Years Day with their own customs. Their rituals coincided with those around the world including fires, explosions of evil spirits, and celebrations. Today many of the New Year celebrations actually begin with a countdown to the New Year on the evening prior. It is customary to kiss your sweetheart when the clock strikes midnight as one of the customs of these New Years Eve parties.

Around the world, different cultures have their own traditions for welcoming the new year. The Japanese hang a rope of straw across the front of their houses to keep out evil spirits and bring happiness and good luck. They also have a good laugh as the year begins to get things started on a lucky note. Iraqis like to hang evil bastards to try to keep bad luck out of their country.

In West Bengal, in northern India, the people like to wear pink, red, purple and white flowers. Women favor yellow, the color of spring. Hindus also leave shrines next to their beds so they can see beautiful objects when they wake up to the new year.

In Vancouver, British Columbia, Canadians enjoy the traditional polar bear swim. People of all ages don their swim suits and take the plunge, an event that is sure to get you started in the new year with eyes wide open.

In Scotland, they celebrate Hogmanay, the Scottish New Year, usually with great exuberance. Both Edinburgh and Glasgow host street parties for 100,000 people. At midnight, there is the celebration of "First Footing," where gifts are exchanged.

New Year Resolutions is simply another way to wish away the past in exchange for hopes of the future. It is where the phrase turning over a new leaf originated.

I hope 2012 brings good health and better luck to all.

So everyone turn the wheel of your life. Make complete revolutions. Celebrate every turning. And persevere with joy!!!

Today's gift count: you currently have Seven Swans a' swimming, 12 geese a' laying, 15 golden rings, 16 calling birds, 15 French hens, 12 turtledoves and 7 partridges in their respective pear trees.

I can't begin to imagine the amount of bird waste you are removing at the point. But keep shoveling, you don't want the EPA on your tail (so to speak.)

Impress all your friends

2011-12-30T07:42:00.002-05:00

Calling birds, of the Twelve Days of Christmas fame, are an Americanization of Colly birds, also known as the European blackbird. A group of 4 or more blackbirds, ravens or crows is known as a Murder.

Now you know.

Eldrick Tont Woods (Tiger to his friends and Blond bimbos everywhere) turns 36 today.

I'm guessing he has more time on his hands for whore mongering.

Once again, this is the corollary to it's good to be the king.

December 30, 1942 -
Frank Sinatra opened at New York's Paramount Theatre for what was scheduled to be a 4-week engagement (his shows turned out to be so popular, he was booked for an additional 4 weeks). An estimated 400 policemen were called out to help curb the excitement.

It is said that some of the teen-age girls were hired to scream, but many more screamed for free. Sinatra was dubbed 'The Sultan of Swoon,' 'The Voice that Thrills Millions' and just 'The Voice.' Whatever he was known as, it was at this Paramount Theatre engagement that modern pop hysteria was born .

December 30, 1949 -
Stanley Donen/ Gene Kelly wonderful take on the Comden and Green musical, On the Town, starring Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra, opened nationwide on this date.

Frank Sinatra, who was very thin, had to wear prosthetic padding to fill out the seat of his uniform. In a TCM interview, Ann Miller said that Sinatra was extremely sensitive about his padding and did not appreciate the usual movie set horseplay involving his lower half.

December 30, 1946 -
An artist may have burdens the ordinary citizen doesn't know, but the ordinary citizen has burdens that many artists never even touch.

Patricia Lee "Patti" Smith, singer-songwriter, poet, artist, Godmother of Punk, Commander of the Ordre des Arts et des Lettres and inductee in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame was born on this date.

December 30, 1970 -
Paul McCartney sued the other three Beatles to dissolve the partnership and gain control of his interest. The suit touched off a bitter feud between McCartney and the others, especially his co-writer on many of the Beatles compositions, John Lennon.

The Beatles were legally disbanded, four years to the day after Paul McCartney sued his band mates to dissolve the partnership.

December 30, 1980 -
The longest-running series in prime-time television history, The Wonderful World of Disney, was canceled on NBC after more than 25 years on the air. The Government, wanting to honor this momentous occasion, had the Selective Service System sent a warning to Mickey Mouse at Disneyland in Anaheim, California. The Selective Service said that Mickey was in violation of registration compliance.

Of course, Mickey, age 52 at the time, sent in his registration card proving that he's a World War II veteran .

Tonight is the Fifth night of Kwanzaa.

Tonight celebrates Nia (Purpose) - To make collective vocation the building and developing of community in order to restore the member's of the community to their traditional greatness.

Today in History:
December 30, 1853 -
Kids, follow along, it gets bumpy.

After the end of the Mexican-American War in 1848, border disputes continued between the United States and Mexico. Land that now comprises lower Arizona and New Mexico was part of a proposed southern route for a transcontinental railroad. U.S. President Franklin Pierce (considered one of the worst Presidents) was convinced by Jefferson Davis, then the country's Secretary of War, to send James Gadsden (who had personal interests in the rail route) to negotiate the Gadsden Purchase with Mexico. Under the resulting agreement, the U.S. paid Mexico $10 million (equivalent to about $230 million in 2006 dollars, 2010 dollars are just not worth that much anymore) to secure the land.

The matter about the money was to be very contentious: even though the agreement specified $10 million, the US Congress agreed on only $7 million ($163 million in 2006 dollars). When the money finally arrived in Mexico City $1 million ($23 million in 2006 dollars) was missing, thus resulting in a total of only $6 million (oh, you do the math.) The treaty included a provision allowing the U.S. to build a transoceanic canal across the Isthmus of Tehuantepec, though this option was never exercised. With a few exceptions, such as the resolution of the Chamizal dispute, acquisition of land in this purchase defined the present boundaries of the continental United States.

December 30, 1862 -
The Union ironclad ship USS Monitor sank off Cape Hatteras, N.C., during a storm on this date.

While the design of Monitor was well-suited for river combat, her low freeboard and heavy turret made her highly unseaworthy in rough waters. Sixteen members of the crew were lost.

The Iroquois Theater Fire in Chicago, Illinois, claimed 627 lives on December 30, 1903. It was the single-building fire in U.S. history with the most fatalities, claiming over 100 more fatalities than the Cocoanut Grove fire in Boston. The Iroquois Theater, at 24-28 West Randolph Street, was advertised as "absolutely fireproof." The theatre opened on November 23rd and burned 37 days later on December 30th. Over 1,900 people were in attendance at a matinée showing of the popular musical Mr. Bluebeard.

Of the 300 or so actors, dancers, stagehands, etc., only an aerialist (Nellie Reed), an actor in a bit part, an usher, and two female attendants died. The aerialist's role was as a fairy. She flew out over the audience on a trolley wire, showering them with pink carnations. She was trapped above the stage while waiting for her entrance. Comedian Eddie Foy was hailed as a hero for attempting to calm the crowd. Foy's role in this disaster is recreated by Bob Hope in the film The Seven Little Foys.

After the fire, it was revealed that fire inspectors had been bribed with free tickets to overlook code violations. Accusations began to appear that the asbestos curtain was not asbestos. The curtain had disappeared, which meant it was either viewed as incriminating evidence and removed or had burned, in which case it could not have been asbestos, which does not burn.

A result from the Iroquois fire was the development of the first panic exit device by the Von Duprin exit device company, now a part of Ingersoll Rand. Panic exit devices are now required by building codes for high-occupancy spaces.

December 30, 1916 -
Kids, you know I love discussing early 20th Century Russian history as much as the next person, but this item is so good, it has to span over the course of two days (but it will reside on December 30th - you'll see why shortly.

Grigory Rasputin, a self-fashioned Russian holy man, whore monger (I got to use whore monger twice in the same post), very unbathed and alcoholic was a very unpleasant man. And yet he held tremendous influence over the royal family (which probably hastened their downfall).

On December 16, 1916 O.S. ( Old Style, i.e. - Julian Calendar, so it's really December 29), having decided that Rasputin's influence over the Tsaritsa had made him a far-too-dangerous threat to the empire, a group of nobles, led by Prince Felix Yusupov and the Grand Duke Dmitri Pavlovich (one of the few Romanov family members to escape the annihilation of the family during the Red Terror), apparently lured Rasputin to the Yusupovs' Moika Palace, where they served him cakes and red wine laced with a massive amount of cyanide. According to legend, Rasputin was unaffected, although Vasily Maklakov had supplied enough poison to kill five men. Conversely, Maria Rasputin's (one of Rasputin's four children) account asserts that, if her father did eat or drink poison, it was not in the cakes or wine, because, after the attack by Khioniya Guseva (she stabbed him in the gut - no surprise - he survived), he had hyperacidity, and avoided anything with sugar. In fact, she expressed doubt that he was poisoned at all.

Determined to finish the job, Yusupov became anxious about the possibility that Rasputin might live until the morning, which would leave the conspirators with no time to conceal his body. Yusupov ran upstairs to consult the others and then came back down to shoot Rasputin through the back with a revolver. Rasputin fell, and the company left the palace for a while. Yusupov, who had left without a coat, decided to return to grab one, and, while at the palace, he went to check up on the body. Suddenly, Rasputin opened his eyes, grabbed Yusupov by the throat and strangled him. As he made his bid for freedom, however, the other conspirators arrived and fired at him. After being hit three times in the back, Rasputin fell once more. As they neared his body, the party found that, remarkably, he was still alive, struggling to get up. They clubbed him into submission and, after wrapping his body in a sheet, threw him into an icy river, and he finally met his end there on the morning of December 17th O.S. (December 30th) - as had both his siblings before him.

Three days later, the body of Rasputin, poisoned, shot four times and badly beaten, was recovered from the Neva River and autopsied. The cause of death was hypothermia. His arms were found in an upright position, as if he had tried to claw his way out from under the ice. In the autopsy, it was found that he had indeed been poisoned, and that the poison alone should have been enough to kill him.

Yet another report, also supporting the idea that he was still alive after submerging through the ice into the Neva River, is that after his body was pulled from the river, water was found in the lungs, showing that he didn't die until he was submerged into the water. So, apparently, you can't keep a very bad man down.

There will be a test.

Today's gift count: you currently have Six geese a' laying, 10 golden rings, 12 calling birds, 12 French hens, ten turtledoves and six partridges in their respective pear trees (begin thinking abut gardening tools.)

I'm sorry to have to say this but kill the geese immediately. They're filthy disgusting birds - again, contact your local upscale poultry purveyor. Geese lay approximately 1 egg every 1.5 days. Game birds fetch a high price during the holiday season.

And so it goes

You still have two more days

2011-12-29T07:42:00.001-05:00

... to deal with this year's resolutions

Tonight is the Fourth night of Kwanzaa.

Tonight celebrates Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics) - To build and maintain the community's stores, shops and other businesses and to profit from them together.

December 29, 1959 -
Paula Poundstone, comedian, was born on this date.

One of the funniest working comedians today.

December 29, 1967 -
Star Trek first aired The Trouble with Tribbles episode - arguably one of their most famous episodes - on this date.

The pile of tribbles near the end of the episode was actually created by gluing tribble props around a large wire frame which Kirk (William Shatner) then stood in the middle of to give the illusion of mass numbers. In reality there were only five hundred tribbles made.

Today in History:
December 29, 1170 -
Thomas Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, is slashed to death by four of King Henry II's knights at the altar of the Virgin Mary. "Is there no one who will rid me from this turbulent priest", cried Henry in frustration earlier that month.

It was apparently not a serious demand for Becket's death, but that did not stop his brains from being splattered in Canterbury Cathedral.

So kids, remember, don't ask for things that you don't really want (the whole tears in heaven/answered prayers thing.)

December 29, 1851 -
It's fun to stay at the YMCA. The formation of the first YMCA in the United States in Boston, happened on this date.

No, I'm not going to play that song.

December 29, 1876-
Today's lesson: taking your job too seriously.

On a cold and wintry night, the Pacific Express, carrying some 159 passengers and crew, was traveling over a bridge near Ashtabula, Ohio. Only the first engine of the train made it to the other side at 7:28 p.m. as the bridge began to collapse. The rest of the train broke away and plummeted to the bottom of the ravine below. Approximately 92 men, women and children were killed, not from the fall itself, but from the ensuing fire while they were trapped inside the crushed cars.

The bridge was owned by the Lake Shore and Michigan railroad, and was the joint creation of Charles Collins, Engineer, and Amasa Stone, Chief Architect and Designer. After testifying before an investigative jury, Charles Collins quietly went home and shot himself in the head. Amasa Stone committed suicide approximately 7 years later. Stone was held partly responsible for the disaster by the same investigative jury before which Collins had testified, and was publicly scorned for many years.

Please remember that YOU are not your job (unless you feel personally responsible from the horrible death of about 100 men, women and children.)

December 29, 1890 -
The Wounded Knee Massacre took place in Wounded Knee, South Dakota as over 200 Sioux were killed by US troops sent to disarm them on this date.

Another proud moment in American history.

December 29, 1939 -
The classic Western comedy, Destry Rides Again, premiered on this date.

The role of Tom Destry was originally intended for Gary Cooper, but he wanted more money than the producers were willing to pay him. It was then offered to James Stewart, who took it.

December 29, 1946 -
Baroness Sacher-Masoch (Marianne Evelyn Faithfull), an English singer, songwriter, actress

and inventor of the Mars bar tampon, was born on this date.

December 29, 1965 -
Thunderball - the best James Bond title - premiered in US on this date.

The budget for this Bond film was more than the combined budgets of the first three Bond films.

December 29, 1993 -
Former child star Todd Bridges (who played Willis on Different Strokes) arrested for transportation of methamphetamine.

What the hell was in the water on that set.

Today's gift tally: you currently have five golden rings, eight calling birds, nine French hens, ten turtledoves and five partridges in their respective pear trees (begin thinking preserves.)

Word to the wise - contact your local upscale poultry purveyor. Game birds fetch a high price during the holiday season.

And so it goes

How many of them did you see?

2011-12-28T09:14:00.002-05:00

Two very good clip reels of the films of 2011

Maybe, I'll have time to see someone of them on Netflix.

Tonight's the third night of Kwanzaa.

Tonight celebrates Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility) - To build and maintain the community together and make the members of the community's problems, everyone's problems and to solve them together.

Today in History:
December 28, 1869 -
Patent for chewing gum granted to William Semple (patent number 98,304), on this date.

Does YOUR chewing gum lose it flavor on the bed post overnight?

December 28, 1895 -
Auguste and Louis Lumiere opened the first movie theater at the Grand Cafe in Paris, on this date . Other inventors, including Thomas Edison, were working on various moving picture devices at the time. But most of those other devices could only be viewed by one person at a time. The Lumieres were the first to project moving pictures on a screen, so that they could be viewed by a large audience.

The first film they showed to a paying audience was called Workers Leaving the Lumiere Factory. It was a short, single shot with an immobile camera and it showed a concierge opening the factory gates from which dozens of workers walked and bicycled into the street. It ended with the concierge closing the gates again.

It wasn't a movie in the modern sense. It had no characters, no storyline. It was just an animated photograph. Much like most French New Wave films. The Lumiere brothers went on to make more than 2,000 films like this, each one less than a minute long depicting various scenes of human activity with titles like The Arrival of a Train, Boat Leaving the Harbor and Baby's First Steps. They didn't call these "movies" or "films," they called them "views."

It took other filmmakers to turn movies into a medium for storytelling. The Lumieres were primarily documentary filmmakers. But in their film Demolition of a Wall they added a reverse loop to the film so that after the wall falls to the ground it miraculously picks itself back up. It was the first special effect ever uses in the history of motion pictures.

The Lumieres' movie house was a big success. Within a few months of its opening, more than 2,000 people lined up every night to buy tickets. But the Lumieres themselves thought that movies would be a passing fad. They told their cinematographers not to expect work for more than six months. Auguste went on to become a medical scientist and Louis went back to working on still photographs.

December 28, 1983 -
Dennis Wilson, original drummer of the Beach Boys, drowned while diving from a boat near Marquesas Pier. He was rather drunk at the time.

You would think that someone in the Beach Boys could swim.

December 28, 1991 -
Jack Ruby's pistol, used to kill Lee Harvey Oswald, sold at auction at Christie's for $220,000.

The perfect gift for the man who has everything.

Today's score, you currently have four calling birds, six French hens, eight turtledoves and four partridges in their respective pear trees (when do these trees become a grove?) Begin hoarding newspaper - you'll need it in a major way.

And so it goes

And not a single auto-tuned note from Justin

2011-12-27T08:35:00.002-05:00

Here's the Mash-Up you've been waiting for -

DJ Earworm's - United State of Pop 2011

Tonight's the second night of Kwanzaa.

Tonight celebrates Kujichagulia (Self-Determination) - To define oneself, name oneself, create for oneself and speak for oneself.

Today in History:
December 27, 1831 -
For some unknown reason, naturalist Charles Darwin began his famous voyage on-board a beagle, on the date.

He immediately swam back to shore and boarded the HMS Beagle once the dog drowned.

The 12 acre complex in midtown Manhattan known as Rockefeller Center developed by John D. Rockefeller, Jr., on land leased from Columbia University opened to the public on December 27, 1932.

Radio City Music Hall (named for one of the complex's first tenants, the Radio Corporation of America) opened with a spectacular stage show, featuring Ray Bolger and Martha Graham. The opening was meant to be a return to high class variety entertainment.

Unfortunately, the show bombed and on January 11, 1933, the Music Hall rushed to show the first film on the giant screen, installed in the theatre: Frank Capra's The Bitter Tea of General Yen starring Barbara Stanwyck.

Again, the film was not critically well received

December 27, 1937 (some sources site the broadcast date as December 12, 1937)-
Middle aged, stout and possible transvestite performer, Mae West and Don Ameche as Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden appeared on the radio show The Chase and Sanborn Hour. She told Ameche in the show to "get me a big one...I feel like doin' a big apple!"

The FCC later deemed the broadcast vulgar and indecent and far below even the minimum standard which should control in the selection and production of broadcast programs. West would not perform in radio for another twelve years until January 1950, in an episode of The Chesterfield Supper Club hosted by Perry Como.

December 27, 1947 -
Hey kids, what time is it? A bleary eyed world, fresh from the horrors of a second World War awaken to the sight of a freaky marionette on NBC - Howdy Doody premiered.

The show hosted by Buffalo Bob Smith, somehow managed to stay on the air for 13 years .

Tonight's the last night of Hanukkah and if you're keeping score, you currently have three French Hens, four turtledoves and a three partridges with their trio of pear trees. The hens, being french, will not associate with the common turtle doves - leave plenty of room between the cages.

And so it goes

I hope you recycled all of that wrapping paper

2011-12-26T00:23:00.003-05:00

Today is Boxing Day (St. Stephen's Day) and citizens of the British Commonwealth celebrate by putting on trunks and gloves to beat each other bloody silly.

Another reason to appreciate the American Revolution - a peaceful December 26th.

If you are starting your Christmas shopping for next year, you're either way ahead of the curve or cheap.

If you live in the Northeast like I do – you'll remember that we got hit with a massive blizzard on the date last year.

Tonight's the first night of Kwanzaa (as well as another Hanukkah date.)

Tonight celebrates Umoja (Unity) - To strive for and to maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race.

December 26, 1951 -
The film that introduced Akira Kurosawa to world audiences, Rashomon, starring Toshiro Mifune and Machiko Kyo, premiered in the US on this date.

The film is often credited as the reason the Academy created the Best Foreign Film category.

December 26, 1957 -
The Ingmar Bergman classic Wild Strawberries, starring Victor Sjostrom, opened in Sweden on this date.

Cinematographer Gunnar Fischer says that several scenes had to be shot indoors due to Victor Sjöström's poor health. "We had to make some very bad back-projection in the car because we never knew if Victor would come back alive the next day." Nevertheless, as long as Victor was home by 5:15 P.M. each day, "and had his whiskey punctually, all went well."

(I'm not near a reliable computer, so this is an abbreviated) Today in History -
December 26, 1776 -
American forces under Gen. George Washington, having crossed the Delaware River on Christmas night, defeated Hessian mercenary troops fighting for the British at the Battle of Trenton, N.J.

Apparently, Washington was trying to beat the toll.

On this day in 1913, the author of the short story, An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge and the satirical dictionary, The Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce disappeared into Mexico while traveling with the army of rebel Pancho Villa. In one of his final letters, the 71-year-old Bierce wrote to his niece, Lora,

Good-bye — if you hear of my being stood up against a Mexican stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease, or falling down the cellar stairs. To be a Gringo in Mexico—ah, that is euthanasia!

December 26, 1919 -
Red Sox owner and Broadway Producer, Harry Frazee believes he has solved one of his many headaches when he sells, an overweight, drunk, whoremongering baseball player to the New York Yankees.

Oops.

December 26, 1967 -
The Beatles give their fans a Christmas present - Magical Mystery Tour was shown on the BBC on this date.

5

The film was broadcast in black and white, although the film was shot in color. The British public's reaction to the film was scathing.

December 26, 1973 -
Here was a great way to celebrate the holidays, The Exorcist, premiered in the US on this date.

The original teaser trailer, which consisted of nothing but images of the white-faced demon quickly flashing in and out of darkness, was banned in many theaters, as it was deemed "too frightening".

And so it goes

If you're keeping score, you currently have two turtledoves and a pair of partridges in their respective pear trees. Begin hoarding newspaper - you'll need it in a major way.

I hope you've made room

2011-12-25T07:35:00.004-05:00

... Your Christmas gifts are starting to arrive (we'll be keeping a count.)

Put your feet up and read a little bit about the History of Christmas

Christmas is one of the most widely celebrated holidays in the world, although the form of its observation varies widely from nation to nation. In America, our cultural kleptomania has allowed us to assimilate the most enjoyable of those traditions while discarding any stupid superstitions associated with them.

But it's worth reviewing those superstitions along with our traditions, if only to amuse ourselves yet again at the expense of our ancestors.

The winter solstice had long been celebrated by ignorant barbarians throughout the northern hemisphere as the time of the year when the sun stopped getting smaller and smaller and finally started getting bigger and bigger. The sun was important to these poor primitive bastards, in much the same way that we poor modern bastards find it so important. It was, after all, the sun.

To avoid having to go out much during the darkest and coldest days of the year, the poor shivering Nordic bastards of Scandinavia would bundle up and sally forth into the woods to bring home great big logs which would often burn for as long as twelve days. As long as the log burned they would stay in and eat and drink and fornicate. They believed that every spark their log set off foretold the birth of a calf or pig in the new year, which only underscores the irony of the Nobel prize being awarded in Sweden.

They believed the sun was a big wheel (hwoel) that rolled away from the earth until the winter solstice, at which point it began rolling back toward us. This quaint ignorance charmed the weak and flabby peoples over whom the Vikings later swept like an apocalyptic affliction. However, these peoples could not pronounce hwoel and therefore called it "yule." This irritated the Vikings and eventually forced their retreat.

While the Norse were hauling those logs into their houses, others throughout Europe were enjoying some of the finest dining of the year. Since it was too expensive to feed and shelter animals through the cold weather, those in northern climes killed their livestock at the onset of each winter. This provided their only steady supply of fresh meat all year, and went nicely with the wines and ales which had finally become fermented. The inevitable gastrointestinal distress that followed these binges is probably responsible for the primitive Germans' fear that the god Odin was flying around the sky above them during the solstice, deciding who was naughty and who was nice. It was not entirely academic: Odin's invariable sentence for the naughty was death.

Primitive bastards everywhere also liked to bring sprigs and boughs of evergreens into their homes around the time of the solstice to remind themselves that sooner or later all that awful cold and snow would end and it would get warm enough to eat, drink, and fornicate outdoors. The Druids of the British Isles brought evergreen boughs into their temples every winter as a sign of everlasting life, and the Vikings thought that evergreens were the particular plant of their own sun-god, Balder (so-named because they mistook the sun for his shiny, hairless cranium). Even the Egyptians worshiped their sun-god Ra's "recovery" by bringing palm rushes into their homes. It's not clear how this was intended to help poor Ra, but he always pulled through.

In ancient Rome, the festival of Saturnalia began the week before the solstice and lasted a full month. Romans ate and drank and fornicated during this festival in honor of Saturn, the god of Agriculture. They filled their homes with evergreen boughs to remind themselves that everything would be green again eventually. They also let slaves become masters for the duration of the festival, and the plebeians were put in charge of the city. It was a crazy, topsy-turvy time, with all sorts of nutty mix-ups. Overlapping with Saturnalia around the time of the solstice was Juvenalia, a feast to honor the children of the city.

The winter solstice fell on December 25 in the year 274, and the pagan Roman Emperor Aurelian declared that day a holiday: the festival of the Birth of the Invincible Sun. The Invincible Sun was also known as Mithra. Mithra was an infant god who had been born from a rock (presumably virgin rock). The Roman upper classes, with their special fondness for rocks, honored this holiday as one of the most sacred in the year.

Meanwhile, the noisy little sect of Christianity had started to gather some steam.

St. Nicholas was born around this time in what is today Turkey, but was then just another primitive desert backwater full of bickering barbarians. One popular story about St. Nicholas was that he had saved three sisters from being sold into slavery or prostitution, or both, by sneaking money for dowries into their shoes and socks. He died on December 6, and this was subsequently celebrated as his feast day. It came to be considered a lucky day on which to buy things or get married. He was honored as a protector of children and sailors. By the Renaissance he had topped all the European charts to become the most popular saint ever, probably on account of widespread sailors and children.

In the fourth century, church leaders decided to begin celebrating the birth of Jesus, since it seemed morbid just celebrating his death. No one is really sure when Jesus was born, although most scholars are pretty sure it wasn't late December and most astrologists are quick to point out that Jesus doesn't seem like a Capricorn.

Pope Julius I chose to declare December 25 as Jesus' birthday, since people were already used to celebrating at that time of year. The holiday was called the Feast of the Nativity, and by the end of the eighth century it had spread across all of Europe, even to those remote and primitive corners where people still thought the sun was a big yellow wheel.

By the middle ages Christianity had penetrated almost all of Europe, but Christmas was still a blend of ignorant barbarian superstitions and unbearable religious seriousness. Christians would attend a Christmas mass on December 25, then eat, drink, and fornicate like they did in the old days. They would crown some wretched beggar the "lord of misrule," and the drunken revelers would happily and laughingly obey his every command. The poor would show up at the doors of the rich and demand food and drink, and if they were denied they would often laughingly burn down the house, beat its inhabitants, and rape the womenfolk before moving on to the next house. It was a very jolly holiday.

Devout Christians of sixteenth century Germany began trying to outdo the rest of Europe with their usual humorless Teutonic ambition. Instead of hanging a few little evergreen boughs about the hearth at Christmastime, they began hauling whole trees into their homes. According to legend, Martin Luther himself was walking home from a sermon one night when he was struck by the beauty of the glittering stars among the pines. When he got home he promptly decorated his own tree with candles. Despite the obvious fire hazard, this quickly became a popular tradition.

After the Reformation, puritans decided there was too much eating, drinking, and fornication associated with Christmas and that it was therefore bad. Many rulers outlawed it altogether. This was not usually popular: in England, for example, Oliver Cromwell cancelled Christmas, resulting in the restoration of Charles II and the retaliatory cancellation of Mr. Cromwell's head.

All of this was bad for Christmas, but such was St. Nicholas' popularity that it did little to deter from his reputation. He remained on top of the charts. Nowhere was he more popular than in Holland, where he was venerated as Sint Nikolaas, or more familiarly as Sinter Klaas.

The puritan bastards who settled America avoided Christmas as part and parcel of their longstanding commitment to No Fun. Massachusetts Colony actually penalized anyone caught celebrating Christmas with a five-shilling fine. Since it was considered an English holiday, it was ostentatiously ignored in the years during and after the Revolution, and wasn't made a federal holiday until after the Civil War (on June 26, 1870.)

Washington Irving had done his part in sorting through barbarian superstitions for things that were wholesome, pleasant, and commercial enough to be made officially American, and in 1809 he referred to St. Nicholas as the Patron Saint of New York. In 1822 an Episcopalian minister named Clement Clarke Moore wrote a frivolous poem for his daughters entitled "A Visit from St. Nicholas." Mr. Moore cleverly ignored all elements of the good saint's biography involving slavery, prostitution, dowries, and sailors. He focused instead on sleighs, reindeer, and presents for good little American boys and girls. It was so silly and frivolous that it became one of the most popular American poems ever—second only to the one about the guy from Nantucket.

By 1820, American stores had begun to advertise Christmas shopping, and by 1870 children were flocking to Macy's to see Santa Claus. And so it was that America began applying its curious collective genius for assimilation to the vast storehouse of silly and primitive traditions from throughout the world.

Thus we need not concern ourselves with St. Lucia, the patron saint of the blind, whom Scandinavians honor each December 23 (Little Yule) with elaborate pagan rituals involving candles, torches, and bonfires.

We need not worry about the witch Babouschka, who visits Russian children with gifts each Christmas to compensate for a nasty little joke she once played on the wise men,

or the Italian witch La Befana.

We need not trouble ourselves with the construction of piñatas each holiday season, as Mexican parents must.

We don't have to sit around our tables as they do in Ukraine, waiting for the evening star to appear before we begin our meal. We need not fear the kallikantzeri of Greece, nasty little goblins that cause mischief for the twelve days of Christmas.

And let's not even talk about Krampus

Let's all take a moment during these troubled times to express our gratitude and admiration for our American traditions, which are so much better than the traditions of every other country.

I wish to all you gentle readers, a happy, healthy and joyous holiday.

And so it goes

The sooner you kids go to bed ...

2011-12-24T08:08:00.002-05:00

While your wrapping your gifts, here a Christmas Jukebox to put you in that holiday mood.

December 24, 1940-
George Cukor's classic film-comedy The Philadelphia Story, starring Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn, premiered on this date.

During the scene where James Stewart hiccups when drunk, you can see Cary Grant looking down and grinning. Since the hiccup wasn't scripted, Grant was on the verge of breaking out laughing and had to compose himself quickly.

I found this Christmas greeting from Terry Gilliam I forgot to post

Happy Holidays to you, Terry

December 24, 1951 -
Gian Carlo Menotti's Amahl and the Night Visitors became a Christmas classic on this date.

It was the first opera written specifically for television, and premiered on NBC .

Today in History:
December 24, 1865 -
Southern whitefolk unite together to form a service organization wherein they consort with other southern whitefolk on this date.

Members participate in festive cruciform fire ceremonies and lively negro butcherings.

By the 1920's membership in the Ku Klux Klan reaches an astonishing 2 million.

December 24, 1867 -
This was the first time that the R.H. Macy's department store in New York City remained open until midnight to catch last-minute shoppers.

Things never change.

December 24, 1914 -
World War I was only months old on Christmas Eve 1914 when an extraordinary unofficial truce occurred in many places along the Western Front. "We were all moved and felt quite melancholy," wrote one German soldier, "each of us taken up with his own thoughts of home." German and English troops, often less than one hundred yards from each other, set aside warfare to trade Christmas greetings and sing familiar carols in two languages (If you remember correctly, most of the major players in this war were more than just on a first name basis - they were all related to a minor German prince who happened to married to the Queen of England.)

The truce, probably observed by two-thirds of the British and German troops, ended with the holiday, but reasserted the basic decency of ordinary men like these British and German soldiers caught up in war.

December 24, 1954 -
Rock musician Johnny Ace plays a little .45 calibre solitaire (Russian Roulette) at City Auditorium in Houston after a concert.

Blammo.

He thought it would impress his girlfriend - perhaps it did.

December 24, 1968 -
Apollo VIII astronauts read passages from the Old Testament Book of Genesis and transmitting a message to all mankind calling for 'peace on earth', during a Christmas Eve television broadcast. The three astronauts, James A. Lovell, William Anders and Frank Borman (our friend with the messy space suit,) had reached the moon.

They would orbit the moon ten times, paving the way for the first Earthling to walk on the lunar surface some seven months down the road .

December 24, 1985 -
Fidel Castro announces that he has given up cigars.

Santa still leaves him a lump of something (I'm not saying what) in his stocking every Christmas.

3 more days of Hanukkah and you'd better hurry up and finish your shopping before I start explaining how the War of 1812 was resolved by the Treaty of Ghenet on this date in 1814 and yet the Battle of New Orleans took place on January 8, 1815, after the treaty was signed.

And so it goes

Remember, the days keep getting longer from here on

2011-12-23T08:25:00.003-05:00

Happy Festivus everyone.

As not to embarrass yourself tonight at your Festivus family gathering, here are the four tenets of the holiday:

The Festivus Pole: During Festivus, an unadorned aluminum pole is displayed. The pole was chosen apparently in opposition to the commercialization of highly decorated Christmas trees, because it is "very low-maintenance," and also because the holiday's patron, Frank Costanza, "find[s] tinsel distracting."

Festivus Dinner: The Festivus dinner menu is flexible, but it should consist of filling, non-holiday comfort food (no turkey, duck, goose, or ham). The televised dinner featured what may have been meatloaf or spaghetti in a red sauce. (Presumably, an entree in a red sauce is more festive.) Kruger took a flask out from his jacket and took a swig; so one might interpret that drinking is optional.

The Airing of Grievances: At the Festivus dinner, each participant tells friends and family of all the instances where they disappointed him or her that year.

The Feats of Strength: The head of the family tests his or her strength against one participant of the head's choosing. Festivus is not considered over until the head of the family has been pinned to the ground. A participant is allowed to decline to attempt to pin the head of the family only if they have something better to do instead.

A Healthy and Happy Festivus to you and your family.

Tonight's the Fourth Night of Hanukkah -

Have some fruit

Fire up your VCR's - Darlene Love is making her annual appearance on The Late Show tonight to sing, Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home.) Here's a clip of Darlene Love and Paul Shaffer discussing the planning that goes into tonight's annual performance -

As always, Dave's right - it's officially Christmas!

December 23, 1823 -
The famous poem A Visit From St. Nicholas was first published on this date. It begins, Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house / Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse ....

Fourteen years after its first publication, an editor attributed the poem to a wealthy professor of classical literature named Clement Clarke Moore.

In the last few years, new evidence has come out that a Revolutionary War major named Henry Livingston Jr. may have been the actual author of The Night Before Christmas. His family has letters describing his recitation of the poem before it was originally published, and literary scholars have found many similarities between his work and The Night Before Christmas. He was also three quarters Dutch, and many of the details in the poem, including names of the reindeer, have Dutch origins.

December 23, 1942 -
The Noel Coward-David Lean War time drama, In Which We Serve, premiered in the US on this date.

Noel Coward was nervous at the prospect of directing and asked his friend John Mills if he could recommend someone to help him. Mills suggested "the best film editor in the country", David Lean. This was the first film directed by David Lean.

December 23, 1954 -
Walt Disney's live-action film, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, premiered on this date.

Peter Lorre joked that the giant squid got the role that was usually reserved for him.

Today in History:
December 23, 1888 -
After an argument with fellow painter Paul Gauguin, Vincent van Gogh takes a razor and removes a portion of his left ear. Their quarrel regarded the prostitutes in Arles who seemed to prefer Gauguin over Van Gogh; the painter delivered his ear a startled prostitute. She fainted.

Some women get very emotional when they receive that special gift.

December 23, 1948 -
Japanese Premier Tojo and 6 others hanged by the War Crimes Commission at Sugamo Prison, Tokyo, for the crime of starting an aggressive war.

Now, that's not a necktie you want for Christmas.

December 23, 1968 -
On the first day of the first flight ever by astronauts to orbit the Moon, Apollo 8 commander Frank Borman suffers from the first documented case of motion sickness. Previous astronauts had reported nothing -- partly because their ships were too small for them to move around a lot and get queasy, partly because they kept their mouths shut for fear they'd never fly again.

There is nothing worse than barfing into your own spacesuit.

Oh, wait a minute, yes there is - barfing into someone else's spacesuit.

December 23, 1985 -
In a Lutheran school playground, James Vance and Raymond Belknap acted upon a drunken suicide pact forged while listening to Stained Class by Judas Priest. Belknap shot a 12 gauge shotgun under his chin, dying instantly, and Vance followed, but survived with a severely disfigured face. He later dies from painkillers on Thanksgiving three years later. Both kids' parents file suit against the band, but a judge ultimately rejects their subliminal message theory.

I believe anyone would kill themselves being forced to listen to Judas Priest.

4 more days of Hanukkah, 2 more shopping days until Christmas. At this point, if you haven't started shopping, may I suggested that a bag of athletic socks purchased from the local drug store might have to do.

And so it goes

The only people who grow old were born old to begin with.

2011-12-22T07:57:00.002-05:00

I mentioned the other day that the film The Bishop's Wife premiered in NYC on December 9, 1947. If you have a moment or two or 109, why not check it out -

Alright, you can get back to it all.

December 22, 1937 -
The center tube of the Lincoln Tunnel was opened to traffic today, charging $0.50 per passenger car.

Some of those cars are still trying to get through the tunnel.

December 22, 1949 -
The film version of Maxwell Anderson's play (Joan of Lorraine,) Joan of Arc, starring Ingrid Bergman opened in Los Angeles on this date.

The film was not really a commercial success upon release, but only partly due to RKO's poor publicity campaign (which producer Walter Wanger blamed on then-RKO president Howard Hughes). Audiences stayed away from the film when Ingrid Bergman's affair with director Roberto Rossellini was revealed while the movie was in release, because they considered it blasphemous for an adulterous woman to be playing a saint.

December 22, 1959 -
Joseph L. Mankiewicz' film version of Tennesse Williams' strange one act play (about rape, incest, homosexuality, and cannibalism - I know that was probably a huge selling point,) Suddenly, Last Summer, premiered on this date.

Because of years of alcoholism and prescription drug abuse, Montgomery Clift was considered uninsurable due to chronic ill health. Ordinarily that would have meant he would have been fired and replaced, but his good friend Elizabeth Taylor saved his job by insisting she would not do the film without him.

December 22, 1975 -
A beautiful study of love and madness (and the razor's edge between them), L'histoire d'Adele H, opened in the US on this date.

Initially planned as a grand-scale spectacular drama with Jeanne Moreau to play the lead, then Catherine Deneuve (then having an affair with François Truffaut) was considered for the role. The film took 7 years to be made, and finally Truffaut decided on Isabelle Adjani whom he noticed on a TV broadcast of the Comédie Française.

Today in History:
December 22, 1869 -
Christmas has come and gone, and I—to speak selfishly—am glad of it. The season always gives me the blues in spite of myself, though I manage to get a good deal of pleasure from thinking of the multitudes of happy kids in various parts of the world.

Edwin Arlington Robinson, American poet, was born on this date.

December 22, 1879 -
It's Stalin's birthday (again)! Hey, when your a dictator, you get to celebrate your birthday on more than one day. Unfortunately, the proper way to celebrate - oppress, torture and murder millions of your fellow country men - is frowned upon.

So smack someone upside the head for no reason.

December 22, 1940 -
Strange death of the day - Author Nathanael West and his wife, Eileen McKenney, died in an auto accident on this date.

Distraught over hearing of his friend's F. Scott Fitzgerald's death (who passed away a few days earlier of a massive heart attack,) he crashed his car after ignoring a stop sign.

December 22, 1955 -
The corpse of Evita Peron is stolen by anti-Peronistas.

30 years later (to the day), Madonna's Like a Virgin single goes #1 for weeks.

Make of the coincidence what you will.

December 22, 1965 -
David Lean's Russian epic, Dr Zhivago, premieres in the US, on this date.

The film was not shown in Russia until 1994.

December 22, 1984 -
Bernhard Goetz shoots 4 teenage boys on the NYC subway after one of them asks him for money.

Again, this practice is frowned upon, so smack someone upside the head.

December 22, 2001 -
Richard Reid attempts to blow up an American Airlines transatlantic flight by igniting a plastic explosive concealed in his shoe. Other passengers beat the living daylights out of him.

They knew, they smacked him upside the head.

5 more days of Hanukkah, 3 more shopping days until Christmas. (1 more shopping days until Festivus. Please feel free to add me to your list of family grievances together - I miscounted the days until Festivus.)

And so it goes

Blow, blow, thou winter wind ...

2011-12-21T08:01:00.004-05:00

In the northern hemisphere, today (actually it occurs at 12:30 AM Thursday in NYC) is the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year and the longest night.

It's officially the first day of winter and one of the oldest known holidays in human history.

Anthropologists believe that solstice celebrations go back at least 30,000 years, before humans even began farming on a large scale. The stone circles of Stonehenge were arranged to receive the first rays of midwinter sun.

It is therefore a good time to do things you wouldn't want the sun to hear about. The Pagans, for example, wisely celebrate their Yule holiday on the Winter Solstice.

Ancient peoples believed that because daylight was waning, it might go away forever, so they lit huge bonfires to tempt the sun to come back. The tradition of decorating our houses and our trees with lights at this time of year is passed down from those ancient bonfires.

In Ancient Rome, the winter solstice was celebrated with the festival of Saturnalia,

during which all business transactions and even war were suspended, and slaves were waited upon by their masters.

Hey, Get Naked, Paint Yourself Blue and Dance around the Fir Tree. It's party time!!!

December 21, 1932 -
The movie musical Flying Down to Rio premiered on this date.

Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, although minor players in the film, danced in their first joint movie together

December 21, 1937 -
The first feature-length color & sound cartoon Walt Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, premiered on this date.

The animation took over two years and a then astronomical $1.5 million to create. Disney had to mortgage his house to pay for the film's production.

December 21, 1940 -
Hot?! Who's afraid of hot?

Another classic Porky Pig cartoon, The Timid Toreador, premiered on this date.

December 21, 1959 -
The Orpheus legend set in Rio de Janeiro (with the fabulous music by Luiz Bonfa and Antonio Carlos Jobim,) Black Orpheus, premiered in the US on this date.

Although this won the Palme d'Or at Cannes and the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film, ironically it is not terribly well regarded in its native Brazil where some object to the depiction of their country as being a non-stop party.

Tonight is the second night of Hanukkah -

Hopefully you're all not too bloated.

Today in History -
The pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock on December 21, 1620 (Their stepping ashore onto a large rock that later became known as the Plymouth Rock probably is a myth .) Their boat was the Mayflower.

They wore black and white clothes with big shiny buckles.

The crew of the ship did not have enough beer to get to Virginia and back to England so they dropped the Pilgrims at Plymouth Rock to preserve their beer stock.

December 21, 1914 -
The first feature-length silent film comedy, Tillie's Punctured Romance, starring Marie Dressler, Charlie Chaplin and Mabel Normand, was released on this date.

This film marked the last time that Charles Chaplin would be directed by someone other than himself.

December 21, 1945 -
World War II General George Patton died in a car accident at Heidelberg, Germany on this date.

Patton was investigating the theft of Nazi gold by US Army men at the time. My grandfather was convinced that it was a conspiracy and he was killed by the men he was investigating. My gratherfather was a small time numbers runner but that's another story

December 21, 1970 -
Paranoid, alcoholic President Nixon meets with prescription drug addict Elvis Presley at the White House to discuss The King's becoming a special drug enforcement agent.

He presents Nixon with a pistol, and receives a special DEA badge in return.

December 21, 2012 -
The Mayan "long count" calendar is based on great cycles of 5125 years, the current cycle ending on this day in 2012.

Endings of cycles are punctuated by cataclysmic singularities on a deluge scale, so be prepared. This is the end of time! Or the end of massive sales at Amazon!

Remember to mark the date in your calendar and remember to ask for a discount on all the calendars you'll be buying this year.

Josif Djugashvili was born in the Gori District of Tiflis Province in Georgia, Imperial Russia, on December 21, 1879 (or December 18th or the 22nd. When you're an evil bastard dictator, you get to choose your own birthday).

His father was a drunken and often unemployed cobbler, illiterate, and like Josif’s mother, Ekaterina, had only been emancipated from serfdom in 1864. Mr. Djugashvili was a violent man, and often beat little Josif, whose left arm was permanently injured in a childhood "accident." Josif was also afflicted by small pox at the age of five, and this left his face a crosshatching of pockmarks.

To say that the cobbler's son had no shoes would be the grossest of understatements.

At the Gori Elementary School, little Joey Djugashvili was unexceptional in terms of grade point average, aptitude, and physical education. His self-esteem was in tatters. He was a moody, sullen boy, but even in the benighted educational environment of nineteenth century Imperial Russia, his teachers knew that beneath his brooding exterior there beat the heart of a wounded frightened child.

"Joey only needed a little encouragement," one teacher recalled in an interview published shortly before her disappearance. "He’d never speak up in class, but if you took the time to talk to him one-on-one he’d blossom like a flower."

Another teacher recalled Djugashvili’s difficult home life. "His parents never came to our Meet the Faculty suppers," the pedagogue reflected from his cell not long before his execution. "So I visited his home on several occasions. His mother was not very affectionate, but his father was a brute and a tyrant and would only address him as 'dumb-ass.' You knew even then that the cards were stacked against the poor kid."

His peers taunted him mercilessly at school, and his high school class voted him "most likely to die alone and unloved." But one cannot help but be startled by the Djugashvili staring out from the photograph in his high school yearbook. The overall look is haunted, but even then there could be seen the galvanization of will, the hardening of determination, that in a few short years the world would learn to know and fear as Josif Stalin.

One can only feel pity for this troubled soul, this poor, sweet child who never wanted anything more than a little love and attention. Even as one watches the same old familiar footage of a laughing Stalin quaffing a martini while marching over a path paved with human skulls, even then if one looks closely one can see the eyes of the child he once was: frightened, sad, and alone.

Was Little Joe truly a wellspring of bloody malevolence, or was he perhaps a victim himself, a frightened and insecure little boy who wanted nothing more than a little approval and a few kind words? It’s easy to hold him responsible for the thirty to forty-five million deaths that occurred on his watch, but was it really all his fault? Can we not properly lay some, if not all, of the responsibility for the sins of the son on the deeds of the father?

I hope that parents everywhere will give their children a little extra love and attention this holiday season, because the world needs another little Joe like I need a samovar up my ass.

6 more days of Hanukkah, 4 more shopping days until Christmas. (1 more shopping days until Festivus. Get your list of family grievences together.)

And so it goes

Check for Zuzu's petals in your pocket

2011-12-20T08:00:00.001-05:00

December 20, 1946 -
The Frank Capra film It's A Wonderful Life had a preview showing for charity at New York City's Globe Theatre, a day before its official premiere.

The film is regarded as a classic and is a staple of Christmas television around the world, although, due to its high production costs and stiff competition at the box office, financially, it was considered a flop.

Next time you get a chance to watch the film, notice what a truly strange little film it really is.

December 20, 1967 -
Mike Nichols' seminal '60s film, The Graduate, starring Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancroft, premiered on this date.

Dustin Hoffman was already set to play a role in Mel Brooks The Producers when the opportunity to audition for The Graduate came up. Deferentially, Hoffman asked Brooks' permission to audition for the part in the other film. Through his wife, Anne Bancroft, (already cast) Brooks was familiar with the story of The Graduate. He allowed Hoffman to audition, blithely confident he'd be found unsuitable for role of Mrs. Robinson's lover.

Today in History
December 20, 1802 -
The United States buys the Louisiana Territory from France.

The wisdom of this purchase was not fully appreciated at first but after Mardi Gras it was warmly embraced.

(It was not for nothing that Thomas Jefferson collected beads.)

December 20, 1879 -
Thomas Edison privately demonstrated light bulb to a rapt audience on this date at Menlo Park, N.J.

Unfortunately, it takes 27 of his assistants to lift the entire shed and turn it around to screw in the bulb and many believe the light will never take off.

December 20, 1892 -
According to Jules Verne, On October 2nd Phileas Fogg steps out of the Explorers Club in London, England and decides to take a little trip.

Due to the incompetence and laziness of transit workers, completes his trip on this date.

Adolf Hitler was released from prison on December 20, 1924, after serving less than a year against a five-year treason sentence. Hitler became a prolific author while in prison, where he penned the infamous political autobiography Mein Kampf. (How I Intend to Enslave or Kill Millions of People Immediately Upon My Release.)

He also outlined a series of children’s books which have sadly been lost to history as a result of his having chosen upon his release to pursue a path of demonic world conquest instead of pedagogical literature. One can only wonder what sort of success Hitler would have experienced with titles such as The Little Engine That Was Betrayed by Jewish Usurers, Where the Wild Things Are and How to Eliminate Them and Every Little Aryan Child’s Bedtime Book of Insidious Evil and Global Domination.

December 20, 1957 -
Elvis receives orders from the draft board to serve in the United States Army, which to his credit he does without complaint.

I should have warned you that you would have seen the bare chest of Evis.

December 20, 1997 -
Sotheby's auctions off the loincloth worn by Kirk Douglas in the 1960 film Spartacus for $2,990 on this date.

You can't get those at Robert Hall, aisle five.

7 more days of Hanukkah, 5 more shopping days until Christmas. (2 more shopping days until Festivus. Make sure you get your an unadorned aluminum pole before they run out.)

And so it goes

Here's a story for the kids

2011-12-19T08:00:00.004-05:00

Last year, during the holidays, Werner Herzog read us a tale, giving us the illusionary opiate of comfort for these troubled times, Clement Clarke Moore’s A Visit from St. Nicholas. This year, Mr Herzog reads Madeline - a tale of the sexual maturation of a young Parisian girl in pre World War II Europe and the Fisher King like wound she receives:

... The tiger dreams only of death.....

According to several news sources, Kim Jong-il, who has led the communist nation since the death of his father in 1994, died on a train while visiting an area outside the capital.

Let's hope this isn't the beginning of a very bad political thriller. I've read the very fine print in the contract I signed in my abortive bid to get the world signed over to me when Frank Sinatra died. Apparently, I have to be prepared to possibly be named the new Supreme Leader of North Korea.. I might play the spoons for the talent portion of the competition but I have a huge amount of waxing to do for the swimsuit part.

As you can imagine, it's more than a little hectic in our house, so here's an abbreviated Today in History:
December 19, 1941 -
Twelve days after Pearl Harbor, Franklin D. Roosevelt under authority of Congress, created the Office of Censorship. The bureau had discretion over communications with foreign countries. Participation by domestic publishers was "voluntary."

Ah, presidential power...

December 19, 1971 -
A Clockwork Orange premiered on this date, originally with an X rating. Censors objected more to the sex scenes than the violence.

One of only two movies rated X on its original release (the other being Midnight Cowboy) to be nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards.

December 19, 1974 -
Nelson A. Rockefeller was sworn in as the 41st vice president of the United States after a House vote. Rockefeller was the second person appointed Vice President under the 25th Amendment – the first being Gerald Ford (the man for whom he was serving as Vice President.)

After the proceedings, Rockefeller celebrates by vigorously copulating with three of his assistants in the Warren G. Harding memorial cloakroom.

December 19, 1997 -
The movie, Titanic was released in theaters on this date. This movie would become the most financially successful movie in U.S. history, grossing approximately $1.8 billion worldwide (until the release of Avatar in 2009, which grossed an astounding $2.075 billion. Avatar was conveniently directed by Mr. Cameron as well.)

James Cameron went on the dives to the real Titanic himself, and found it an overwhelming emotional experience to actually see it. He ended up spending more time with the ship than its living passengers did.

1 more shopping days until Hanukkah (get your potato graters ready,) 6 more shopping days until Christmas. (3 more shopping days until Festivus). Remember, stores will be packed with late Festivus shoppers.

And so it goes

Here's A Jimmy Stewart Holiday Movie (But not that one)

2011-12-18T08:59:00.001-05:00

Why not finish writing out your Christmas cards (or start helping Santa wrap those presents and play this wonderful Lubitsch film - The Shop Around the Corner in the background -

To make sure his film was stripped of the glamor usually associated with him, Lubitsch went to such lengths as ordering that a dress Margaret Sullavan had purchased off the rack for $1.98 be left in the sun to bleach and altered to fit poorly.

December 18, 1957 -
David Lean's epic glimpse into the insanity of war, The Bridge on the River Kwai, premiered in the US on this date.

Howard Hawks was asked to direct, but declined. After the box-office failure of Land of the Pharaohs, he didn't want a second one in a row, and he thought the critics would love this movie but the public would stay away. One particular concern was the all-male lead roles.

December 18, 1966 -
Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas aired for the first time on CBS on this date.

Boris Karloff's voice changes when he speaks for the Grinch. Originally he spoke in his "Narrator" voice throughout. After recording was complete, the highs in his voice were mechanically removed for the Grinch, giving him the gravelly voice heard in the finished version.

Today in History:
December 18, 1626 -
Christina (Kristina), Queen of Sweden , later known as Maria Christina Alexandra, Minerva of the North, Protectress of the Jews at Rome and sometimes Count Dohna, was born on this date. Like most royalty and some presidents, Christina did not have to carry money, a passport or consistently spell her name the same way.

Kristina father, King Gustav II Adolf, wanted a boy and decreed she be given the best education possible. Christina's mother, Maria Eleonora of Brandenburg, an early proponent of Jewish guilt as a tool for childhood rearing, repeatedly told Kristina about the 'horrors' of sex and childbirth. These factors may have prejudiced Kristina against the prospect of having to produce an heir to the throne and convinced her to adopt the dress and manner of a man.

True story: in the winter of 1650 the magnificent Queen Kristina of Sweden summoned Rene Descartes to Stockholm to tutor her in philosophy. With his trademark optimism ("I think warm, therefore I am not cold"), he accepted the invitation and hurried up from Paris. Not long after his arrival, he died of pneumonia. But I digress ...

Queen Kristina, or the Girl King as she liked to be known, (as opposed to King Ludwig of Bavaria the Boy Queen, but that's another story) chose the rather shockingly ungodly motto (probably sarcastically) that "Wisdom is the Prop of the Realm." She abdicated in 1654 converted to Catholicism and dashed around Europe on a white horse, wearing men's clothing and studying philosophy and sleeping with men and women. She is one of the only few women buried within St. Peter's Basilica.

In the 1930's, she was portrayed by Greta Garbo in the film Queen Christina. Garbo basically modeled her later life on this character except for the converting thing.

December 18, 1892 -
Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker Suite publicly premiered in Saint Petersburg, Russia, at the Maryinsky Theater on this date.

The first performance of The Nutcracker was not deemed a success. The reaction to the dancers themselves was ambivalent. Reception was better for Tchaikovsky's score.

New Jersey was the third state admitted to the Union, on this date in 1787. It derives its name from the isle of Jersey, just off England's shore (and also near Britain).

The official state bird of New Jersey is the Eastern Goldfinch.

The state bug is the honey bee (apis mellifera).

The state tree is the red oak (Quercus borealis maxima). The state flower is the common meadow violet (Viola sororia). The state shell is the knobbed whelk, also known as the conch shell (Busycon carica gmelin). The state fish is the brook trout (Salvelinus fontinalis), the state animal is the horse (Equus caballus),

and the state dinosaur is the Hadrosaurus (Hadrosaurus foulkii).

The eggplant is not the official vegetable of New Jersey because it's not a vegetable. It's a fruit

—a berry, actually—and New Jersey claims to produce two-thirds of all the eggplant in the world. (It's a bogus claim, and one that leaves me wondering not so much about the world eggplant situation, but the mindset of whoever thought it would enhance New Jersey's reputation if people thought it was the world's leading producer of eggplant. I mean, eggplant?)

There is no official berry of New Jersey, but if there were it would almost certainly be the eggplant, which would cause great confusion among persons accustomed to putting berries in their cereal.

New Jersey has a population of 8.48 million on 7,417 square miles of land. It's the fifth smallest state in the country. With 1,134 people per square mile, it's the densest state in the nation. The relative density of New Jersey should come as no surprise to anyone who's ever driven behind a car with Jersey plates.

And I didn't have to mention anything about Gov. Christie.

Quick pop quiz -
On December 18, 1940, Adolf Hitler issued his plans for…
a. The Volkswagen
b. An extremely white Christmas
c. The bombing of Britain
d. The invasion of Russia
e. The conquest of Cyprus
f. Recovery of the lost Ark of the Covenant

December 18, 1966 -
The Pink Panther cartoon series premiered with the episode titled The Pink Phink on this date

The Pink Panther character, created for the animated opening credits of The Pink Panther movie, was so popular that this short was produced as a starring vehicle for the character. This short marks the only time a studio has won an Oscar with its first cartoon release.

2 more shopping days until Hanukkah (get to the supermarket before they run out of potatoes,) 7 more shopping days until Christmas. (4 more shopping days until Festivus). If you haven't started shopping yet - think cash (the gift that shows you care.)

And so it goes